Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,199,262 members, 7,970,935 topics. Date: Wednesday, 09 October 2024 at 06:08 PM

Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? - Family (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? (21310 Views)

As A Husband, Or Wife, Who Will You Make Your Next Of Kin / Why You Should Be Careful In Choosing Your Next Of Kin (Photos) / Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by Oshe99: 9:14am On Apr 25, 2013
Wen d phrase next of kin is mentioned, d 1st tin dat comes 2 pp mind is properties. Next of kin is also a person who can take control of any situation in case of any emergency. Strongly, I restrictly beleive a persons wife/husband should be his/her next of kin if they dont yet have an adult kid(s). But most men dont think dat way so how do we correct this?

1 Like

Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by Nobody: 9:16am On Apr 25, 2013
my next of kin is my wife because when am not around she runs the family
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by debtech(m): 9:16am On Apr 25, 2013
tellwisdom: Next of kin being the wife??---GOD FORBID angry angry...It has to be my mama or my papa angry angry

Eeeeehhh!!! Do u pray that u die before ur parents?
To be practical, the next of kin should be ones wife but in a circumstances where u can not fully trust ur wife u can use ur children as ur next of kin. Any married Man using any other person as his next of kin aside his immediate family (Wife & Children) lacks wisdom.
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by Nobody: 9:26am On Apr 25, 2013
NLG_woodey:

It is a lot easier to negotiate with a wife that is not fully under the influence and goading of her mother. You will never know until you get in. I guess the lure of visa to USA made her package herself well that I misinterpreted the shortcomings that was so obvious that even a blind person could see it. It was all my fault. I fall mugu big time the way she and her mother packaged her.

She used to pray and even speak in tongue when we were engaged but now the church is a no-go area. I just filed
for divorce. I don't care what it takes but I will pay whatever the court decides just to get her away from me.

For her family, it is about the money. But all I need is love and peace of mind. I now understand why they say money
can buy a house but not a home. I never consumed alcoholic beverages until I got married. Now it is from the office
to the bar to get inebriated before heading home for sleep. Hopefully, she will be asleep b4 I get home.

If you really care all you can do is to remember me in your prayers.
Eh yah! I feel so sorry for you. I can imagine how you feel; making a wrong choice. But then, who am I to think you made a wrong choice? Something probable went wrong... Other things being equal, every woman wants a 'happy' home. There is no smoke without fire... Divorce should be the last thing on your mind. You don't know what kind of character the woman you are going to marry after her has. You made reference to something in you last sentence -"prayer". I really believe in the power of prayer cos with God nothing is impossible. I will be praying for you and so should you. God will intervene. Just be patient and have faith
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by Nobody: 9:27am On Apr 25, 2013
NLG_woodey:

It is a lot easier to negotiate with a wife that is not fully under the influence and goading of her mother. You will never know until you get in. I guess the lure of visa to USA made her package herself well that I misinterpreted the shortcomings that was so obvious that even a blind person could see it. It was all my fault. I fall mugu big time the way she and her mother packaged her.

She used to pray and even speak in tongue when we were engaged but now the church is a no-go area. I just filed
for divorce. I don't care what it takes but I will pay whatever the court decides just to get her away from me.

For her family, it is about the money. But all I need is love and peace of mind. I now understand why they say money
can buy a house but not a home. I never consumed alcoholic beverages until I got married. Now it is from the office
to the bar to get inebriated before heading home for sleep. Hopefully, she will be asleep b4 I get home.

