^ NIce response. I like how you are always so calm in your responses. Kudos to u :-)

Its a normal occurrence in Lagos

What the Eff? You love a woman, she doesn't love you back. You didn't cheat on her yet she keeps riding on a fam friends dick.

Damn, this kind of wife can kill you or poison you or harm you in order to continue her wayward act.

Some are saying, you should ask God to give you heart of forgiveness or something like that. If this same stuff should happen to them, I'm sure they will surely kick or murder the party involved.

I'm sure you want the best for yourself, and you want to live a peaceful life? Kindly, let her go!! Don't keep her, she doesn't deserve you. Life goes on.

Go for DNA test, if the kid is yours, please take care of the kid. Don't allow the kid to stay with her for too long because she might pass that act to her when she grow up.

Don't kill yourself over this. I feel your pain @OP. So sorry about this.

*Semuhle*Baby*:
^ NIce response. I like how you are always so calm in your responses. Kudos to u :-)

Howdy how is C-town
I hope to be there soon for shark diving end of years though
Hope you are doing good

On the response, I have my moments when i enter aggro mode

Sorry Op, My advise is do not divorce her, but you need to seperate for a while from her, inform her immediate family.
Be closer to God, make contact with your baby once in a while.
Find in your heart to forgive her.
Study her from afar.
Even if you can trail her 3months after the seperation to see if she's seeing someone else, cos if she is , means she's not repentant.
Mind you, it wasnt a mistake, they were just caught, they were enjoying it.
Its a pity you have to go through the whole pain, but u need a break from her for some time.
if you see you misses her and you've gotten over urself you can mend ways.
i know you're trying to cover her shame and affecting your extended family but she needs to realise her bad ways, that the only way you will come to forgive her.
Divorce is not worth it. definitely there's something in you she doesn't like that she didn't discuss, instead, made up with the guy. and some women are weak.
So try and talk to her very well, and seek ur seperation pending the time you get ur self back.
good luck

*Semuhle*Baby*:
^ NIce response. I like how you are always so calm in your responses. Kudos to u :-)

you two should get married. peaceful home, i see.

fonzie2u: all said and done. Have you asked yourself whats making her have an affair. well greed or nympho u would say,but ur tone sounds like a self centred person.
why is she having sex with him(money,,arriage,or job)u never stated. u sound like a perfectionist who doesnt tolerate mistakes.
OR r you get up from her once u had ur fill without knowin if shes fulfilled. women love men who can explore them,u never mentioned anything romantic or exciting that you do for her
i dont support infidelity @ all,but work on urself too.uv got attitude issues.

Do you honestly think I will come here and rant about how I sleep with my wife? Thats childish. Also note that we are comfortable so it has nothing to do with money. In summary, thanks anyway but no thanks.

biolabee:

Thanks.. more importantly shame for the guy...
its just words though but not surprised at his uncouthedness

Jee taa ncha lol

Those advising the OP to seek the face of God are hypocrites and I'm aren't surprised most of these group of people are females!!!..

OP if you are a christian, God specifically gave condition for a divorce in the bible and that condition is Adultery!!!!! You wife committed Adultery and bad enough, this has affected your psyche and emotional balance. Divorce her and start your life afresh. She should approach God for forgiveness and leave you out of her matter with God.

If you decide to go ahead and manage things, then you have no one to blame.

Remain blessed

kike100: It hurts beyond words, true! I urge to ask God for grace to forgive your wife, am sure. Still love her.
Also talk with her outside your house to understand reasons for her decision ok?
I pray for divine wisdom for u.

cnt u read.he said he dnt luv her

Some women sha...HOEly Bitches!

Let her go, with her baby, warts and all. And trust God to replace her with a woman who will truly love you.
Don't revenge.
Just let her go where her lust leads her.

Keeping her is dangerous and believe me those who cheat on others can harm or even kill them to continue their evil sex life.
You may also harm or kill her in rage of jealousy and revenge.

Just let her go before it is too late.

O'LORD FORGIVE ME...

how did you know?

Orikinla: Let her go, with her baby, warts and all. And trust God to replace her with a woman who will truly love you.
Don't revenge.
Just let her go where her lust leads her.

Keeping her is dangerous and believe me those who cheat on others can harm or even kill them to continue their evil sex life.
You may also harm or kill her in rage of jealousy and revenge.

Just let her go before it is too late.

johnny handsom:

Jee taa ncha lol

dude,,,not cool
if everyone behaved like you, we would back in the days of babel

, pls anyone in the house can you translate what this is

Hmmm, Adultery,Adultery,Adultery. I am so so confused here.

