Define it!

I have a very soft spot for women and I can’t help it. I am my parents’ only son, I have three lovely sisters and most of my cousins are females. With all these pretty women all around me, I have found it very difficult to keep a relationship for at least six months (that’s how long my longest relationship lasted). I am close to 30 and can only boast of only two real relationships. Despite this girlfriend draught, I have suffered numerous heartbreaks. I guess you will be like “no girlfriends, where did your heartbreaks come from?” – Poor me; most of the ladies that broke my heart, broke it before I gave it to them. They call off the relationship before it starts.
I recently realized that my dilemma is not peculiar to me alone, I have friends that have had their own share of heartbreaks , cousins that have been “MUGU-ned” and uncles that have been taken for a ride a gazillion times.
Many men have become chauffeurs, bodyguards and ATM’s (any-time-money, all- time- maga, always-timely-mugun). Guys, it’s high time we woke up, let us get how priorities right. Relationships don’t just start like that. The regular trend is that boy meets girl, you are first acquaintances (stage1), then friends (stage 2) and then lovers (stage 3). It’s not every girl that you meet that will make it to the third stage (except you are King Solomon), some make it to friendship, and normally only one should make it to stage three.
A good number guys get it missed up in stage 2. I tend to ask people over and over again if it is right for a guy to have a female friend. If it is, when and where do they draw the line? , When do they stop being friends, i.e. when does stage 2 become stage 3?
You drive her to school everyday; you live in magodo, pick her at house in festac and take her to school in akoka. You do this like four times a week, yet she is just your friend.
You meet every afternoon during lunch break Monday to Friday, and do movies every Friday night, yet she is just your friend.
You drive her home after every church service, when you actually live on the other side of town, yet she is just your friend.
You her and her friends clubbing twice a month, you do V.I.P; yet she is just your friend.
When does stage 2 become stage 3?
Most guys get confused and don’t know, thus they get their hearts broken before a relationship is defined.
The fact of the matter is that I also don’t know when stage 2 becomes stage 3, but I have learnt to define my friendships, setting goals and limitations. Proximity they say breeds affection. A Yoruba adage says “You don’t smell what you will not be eating”
Men, let us be firm; it is not all babes you meet that you should get friendly with. Not all acquaintances should become friends and not all friends should become lovers.
This piece is not for every male, it is for emotional men like me, if you can handle it, you can have as many female friends as you like. But you that have a soft spot for women, you need to set standards and don’t compromise, before the ladies take advantage of your genuine intentions. I am not saying you should be cruel to every girl that comes your way. All I’m advocating is that you shine your eyes, think it through before you do that favor.
These days most girls are on the prowl, looking for our type. All they want from you is the comfort you can offer them, they will only milk you dry and find their way.
Please, take a stand; stage 1, stages 2 or 3……..define it!
I need to go, she just called need to pick her up at festac.
Tae.

ah feel ur pain bro. bt a number of times, those defined stages dnt work. if the chemistry is right, u can sweep the lady off her feet the very first time you meet her, am sure u dnt wanna end up in the FRNDS zone becos its in this zone dat a lot of dem emotional guys get their hrts brokn..... when the lady now places u in this zone, her frndly gestures will seem romantic for you. then you nw start acting emotional, becoming increasingly needy and clingy.. natually, u have just paid her flight fare out of ur life.... so the truth remains that both partners must be ATTRACTED to each other in some way.Being friends with her MIGHT no be a pre-requisite for being her lover....