If you really care all you can do is to remember me in your prayers.
Eh yah! I feel so sorry for you. I can imagine how you feel; making a wrong choice. But then, who am I to think you made a wrong choice? Something probable went wrong... Other things being equal, every woman wants a 'happy' home. There is no smoke without fire... Divorce should be the last thing on your mind. You don't know what kind of character the woman you are going to marry after her has. You made reference to something in you last sentence -"prayer". I really believe in the power of prayer cos with God nothing is impossible. I will be praying for you and so should you. God will intervene. Just be patient and have faith
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by Nobody: 9:36am On Apr 25, 2013
but op sincerely and frankly reasoning by me, this ur story get as em be oooo, ur sis dey yarn u dz kin thing dat concerns money and inheritance at this early morning. Maybe u and her dey plan something for the man. I no talk anything ooo.... But y she go marry muslim 2 start with?
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by Nobody: 9:58am On Apr 25, 2013
kofsy:
Eh yah! I feel so sorry for you. I can imagine how you feel; making a wrong choice. But then, who am I to think you made a wrong choice? Something probable went wrong... Other things being equal, every woman wants a 'happy' home. There is no smoke without fire... Divorce should be the last thing on your mind. You don't know what kind of character the woman you are going to marry after her has. You made reference to something in you last sentence -"prayer". I really believe in the power of prayer cos with God nothing is impossible. I will be praying for you and so should you. God will intervene. Just be patient and have faith
u people should just 4get dat prayer something, is there any amount of prayer that u can pray 4 boko haram to drop their arms? Or pray for an armed robber 2 drop his guns if u don't settle the person's initial problem which are their interest. His wife's interest was to dig gold and the only way 4 her to stop is 2 get d gold and not prayer, she wasn't getting married to him at first cos of marriage but cos of the money and good life. We better solve problems pragmatically not just pouring dust everywhere. The wife got wat she wanted and the best thing he should do for his own good is to divorce her and have peace period

1 Like

Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by Eneze1(f): 10:26am On Apr 25, 2013
[quote author=NLG_woodey]

[color=#000099]It is a lot easier to negotiate with a wife that is not fully under the influence and goading of her mother. You will never know until you get in. I guess the lure of visa to USA made her package herself well that I misinterpreted the shortcomings that was so obvious that even a blind person could see it. It was all my fault. I fall mugu big time the way she and her mother packaged her.

She used to pray and even speak in tongue when we were engaged but now the church is a no-go area. I just filed
for divorce. I don't care what it takes but I will pay whatever the court decides just to get her away from me.

For her family, it is about the money. But all I need is love and peace of mind. I now understand why they say money
can buy a house but not a home. I never consumed alcoholic beverages until I got married. Now it is from the office
to the bar to get inebriated before heading home for sleep. Hopefully, she will be asleep b4 I get home.

If you really care all you can do is to remember me in your prayers.





really felt for you, had an Uncle that experienced a similar situation in the States, pray God give you the grace to pull through, my prayers for u
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by oldave: 10:52am On Apr 25, 2013
It actually depends on one's orientation and cultural or religious affiliations.for me my next of kin is my wife is not disputable.
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by tellwisdom: 11:14am On Apr 25, 2013
debtech:

Eeeeehhh!!! Do u pray that u die before ur parents?
To be practical, the next of kin should be ones wife but in a circumstances where u can not fully trust ur wife u can use ur children as ur next of kin. Any married Man using any other person as his next of kin aside his immediate family (Wife & Children) lacks wisdom.

Abeg go sit down inside gutter undecided
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by s25million: 11:21am On Apr 25, 2013
NLG_woodey:

It is a lot easier to negotiate with a wife that is not fully under the influence and goading of her mother. You will never know until you get in. I guess the lure of visa to USA made her package herself well that I misinterpreted the shortcomings that was so obvious that even a blind person could see it. It was all my fault. I fall mugu big time the way she and her mother packaged her.

She used to pray and even speak in tongue when we were engaged but now the church is a no-go area. I just filed
for divorce. I don't care what it takes but I will pay whatever the court decides just to get her away from me.

For her family, it is about the money. But all I need is love and peace of mind. I now understand why they say money
can buy a house but not a home. I never consumed alcoholic beverages until I got married. Now it is from the office
to the bar to get inebriated before heading home for sleep. Hopefully, she will be asleep b4 I get home.

