I need help in communicating
Donno where to post this, but I believe that folks in the family section are mature and experienced and could help


I have never been shy of talking when a subject excites me
In fact I love lecturing/speaking

My challenge is that recently, I have come to realise that I am usually short of words when explaining issues
I feel that this might be making me look unitelligent

The reason for this challenge is that I am begining to know/learn more and more broad and diverse subject matters
I am therefore faced with an issue of multiple vocabulary/jargons associated with such diverse range of subject matters
Also my brain is always spinning with analysis, measuring issues, identifying risks, oppurtunities, gaps etc

So when I stand to talk, i find myself grappling with the challenge of sorting and sifting through huge repositories for the right words to best articulate my point
I find it easier to write (maybe because I can fire away and come back to think through and edit)
I hate talking slow, and dont want to end up with the slow slurred commuincation associated with some Nigerian big men


As anyone gone through this challenge before? How did you overcome it?
I really need help, I do not want this present communication challenge to propel me towards being an introvert

Thanks

Are you referring to verbal communication? Cos you write very well, at least here on NL.

If it is verbal communication, the frames of reference have to be defined. The way you communicate in workplace or business situations differs from the way you communicate in social and informal settings.

There is a plethora of text and training available for improving communication skills. I would however recommend a timeless classic: Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People. Fantastic read

Also, you should read a lot more classic literature (prose and poetry) if you want to learn language skills and how to use words in a clever manner. There is more than a thousand years' worth of that floating around, From Chaucer to Shakespeare, Pope to Cowley, Dryden to Byron, Kipling to Yeats. Also watch a lot of documentaries. You'll find that, when you know a lot of stuff, making conversation or giving impromptu talks won't be much of a challenge anymore.

Or you can go the whole hog and join Toastmasters International. Been thinking about doing that for a while now, I'll get round to it in a couple of years

esere826: I need help in communicating
Donno where to post this, but I believe that folks in the family section are mature and experienced and could help


I have never been shy of talking when a subject excites me
In fact I love lecturing/speaking

My challenge is that recently, I have come to realise that I am usually short of words when explaining issues
I feel that this might be making me look unitelligent

The reason for this challenge is that I am begining to know/learn more and more broad and diverse subject matters
I am therefore faced with an issue of multiple vocabulary/jargons associated with such diverse range of subject matters
Also my brain is always spinning with analysis, measuring issues, identifying risks, oppurtunities, gaps etc

esere826:
So when I stand to talk, i find myself grappling with the challenge of sorting and sifting through huge repositories for the right words to best articulate my point
I find it easier to write (maybe because I can fire away and come back to think through and edit)
I hate talking slow, and dont want to end up with the slow slurred commuincation associated with some Nigerian big men


As anyone gone through this challenge before? How did you overcome it?
I really need help, I do not want this present communication challenge to propel me towards being an introvert

Thanks

Is there anything wrong with being an introvert? I am one and it suits me just fine

Ishilove:

Is there anything wrong with being an introvert? I am one and it suits me just fine

me 3! Team Introvert

Ishilove:



Is there anything wrong with being an introvert? I am one and it suits me just fine

You know, some people who think they are introverts actually suffer from poor communication skills.
I used to think I was an introvert myself when I was younger. I had problems socializing as a teenager, and making friends.
By improving my communication skills, I was able to step out of my comfort zone and try things I could never have imagined possible. Like running for student union elections

AjanleKoko: Are you referring to verbal communication? Cos you write very well, at least here on NL.

If it is verbal communication, the frames of reference have to be defined. The way you communicate in workplace or business situations differs from the way you communicate in social and informal settings.

There is a plethora of text and training available for improving communication skills. I would however recommend a timeless classic: Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People. Fantastic read

Also, you should read a lot more classic literature (prose and poetry) if you want to learn language skills and how to use words in a clever manner. There is more than a thousand years' worth of that floating around, From Chaucer to Shakespeare, Pope to Cowley, Dryden to Byron, Kipling to Yeats. Also watch a lot of documentaries. You'll find that, when you know a lot of stuff, making conversation or giving impromptu talks won't be much of a challenge anymore.

Or you can go the whole hog and join Toastmasters International. Been thinking about doing that for a while now, I'll get round to it in a couple of years

Could you share some more about the bolded?
I really would love to know.

Oahray: me 3! Team Introvert

Yipee!!!

Thanks

AjanleKoko: Are you referring to verbal communication? Cos you write very well, at least here on NL.

