My Home Is Breaking - Family - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Home Is Breaking (11884 Views)
How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? / Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? / My Husbands Brother Is Breaking My Marriage (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply) (Go Down)
| My Home Is Breaking by Sweetmom115: 4:06am On Jul 16, 2013 |
My husband & I are based in hull United Kingdom & we love one another dearly during our dating time he knew I was a Muslim, we had our first baby (Kate) only recently he started actin cold towards me insisting I've 2change to Christian I was vry angry about it. I was angry because he never discuss this with me in the beginning, I need your sincere advice towards this issue HOUSE. Is it important for a wife to practice her husband religion at all?. Also I would be glad if this make it to the front page. Thanks |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by Billionaires: 4:27am On Jul 16, 2013 |
There are more reasons you should change to Christianity, but it has to be your choice finally, one can only advise. 1 Like |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by AbdulAdam56(m): 5:37am On Jul 16, 2013 |
No dont convert.Why would he?sister being a muslim is a pleasure.i pray Allah will see you through this. 5 Likes |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by ochallo: 5:39am On Jul 16, 2013 |
I would say the same thing, i said in a similar thread requesting that his wife stop wearing trousers, african husbands are so different from african boyfriends amd fiances. During courtship, she can do no wrong, then during marriage, you start comparing her to some other person and start bringing up selfish and self centered laws to make you look better. Let her be, if he wants her to change, he should simply pray about it and advise her , not lord it over her. 2 Likes |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by Chibuhealth(f): 6:41am On Jul 16, 2013 |
Are u a leaner woman? Who told you that a woman has church if not dat of her husband? You better follow him to church or go back to you father's house. You must be under your man! 11 Likes |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by obowunmi(m): 6:48am On Jul 16, 2013 |
Seriously is it by force to marry? You married him knowing that he's Christian Why didn't u marry one of your kind? 8 Likes |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by RoyalRoy(m): 6:54am On Jul 16, 2013 |
Sweetmom115: My husband & I are based in hull United Kingdom & we love one another dearly during our dating time he knew I was a Muslim, we had our first baby (Kate) only recently he started actin cold towards me insisting I've 2change to Christian I was vry angry about it. I was angry because he never discuss this with me in the beginning, I need your sincere advice towards this issue HOUSE. Is it important for a wife to practice her husband religion at all?. Also I would be glad if this make it to the front page. Front page will only bring kids & jesters to your thread!! It will be messed up seriously!!! I believe you married ur husband with the knowledge that he is a Christian, & vice versa!! Such demand should have been anticipated! But remember, it should be from ur own personal conviction & not because he wants it. Let him know, u can force the horse to the river, but you can't force it to drink water! 2 Likes |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by slimyem: 6:58am On Jul 16, 2013 |
obowunmi: Seriously is it by force to marry? You married him knowing that he's ChristianGood question!! Inter-religious marriages should be a NO NO! They are usually disasters waiting to happen. 2 Likes |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by omiobo: 7:13am On Jul 16, 2013 |
He should not force it. It is a matter of choice but OP,you have to take caution if you love your family. I won't advice you to break up. Fight of religion is not an easy fight. Honestly,it is your decision. My wife is a muslim,I refused all pressure from my family to force her to change. I believe if God will, she will change. I put it on God. It is not my fight. We do things together, we pray and read bible together. Sometimes I invite her to our special programme in church. Understanding matters in every relationship. 4 Likes |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by RoyalRoy(m): 7:17am On Jul 16, 2013 |
obowunmi: omiobo: Friends.......or Family members? 3 Likes |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by RoyalRoy(m): 7:19am On Jul 16, 2013 |
