esere826: I need help in communicating
Donno where to post this, but I believe that folks in the family section are mature and experienced and could help


I have never been shy of talking when a subject excites me
In fact I love lecturing/speaking

My challenge is that recently, I have come to realise that I am usually short of words when explaining issues
I feel that this might be making me look unitelligent

The reason for this challenge is that I am begining to know/learn more and more broad and diverse subject matters
I am therefore faced with an issue of multiple vocabulary/jargons associated with such diverse range of subject matters
Also my brain is always spinning with analysis, measuring issues, identifying risks, oppurtunities, gaps etc

So when I stand to talk, i find myself grappling with the challenge of sorting and sifting through huge repositories for the right words to best articulate my point
I find it easier to write (maybe because I can fire away and come back to think through and edit)
I hate talking slow, and dont want to end up with the slow slurred commuincation associated with some Nigerian big men


As anyone gone through this challenge before? How did you overcome it?
I really need help, I do not want this present communication challenge to propel me towards being an introvert

Thanks

AjanleKoko: Are you referring to verbal communication? Cos you write very well, at least here on NL.

If it is verbal communication, the frames of reference have to be defined. The way you communicate in workplace or business situations differs from the way you communicate in social and informal settings.

There is a plethora of text and training available for improving communication skills. I would however recommend a timeless classic: Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People. Fantastic read

Also, you should read a lot more classic literature (prose and poetry) if you want to learn language skills and how to use words in a clever manner. There is more than a thousand years' worth of that floating around, From Chaucer to Shakespeare, Pope to Cowley, Dryden to Byron, Kipling to Yeats. Also watch a lot of documentaries. You'll find that, when you know a lot of stuff, making conversation or giving impromptu talks won't be much of a challenge anymore.

Or you can go the whole hog and join Toastmasters International. Been thinking about doing that for a while now, I'll get round to it in a couple of years

tsmith: Haa haa, I sensed right, you r in obodo oyinbo like me, long n short, u get all the skills and knowledge that u can n return to your home country where you would be better appreciated and you don't need to keep paraphrasing your thoughts.
............
now it seems it's a me party, as I'm the only one posting, but I so reckon with you on this. It's like you opened the thread for me and it's consoling that someone else in the world is some sort of similar shoes

esere826:

Thanks
seems to be working

Also Thanks to all that contributed in attempting to give me a voice again
I also thank my mum, dad, siblings and aunties
thanks to my girlfriends, and concubines

special thanks also goes to my bingo who did not loose faith in me and kept on leaking my face in the face of my adversity

emmm...
thanks to my ....
i don tire
*picks nice female trophy and steps out of the stage*
*hears someone screaming in the background "hey... stop this is the familly section, you just took my wife"*

*hastens steps and makes for the exit with trophy in tow*

esere826: @tsmith

Yesterday, i impressed myself after soaking in this thread
I saw everyone I spoke with at the office nodding their head

tsmith:

I kinda sense you are not in Nigeria, I.e. You are communicating out of your normal depth. I actually align with what you're going through, but I associated mine to be a result of child birth as I have noticed a massive difference with my comms before and after childbirth in terms of what we call 'fonee'

To make matters worse I made a career change after the birth of my 1st child, so there I was a 'cowboy' project analyst who claims to have years if experience dah dah dah (I guess lots of naija can relate with this).

being in unfamiliar but pressured terrains and the need to keep on top with the office project lingos saw my communication confidence take a nose dive. I start to stammer, simple words start to elude me and I end up coming across as a total bum!

Now with good 5 years experience and the fact that I do truly know my stuff, you would think it should be in the past, but hell no! The unfortunate thing is that I know I am far more intelligent than I come across at work. I hold a hid argument outside of work, state my case clearly and all, but even I laugh what I am like at work.

It's got me thinking more about the root cause and how best to circumvent this, a few of my analogies are:

1.) Im constantly over thinking how I comw across and sound, this is a major killer as one can't excel on all grounds if the brain is doing much at one time, yiu either focus on content and sound as d true african that I am, or focus in the delivery; fonee and articulation having prepped content ahead.

2.) Stop trying to be someone else or sounding like someone else. Its unfortunate but my default brain thinks Nigerian and then tries to translate to British office lingo; am example being ' we need to look at everything' compared to ' we need to consider all aspects/views. My default self would say the d 1st statement under pressure in a meeting but would use the 2nd in an email after 10 minutes of editing n synonyms. A defiant part of me feels shebi idea is need, but my alter ego knows I could do beta!

3.) Be prepped cannot be over emphasised, Obama as you see who is deemed a great orator has speeches that have been prepped and rehearsed. Your confidence grows when you know you have delivered quality 'shiit' and this would overtime help you to ride the tide even when spurned an unexpected.

4.) Never fail to admit what you don't know but offer to come back with answers when you find out. You would be much respected this way

5.) Finally, emancipate yourself from 2nd class citizen's mentality. Those you are communicating with r no better than or created more special. At the end of the day, its all talk. The one who holds the floor might not necessarily have the best product, but might just be blessed with gift of the gap.

PS: the above might not necessarily relate to you, it's just my grail if only I did live by it myself, I would be much better

esere826:

You probably exist in too many worlds while your work collagues exist in a singular world of work
afterall na you still dey sell bag and shoes for nairaland

Ishilove:
#Colleagues#

esere826:
I am indeed communicating out of my normal depth.
my fonee plus my use of business jargon (academic type) plus lack of correct terminolgy for present environment ,.. all join


chei!! you are a naughty girl
Same here sha


that look in their eyes abi


You probably exist in too many worlds while your work collagues exist in a singular world of work
afterall na you still dey sell bag and shoes for nairaland



Sounds like you got yourself a tidy solution

salsera: @tsmith
lets not even go there about woolwich

wondering how it will be when i start to work
@esere
Hey stranger - remember me?
was about to clean up after you too but someone got there first i suppose.

the land of obodoyinbo and work mentality.

esere826:
I need help in communicating
Donno where to post this, but I believe that folks in the family section are mature and experienced and could help


I have never been shy of talking when a subject excites me
In fact I love lecturing/speaking

My challenge is that recently, I have come to realise that I am usually short of words when explaining issues
I feel that this might be making me look unitelligent

The reason for this challenge is that I am begining to know/learn more and more broad and diverse subject matters
I am therefore faced with an issue of multiple vocabulary/jargons associated with such diverse range of subject matters
Also my brain is always spinning with analysis, measuring issues, identifying risks, oppurtunities, gaps etc

So when I stand to talk, i find myself grappling with the challenge of sorting and sifting through huge repositories for the right words to best articulate my point
I find it easier to write (maybe because I can fire away and come back to think through and edit)
I hate talking slow, and dont want to end up with the slow slurred commuincation associated with some Nigerian big men


As anyone gone through this challenge before? How did you overcome it?
I really need help, I do not want this present communication challenge to propel me towards being an introvert

Thanks