BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) - Literature (5) - Nairaland
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| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by bingbagbo(m): 6:52am On Jul 09, 2013 |
[b]Bunmioguns' family was not left out as they were great maize farmers. What annoyed the family was their father Bunmioguns who would not go to the farm to work. Anytime it was time to go to the farm, he would fall sick, but the moment food was ready he would be fit again. Often, when the family went to farm, he went to his friend, Guapo's house to play draught and drink alcohol. Guapo himself was a lazier man and had no farm .He was always in debts. Bunmioguns was a very good draught player and often defeated Guapo. They were discussing Guapo's up-coming fight with seun the drunkard. " Bunmi, how do i win this one?" Guapo asked in a sad way. Bunmioguns suggested they consulted Okija juju for spiritual cleansing and empowerment. Guapo obliged readily as he knew the fight would be very difficult if he faced it physically, more so he could not afford loosing his dream Mukina. Guapo was so much in love with Mukina to the extent that he mentioned his name over a thousand times daily. He mentioned Mukina's name when he slept, woke, bathed, used the toilet, ate , drank, sneezed, coughed, massturbbated and conversed. On the average, Guapo saw Mukina three times a night in his dreams. He often saw Mukina take her bath in his dream and whenever he woke up from such dreams , he was hard.[/b] |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by Popowaa: 7:20am On Jul 09, 2013 |
Mr Cork what kind of classes do u offer for only female student? Love the story to bits. |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by Aafulenu(f): 7:27am On Jul 09, 2013 |
Mzdarkskin spent the entire night in Mr Cork's house learning. She was studying very hard   i guess she really is studying hard lol |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by bunmioguns(m): 11:23am On Jul 09, 2013 |
bin gbagbo: Bunmioguns' family was not left out as they were great maize farmers. What annoyed the family was their father [b]Bunmioguns who would not go to the farm to work. Anytime it was time to go to the farm, he would fall sick, but the moment food was ready he would be fit again. Often[/font][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font], when the family went to farm, he went to his friend, Guapo's house to play draught and drink alcohol. Guapo himself was a lazier man and had no farm .He was always in debts. Bunmioguns was a very good draught player and often defeated Guapo. They were discussing Guapo's up-coming fight with seun the drunkard. " Bunmi, how do i win this one?" Guapo asked in a sad way. Bunmioguns suggested they consulted Okija juju for spiritual cleansing and empowerment. Guapo obliged readily as he knew the fight would be very difficult if he faced it physically, more so he could not afford loosing his dream Mukina. Guapo was so much in love with Mukina to the extent that he mentioned his name over a thousand times daily. He mentioned Mukina's name when he slept, woke, bathed, used the toilet, ate , drank, sneezed, coughed, massturbbated and conversed. On the average, Guapo saw Mukina three times a night in his dreams. He often saw Mukina take her bath in his dream and whenever he woke up from such dreams , he was hard.[/b] Crazy Guy |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by ocephraim(m): 12:23pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
bin gbagbo: It was even rumoured that there were days Mzdarkskin spent the entire night in Mr Cork's house learning. [size=16pt]She was studying very hard.[/size] Yh ryt!! |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by segunjowo(m): 1:16pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Wonderful. Bin Gbago is such a creative talent. I mean, to think Mukina a widow already at her age? God help Seun o! So he doesn't kaput before his time..with Mukina. Hehehe.. Na joke I de joke o! Keep it up, bro! |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by Agrika: 2:00pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Wow |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by bingbagbo(m): 4:16pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
segunjowo: |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by psky: 4:49pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Nice so far, I'm rooting for seun to win the wrestling contest, no dibia can stop our oga at the top! |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by Nobody: 5:09pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Wow, i love this creativity, bin mehn you re gud o. 1 Like |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by MaziOmenuko: 5:55pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
princesa: clowns have taken over our section Hahahaha!!! Stole our idea from Deagesy's thread and started something funny! I wonder what Deagasy will be thinking now! Poor lad! Enjoying the story shaa. I know where this thread would have been thrown to if I had started something like this. Good work gbagbo |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by bingbagbo(m): 6:04pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Mazi_Omenuko:  |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by Mynd44: 6:07pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Mazi_Omenuko: Stop making allegations that are baseless and unproven 1 Like |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by psky: 6:09pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Mazi_Omenuko: Ofcourse everybody knows where it would have been thrown to: religion section! On a serious note it would have been really funny. Born2fuck would probably have been born to f#ck, bigvagina would have a big v#gina, and seskiss would have been killed by s#x. It's never to late bro, go on. Let the NL fanfiction keep rolling. |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by Neduzze5(m): 6:19pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Mynd_44: I think he's saying the truth. Should I paste the link? |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by Mynd44: 6:20pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Neduzze5:Please do |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by Neduzze5(m): 6:25pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by Mynd44: 6:33pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Neduzze5:There is still no proof that he did 1 Like |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by Neduzze5(m): 6:38pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Mynd_44: Let's not derail this thread |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by Danhumprey: 7:02pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Pls include Mazi Omenuko,he could play as the village cassanova. And also Princesa,she could play the village prostitute.  and also HumbledbyGrace,she can play the village reverend sister. Also include Ishilove,the writer with big grammars,she can fit in as Mr.Cork assistant in the school. 1 Like |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by dubem3(m): 7:18pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Neduzze5: Do you know the story of the prospective in-law that joined a meal without first staying his intentions? 1 Like |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by bingbagbo(m): 7:28pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