I am equally married but separated from my wife at the moment. Reason? Incompatibility as she Claimed but i simply told her she is carried away by another man which she denied vehemently and presently staying with here sis.

Though i don't know whether she is seeing another man at the moment but the mare taught of her with another man drives me crazy so i can imagine your case knowing that the act really happened.O gosh.

Asking you to forgive her seems ok but you definitely can't forget. Each time you touch her, kiss her and make love to her the flashes must come no doubt. I really feel for you and i believe GOD will help you in making your decision.

But whatever happens, Love forgives all things.

derbypiero: O'LORD FORGIVE ME...

Them don dey confess small small. Who did u bone? Your wife's sister?

WhyMe222: We have talked about joint custody if the marriage finally collapses which is very likely. I agree my little girl will be better off with her mum. But the thought of her not growing up under my watch is killing me. I love her to bits and wanna enjoy her stages of growth. But this I am going to miss. It's killing me.

Wake up this man. Are u the one who cheated? So why would u want to allow ur baby girl to be taken from you? That same colleague whom ur wife slept with will come and be her second father? Dafuq!!!!!

Thanks everyone for your contributions. You have all spoken well. I love my wife and I love my daughter silly. I leave no stone unturned in taking care of my family cos that is the only reason I go out daily (To provide for them). Her friends are a testimony to my capability in taking care of her. Her colleagues in both her former work place and the present one all appreciate for her what she has in terms of her marriage and husband. So there is no gain saying I may not have been leaving up to my expectations as a hubby.

In the last 8 months I have tried to heal, I have tried to see how we can work around it, I have also tried living like it never happened. In all this, none seem to be working. I loved my wife and that is why I have made all these efforts but the torture I live through will never go away and for this singular reason I feel there is no need going on like this. At the moment, I am only tolerating her and that is not good for marriage; reason I said marriage is not meant to be endured. Can there ever be a time I will not remember the incident? Can there ever be a time I will laugh it off and not hurt instead? The sex is dead; No urge because she repulses me and there is no way I will think of S£X with her without remembering what they did. So how can one live in this manner?

God help me.

OP Let me give you a true advice.

I am a married man, i met my wife when she was 19, made her a woman, at 25 i married her now at 30 she says she is disconnected from me because of incompatibility issues and i kept wondering if i have been pretending all thee years so i sternly told her that she is simply carried away and that whenever her brain settles she can come back home provided she has not defiled herself with another man. For about 4 months now she has been staying with her sis.

Now get this straight, even if she sleeps with another man and she realizes her mistakes and comes back to me, i will forgive her and move on like nothing ever happened. You know why?

What is the guarantee that the next lady i will marry will not do worse things? and what is the assurance that the new lady have not slept with the whole men in Nigeria.

Wake up man, she is your wife. the question you should ask yourself is:

1. Is she a good wife to you?
2. Has he always made you happy?
3. Is she worth forgiving considering what you guys have been through together?
4, Is she genuinely repentant?

If all these answers are positive abeg forgive her if she is sincerely sorry.


See, the only difference between a man and a woman are the genitals and some hormones, they can also get carried away like we men and i believe if it was you who defiled the marriage bed you will ask her to forgive you abi? Abeg forgive your wife and pray to GOD to help you mend your broken heart.

I have been married for 6 years now so my advice is worth considering.

You shouldn't have confronted them. You should have let her die by stomach disorder or road accident.

Toks2008: OP Let me give you a true advice.

I am a married man, i met my wife when she was 19, made her a woman, at 25 i married her now at 30 she says she is disconnected from me because of incompatibility issues and i kept wondering if i have been pretending all thee years so i sternly told her that she is simply carried away and that whenever her brain settles she can come back home provided she has not defiled herself with another man. For about 4 months now she has been staying with her sis.

Now get this straight, even if she sleeps with another man and she realizes her mistakes and comes back to me, i will forgive her and move on like nothing ever happened. You know why?

What is the guarantee that the next lady i will marry will not do worse things? and what is the assurance that the new lady have not slept with the whole men in Nigeria.

Wake up man, she is your wife. the question you should ask yourself is:

1. Is she a good wife to you?
2. Has he always made you happy?
3. Is she worth forgiving considering what you guys have been through together?

If all these answers are positive abeg forgive her if she is sincerely sorry.


See, the only difference between a man and a woman are the genitals and some hormones, they can also get carried away like we men and i believe if it was you who defiled the marriage bed you will ask her to forgive you abi? Abeg forgive your wife and pray to GOD to help you mend your broken heart.