If it is verbal communication, the frames of reference have to be defined. The way you communicate in workplace or business situations differs from the way you communicate in social and informal settings.

Yes, I am referring to workplace verbal communication. I notice that people get lost when I am talking, so I have to visibly struggle to search for words and contexts that are cognisable to my audience

I think the frame of reference is my challenge. For example, using business jargon when discussing with IT personel
Is there a way I can train my brain to quickly pick 'neutral' terminologies or block out inappropriate jargons while using the appropriate ones?

There is a plethora of text and training available for improving communication skills. I would however recommend a timeless classic: Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People. Fantastic read

Yep. read that ages ago. It was beautiful and changed my communication tremendously. Its theories/observations are extremely helpful in Nigeria. Wow it did wonders when I made the leap in my 'communication curve'
But wasnt much helpful in obodoyibo. Maybe because I had already internalized it and so it lost its wow factor, or maybe its simply because obodoyibo society has since evolved from the times when the book was written (60's or 70's)

Also, you should read a lot more classic literature (prose and poetry) if you want to learn language skills and how to use words in a clever manner. There is more than a thousand years' worth of that floating around, From Chaucer to Shakespeare, Pope to Cowley, Dryden to Byron, Kipling to Yeats. Also watch a lot of documentaries. You'll find that, when you know a lot of stuff, making conversation or giving impromptu talks won't be much of a challenge anymore.

I do a lot of this. I think it is one of the factors for my communication distress.

Or you can go the whole hog and join Toastmasters International. Been thinking about doing that for a while now, I'll get round to it in a couple of years

Googled it. It looks great. Will explore further

AjanleKoko:

You know, some people who think they are introverts actually suffer from poor communication skills.
I used to think I was an introvert myself when I was younger. I had problems socializing as a teenager, and making friends.
By improving my communication skills, I was able to step out of my comfort zone and try things I could never have imagined possible. Like running for student union elections

Most times I prefer listening to talking 'cos I get easily tired of talking. I also prefer my own company cos I listen to the voices within. No, I don't have poor communicating skills...I think... Except when I stand up to address the audience during staff meetings, then my heart starts slamming in my chest, my voice and hands start shaking and my head goes blank. My voice sounds very loud against the mike, and all those eyes...those big, staring eyes, staring at me and LISTENING to me...I almost dropped the speech I was holding last meeting because my hands were shaking so badly. O, the horror!!!!

No, I definitely don't have problems communicating

AjanleKoko:

You know, some people who think they are introverts actually suffer from poor communication skills.
I used to think I was an introvert myself when I was younger. I had problems socializing as a teenager, and making friends.
By improving my communication skills, I was able to step out of my comfort zone and try things I could never have imagined possible. Like running for student union elections

I think i agree with this
nas why I no one loose my communication skills

esere826: Thanks

Yes, I am referring to workplace verbal communication. I notice that people get lost when I am talking, so I have to visibly struggle to search for words and contexts that are cognisable to my audience

I think the frame of reference is my challenge. For example, using business jargon when discussing with IT personel
Is there a way I can train my brain to quickly pick 'neutral' terminologies or block out inappropriate jargons while using the appropriate ones?

Your problem is you are too intelligent for your own good. Your language cannot express all that you have chucked in that big African head of your's, hence your challenges

AjanleKoko:

You know, some people who think they are introverts actually suffer from poor communication skills.
I used to think I was an introvert myself when I was younger. I had problems socializing as a teenager, and making friends.
By improving my communication skills, I was able to step out of my comfort zone and try things I could never have imagined possible. Like running for student union elections

I disagree bro. Maybe a crash course on human psychology would be in order. Being introverted isn't the same as being shy, though they go together in many cases. Even extroverts suffer self-esteem issues too, like bullies.

The introvert is simply more in touch with his inner person than the extrovert, more of a thinker than a talker, a better watcher than a doer, and in many cases, a better analyst. This of course does not mean he cannot be an orator, or any such thing.

Oahray: I disagree bro. Maybe a crash course on human psychology would be in order. Being introverted isn't the same as being shy, though they go together in many cases. Even extroverts suffer self-esteem issues too, like bullies.

The introvert is simply more in touch with his inner person than the extrovert, more of a thinker than a talker, a better watcher than a doer, and in many cases, a better analyst. This of course does not mean he cannot be an orator, or any such thing.

