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Re: Does this Make Children bad? by deols(f): 6:57pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
ileobatojo: I will also add that by giving them everything they want, apart from teaching them coping skills, you would also be eliminating a huge block of discipline techniques that should be applied to children. No beating and yelling (which I'm completely fine with) + no utilization of natural consequences (cause and effect) + no utilization of taking away privileges + no utilization of negative re-inforcement; does not leave you with a lot to work with in terms of discipline techniques. I just have to agree with you.Totally. The method of discipline has to be the privileges withdrawal method and giving all would disallow that. I think withdrawing would send a very strong signal to a child used to having his way, making it very effective. |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 6:57pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
deols: I'm sorry, did you not say this in your initial post? deols: Do you think differently? I want honest opinion please? If you didn't mean that, perhaps you should consider modifying your OP. As to wanting to know why I think this way, please see my previous posts, I have explained several angles and rationales for it already. |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 6:58pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
deols: Good to know. Have a nice day. |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by coogar: 7:00pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
deols: I have plans of 'spoiling' my Children. i concur.... my children are going to be very "spoilt". i was spoilt and i cannot say it didn't work out. why settle for less with my kids. everyone's prayers/effort should be centred around giving a much more better life to the kids so they can pass it on to their own offspring as well..... |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by deols(f): 7:09pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
coogar: That is how I think. I usually have what I want. well, after understanding my boundaries. But I also know what it is like to not have some things you want. I just don't want that feeling for my children. How confident they are, how they relate with others, etc can be affected by it. So what do you think of the discipline part. would the withdrawal method be perfect? |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by biolabee(m): 7:09pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
jidegirl12: nothing do u |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by deols(f): 7:15pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
damiso: You express it better. |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 7:17pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
damiso: @disneyland... For children that are used to having it ALL they know its just shakara that they WILL go to Florida whether you like it or not because the tickets have been purchased since January . -------------- This may sound funny BUT It all comes down to your genes marry a genius ( or yourself) and reproduce efiko so good grades will not be a problem, ( course with good education in place) as per discipline: I do consequences , if you jump too high / play rough on the trampoline/ play structure , you'll break your bones and you're the one that'll get hurt not me Home-training: Age appropriate Household chores in place and must be done without withdrawing any privilege typical threats Nah just a waste of time. And Last but Not the least NO HITTING Yeah let them spoil : Let's see the end product when it's time. |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by deols(f): 7:20pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
.
how is this? without hitting and without privilege removal? Does it just become the normal daily routine without qualms? |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 7:23pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
deols: ^^ Yeah .... they're not dumb, going thru all that trouble won't be necessary ... You know what ? Everybody should raise theirs as they like. Tats! |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by deols(f): 7:26pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
jidegirl12: actually that wasnt to you. My question to you is above. |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 7:36pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
deols: . You see, don't want to be devil's advocate on this Topic, whatever works for you may not work for me blah blah to each and his own crap I don't Hit/spank my kids, I've tried seizing toys and all that but it didn't work for me so I don't need lectures ....... the only discipline I do is naughty corner/ timeout/go to your room and your TV& gadgets off and course Talk they are human with ears too. Yeah...It's very Normal way of life for us. We are fine and dandy |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by coogar: 7:36pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
deols: the discipline part is easy...... i would use my dad's methods. he used to sit me down like his mate and reel out what's expected of me. he provided the tools(hundreds of text books) and my task is to read and do well in school. the few times i did not do what i promised, he withdrew all the privileges(i wasn't even allowed to watch football on the TV) until i fulfilled my promise. by age 14, i already knew he wouldn't compromise his standard for anyone so i understood him very well on that angle. he couldn't be bothered about the aspects of discipline like house chores and stuff. as long as a child is sound in school, the other stuff as far as he's concerned are irrelevant! |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 7:42pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
jidegirl12: Which = withdrawing of privileges. I thought that was "typical treats Nah just a waste of time"? |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by deols(f): 7:43pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
jidegirl12: is alright. I understand. |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by deols(f): 7:45pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
coogar: I like the talking part. It works. |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 7:46pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
ileobatojo: ^^ 2.5 mins per calendar year I.E 2yr old X 2.5mins= 5 mins timeout compared to overboard lots?? Compared to withdrawing vacation threat , duh? |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by deols(f): 7:46pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
Thanks everyone, for your time |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 7:49pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
1 Like |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 8:05pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
jidegirl12: Huh? Withdrawing privileges is not the same as time out, is not the same as 'withdrawing vacation threat'. The use of electronic gadgets and watching tv is a privilege. Not allowing them to use these because they have been bad is withdrawing privileges. So it is pointless knocking withdrawing privileges when you use this method yourself. |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 8:15pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
1 Like |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by coogar: 8:30pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
chaircover: Every single child is different. Some only need to read the expression in mummy's eye to fix themselves and some have to have the devil beaten out of them. As a parent you have to apply the right medicine to the right condition. Some kids you say NO to and they say ok mum, while some kids will throw tantrums and disgrace you on walmarts floor. maybe? CC, why are you trying to be modest? |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by EfemenaXY: 8:51pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
jidegirl12: Hmmm...I can't help but feel this aspect of 'spoiling' your kids is veered more towards materialism (in a good way..) @ Deols: what about the emotional aspect of 'spoiling' your kids? You can't always give them what they want! C'mon. There is a reason why you are the adult and they, the child(ren). You the adult, are meant to direct, guide and lead the way. They are meant to look up to you for guidance. So how do you achieve this if you give in to their every wants, needs and desires? So say for example, your teenage daughter (yes, teenager with the raging hormones), tells you she wants to spend the night at her boyfriend's home, what would your response be? Are you gonna give in to her because you want to 'spoil' her? Or if your teenage son informs you that he wants to drop out of school because school's 'uncool'? What would you do then? 1 Like |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 8:54pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by coogar: 8:58pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
chaircover: what do you think? do you think you spoil them? |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 9:05pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by coogar: 9:10pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
chaircover: that's my answer right there.... |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 9:11pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
Efemena_xy: Are you minding Jide, just because you can afford Sugarpova and not just baba dudu doesn't mean you should allow your kids destroy their teeth with candy everytime they want it. |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by Nobody: 9:12pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by coogar: 9:14pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
ileobatojo: i am 100% certain ileoba would be one strict mum. deploying core african methods to train 21st century kids. chaircover: "as comfy as possible" is what most observers would consider "spoilt". i really dunno why it's criminal to spoil one's kids. |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by tpia5: 9:16pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
personally, i think you should have the kids first before worrying about how to raise them, but at the same time, there's nothing wrong with setting goals (same can be adjusted as necessary in future since you dont make kids by yourself). your thread title and subsequent post started off on the wrong footing, you sound like people who see things in either black or white, ie good or bad with no in between. One dimensional thinking. deols: I have plans of 'spoiling' my Children. why should you think its normal for another person to beat, bully, shout at or hurt your kids? how does not allowing demented characters to abuse/insult your kids, amount to the kids being "bad people"? if you dont take that kind of crap for your own self, why are you wondering if its ok for your kids? unless you did not raise your kids well, this is not a normal mindset. And even assuming the kids werent raised well, still no excuse for every foul buffoon to dump their life frustrations on them. I think all of these define being a good mother. these define being human. parenting is much more. Do you think differently? I want honest opinion please? i wonder if you were able to glean something? 2 Likes |
Re: Does this Make Children bad? by tpia5: 9:17pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
as per kids being "spoilt", that depends on your context. and where home training comes in. |
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