I have been married for 6 years now so my advice is worth considering.

you are a great man and you will be in my prayers this night.may God heal your family too.so many forces fighting marriages these days.

Speechless..op ave u seek for Gods direction if u avent try to cos is the only solution don't make decisions dat u will regret later..wat of if u divorce her and remarry and the new wife becomes worse than her will u stil divorce her? So think twice forgive her and amenD ur home...goodluck

Give her the impression you've forgiven her, then cut off one of her breasts while in bed.

What? You mean some women don't agree with me? I hope they are not the same women who were cheering in Lorena Bobbitt's corner.

Toks2008: OP Let me give you a true advice.

I am a married man, i met my wife when she was 19, made her a woman, at 25 i married her now at 30 she says she is disconnected from me because of incompatibility issues and i kept wondering if i have been pretending all thee years so i sternly told her that she is simply carried away and that whenever her brain settles she can come back home provided she has not defiled herself with another man. For about 4 months now she has been staying with her sis.

Now get this straight, even if she sleeps with another man and she realizes her mistakes and comes back to me, i will forgive her and move on like nothing ever happened. You know why?

What is the guarantee that the next lady i will marry will not do worse things? and what is the assurance that the new lady have not slept with the whole men in Nigeria.

Wake up man, she is your wife. the question you should ask yourself is:

1. Is she a good wife to you?
2. Has he always made you happy?
3. Is she worth forgiving considering what you guys have been through together?
4, Is she genuinely repentant?

If all these answers are positive abeg forgive her if she is sincerely sorry.


See, the only difference between a man and a woman are the genitals and some hormones, they can also get carried away like we men and i believe if it was you who defiled the marriage bed you will ask her to forgive you abi? Abeg forgive your wife and pray to GOD to help you mend your broken heart.

I have been married for 6 years now so my advice is worth considering.

I"m sorry but i dont understand some men. Instead of sending her away, could you not perhaps listen to her and see what she is feeling? What if she decides not to come back? Hmmm

WhyMe222: Thanks everyone for your contributions. You have all spoken well. I love my wife and I love my daughter silly. I leave no stone unturned in taking care of my family cos that is the only reason I go out daily (To provide for them). Her friends are a testimony to my capability in taking care of her. Her colleagues in both her former work place and the present one all appreciate for her what she has in terms of her marriage and husband. So there is no gain saying I may not have been leaving up to my expectations as a hubby.

In the last 8 months I have tried to heal, I have tried to see how we can work around it, I have also tried living like it never happened. In all this, none seem to be working. I loved my wife and that is why I have made all these efforts but the torture I live through will never go away and for this singular reason I feel there is no need going on like this. At the moment, I am only tolerating her and that is not good for marriage; reason I said marriage is not meant to be endured. Can there ever be a time I will not remember the incident? Can there ever be a time I will laugh it off and not hurt instead? The sex is dead; No urge because she repulses me and there is no way I will think of S£X with her without remembering what they did. So how can one live in this manner?

God help me.

There is really no need for the pity-partying. If u know deep down that u can't get past this betrayal, just seek for divorce. I've even heard of some couples that the two-year pre divorce seperation helped get through their challenges and they got back together.

I'm sure u've thought things through within these 8months and have carefully planned your strategy. There isn't any advice here that will make u change your mind. So please, go ahead.

Best of luck. U are sure gonna need loads of it.

devour129: you are a great man and you will be in my prayers this night.may God heal your family too.so many forces fighting marriages these days.

I really need your prayers o. To think that as a believer i have remained faithful to her right from the day i met her in 2002 till date,these 4 months have been hell,and everyday i doubt if i will not fall into temptation, but its the fear of GOD that have been keeping me.

I cant imagine myself wooing another lady just to get intimate with her when my heart is with another lady. I really need you to pray that she comes back home before a colossal damage occurs because once i start seeing another lady, i may not find it easy to break the lady's heart because my stubborn wife is back.That will be the height of foolishness hence i become polygamous against my wish. GOD help me.

Thanks

WhyMe222: Thanks everyone for your contributions. You have all spoken well. I love my wife and I love my daughter silly. I leave no stone unturned in taking care of my family cos that is the only reason I go out daily (To provide for them). Her friends are a testimony to my capability in taking care of her. Her colleagues in both her former work place and the present one all appreciate for her what she has in terms of her marriage and husband. So there is no gain saying I may not have been leaving up to my expectations as a hubby.