omiobo: He should not force it. It is a matter of choice but OP,you have to take caution if you love your family. I won't advice you to break up. Fight of religion is not an easy fight. Honestly,it is your decision. Hehehe!!! |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by omiobo: 7:30am On Jul 16, 2013 |
Royal Roy: Yeah! That's where the pressure comes from. 1 Like |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by Bigcake: 7:31am On Jul 16, 2013 |
Abdul Adam56: No dont convert.Why would he?sister being a muslim is a pleasure.i pray Allah will see you through this.My Brother, its only JESUS dat can save. Just try Him today n u wont regret. 3 Likes |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by EfemenaXY: 7:39am On Jul 16, 2013 |
Sweetmom115: My husband & I are based in hull United Kingdom & we love one another dearly during our dating time he knew I was a Muslim, we had our first baby (Kate) only recently he started actin cold towards me insisting I've 2change to Christian I was vry angry about it. I was angry because he never discuss this with me in the beginning, I need your sincere advice towards this issue HOUSE. Is it important for a wife to practice her husband religion at all?. Also I would be glad if this make it to the front page. Hind sight is indeed a good thing when you look back in retrospect, gnawing and wringing your hands, while lamenting: If only I'd known! You made a very big mistake here, by not discussing and thrashing this out thoroughly with your man before getting hitched. I don't know how it is in Islam, but even in Christianity, it can prove tricky for spouses from different denominations. Take I and hubby for example, our backgrounds are Catholic and Jehovah's witnesses. So right from the very beginning, the very first letter we exchanged (er...no Facebook, internet as per say, or even mobile phones were available those days...), this issue was discussed. Despite the blinding love-love shooking us then, I knew this was a serious topic / issue that had to be solved there and then before progressing further with the relationship. ~ Same thing for finance. These things must be brought to the table at the onset, when the love is blindingly strong,to prevent any unpleasant surprises later on in the union. I know this isn't of much help to you now, but I hope your situation serves as a warning and lesson to those intending to tie the knot from differing religious, financial, social and even cultural backgrounds. Always discuss, discuss, and discuss some more, your differences before getting married. @OP, I'm not really sure what advice I can give to you now, except communicate with your husband. Find out what's brought on this 'sudden' change in attitude to your religion and see if there are changes you can make to accomodate his request? Has it got to do with specific things or practices you adopt? Dressing code? Foods? Prayers? Mode of worship perhaps?? I honestly don't know, but you're the one in this situation, so see if you both can work together on a compromise, or agreement of sorts before this degenerates any further. If none of those suggestions work, then prepare your mind for the worst where you'll have to make a choice between your husband (marriage) and your religion. I sincerely hope it doesn't get to that and that it works out well in the end for you both. Best of luck. 16 Likes |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by Bigcake: 7:40am On Jul 16, 2013 |
My Dear sister, i advice u to convert to Christianity,not for d sake of ur marriage or husband. But for the awesome peace and fulfilment dat will flow in ur dailly life. Try Jesus and u wont regret, most importantly, do not go to any church dat is worldly, tho u may not really understand wat i mean by worldly Church at dis instance of not being a convert yet. I will sugest u attend Deeperlife Bible Church or a Church of such standard. Am not a deeperlife member but i salute their standard. Attend dat Church and receive Jesus as ur personal lord and saviour. May Jesus stand by u. Ur family will never brk rather u will enjoy it more and more in Jesus name amen. 2 Likes |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by RoyalRoy(m): 7:40am On Jul 16, 2013 |
omiobo: Hahaha.....edited signature!!!! Gotcha!!! |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by omiobo: 7:43am On Jul 16, 2013 |
obowunmi: Seriously is it by force to marry? You married him knowing that he's ChristianLearn how to advice without blaming the person. She needs a solution. 1 Like |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by omiobo: 7:46am On Jul 16, 2013 |
Royal Roy:What are u talking about? Are u on bottles this early morning? Don't mind me. I'm only kidding  |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by RoyalRoy(m): 7:49am On Jul 16, 2013 |