If you really care all you can do is to remember me in your prayers.

u see what i meant. I lost a couple hundred of thousands (dollars) to the bastard that i practically gave my all. I pity boys that go on all abour these love porkies. Y'all gonna get burnt. I fought my darling mom my brah, sis and virtually anyone who questioned her but the ungrateful filth rounded up a sizeable chunk for herself while still alive.
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by Ogadtop(m): 11:53am On Apr 25, 2013
50calibre: A wife is allowed to be next of kin only after she has proven her worth or mettle usually after a period of 15 - 20 years. else it has to be your mum. Mums are like next to God, they never fail you.
my mom? never! my mom loves my elder sister even more than herself and every memner of the family knows that.she once hijacked my money meant to settle my bills for a whole session while i was in school.she diverted it into my sister's business.if my wife cant be my next of kin then make the space of next of kin dey blank.
my mama no go even wait make i die before she carry all my inheritance go give my sister.she will tell me that at least my sister will take care of my children na.
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by basadenet: 12:37pm On Apr 25, 2013
I think the husband may have his own reasons but in the real sense of it, the children should be made the next of kin. However that does give the wife the impetus to fight her husband because of this, all she can do is to get the husband family to get in involved if not it may boomerang.
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by lastpage: 2:56pm On Apr 25, 2013
debtech:

Eeeeehhh!!! Do u pray that u die before ur parents?
To be practical, the next of kin should be ones wife but in a circumstances where u can not fully trust ur wife u can use ur children as ur next of kin. Any married Man using any other person as his next of kin aside his immediate family (Wife & Children) lacks wisdom.

The problem with the bolded part is that "Your ten year old son is NOT, legally speaking, in a position to 'execute' anything on your behalf, when you are incapacitated, in every sense of that word.

In essence, if you dont want to use your wife, for whatever reasons.... and use your under-age son, you have INDIRECTLY, used your Wife (whom you dont want to use)!

In such circumstance, your immediate siblings (Brothers/Sisters) or even trusted friends, can be used.
Mind you, next-of-kin is not all about property-sharing nor inheritance.
it could imply someone who could "take-charge" of proceedings, if you are incapacitated.

And by the way, some people's opinion and circumstance have shown that "third parties", like friends who have no "personal interest" in your estate, are in the best position to deliver "unselfish decisions" about your estate, in your absence.
You just might also want to eliminate the "temptation/motive" to get murdered by your wife! shocked shocked shocked

We all know how wife/family/children fight over Daddy'd estate now?

Lastapge.

But which woman will not want to be her husband's next of kin.... afterall, in all probability, the Husband will die first, before the wife!
If you doubt me, go to Benin and ask about "Baba landlord"! No-where to be seen in all the houses!
Just Mama Landlady! grin grin grin
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by yebo: 3:07pm On Apr 25, 2013
Ur aunty shld tank God dat shes opportuned to knw dat her husband is using his younger brother has next of kin, I tink it is an opportunity for her to roll her sleeves n start saving for her children, she shld work hard n invest for her children. Now dat she's fighting for next of kin, does she knws wht d husband has written in his Will or will write in his Will? Fighting d husband is not d rite thing now but to sit down n tink of how to personally invest for her children. Dis is one big mistakes most married men do, dey involve their relatives too much in their properties instead of carrying their children along, dey allow dem to knw all their properties and investment n by d time d husband is late u see dem fighting over d properties with d children but d less properties dey knw d less problem for d children
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by tinanchedo: 3:29pm On Apr 25, 2013
women should work, dont depend on your husband, dont have more than two children. if you are working, he should be the one draging your next of kin. most men are too wicked on their wife.
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by babybos(m): 3:54pm On Apr 25, 2013
50calibre: A wife is allowed to be next of kin only after she has proven her worth or mettle usually after a period of 15 - 20 years. else it has to be your mum. Mums are like next to God, they never fail you.
Your prayer is that your mum will inherit your property
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by zeera2(f): 5:04pm On Apr 25, 2013
Ilekokonit:

