biolabee: Also @osisi pre marital sexx or even in-marriage driving is no guarantee that nepa will not take light

ED can suddenly creep on someone's style in mid age

Drugs, trauma, loss of libido, motivation or so many other factors

We know that
Every man beyond 45 starts to experience some decrease in performance ( some worse than others sha)
That is natural
We can manage that one
If you could go thrice in one night and now your engine can only take one,that is still a pass mark
That is why people should try to marry a man when he is not older than 30
That way you get enough mileage out of him before the laws of diminishing returns set in

God forbid he develops high blood pressure and diabetes plus prostate issues ,maybe na look u go dey look the thing and remember once upon a time
Not my portion IJMN

babyosisi:

God forbid he developed high blood pressure and diabetes plus prostate issues ,maybe na look u go dey look the thing and remember once upon a time

Madame

Verily, verily, I say unto thou - you ARE wicked!

Rofl

babyosisi:

We know that
Every man beyond 45 starts to experience some decrease in performance ( some worse than others sha)
That is natural
We can manage that one
If you could go thrice in one night and now your engine can only take one,that is still a pass mark
That is why people should try to marry a man when he is not older than 30
That way you get enough mileage out of him before the laws of diminishing returns set in

God forbid he develops high blood pressure and diabetes plus prostate issues ,maybe na look u go dey look the thing and remember once upon a time
Not my portion IJMN

these days, there are men of less than 30 that are already battling ED. my last trip to lagos taught me there's a health crisis in nigeria no one is paying attention to. every male i know is addicted to alomo bitters/shekpe and whatever name they call those hideous looking concoction in a bottle. these men are less than 30!

coogar:

these days, there are men of less than 30 that are already battling ED. my last trip to lagos taught me there's a health crisis in nigeria no one is paying attention to. every male i know is addicted to alomo bitters/shekpe and whatever name they call those hideous looking concoction in a bottle. these men are less than 30!

What does alomo bitters do?
Is it like burantashi which they say is an enhancer to help men keep it up

Lmao at once upon a time

Na like dis e go dey

babyosisi:
How else can a Christian woman make sure the commodity she is buying dey alright especially since we are taught that se.x before marriage is wrong.
Is it a conversation the couple should have I.e size and performance for those who want to wait till the wedding night?

Sincere responses please

I am going down on a long post which may look incoherent. Pardon my penmanship, am no good writer.

I initially took the topic as a joke hence my initial response. This is my sincere take on the issue and wouldn't mind if called an hypocrite.
How can a Christian confirm the correctness of what she is living with for the rest of her life? The keyword here is a Christian and I believe none of us was cajoled to becoming one, we all made an independent decision at one point in our lives to become one. For every organisation, there is a bounding rule and punishment accorded to breaking of such rule by any member. So also, God has a set standard that He operates which cannot be broken.

Christianity is an individual and personal walk as well as relationship with God that has its guidelines from the originator which determination and willingness to obey all is a key to attaining perfection. Permit me to say that if someone truthfully and sincerely serve the Lord, there is nothing secret that will be hidden from the fellow. God will bring every issues and darkness to limelight.

God is interested in every aspect and areas of His people, hence asking God about this important issue will surely give you answer without test driving. This is what I have tested in every areas of my personal life and confirmed to be true. Why not ask your maker, who will not just reveal the sex-ual deficiency but also expose grey areas of the person for you to pick race.

I would rather advice young people to have a healthy, close and friendly relationship with God so that when they reach this bridge, they will cross it from personal divine revelation. I did not test drive because I already knew what I was getting and how the journey will be. This is what I have tested and handled of the word of life to direct my part in revealing blur and grey areas. I needed not to test drive to unravel the mystery.

To those who want to test drive, it is their choice and I believe adults are big enough to face consequences of their choices either good or bad. However, how many men or ladies will they test drive to reach their destination?

It is well with you all

Efemena_xy:

What a truly condescending post!

You can't use religion to mask completely obliterate or deny physical needs. Tell me, how much fasting and prayer would one indulge in where the couple in question are sexually incompatible?