@Op....I hope this Ramaddan is not the cause of this recent want of change by hubby? Probably its affecting ur "wifely duties" to him at the moment? If he is having problems with ur fasting then he needs to wake up & smell the coffee!! He knew all these before marrying you!! Communication Communication & more Communication is all I recommend!! 1 Like |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by RoyalRoy(m): 7:49am On Jul 16, 2013 |
omiobo: Lmaooooo....we are on the same page!! |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by vanitty: 8:13am On Jul 16, 2013 |
Yes, It is important for married couple to be singing from the same hymn sheet so yes it is important for couple to practice the same religion. Ever of the popular adage, a couple who prays together stays together?! However hubby is going about it the wrong way, he can "force" you to be a Christian but are you truly saved or just going to church on Sundays for the sake of it. Poster just some questions 1. Was your marriage blessed in a church? 2. Has Hubby ever followed you to the mosque 3. Were your children christened? 1 Like |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by Rhemmymatician(m): 8:24am On Jul 16, 2013 |
vanitty: Yes, It is important for married couple to be singing from the same hymn sheet so yes it is important for couple to practice the same religion. Ever of the popular adage, a couple who prays together stays together?!Good question 1 Like |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by benbrains(m): 9:02am On Jul 16, 2013 |
WE LOVE ONE ANOTHER DEARLY DURING OUR DATING TIME HE KNEW I WAS A MUSLIM Abt dis time, it hadnt dawn on him dat u two would hv to grow togeda, live togeda forever, for a long time, perhaps, never minding what ur religion and some other "not so important" things at d time were. WE HAD OUR FIRST BABY (KATE) AND HE STARTED COLD TOWARDS ME Well, he only realised he had become a father and a soulmate after u guys had ur first baby, and d need to make decisions INSISTING... can two "work" together except they agree? look, I am nt saying dat u agree anythng wth ur husband foolishly. Im jst saying dat u go find out what christianity is, and how it can affect ur home... but to me, the best thng dat can happen to any man, any woman, any home, any marriage is when christianity is honestly embraced. |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by bellong: 10:49am On Jul 16, 2013 |
@Op, You are not the one that needs advice in this case, it is your husband. He was the one who made the mistake and he should be the one to seek counsel to resolve the issue. Being a Christian is more than going to church, I am not in the support of him forcing your conversion. God doesn't work that way. If indeed he is a christian in action and words, I am sure, he will not be in a position of forcing his wife to be a christian, you would have asked him what it takes to be saved. That being said, to save your marriage (if you love him and still want to be with him), reach a compromise with him about when you attend church and also let him understand you will still be praying in your way. Though its not the best of solution but its a compromise you can afford to save your home. I commend you to His grace which is able to save to the end. |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by Princesszoe: 10:51am On Jul 16, 2013 |
[b]THIS IS ALMOST THE SAME ISSUE WE WERE DISCUSSING ON THE OTHER THREAD. A MAN ASKING HIS WIFE TO STOP WEARING TROUSERS. SINGLE PEOPLE SHOULD BE CAREFUL TO OPEN THEIR EYES WIDE DURING COURTSHIP. ANYTHING YOU SAW DURING COURTSHIP AND IGNORED WILL BE DIFFICULT TO AMEND AFTER WEDDING. ANY MAN THAT COMES HOME AND START GIVING A COMMAND TO THE WIFE ASKING HER TO CHANGE FROM WHAT HE KNEW THAT HAS BEEN SINCE THE DAY OF THEIR COURTSHIP IS SELFISH. YOU NEED TO APPLY LOVE, LOVE AND MORE LOVE BECAUSE IT WAS YOUR FAULT AT THE FIRST PLACE SINCE YOU WERE THE ONE THAT WENT UP TO HER FOR MARRIAGE KNOWING QUITE WELL THAT SHE HAS BEEN THAT WAY. YOU DON'T GIVE COMMAND OR MAKE DEMANDS ON THIS TYPE OF ISSUE BECAUSE IS A HARSH WAY TO GO ABOUT SUCH ISSUE WHICH IS VERY SENSITIVE. BIBLICALLY A WOMAN IS MEANT TO BE SUBMISSIVE(IN THE LORD AND NOT IN SELFISHNESS) WHILE THE MAN IS MEANT TO LOVE LIKE HIS BODY. BUT SOME MEN DO NOT KNOWN THAT ONE CAN ACTUALLY BE SUBMISSIVE WITHOUT LOVING AND ALSO THAT SUBMISSIVENESS IS ONE OF THE INGREDIENTS OF LOVE. WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY? IF YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO JUST GO AHEAD AND AGREE IN SUBMISSION IN EVERYTHING YOU DEMAND(WHICH IS HARSH) SHE MIGHT DO THAT AS A SERVANT AND