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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! (42038 Views)
As A Husband, Or Wife, Who Will You Make Your Next Of Kin / Why You Should Be Careful In Choosing Your Next Of Kin (Photos) / My Brother In Law (sister's Husby) Is Becoming Too Rude For My Liking... (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 10:12am On Mar 18, 2015 |
firstEVA:It is not compulsory, but the ladies arent make it easy for us. 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 10:13am On Mar 18, 2015 |
NemzySeries:there is no where in a marriage will and agreement where it says one has to put his spouse as the next of kin.as you said no be everybody read book, even if she has her name as next of kin the village man go gree? 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Elsquidme(m): 10:13am On Mar 18, 2015 |
BritneyStacy:your Children suppose be the next of kin not you or his brother lecture him before is too late. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by otr1(m): 10:14am On Mar 18, 2015 |
I intend starting a secret saving account for myself because as at now, he access to all my bank accounts. I have also decided to stop contributing a dime to the house because I don't Ђåvε̲ any stake in it!You have the answer to your question already. But please, on no condition should you ask him about. Na beg I dey beg you. I believe the date on the form preceed your marriage and you haven't told us if you have any issue yet. I believe he will make amend at the appropriate time. But if you doubt me, just talk to him about it. This is an advice I can give to my sister. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by kendrick9(m): 10:15am On Mar 18, 2015 |
tete7000:fair enough. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Marineremmanson(m): 10:16am On Mar 18, 2015 |
BritneyStacy:if I am to choose my next of kin, I think I will choose my Junior ones if I am not married or my children if I am married but as for my will I will include my wife. u can't be his next of kin and also the one in his will. Just know it like that k. but u still gat to have a heart to heart talk with him k |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Uncletony(m): 10:19am On Mar 18, 2015 |
In igboland , we dnt judge any case until we hear from both parties involved. Oya tell u husband to tell NL his own view b4 i mek my final decision 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by XBLadez: 10:21am On Mar 18, 2015 |
You stumbled on it abi? Something is telling me that if your name had been on the will you'd kill your husband before his time; afterall you don't have a child for him yet. Desperate women! |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 10:22am On Mar 18, 2015 |
BritneyStacy: Kill him and his younger brother. Cook for them and poison it. That way you have all the inheritance ![]() |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by brize(m): 10:24am On Mar 18, 2015 |
NIGERIAN MEN BE LIKE: . . . . MEN: why do you insist in being my next of kin? . WOMEN: so that i will be the one to be trusted of all our properties incase SOMETHING happens . MEN: what!!! SOMETHING happens?, So you want to kill me so that you will take all my properties abi? (which properties? Maybe they are living in a rented/shared flat) Continuuuu 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by justi4jesu(f): 10:25am On Mar 18, 2015 |
fonzie2u: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by biodemetrik: 10:25am On Mar 18, 2015 |
Trust between you couples is infinitesimal. Check out what you have done to him. And don't give up. 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Totfulguy: 10:26am On Mar 18, 2015 |
BritneyStacy: Britney, I am married and my wife is my next of kin. However, there are reason why some men make their brothers their next of kin and, in some instances this is excusable. Below are possible scenarios where a man would make his brother a next of kin. 1. Tradition: In our part of the (I assume your husband is from the southwest, southeast, south-south of Nigeria) tradition its is expected that the man's interest will best be protected by a member of the family. It is also assumed that the brother is the closest part of the nuclear family and is therefore in the best position to keep the "family name" in the event of the demise of the brother. This is actually a baseless tradition. 2. Circumstances: If you have the luck (or a lack of it) of marrying a treacherous woman, who does not share true family ideals and who does appreciate the value of working as a team with you, you will most like not want to have her as next of kin. It can also be vice versa. 3. Friends: It is also possible that your the company a man keeps could influence his attitude and posture when it comes to who his next of kin would be. He may be getting insinuations from friends who are advising him wrongly. It is unfortunate, that some of us allow others to tell us about the ones we should know better. My suggestion: My take on this is that you need to thread cautiously. A lot is involved in this situation that you should weigh carefully before taking the decision to confront him or hold your own. I know that a lot will be running through your mind at this point-you may be thinking of your children (if any), yourself and tomorrow. But I will advise that you try to hold your own. It will be easy if you have a means of earning an income. Three things are clear... 1.There is a need for you keep your marriage safe and sane (If the conditions are right and there is no threat to life or livelihood) 2.There is need for you to keep something aside for your future. Actually even if you were your husbands next of kin, you would still need to keep something aside for yourself and kids because life itself is uncertain. I encourage my wife to do the same and I do not pry into her income or savings...that is her privacy. 3.It will matter how you handle the situation as it will affect your relationship with your husband. Again, you have to thread carefully. There is a lot on my mind and I could talk more if I were to speak one-on-one with you. I WISH YOU THE BEST! 5 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by femi4: 10:26am On Mar 18, 2015 |
BritneyStacy:Madam try and get a personal account even if you are the next of kin. Its a way of rewarding yourself for your labour |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Vision4God: 10:28am On Mar 18, 2015 |