In situations where one partner has a high sex drive and needs it several times a day, most days of the week in a year? And on the other hand, you have an emotionally cold dead partner with an incredibly low sex drive who only sees sex for procreation? And who sees any form of 'extra' sex not intended for procreation purposes as a bonus? Or that you should be grateful to them for 'indulging' you? So what solution are you gonna proffer them? Endless fasting and prayers till thy kingdom come?

Why even ask? I bet you see fasting and prayer as a substitute to sex, and sex as you so eloquently put it, is nothing but a "carnal sense of Man" to be "rebuked" by fire-by-force. Abi? Go on, admit it.

It's easier for a man with a low sex drive to cope with the situation than for a woman with a higher sex drive. We all know how restrictive the African / Nigerian culture or setting is. At the end of the day, if the man's drive is higher and wifey can not meet his needs, he is at liberty to get a whole set of mistresses & girlfriends or even a new wife! Hell, society will even pat him on the back for being a real man.

But if it's the other way round, i.e, the woman having a higher sex drive (I bet you think having a high sex drive equates to terrible sin and doomsday...), then what options does she have?

~ Would society allow her indulge in an open marriage? No, I don't think so.
~ Would she be allowed to take on a lover? To meet her sexual needs? No, I don't think so.
~ Divorce, perhaps? Aha! But divorce is an admittance of failure na, abi?

I utterly hate prudishness and hypocrisy in all it's forms.

Ladies, if you wanna curl up and die slowly from having a frigid man after marriage, good luck to you lot sha. Just don't come back here weeping and gnashing your teeth that you have to beg your man to 'touch' you to initiate a perfectly normal act. If you wanna 'wing it' on blind faith, then go ahead.

As for me, I advocate seriously test driving that engine several times. If the guy isn't up to it, slap on on the back and tell him to take his under performing ar$e else where jare. Now that's my two cents worth.

I quite understood the premises of your argument. From human/fleshly point of view, you are correct with your reasoning at least as a human being because of our depraved nature.The truth is that we cannot entirely satisfy the flesh. Her demands is insatiable. Our reasoning, intellectual knowledge, exposure and education cannot change what God says is sin. The First time probably that you test run the first man that humbled you, there was a part of your conscience that felt guilty and that condemned you. That was the part of God that reminded you what you did was bad. Sex is good and God wanted us to enjoy it but legitimately. The truth is that Devil and the Flesh wanted us to satisfy our legitimate desires in an illegitimate ways so it can be called sins. So that the Judgement of God can fall upon us. So we can loose Gods favour. See the problem we have is that about 80% of us Christians are carnal. We do not entirely trust God that He is able to provide the best for us. I repeat God can never give his children what He knows will not befit them. Why call Him God and Lord, and never keep his commandments. Why do we call Him God and yet we cannot trust Him enough to lead us and provide for us what we really desires. Jesus said if you ask your father bread, will he give you stone? If you ask your father fish, will he give you snake? Your heavenly father knows your need and he will not give you a size that is bigger or smaller than you. God still lead his people today. He guides those who cares to obey Him. He directs their path. He speaks to them as to which man is fake or real. If it reamins 'small' for you to fall into a ditch or an unsecere man, He will let you kow. He has provided a way for us to know what lies in the future. We are not in dark anymore. He knows tomorrow, our future and We cannot regret if we truly let God lead us. We do not need to use fleshly sin to compliment God. Many things about tomorrow, I may not seem to understand. but the one who holds tomorrow is the one who holds our hands. You cannot by flesh, sin, sampling, test driving know entirely what lies in tomorrow/in a man or woman. You can only envisage and yet it will never last. Those who have tried these things as Christians, some regrets today because all that glitters in the flesh is just but for a momentary pleasures. I pray God help everyone reading this to understand that When we build our Trust in God, He is able to carry us through safely to a place of safety, satisfaction and unending joy not only in heaven but in this world

osisi.. as coogar has rightly pointed

ED is becoming a big issue
with the amount of processed foods, STIs, stress floating around town

babyosisi:
What does alomo bitters do?
Is it like burantashi which they say is an enhancer to help men keep it up

i don't know what it does - it smells like a billy goat's urine. i couldn't bring myself to taste it let alone, swallow it. men in naija take it religiously - like they use toothpaste.