In the last 8 months I have tried to heal, I have tried to see how we can work around it, I have also tried living like it never happened. In all this, none seem to be working. I loved my wife and that is why I have made all these efforts but the torture I live through will never go away and for this singular reason I feel there is no need going on like this. At the moment, I am only tolerating her and that is not good for marriage; reason I said marriage is not meant to be endured. Can there ever be a time I will not remember the incident? Can there ever be a time I will laugh it off and not hurt instead? The sex is dead; No urge because she repulses me and there is no way I will think of S£X with her without remembering what they did. So how can one live in this manner?

God help me.

here we go again !that statement provide for them is what makes men put there marriages on the line for the devil to come and destroy . It's not all about providing shelter ,food, money etc .how much time do you spend with your family ? How many nights a week do you spend out ? Do you know when your wife buys new undies or do you buy it yourself ? Do you know when she changes her hair style ? Intact how much do you know about your wife both personally and intimately ? If you knew half of these you could have know when she was about falling and nipped it at the bud.check yourself least you divorce this one and marry anoda and make the same mistake all over again.its not always about money dear,may God heal your broken heart

@op. I honestly feel your pains. Your hurt. Your silent cries. I just can't imagine that happening to me and that's why I pray everyday for this not to happen not even the strength to walk through in case it happens. Especially when you're the faithful.

Then I still want to ask....did you notice either before or after marriage of any suspected form of infidelity?

Left for me, I wouldn't want to divorce or separate from my wife especially when there's an innocent soul in between. No..that child will not suffer for someone's irresponsibility. Maybe by then, I'll find a remedy. Left for me, I'll take a break from her, take that space but because of the child, it would be difficult or even impossible.

Thanks for sharing your experience

Really learning a lot

Toks2008: Hmmm, Adultery,Adultery,Adultery. I am so so confused here.

I am equally married but separated from my wife at the moment. Reason? Incompatibility as she Claimed but i simply told her she is carried away by another man which she denied vehemently and presently staying with here sis.

Though i don't know whether she is seeing another man at the moment but the mare taught of her with another man drives me crazy so i can imagine your case knowing that the act really happened.O gosh.

Asking you to forgive her seems ok but you definitely can't forget. Each time you touch her, kiss her and make love to her the flashes must come no doubt. I really feel for you and i believe GOD will help you in making your decision.

But whatever happens, Love forgives all things.

---

Toks2008: OP Let me give you a true advice.

I am a married man, i met my wife when she was 19, made her a woman, at 25 i married her now at 30 she says she is disconnected from me because of incompatibility issues and i kept wondering if i have been pretending all thee years so i sternly told her that she is simply carried away and that whenever her brain settles she can come back home provided she has not defiled herself with another man. For about 4 months now she has been staying with her sis.

Now get this straight, even if she sleeps with another man and she realizes her mistakes and comes back to me, i will forgive her and move on like nothing ever happened. You know why?

What is the guarantee that the next lady i will marry will not do worse things? and what is the assurance that the new lady have not slept with the whole men in Nigeria.

Wake up man, she is your wife. the question you should ask yourself is:

1. Is she a good wife to you?
2. Has he always made you happy?
3. Is she worth forgiving considering what you guys have been through together?
4, Is she genuinely repentant?

If all these answers are positive abeg forgive her if she is sincerely sorry.


See, the only difference between a man and a woman are the genitals and some hormones, they can also get carried away like we men and i believe if it was you who defiled the marriage bed you will ask her to forgive you abi? Abeg forgive your wife and pray to GOD to help you mend your broken heart.

I have been married for 6 years now so my advice is worth considering.

Toks2008:

I really need your prayers o. To think that as a believer i have remained faithful to her right from the day i met her in 2002 till date,these 4 months have been hell,and everyday i doubt if i will not fall into temptation, but its the fear of GOD that have been keeping me.

I cant imagine myself wooing another lady just to get intimate with her when my heart is with another lady. I really need you to pray that she comes back home before a colossal damage occurs.

Thanks

Gawd! Are u real? Mehn! I BOw! Rare gem.

bettymafy:

There is really no need for the pity-partying. If u know deep down that u can't get past this betrayal, just seek for divorce. I've even heard of some couples that the two-year pre divorce seperation helped get through their challenges and they got back together.

I'm sure u've thought things through within these 8months and have carefully planned your strategy. There isn't any advice here that will make u change your mind. So please, go ahead.

Best of luck. U are sure gonna need loads of it.

Why don't you calm down and stop hassling the man

This is part of his therapy and let him take his time

And you will accuse men of not opening up their feelings
When they do you call them pitiful

OP carry GOOOO
Na wa

Idowuogbo:
Gawd! Are u real? Mehn! I BOw! Rare gem.

Even me sef i bow.. i no know if i fit ooo