The Maker of all mankind is recalling all manufactured human units, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Subsequent Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as SIN. Some common symptoms may include:

1. Lying
2. Stealing
3. Unforgiving
4. Fornicating
5. Idolatry
6. Rebelling
7. Unbelief

A disgruntled former employee who was fired for staging a workplace rebellion against the CEO caused the defect. The Manufacturer has taken responsibility for this and is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct the SIN problem. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. To repair all areas of your unit, you may call the following number toll-free:

P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download REMISSION from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING!!! Continuing to operate your human unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing you to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in your unit being permanently impounded!!

DANGER!!! The human units not responding to this recall action will need to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention!

Signed: The Father.

Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by "kneemail".