Admonition:

I quite understood the premises of your argument. From human/fleshly point of view, you are correct with your reasoning at least as a human being because of our depraved nature.The truth is that we cannot entirely satisfy the flesh. Her demands is insatiable. Our reasoning, intellectual knowledge, exposure and education cannot change what God says is sin. The First time probably that you test run the first man that humbled you, there was a part of your conscience that felt guilty and that condemned you. That was the part of God that reminded you what you did was bad. Sex is good and God wanted us to enjoy it but legitimately. The truth is that Devil and the Flesh wanted us to satisfy our legitimate desires in an illegitimate ways so it can be called sins. So that the Judgement of God can fall upon us. So we can loose Gods favour. See the problem we have is that about 80% of us Christians are carnal. We do not entirely trust God that He is able to provide the best for us. I repeat God can never give his children what He knows will not befit them. Why call Him God and Lord, and never keep his commandments. Why do we call Him God and yet we cannot trust Him enough to lead us and provide for us what we really desires. Jesus said if you ask your father bread, will he give you stone? If you ask your father fish, will he give you snake? Your heavenly father knows your need and he will not give you a size that is bigger or smaller than you. God still lead his people today. He guides those who cares to obey Him. He directs their path. He speaks to them as to which man is fake or real. If it reamins 'small' for you to fall into a ditch or an unsecere man, He will let you kow. He has provided a way for us to know what lies in the future. We are not in dark anymore. He knows tomorrow, our future and We cannot regret if we truly let God lead us. We do not need to use fleshly sin to compliment God. Many things about tomorrow, I may not seem to understand. but the one who holds tomorrow is the one who holds our hands. You cannot by flesh, sin, sampling, test driving know entirely what lies in tomorrow/in a man or woman. You can only envisage and yet it will never last. Those who have tried these things as Christians, some regrets today because all that glitters in the flesh is just but for a momentary pleasures. I pray God help everyone reading this to understand that When we build our Trust in God, He is able to carry us through safely to a place of safety, satisfaction and unending joy not only in heaven but in this world

I am saving this for my children to read someday. You are preaching to the congregation. The OP said it's a family and Christian issue hence my coming at this topic from the Christian background.

babyosisi:

We know that
Every man beyond 45 starts to experience some decrease in performance ( some worse than others sha)
That is natural
We can manage that one
If you could go thrice in one night and now your engine can only take one,that is still a pass mark
That is why people should try to marry a man when he is not older than 30
That way you get enough mileage out of him before the laws of diminishing returns set in

God forbid he develops high blood pressure and diabetes plus prostate issues ,maybe na look u go dey look the thing and remember once upon a time
Not my portion IJMN

I love this post!!!!

Even if you do not believe in test driving you must have felt the heat from your partner to know they are functional. Its not like abstaining is a walk in the park! Many couples nowadays insist on a thorough physical my friend included. She just got married and did not do the do. She insisted on a reproductive health physical and he readily agreed. To avoid your amateurish visual inspections or temptations wouldn't a professional's general bill of health suffice? We are human and like assurances not just when it comes to sex but with everything. On the other hand some challenges may surface later and you can deal with those. People just don't like to be hoodwinked from the get go.

spoilt: Even if you do not believe in test driving you must have felt the heat from your partner to know they are functional. Its not like abstaining is a walk in the park! Many couples nowadays insist on a thorough physical my friend included. She just got married and did not do the do. She insisted on a reproductive health physical and he readily agreed. To avoid your amateurish visual inspections or temptations wouldn't a professional's general bill of health suffice? We are human and like assurances not just when it comes to sex but with everything. On the other hand some challenges may surface later and you can deal with those. People just don't like to be hoodwinked from the get go.

Gbam!!

Like I said earlier
Just because I won't divorce a man that loses his job doesn't mean I will open eye and marry a jobless man from the get go
Love cannot turn to jollof rice bikonu

bellong:

I am going down on a long post which may look incoherent. Pardon my penmanship, am no good writer.

I initially took the topic as a joke hence my initial response. This is my sincere take on the issue and wouldn't mind if called an hypocrite.
How can a Christian confirm the correctness of what she is living with for the rest of her life? The keyword here is a Christian and I believe none of us was cajoled to becoming one, we all made an independent decision at one point in our lives to become one. For every organisation, there is a bounding rule and punishment accorded to breaking of such rule by any member. So also, God has a set standard that He operates which cannot be broken.