@BritneyStacy Its a serious matter, how is ur rship wt ur husband? Do u hv access to evrytn (phone,ATMs,...),if u dont, den I think u hv 2 bgin serious prayer & dscusns. Let d lord help u |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by monex(m): 10:29am On Mar 18, 2015 |
BritneyStacy: were those docs drawn up while he was still single. a lot of peeps use siblings as next of kin while single and forget to change it (to wife or kids) when married. My company reminds us about this and its consequence. Note that it is the same with Nigerian women who use siblings as next of kin while single and forget to change it (to hubby or kids) when married. 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by LaRoyalHighness(f): 10:29am On Mar 18, 2015 |
What of people like me that don't know my status? I have never thought of this ooo! Smh@husband. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by femi4: 10:29am On Mar 18, 2015 |
Dyt:There is nothing wrong in living all her life for a man...."All men are not the same" |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Dyt(f): 10:30am On Mar 18, 2015 |
femi4: Yimu Wontu tele mi debi ![]() ![]() |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by einsteino(m): 10:31am On Mar 18, 2015 |
wait so you mean to tell me that just a year after your marriage you want to be next of kin? am starting to believe you married him for his money. sweety marrying someone isn't an automatic ticket to being next of kin, it is a matter of choice! just the same way he can will everything to someone else. would it be out of place if a husband isnt his wife's next of kin? the answer is no! lastly the sooner you learn that marriage works better when you keep your issues in house, the better for you. except you are suffering from ASD(Attention Seeking Disorder) i got the below post from your thread of last year https://www.nairaland.com/1838365/suggestions-new-marriage BritneyStacy: |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by femi4: 10:32am On Mar 18, 2015 |
Dyt:Igba wo le join egbe "ki loko o se?" 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Dyt(f): 10:34am On Mar 18, 2015 |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by oluwaisaac(m): 10:35am On Mar 18, 2015 |
Dyt:Oh Dyt, I fear for whomever marries you...are you a victim of some man's maltreatment? I've never read any constructive advice from you in such situations. May God work on your psyche! |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by nedu2000(m): 10:35am On Mar 18, 2015 |
Justfollowit:'Nigerian' woman.........and pls never play the 'discrimination against women' card,you only gather pity but never respect. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by dammytosh: 10:36am On Mar 18, 2015 |
BritneyStacy: Dear Ops, Next of kin is just an Administrator. Try to confirm main beneficiary. Do you have kids ? It is possible that he has done that before you guys married. The pension for instance. Please revert. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by peedeeasobie(m): 10:36am On Mar 18, 2015 |
If you listen to most single ladies here and their advises, you will ruin your home. Talk and discuss with your husband. Don't let any unhappy Lady make you unhappy in your home through their dirty suggestions. 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by saasala(m): 10:37am On Mar 18, 2015 |
jasper7: Wow, king Solomon of ancient Hebrews is not dead 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Janedoe26(f): 10:37am On Mar 18, 2015 |
Having read the entire post (yes! I took my time and read every single comment), I have a new prayer point "God please I don't want a husband with a poor mentality". If you die as a Man and your wife re marries. So what? Often times, most women never re marry but Men do and hell its ok. Secondly, I can deduce that many people marry for the wrong reasons - if you do not trust your wife, or love your wife why marry her in the first place? If she changes after marriage y remain with her? Thirdly, did u come to this life to fend for your siblings. If your wife is not important enough for you to entrust your wealth y did u marry her? I mean, unlike your brother, you had a choice and you picked her. That should count for something. Assuming like she said she contributed to the House even if its 10% (for those who can't fathom that a woman can contribute more than a man) isn't she entitled to some benefit? Even if she has no issue...if the man dies, won't he like his wife to have something from him after all, aren't they supposed to be one? Marriage is not by force. If you can't find someone to trust and love, forget it. The only justification for me is if those forms and will were made before marriage. 11 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by dhabeautyjas(f): 10:37am On Mar 18, 2015 |
ITbomb:Excuse me, must it be a son, what if he has a daughter? doesn't a daughter have a right to her father's property. the question should be Do you have a child? BritneyStacy, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, its well. this has 2 sides to it. 1. you are a supportive wife with lots of moral value, then he is wrong. Most of our men these days believe their siblings are their immediate family, I don't know why, but if this is the case abeg, start saving for your self and ur kids if you have any. try talking to him but if he an egoistic man, your talk cant do a thing, once such men make up their mind, there is nothing anyone can do. when did you guys get married? if its not long, then maybe he is yet to change it from before marriage 2. you feel you are supportive but you are too extravagant, then he is doing what he feels is the best for his kids (that is if he and his brother wee brought up with so much love. so where you belong will determine how you will handle it. 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Mavor: 10:38am On Mar 18, 2015 |
Do you have a child for the man? |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by buoye1(m): 10:38am On Mar 18, 2015 |
kenonze:I disagree with the crossed statement...Sir, She is working I guess...by the way how can she be saving from her husband's salary?? |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Dyt(f): 10:38am On Mar 18, 2015 |
oluwaisaac: Picks teeth Licks finger, open Ur mouth let me put it I haven't said nothing bad have I? I only said she shld save Oga oo, so she shld give him all her money abi? Sorry to say I but u sound like a lazy man ![]() ![]() Oya abuse me 1 Like |
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