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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! (42240 Views)
As A Husband, Or Wife, Who Will You Make Your Next Of Kin / Why You Should Be Careful In Choosing Your Next Of Kin (Photos) / My Brother In Law (sister's Husby) Is Becoming Too Rude For My Liking... (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:12pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Sophyrocks:yea im ok, wats wrong im i nt gud 4 u? |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:15pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
nedu2000: If her husband finds her untrustworthy there are many ways he could deal with her. However this scenario is different. You and I know that most ‘modern' Nigerian women would rather buy their own properties than contribute to the home. But according to her she didn't follow the trend. She felt secure enough to contribute to the cost and she also did not demand he include her name as the other legal owner, based on that I would say she is a good woman. I wouldn't want her to involve the court. It is obvious that the issue of trust is not mutual. That is an incentive for her to be cautious of what she does with her money. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by ethylene: 3:16pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
justi4jesu:Or else wetin.....? This one Wey ur bodi don they hot!!! I no tell u say dat drug no good? Take this one kool body As for the soap abeg I go need am
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Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:17pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
softapple: Imagine! |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by justi4jesu(f): 3:18pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
ethylene: I don't smoke, wrong choice |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:19pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Sophyrocks:on d contrary im young n energytic n its an advantage to u sexually, pls gv me a chance. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by ethylene: 3:20pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
justi4jesu:The soap then |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:21pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
softapple: I weep for nigerian ladies. 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by BritneyStacy: 3:24pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
This is a follow up to my earlier post this morning. I want to shed some light and possibly answere some questions raised by some Nairalanders.. We don't Ђåvε̲ a child yet because my husband insited he is not ready for one yet. That he needs time to setup this particular business and getting a baby would distract him sort of. I differed greatly from that.mbut he isnsited that he I get pregnant when he is not ready I should be ready to cater for it alone till he is ready. I had to yeild n register for family planning. Now I am thinking of deliberately getting pregnant and telling him it was a mistake so as to secure my place in the marriage. Unfortunately,I gave him almost al my savings to start the business which am yet to understand what form its taking till now. Secondly, when I said I contributed to about 60percent to what is in our home now, am not making a mistake. I met him just 1year after he started working. He had barely nothing in his apartment as he just startewd working na and that is quite understandable. We Ђåvε̲ been dating since then till we finally got married.. Since we started dating, I Ђåvε̲ been supporting him! I'll cite just an instance-when he bought a car , the car dealer got something costlier than his budget. I gave him 200k then to balance the payment. That was before we married. There are many other instances ike that. I wouldn't mention them because I did it for us and I believ in "us" but now it feels am alone in such thoughts. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:24pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Sophyrocks:ha ha ha ha ha ha ha are u nt a Nigerian? pls i promise to make u hapi |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by cococandy(f): 3:28pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Billyonaire: So if she doesn't make a baby, her contributions to their assets go to his brother? I don't understand some men. He should have done everything by himself now. 7 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:28pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
softapple: SMH. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:30pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
BritneyStacy: You're welcome Madam. I wish you all the best, as you seek to address the issue. However, here's a quick piece of advice: "Talk to your husband, but do not accuse. Listen to understand whatever he has to say, but not just to reply. Ensure there's proper communication, not just confrontation" Try not to put him on the defensive. 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:36pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Sophyrocks:cant u see that im in love with u? |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:37pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
BritneyStacy: You gave him all your savings ke? And you are yet to know what has come out of it? are you kidding me? madam, did you force this man to marry you? Na wa for you o. You practically lived your life for this man. Look at how you were just spending anyhow as if tomorrow no dey instead of you to sit back and watch this man first if he would be worth all these. You have gotten advice from some well meanings peeps here. Never make the mistake of getting pregnant to achieve an aim. I repeat, NEVER GET PREGNANT TO ACHIEVE AN AIM!! Your husband said you will be responsible over that child alone and he meant it!! You better listen and focus on making your own savings!! We women no dey hear word. Listen to advice. 2 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:39pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
softapple: Hehehehehe. what a shame. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by oyibo4real: 3:40pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