Christianity is an individual and personal walk as well as relationship with God that has its guidelines from the originator which determination and willingness to obey all is a key to attaining perfection. Permit me to say that if someone truthfully and sincerely serve the Lord, there is nothing secret that will be hidden from the fellow. God will bring every issues and darkness to limelight.

God is interested in every aspect and areas of His people, hence asking God about this important issue will surely give you answer without test driving. This is what I have tested in every areas of my personal life and confirmed to be true. Why not ask your maker, who will not just reveal the sex-ual deficiency but also expose grey areas of the person for you to pick race.

I would rather advice young people to have a healthy, close and friendly relationship with God so that when they reach this bridge, they will cross it from personal divine revelation. I did not test drive because I already knew what I was getting and how the journey will be. This is what I have tested and handled of the word of life to direct my part in revealing blur and grey areas. I needed not to test drive to unravel the mystery.

To those who want to test drive, it is their choice and I believe adults are big enough to face consequences of their choices either good or bad. However, how many men or ladies will they test drive to reach their destination?

It is well with you all

Ok, my children will see this one too

Please people should not see my posts as being judgmental or hypocritical. This is not a who will go to hell thread and who wouldn't. We are all adults and are able to take responsibility for our actions, however, if we are to go the christian way, fornication before marriage is a sin.

The fact that all christians are hypocrites should not make you join them in the bandwagon. The fact that others are doing worse does not mean you should do same

Dantedasz: Even if it goes against biblical injunctions I will always advise one or two test drives of a vehicle before purchase.
It is more satisfying to the driver as well as the vehicle.

And what if he uses viagra during the test drive(s) ? You surely cannot excuse that! As captured by Admonition et al., the principles of the bible can never be compromised. Premarital sex has always been and will always be a sin.

@topic: You don't need any means. Our forefathers and their wives never did, that's how you will go and start looking for wetin go put you for trouble

The bible's way is the best way if both parties are like minded. The bible's grounds for divorce is adultery only. I am all for abstaining if they are prepared to stay together through ED and impotency and childlessness and etc. For some strange reason when these issues rear their ugly heads these same Christians start telling you they are also grounds for divorce. No they are not.

jennykadry: Please people should not see my posts as being judgmental or hypocritical. This is not a who will go to hell thread and who wouldn't. We are all adults and are able to take responsibility for our actions, however, if we are to go the christian way, fornication before marriage is a sin.

The fact that all christians are hypocrites should not make you join them in the bandwagon. The fact that others are doing worse does not mean you should do same

jenny, the biblical definition of fornication cannot apply in the 21st century. 2000 years ago, it would take the sickest of minds to be perverted. women were covered from head to toe unlike now.....

according to the bible, lusting with the mind is fornication and it has the same gravity as sëxual intercöurse. going by that logic, who hasn't fornicated? when the bible was written, you see the panties before the bütt. in the 21st century, you see the bütt before the panties.

Osisi! Can i ask you a question. If (GOD forbid oo!) your husband have prostrate now what will you do? Be sincere oo. Remember you test-drived him before marriage oo! But prostrate can occur at any time in a man's life. If he now have this prostrate what will you do?

babyosisi:

We know that
Every man beyond 45 starts to experience some decrease in performance ( some worse than others sha)
That is natural
We can manage that one
If you could go thrice in one night and now your engine can only take one,that is still a pass mark
That is why people should try to marry a man when he is not older than 30
That way you get enough mileage out of him before the laws of diminishing returns set in

God forbid he develops high blood pressure and diabetes plus prostate issues ,maybe na look u go dey look the thing and remember once upon a time
Not my portion IJMN

byvan:


Nne afia akpa enweghi isi,chacha!!!

I be igbo but this one pass me o!
Break it down pls!!!

If you sabi climb 30 mins straight before cu.mm...ing and you no get monè you're still a loser.

Wait for your time and build yourselves together during courtship, WAIT and respect yourself. Because some 70s & Early 80s folks did it doesn't make it Right.... Y'all know better now. WAIT!!