dubem3:  https://www.nairaland.com/1352947/please-it-offence-drive-unclad |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by BUSHYANUS(m): 8:10pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
Bingbagbo i hate you, but i give it to you for this one, u try well a fooool |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by MrTAnonymous(m): 8:47pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
bin gbagbo: [color=#990000][i][b]The chief CFCfan with his elders like Otumfuor, Bashydemy, T.ANONYMOUS,Abu Mikey and the rest welcomed himI'M AN ELDER?  |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by bingbagbo(m): 2:05pm On Jul 10, 2013 |
[b]Early next morning, the wives of Bunmioguns had woken up to prepare for the farm. Freecocoa and Pretiebony were the first to wake up. Booqee woke later, as she was still pregnant. Pretiebony went to wake up Bunmioguns, but as usual, he said he was sick. All the children went to the farm since it was not a school day. The moment they got the farm, Lagusta went to inspect his trap. He got there and realised the trap caught a game but somebody had come to steal it. " so who is this thief that for three consecutive weeks been stealing meat from my trap? " Lagusta screamed. On the farm, everybody was working hard apart from 190, who obviously took after his father. He worked like an ant but ate like an elephant. All the same, the family had covered several acres of land with maize, perhaps the largest in KetewPomponi. Back in the house, Bunmioguns had been joined by Guapo and were preparing to go to Okija shrine after drinking six gourds of palmwine. Ode remo, one of the numerous madmen in KetewPomponi was in Bunmioguns' house. " give me meat" ode remo asked. Bunmioguns and Guapo were on the ground laughing. " i said give me meat, or i will shit on your compound", ode remo added. The moment he mentioned shit, Bunmioguns made for the kitchen and brought the madman a piece of meat. He did because he knew ode remo the madman very well. Anytime he threatened to shit, he did not fail. After taking the meat, ode remo left the compound. Then the friends set out to the Okija shrine. Even before they spoke, Okija knew their mission, so he told them, " i know you are here because of the fight, because you want to marry mukina". Guapo and Bunmioguns were not shocked as they knew about the powers of Okija very well. However, Okija asked Guapo to bring a number of items, to prepare a concoction for him in order to win the up-coming wrestling for Mukina. The items included Mukina's armpit hair, a frog's heart, a madman's early morning shit and an old woman's urine, " with these items, you will defeat the man from toto-igwe " Okija said.[/b] 2 Likes |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by Madawaki01(m): 2:29pm On Jul 10, 2013 |
Lol Ishiloves early mornin urine |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by bingbagbo(m): 2:32pm On Jul 10, 2013 |
[b]The two friends left the shrine with mixed feelings. They trusted Okija's rituals but were wondering how to fetch the items they had been asked to find. Then Bunmioguns brought an idea. They were going to get the old woman's urine from Idowuogbo, mother of the chief of the village. She loved coconuts, and they knew once she took lots of coconuts, she would definitely urinate. Then ode remo would get them the madman's shit, with Olaadegbu tasked to bring the heart of the frog. What was left was getting Mukina's hair. Whilst they were pondering over getting Mukina's armpit hair, Bunmioguns remembered his son Bushy-anus' girlfriend was Popowaa, who was daughter of Mukina. In the evening, Bushy-anus was back from the Farm, his father convinced him, to let his girlfriend Popowaa shave parts of her mother's armpit hair for him, for something very important. Very early in the morning, Bushy-anus submitted a leaf containing hairs to his father. He quickly left for El guapo's house with joy, " i got the hair, i got the hair, i got the hair ". They were next in Idowuogbo's house. They presented coconuts to the mother of the chief, who began eating with excitements. When she was taking her sixth coconut, she noticed the two men murmuring. " What is it?" Idowuogbo asked angrily and Bunmioguns replied " please, i cannot tell you that, we may be banished". Idowuogbo after series of threats finally coerced Bunmioguns to say what the murmuring was all about, " please ma, erm...my friend here was saying you too like coconuts, but please we are sorry, we are ready to do any anything you ask us to....please dont report us to the chief, punish us yourself". Idowuogbo growing angrier then asked " ok, tell me what i should do to you?",she did not land when both men together replied " ma please urinate into our mouth ". Idowuogbo took both men into her bathroom and urinated into their mouths. The men kept the urine in their mouths till they got to Guapo's house and poured it into a calabash. Soon they came across ode remo the mad man, and ode as usual screamed " hey you, give me meat or i will shit here!". Bunmioguns quickly replied " we no go give you anything, do your worst..", he didnt land and already Ode remo had left a mountain of fresh madman's shit on the ground. When all the materials requested were intact, the men left for Okija juju's shrine.[/b] 1 Like |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by plainmirror(m): 2:33pm On Jul 10, 2013 |
Followin' |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by plainmirror(m): 2:39pm On Jul 10, 2013 |
Bumper 2 fhender |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by bingbagbo(m): 2:39pm On Jul 10, 2013 |
plainmirror: Followin' view this one too ;Dhttp://www.nairaland.com/1326345/story-full |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by bingbagbo(m): 2:40pm On Jul 10, 2013 |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( Fiction With Nairaland Characters) by Popowaa: 4:22pm On Jul 10, 2013 |
Hipeeeee.bin u shd edit ur latest update.I'm i mukina or idowuogbo's daughter? |
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