@BritneyStacy, i rilly feel 4 u. I still think u need 2 sit up, 2 avoid stories dat touch. I'm gettin anoda picture frm ds whole thing( though i might b wrong). I think ur hubby is using u 2 build himself up wealth-wise, after wch he'll look 4 one story 2 kick u out. Some men can go dat length, if not, i dnt undastand his reason 4 nt wantin u 2 get pregnant 4 him, of course i dnt buy dat biz crap reason he's givin. B4 u get d 'real' pregnant, jst try n fake it first, 2 knw wT his reaction wil be. 6 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:41pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Sophyrocks:u tink im joking? im dead serious, i hav fallen 4 u. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by coderXO(m): 3:49pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Sophyrocks: I hope you are cream of the crop marriage material yourself how you have finished assessing other people's marriages to be hell on earth. You keep talking about what I see around me. Are you sitting right next to me to see what I see? I don't know where you live you or who lives around you. But if that is what you see around you, I suggest you move to a new environment since it has given you this impression of what marriage is, lest it be your own eventual fate. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:50pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Justfollowit: This is not a matter of 'rights' or 'privileges' it's a matter of understanding between a couple. I wouldn't crucify her, whatever she does, but there are steps she shouldn't take, if she wants to continue in a happy marriage. Her husband not choosing her as his next-of-kin might not be intended to slight her, but may just be as a result of thoughtlessness on his part. Simple communication can resolve the issue amicably. 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:52pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
oyibo4real: You are seeing what im seeing abi? Its gradually looking like a case of using a woman to enrich oneself. Thats why i was asking her if she coerced him to marry her with the way she kept spending on him frm day one. 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:53pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
TheRainmaker1: Thoughtlessness indeed! Tell me something else please 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by coderXO(m): 3:53pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
oyibo4real: Shiite, my dear. Don't let these clowns here scare you or push to do or think stupid things. Imagine what this one is saying? He/she has assessed your situation already and has seen your husbands intentions. Mtschew. Be careful. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:53pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
coderXO: No need to argue. No need for epistles. The comments in this thread are enough for you to know. Ciao! |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 3:56pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
cococandy:What contribution are we talking about here. She has been married for 1 yr and 4 months. What has she really contributed that's worth more than her husband family has been doing for over 30yrs ? Most women consider men sole providers of bread and butter and homes but save their incomes for their cravings and each time they add a coin for rent, they drum home the music of how much they have contributed to the soup of life. 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by coderXO(m): 4:02pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Sophyrocks: Yes sure Nairaland is the perfect place to get the beat on wisdom and morals. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by cococandy(f): 4:02pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
As in eh. Some people mental alignment No be for here o. As if His brother won't get married and have his own wife benefiting from a wealth the late man and his wife made together. Leaving his kids distraught and at the mercy of the brother and wife. A fool works for 15yrs and maybe unfortunately dies, his brother is given headway to swoop in and take charge of the family estate. And in his dead mind, he was a wise sharp man . His brother's kids go to good schools and the brother's wife rides around in the lastest cars while his own kids have to wait for the approval of the brother before they can get what their father and mother worked for. In many cases these wives contributed to the wealth too but don't have their names in the deeds because they didn't want to seem as if they are tying to be 'equal' to their husbands. Well. Sophyrocks: 8 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 4:02pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Imanuelle: What if she is the bread winner and instead if asking her husband to include her name on everything, she assumes that he would do right by her. Now he hasn't done what is right, I don't see anything wrong if she claims to be entitled to everything he also has. Stop trying to make her sound arrogant. If she indeed contributed 60% it is common sense that she should be allowed to enjoy what she had laboured for the sake of marriage. 9 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 4:02pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
cococandy: Seriously, the comments here will harden women the more to not contribute a dime in their marriages. It seems contributing to a marriage has now become a crime. why will i contribute a lot to a marriage yet i am not made a beneficiary? 7 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by cococandy(f): 4:06pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Billyonaire: What makes you think he had anything before the marriage? @bold is a fallacy. Nigeria has one of the highest population of bread winning and co-breadwinner wives and mothers world over. Pls save the nairaland fallacies for those who don't observe their environment. Such bold faced porkies. 7 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 4:08pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
cococandy: Is that not why you see women having seperate secret accounts and building projects? The same peeps here complain of women not contributing. Now a woman contributes yet she has committed a crime still. Seriously? Is that fair? 3 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by coderXO(m): 4:09pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
All you women out there talking shiite, I hope you submit half of your salary to home affairs to be entitled to everything that is acquired in the home. OP has stated clearly that she does. I want to know how many of you pay half the rent when it is due, or put up half the money to buy a car or put up half to buy the land. Mtschew. Bullocks! |
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