Don't know exactly what to call it; rude awakening or shocker of my life!! I stumbled on photocopies of my husband's pension's scheme form, Life Insurance form and will.

As I went through the forms, I saw that my I am not my husband's next of Kin or beneficiary!! His younger brother is!! It hurts to realise that for a house that Ђåvε̲ made more than 60percent contribution to, per adventure something happens tomorrow, I will be left at the mercy of my brother in laws!!!

I haven't confronted him yet because I don't know how to. But I intend starting a secret saving account for myself because as at now, he access to all my bank accounts. I have also decided to stop contributing a dime to the house because I don't Ђåvε̲ any stake in it!

Are my thoughts in order? Please I need suggestions...what do I do? Married men why on earth would your wife not be your next of kin?

Two wrongs don't make a right. Talk to him and listen to his explanations add that will guide your decision. It is possible his explanations will open greater sockets. Just try to be calm do that you can pick ask necessary details.

If you are scared of the future, why not sit and talk to him as intelligently as you type. Dialogue is the best.

Yet to have a child??

yes..u shuld start saving up for urself...just incase.
then have a talk wit him. u hav a right to ask why u ar not his nrxt of kin despite ur contributions to said house.

do u hav kids? if yes...then perhaps u suggest he uses d children instead of his brother. shaa table ur fearsn let him kno d consequences if smthn appens to him

finally..commit it al to God in prayers. and start lookn out for ur self.
IMO

Hian like unah know who go first die.




Sha, methinks you should talk to him bout it and sue him if he insists.

Hmmnmnn

If I say anything now, they will call me names

But sorry o woman
U are very dumb
Lived n living all ur life for a man, even without seeing his will u shld have made smth for ursef, well welcome to the real world

If my wife makes life a living hell for me,I'll do d same thing
Mrs wifey look at. the mirror

Are there no kids from ur marriage? I'm of the opinion the familly's first offspring ought to be his next of kin. I may be wrong though. Have a dialogue with your husband. Most Brothers and sisters in law often times metamorphosize into enemies when the unifying factor( their brother u married) is no more. The love they had for you just disappears. They forget the man's kids are still around. And woe betide you if you had no child for their brother. This things do happen. Talk to your husband. But after the talk,whether it goes well or not, head to the bank for your own personal account. Also see how you can establish yourself and rack in more money for yourself. Don't rely too much on your husband's assets. That's the mistake most married women make. Make your own money as well. It will help you stand firm.

Start saving ASAP!

@Op, is your husband dead yet? Don't you think it makes more sense to talk to him and strongly convey your displeasure about the anomaly instead of coming here to seek for advice from strangers who most times would have nothing positive to contribute but rather wish to scatter your home. Please be wise as the time used in coming to Nairaland should have been used to sort things out with your hubby. Remain blessed

Talk with him and discuss the implications which is that you will start your own savings, withdraw your pension contributions and start your investments.

Again the question, do you have a son?

When I read through, Some questions just come to my head.

Please make out time to answer.

How long have you been married?

Do you have kids?

What is your husband's relationship with your family?

How is your relationship with your husband's family?

How is your relationship with your husband? are you frustrating his life?


I think the first thing on every man's mind is the security of his children, not you. am sorry, but that's the truth.


A man will not leave all he has for a woman who he is not sure will take care of all his family. this includes his mothers and brothers.
he might see you too selfish.

If he is silently frustrated and dying inside the marriage, he won't leave everything for you
Maybe because you have a good thing going for you, probably you earn more than him, he doesn't see the use of the pension to you. It's just pension money. yours can be much more than his own.

But in other case, please discuss this with him o. communication is key in relationship. if you bottle this up, secrets and worms will start eating up your marriage. Discuss it with him, he might have an ill-adviced reason for doing it. and maybe you can point out the disadvantages in his decision. you might be surprised that he never thought about that angle. @britneystacy

Hum, don't just conclude what to do without asking him reasons for doing that. Most men don't know d important of that while some just assume death can not come now. My hubby used his brother when he was working, I confronted him and he said he did it cos he was not marry then. We lost a brother last year only to get to his place of work n discover he used d person dat assisted him to secure d job as next of kin, they're not related oo n he has about 9kids (none is yet to get to uni). Ask him, it is his reaction that will tell u next thing to do.

U want to be his next of kin
I say ur husband is smart but if u already have kids then he is dumb
And u dnt know the kind of relationship that he has with his brother

Hmmmm so wetin make we come do now?

Good one. the husband must have discovered that you are nothing but a gold digger. too bad

A colleague of mine is guilty of this.

I wonder if he trusts his brother enough to look after his kids when he is away.

My father died and his brothers became our worse enemy, fighting over wealth that didn't exist.

It is not wise at all.

and so

k

See gobe

If you had proven to him that you are trustworthy, I don't see the reason he should have done all that to you. You have not told us your real self. Are you a bronze digger?

Talk to him and make sure he changes it to you or your kid. Do not accept any reason from him. Do something now before something do you. His brother is a no no for me. I am talking from a life experience I witnessed from my aunt.

Well I have to tell you its better you try and have a calm and matured discussion with him.

Because from experience if your situation is not taken care of with caution.

Its a ticking time Bomb.

And your future may be in ruins even with hubby Alive.

So pls tread carefully.

God help you.

So?

BritneyStacy:
Don't know exactly what to call it; rude awakening or shocker of my life!! I stumbled on photocopies of my husband's pension's scheme form, Life Insurance form and will.

As I went through the forms, I saw that my I am not my husband's next of Kin or beneficiary!! His younger brother is!! It hurts to realise that for a house that Ђåvε̲ made more than 60percent contribution to, per adventure something happens tomorrow, I will be left at the mercy of my brother in laws!!!

I haven't confronted him yet because I don't know how to. But I intend starting a secret saving account for myself because as at now, he access to all my bank accounts. I have also decided to stop contributing a dime to the house because I don't Ђåvε̲ any stake in it!

Are my thoughts in order? Please I need suggestions...what do I do? Married men why on earth would your wife not be your next of kin?

why would any sensible man make his wife next of kin,When he has sons/children?

What a pity!

BritneyStacy:
Don't know exactly what to call it; rude awakening or shocker of my life!! I stumbled on photocopies of my husband's pension's scheme form, Life Insurance form and will.

As I went through the forms, I saw that my I am not my husband's next of Kin or beneficiary!! His younger brother is!! It hurts to realise that for a house that Ђåvε̲ made more than 60percent contribution to, per adventure something happens tomorrow, I will be left at the mercy of my brother in laws!!!

I haven't confronted him yet because I don't know how to. But I intend starting a secret saving account for myself because as at now, he access to all my bank accounts. I have also decided to stop contributing a dime to the house because I don't Ђåvε̲ any stake in it!

Are my thoughts in order? Please I need suggestions...what do I do? Married men why on earth would your wife not be your next of kin?

Probably you guys just got married without kids yet or with kids,but the children are still at tender age...He wants to have at least a grown up children before he can be so sure that he has a family that can take care of things while he is gone.

And besides,if he is no more (God forbid) now,he fears you might get married again to another man & move all his wealth to another family,so he wants to get to a point where in case if he isn't around no more,that you wouldn't be able to get married again...So don't bother about that cos itz normal act of most men #YourHusbandLovesYou

Pray if you are a christian, then talk to your husband

GboyegaD:
Two wrongs don't make a right. Talk to him and listen to his explanations add that will guide your decision. It is possible his explanations will open greater sockets. Just try to be calm do that you can pick ask necessary details.

@OP You are on your own, you better start your own secret life savings, after some men will open their mouth and call women Gold diggers

And so?