*Runs out of thread*

debrief08:
Anyway fastforward to after the wedding, Oh boy, that was when I learnt the beauty and awesomeness of S3x, I never knew women also got MouthAction till that day, I always believed that only men got touched and the works down under, he went down on me that night, and I had what I assumed was a mini stroke, I was confused, disoriented, I was telling him to stop because I was dying and yet felt a sweetness I never knew existed.
The crazy man gave me a smug grin as if to say "see what you don dey miss"

Goodness gracious...

donchris999: Osisi! Can i ask you a question. If (GOD forbid oo!) your husband have prostrate now what will you do? Be sincere oo. Remember you test-drived him before marriage oo! But prostrate can occur at any time in a man's life. If he now have this prostrate what will you do?

At this present time,I will still love him without Blokoss kpa kpaa ( God forbid o, I want it intact)
Have I answered your kweshon

coogar:

jenny, the biblical definition of fornication cannot apply in the 21st century. 2000 years ago, it would take the sickest of minds to be perverted. women were covered from head to toe unlike now.....

according to the bible, lusting with the mind is fornication and it has the same gravity as sëxual intercöurse. going by that logic, who hasn't fornicated? when the bible was written, you see the panties before the bütt. in the 21st century, you see the bütt before the panties.

But the bible hasn't changed and will never change. And FYI, we had as much sex...ual perverts 2000 years ago as we have now. Remember the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah, a story of two towns where the people gave themselves up to sex...ual immorality and perversion. So you see, se.x outside marriage is still a sin and shouldn't be used to weigh the JT of a prospective husband.

Written by a man, from a man's perspective because it's a man's world abi?

Stop skirting around the issue and proffer some realistic, real-life solutions, will you? I've stated very clearly in my post why I advocate for pre-marital sex, yes, pre-marital sex with your intended partner before tying that knot. Call what you may, I would rather prevent an easily avoidable issue from occurring in the first place, than running around like a headless chicken looking for a cure to something that need not have happened in the first place, only if I went in with my eyes wide open, as opposed to burying my head in the sand like the proverbial ostrich!

Admonition:

I quite understood the premises of your argument. From human/fleshly point of view, you are correct with your reasoning at least as a human being because of our depraved nature.

Excuse me!

What's depraved about sex between two people intending to tie the knot?? Do you understand the meaning of that word 'depraved'? You do know that it means corrupt, immoral, filthy, licentious, dirty-minded, filthy, vile, wanton, to name a few.

So from what you've just typed, sex is all of the above and must be avoided by all cost. Incredible! Now we're beginning to see what lies behind the mask.

Admonition:
The truth is that we cannot entirely satisfy the flesh. Her demands is insatiable. Our reasoning, intellectual knowledge, exposure and education cannot change what God says is sin. The First time probably that you test run the first man that humbled you, there was a part of your conscience that felt guilty and that condemned you.

Speak for yourself. Not for others.

Admonition:
That was the part of God that reminded you what you did was bad. Sex is good and God wanted us to enjoy it but legitimately. The truth is that Devil and the Flesh wanted us to satisfy our legitimate desires in an illegitimate ways so it can be called sins. So that the Judgement of God can fall upon us. So we can loose Gods favour. See the problem we have is that about 80% of us Christians are carnal. We do not entirely trust God that He is able to provide the best for us. I repeat God can never give his children what He knows will not befit them. Why call Him God and Lord, and never keep his commandments. Why do we call Him God and yet we cannot trust Him enough to lead us and provide for us what we really desires. Jesus said if you ask your father bread, will he give you stone? If you ask your father fish, will he give you snake? Your heavenly father knows your need and he will not give you a size that is bigger or smaller than you. God still lead his people today. He guides those who cares to obey Him. He directs their path. He speaks to them as to which man is fake or real. If it reamins 'small' for you to fall into a ditch or an unsecere man, He will let you kow. He has provided a way for us to know what lies in the future.

Really? And what way is this, if you don't mind my asking?

Because the way I see it, and this is the premise of the argument here, test driving is one good way to let yourself know exactly what you're getting into.

So, if you're telling us there is another way, then be more specific and spell it out!