How many of todays fraudulent marriages will last for 10 years talk less of 15-20 years ?
this is my 11th year,I met my husband since 2003,n I wil be 30 september dis year,not all ladies r afta money,there r still decent women in nigeria n all around d world.
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by Ogadtop(m): 5:14pm On Apr 25, 2013
50calibre: A wife is allowed to be next of kin only after she has proven her worth or mettle usually after a period of 15 - 20 years. else it has to be your mum. Mums are like next to God, they never fail you.
my mama ke!!!!!!! my mom loves my elder sis more than any of us and we all know that fact.my mom can give her life to my sis.she once hijacked my school fee while i was in school and diverted it into my sis business. if my wife cant be my next of kin,then the post should be vacant.
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by bbulldog(m): 6:26pm On Apr 25, 2013
My dad is my next of kin sha!
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by adanny01(m): 11:41pm On Apr 25, 2013
This man is making a very big mistake over a non issue.

Its simple.

Put his kid, no matter how young. In the event of his demise, the guardian to his children will oversee is estate until such a time his next of kin comes of age to handle it.

Choosing either his broda or wife is just heating relationships and causing mistrust.

Unless the bulk of his estate is family inheritance which he inherited while his brothers are alive. In that case, it will be fair to use his brother.
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by YemiAde3(m): 11:43pm On Apr 25, 2013
Lusola15:

Look at dis
A wo/man decide to divorce his/her partner after 12year of marriage. Now before d marriage went sour, everytin was and is still in partner name. Now s/he is leaving d other party with notin to marriage a younger person or whatever. What do think dt person will do? Walk away without a fight for ur ....

Der is more to marriage dan love

If a woman walks away then the husband moves on and changes the next of kin. If a man walks away she equally changes her next of kin,if you are looking at the property, I think that belongs to the children. The man can not share his property while still alive so what's the fight all about?
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by chieli: 7:56am On Apr 26, 2013
[quote author=Caracta]My next of kin is my wife. And that's because, we are "one". She is 'me', I am 'her'. Or she is 'i' and I am 'she' angry undecided

It's my wife till we both agree it should change to our son when he is of age. i think the problem here is not who should be next of kin but that genuine love is missing. the woman won't feel insecure and his next of kin won't be his brother if love truely exist between the couple. they needs to pray and talk. God will help every one of us. Amen!
Re: Married Men: Who's Your Next Of Kin And Why? by chy22(m): 3:13pm On Jun 30, 2013
kofsy:
Lol! He's not my hubby jor... I'm not married (he's my aunt's hubby). From my own perspective, I think a man's wife should be his next of kin. But my aunt is fighting for her space in the home. God forbid, if anything happens to the hubby, his family may come and chase her out and start claiming properties. And with his kind of family I know they can do it cos they don't like my aunt they never wanted their son to marry her cos she's a christian and they are muslims. Even my family didn't want my aunt to marry the guy, but she insisted. Sincerely, I'm scared of these muslims o, they can do and undo when it comes to fighting over a
dead man's property; especially when they don't like the wife.


If your aunt husband is not dead and from the ages of the kids he is still young. Yet your aunt is already talking about sharing property and death. There is a big question mark to what your said aunt really have in mind.

If he trusts his brother enough to use him as next of kin and not your aunt his wife, then she should ask her self questions about what kind of wife she is. Untrustworthy or trustworthy. Next of kin is a question of trust and not about sharing property or death.

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply)

Work Wahala In My Marriage / "I Had 19 Kids With 10 Women But Didn’t Marry Them" Kenyan Man Tells Court (Pix) / Mom Drives Away With Her 5-weeks-old Baby On Top Of Car

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 68
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.