Ohhhh nooooo
I do not want to be an introvert
i no one touch anything inside my inner person
I need to be rescued from this looming dark hole of introversy

I want to be a talkative

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

esere826: Thanks

Yes, I am referring to workplace verbal communication. I notice that people get lost when I am talking, so I have to visibly struggle to search for words and contexts that are cognisable to my audience

I think the frame of reference is my challenge. For example, using business jargon when discussing with IT personel
Is there a way I can train my brain to quickly pick 'neutral' terminologies or block out inappropriate jargons while using the appropriate ones?

Okay, if I have this right, you mean when you are communicating non-technical stuff to technical people?
The best way is to draw pictures, and show what you are saying visually. Technical people don't understand lots of words

Ishilove:
Your problem is you are too intelligent for your own good. Your language cannot express all that you have chucked in that big African head of your's, hence your challenges

taks ma
But what is the use of knowing all if u cannot express all?

AjanleKoko:

Okay, if I have this right, you mean when you are communicating non-technical stuff to technical people?
The best way is to draw pictures, and show what you are saying visually. Technical people don't understand lots of words

Umhhhh.... Eureka
so it might not be my fault afterall
darn those tech people that made me think I was loosing my yanning skills,
including my oga

Ishilove:
Your problem is you are too intelligent for your own good. Your language cannot express all that you have chucked in that big African head of your's, hence your challenges

lol. No one is ever too intelligent to put on the robe of simplicity.

@op, this is just a suggestion. I think you have to start from within. Practice talking to a mirror on varying issues. As a rule, make it strictly 'is and was'. Most things that can be learned can be unlearned too.

Oahray: I disagree bro. Maybe a crash course on human psychology would be in order. Being introverted isn't the same as being shy, though they go together in many cases. Even extroverts suffer self-esteem issues too, like bullies.

The introvert is simply more in touch with his inner person than the extrovert, more of a thinker than a talker, a better watcher than a doer, and in many cases, a better analyst. This of course does not mean he cannot be an orator, or any such thing.

Ahem. You are jumping to a lot of conclusions

I haven't even defined introversion. I just made this statement:

AjanleKoko:

You know, some people who think they are introverts actually suffer from poor communication skills.

Nothing there about being shy, or having low self-esteem. In fact, introversion is more about being wrapped up in oneself, getting your energy from within yourself. Not necessarily being a better thinker. In fact I know lots of introverts that are poor with analytical disciplines like math and finance.

I am positing that a lot of times, people are quick to label themselves as introverts when their real problem is poor communication skills. I know this first hand.

I even know a real-life case of two MBTI profiles done on the same person over a course of ten years, between 2002 and 2012. The initial tests indicated the person to be an INFJ, dominant introvert. He was asked to work extensively on his communication skills if he wanted to be effective in his chosen profession. Same MBTI profile was run on the same person in 2012, and he indicated as an ENTJ. Diametric opposites.

esere826:

Ohhhh nooooo
I do not want to be an introvert
i no one touch anything inside my inner person
I need to be rescued from this looming dark hole of introversy

I want to be a talkative

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Receive your healing!!!

Oahray: lol. No one is ever too intelligent to put on the robe of simplicity.

@op, this is just a suggestion. I think you have to start from within. Practice talking to a mirror on varying issues. As a rule, make it strictly 'is and was'. Most things that can be learned can be unlearned too.

Can you kindly expatiate on the bolded.

AjanleKoko:


I even know a real-life case of two MBTI profiles done on the same person over a course of ten years, between 2002 and 2012. The initial tests indicated the person to be an INFJ, dominant introvert. He was asked to work extensively on his communication skills if he wanted to be effective in his chosen profession. Same MBTI profile was run on the same person in 2012, and he indicated as an ENTJ. Diametric opposites.

Was the person aware of the purpose of this profiling?
When people are aware of observations, they are able to change their characteristics to match desired profiles
Was this factored in?

esere826:

Ohhhh nooooo
I do not want to be an introvert
i no one touch anything inside my inner person
I need to be rescued from this looming dark hole of introversy

I want to be a talkative

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thought you had no problem with talking alot and wanted a 'step down'
Oya recieve your healing from auntie Ishi first

esere826:

Was the person aware of the purpose of this profiling
When people are aware of observations, they are able to change their characteristics to match desired profiles

Of course he was aware. But it's hardly likely that you can second-guess a number of random questions. Unless you are well-versed in the methodologies behind the tests being applied to you. Kind of like a lie-detector test.