Admonition: We are not in dark anymore. He knows tomorrow, our future and We cannot regret if we truly let God lead us. We do not need to use fleshly sin to compliment God. Many things about tomorrow, I may not seem to understand. but the one who holds tomorrow is the one who holds our hands. You cannot by flesh, sin, sampling, test driving know entirely what lies in tomorrow/in a man or woman. You can only envisage and yet it will never last. Those who have tried these things as Christians, some regrets today because all that glitters in the flesh is just but for a momentary pleasures. I pray God help everyone reading this to understand that When we build our Trust in God, He is able to carry us through safely to a place of safety, satisfaction and unending joy not only in heaven but in this world

So much waffle up there. You do not know tomorrow. So? Does that mean you'll sit down folding your arms across your chest because 'you don't know tomorrow'? You've been given a brain, so why not use it? God helps those who help themselves.

Anyway, having said all that, pray, do tell me, what solution(s) do you have for those men & women? To fast and pray? Yes? but for how long? Till thy kingdom come?

Infact, come to think of it, going by this last bit of your post, what would you say about the numerous threads opened up in this section by married women close to breaking point because of sexual incompatibility with their husbands? To the point where they've thrown up their hands in the air and just want to throw in the trowel? I'm sure many of them went into their marriages in blind fate. The same blind fate you so hotly advocate for. Mind you, it could be that those women on the other end of the spectrum are frigid, unresponsive and boring in bed...they probably just lie back waiting for the man to 'finish'. I don't know about you, but many hot blooded men DO NOT WANT a sack of potatoes in bed. They want a living, responsive and adventurous partner. When they don't get that from wifey, they look outside for that girlfriend who is all to willing to meet the man's needs.

At the end of the day, every 'normal' man wants a wife who can perform like an ashi in bed and is open to experimenting new stuff, else sex becomes monotonous, boring and eventually becomes just another 'duty'.

Its good to see several guys on here that don't subscribe to sex before marriage. We know in reality its the other way around most times. Are the guys here the good guys or guys who learnt from mistakes or guys who believe wholly the Bible standpoint and practice it as they argue it? Just wondering because even withinthe church many really do not sound like this.

Has ileobatojo & sisikill commented yet?

Reminds me of the ''Get pregnant before tying the knot thread'' = Blackmail / Victimized .

Curious to read their diagnosis posts

Ha! Talk of the Q ... I see her down there

Are you now saying blockoss is not neccesary again? So, you can love your man without sex? I thought your aim of this thread is to make sure the man you love is sexually intact? Now you can love without blockoss. In one of your post on this thread you were saying love cannot guarantee your sticking to a man if he is not sexually fit. So sex dont matter anylonger, what matters now is love. Anyway all man for himself ooo!

babyosisi:

At this present time,I will still love him without Blokoss kpa kpaa ( God forbid o, I want it intact)
Have I answered your kweshon

spoilt: Its good to see several guys on here that don't subscribe to sex before marriage. We know in reality its the other way around most times. Are the guys here the good guys or guys who learnt from mistakes or guys who believe wholly the Bible standpoint and practice it as they argue it? Just wondering because even withinthe church many really do not sound like this.

It's called hypocrisy - of the highest order attainable.

Most of the folks here against pre-maritial sex most certainly did not / do not practise what they preach. If abstinence is such a virtue, then why oh why did they give into the 'sinful, depraved' flesh??

Efemena_xy:

It's called hypocrisy - of the highest order attainable.

Most of the folks here against pre-maritial sex most certainly did not / do not practise what they preach. If abstinence is such a virtue, then why oh why did they give into the 'sinful, depraved' flesh??

I think spoilt has been so spoilt she became gullible in the process!

Those who so hotly advocate this abstinence should bring it closer to home for it to make meaning. Quoting the word is fine but did you live it? All the way? How did it work out for you? Some have admitted they ate the fruit and decided to embark on secondary celibacy. Others made it to the marriage bed intact and confessed it wasn't easy. To those who are quoting the Bible and pointing to spiritual paths are you voicing what you know to be right but didn't keep to yourself? Has it been easy? Has your partner been supportive? Are you in agreement? Are you a hypocrite? No comment? Lol. Some people have their spouses and people that know their nairaland Id here. Honesty is not in their best interest. Online forums provide anonymity and real life should be tendered with Bible quotes.