MBTI by the way is a type of personality profiling known as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. There are a bunch of them, but management consultants use this one a lot. In my professional life, I've come across it a lot of times.

They have various types of indicators: E=Extroverted, I= Introverted, T=Thinker, F=Feeler, N=Intuitor, S= Sensing, J= Judging, P= Perceiving.

AjanleKoko:

Ahem. You are jumping to a lot of conclusions

I haven't even defined introversion. I just made this statement:



Nothing there about being shy, or having low self-esteem. In fact, introversion is more about being wrapped up in oneself, getting your energy from within yourself. Not necessarily being a better thinker. In fact I know lots of introverts that are poor with analytical disciplines like math and finance.

I am positing that a lot of times, people are quick to label themselves as introverts when their real problem is poor communication skills. I know this first hand.

I even know a real-life case of two MBTI profiles done on the same person over a course of ten years, between 2002 and 2012. The initial tests indicated the person to be an INFJ, dominant introvert. He was asked to work extensively on his communication skills if he wanted to be effective in his chosen profession. Same MBTI profile was run on the same person in 2012, and he indicated as an ENTJ. Diametric opposites.

lol. Apologies sir. Would not jump to such low depths of conclusion next time.

well that's possible. I'v had different results too, though in a less standard test. INFP, INTJ and ENFP. And it was only because my answers were influenced by my desire to have a different result.

That said, I do believe one's personality is more nurture than nature and could change over time.

esere826:

Can you kindly expatiate on the bolded.

em... Could't find anything in boldface. Maybe it's my phone font or browser

AjanleKoko:

Of course he was aware. But it's hardly likely that you can second-guess a number of random questions. Unless you are well-versed in the methodologies behind the tests being applied to you. Kind of like a lie-detector test.

MBTI by the way is a type of personality profiling known as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. There are a bunch of them, but management consultants use this one a lot. In my professional life, I've come across it a lot of times.

They have various types of indicators: E=Extroverted, I= Introverted, T=Thinker, F=Feeler, N=Intuitor, S= Sensing, J= Judging, P= Perceiving.

Ok sha
but i have used MBTI tool kit and arrived at numerous personality types for myself within days or hours all depending on which characteristic I like the tool to potray me as. (Maybe its because i understand how the tool works)

Although MBTI provides for standardized assessment
I prefer descrete observation in assesing peoples personality in work context

Oahray: em... Could't find anything in boldface. Maybe it's my phone font or browser

you said "most things that can be learned can be unlearned"

Kindly expatiate

Oahray: thought you had no problem with talking alot and wanted a 'step down'
Oya recieve your healing from auntie Ishi first

Amen sister ishi

esere826:

Umhhhh.... Eureka
so it might not be my fault afterall
darn those tech people that made me think I was loosing my yanning skills,
including my oga

LOL.
Try it, you'll see how well they respond when you draw diagrams.
Tech people respond naturally to visual explanations. You lose them when you get all wordy

It simply means you are not eloquent which has nothing to do with deficiency in vocabulary.

What i suggest is for you to build confidence in yourself. You can achieve this by joining a discussion group that contains known and familiar faces. It could even be your football loving friends or any area that you are knowledgeable about.

BTW, Your writing skill is very strong

jeffizy: It simply means you are not eloquent which has nothing to do with deficiency in vocabulary.

What i suggest is for you to build confidence in yourself. You can achieve this by joining a discussion group that contains known and familiar faces. It could even be your football loving friends or any area that you are knowledgeable about.

But I was eloquent
and I am presently extremely confident (to a fault)
I think AJ was able to accurately dicepher what my challenge is
I have already started applying his recomendation, and it seems to be working

BTW, Your writing skill is very strong

Thanks

AjanleKoko:

LOL.
Try it, you'll see how well they respond when you draw diagrams.
Tech people respond naturally to visual explanations. You lose them when you get all wordy

Thanks
seems to be working

Also Thanks to all that contributed in attempting to give me a voice again
I also thank my mum, dad, siblings and aunties
thanks to my girlfriends, and concubines

special thanks also goes to my bingo who did not loose faith in me and kept on leaking my face in the face of my adversity

emmm...
thanks to my ....
i don tire
*picks nice female trophy and steps out of the stage*
*hears someone screaming in the background "hey... stop this is the familly section, you just took my wife"*

*hastens steps and makes for the exit with trophy in tow*