NOT AS YOUR PARTNER(BECAUSE PARTNERS DO NOT USE COMMAND NOR FORCE, THEY USE SUGGESTIONS AND EXERCISE PATIENCE) A SERVANT WILL BE SUBMISSIVE TO THE OGA BUT HE STEALS FROM HIM. A SERVANT WILL BE SUBMISSIVE TO HIS OGA BUT HE CAN BE SLEEPING WITH OGA'S WIFE. A SERVANT CAN ALSO BE SUBMISSIVE TO OGA BUT CAN USE CHARMS ON HIS OGA. REMEMBER WE ARE DEALING ON SUBMISSIVENESS AS A SERVANT HERE.BUT SUBMISSIVENESS BY LOVE AND BY WILLINGNESS CAN NOT AND WILL NOT BE HARMFUL. THAT IS EXACTLY WHY YOU DO NOT ORDER YOUR WIFE OR DEMAND FROM HER OF A CHANGE BECAUSE IT IS HARSH. THE MAN WAS ASKED TO LOVE HIS WIFE LIKE HIS BODY. NOW IF YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE LIKE YOUR OWN BODY, YOU WILL BE SOMEHOW SUBMISSIVE TO HER WITHOUT YOU KNOWING IT. LOVE IS WHERE THE WHOLE WORK LIES YET SOME MEN DO NOT KNOW THIS. THE BIBLE SAYS THAT, LOVE ENDURES,LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE DOES NOT SEEK HIS OWN (I.E DEMANDING THINGS FOR HIS OWN REASONS OR PLEASE HIMSELF), LOVE FORGIVES ALL THINGS, IN FACT BIBLE LISTED A LOT OF QUALITIES OF LOVE WHICH AUTOMATICALLY PLACES THE MAN AS A GATHERER AND AN ENDURING AND MORE FORGIVING IMAGE. KNOWLEDGE THEY SAY IS POWER. SINGLE LADIES SHOULD MAKE SURE THEY MARRY A MAN THAT UNDERSTANDS THE INSTRUCTION GIVEN TO HUSBANDS AND WIVES BY GOD AND ALSO KNOWS THE RIGHT INTERPRETATION TO IT IN WHICH THE HOLY SPIRIT IS SUPPOSE TO BE THE ONE SHEDDING THE LIGHT OF INTERPRETATION. OP CHRISTIANITY IS THE BEST THAT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU. JUST GET A GOOD BIBLE AND START STUDYING, THE LIGHT OF GOD WILL SHINE INTO YOUR HEART TO EXPLAIN MORE TO YOU.[/b][color=#990000][/color] 3 Likes |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by sexymoma(f): 10:52am On Jul 16, 2013 |
Abdul Adam56: No dont convert.Why would he?sister being a muslim is a pleasure.i pray Allah will see you through this.ehm uncle put yourself in the guy's shoe, would you allow your legally married wife to practice a religion that is different from yours in the same roof with you  My sister i left someone i truely love just because of this issue, i know when we get married things would change, he would surely change his words, dont you know that when in courtship we make promises just to keep the one we love. my advise for you is to pray, but wait is there anything bad in practicing your hubby's religion |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by obowunmi(m): 11:05am On Jul 16, 2013 |
Royal Roy: Nairaland support staff. |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by Temismith(f): 3:56pm On Jul 16, 2013 |
Hmm.....  |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by Temismith(f): 4:00pm On Jul 16, 2013 |
All dis terrorists advising u and gingering ur anger and aggression, hope dey wont be d ones to show u out of ur home? |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by Nobody: 4:28pm On Jul 16, 2013 |
Sweetmom115: My husband & I are based in hull United Kingdom & we love one another dearly during our dating time he knew I was a Muslim, we had our first baby (Kate) only recently he started actin cold towards me insisting I've 2change to Christian I was vry angry about it. I was angry because he never discuss this with me in the beginning, I need your sincere advice towards this issue HOUSE. Is it important for a wife to practice her husband religion at all?. Also I would be glad if this make it to the front page. I doubt that your husband just woke up one morning and demanded that you change religion . . . You are a Nigerian woman, you should know the culture, a woman 'follows' her husband and that's that! With the havoc the islamic religion is causing in Nigeria now, I don't blame him for not wanting his family to grow up in a muslim environment. And to answer your question, YES it is very important that a family adopts one religion and rolls with it. Unity is the world here. How will you feel when you are on Ramadan fasting and your husband is flaunting his food or how will he feel when you start throwing parties during lent What message will you be sending to your children Be wise sis! |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by biolabee(m): 4:51pm On Jul 16, 2013 |
first na trouser now na islamic tinz i wonder what they discuss on courtship nowadays.. grumbles out of thread 2 Likes |
| Re: My Home Is Breaking by Nobody: 5:37pm On Jul 16, 2013 |
biolabee: first na trouser now na islamic tinzI love u pass my parents.I can do anything for u bebe,ur wish is my command,oh he is sooo coool,look at his nose,legs and abs etc The list is endless! 4 Likes |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply)
What's The Best Advice On This Matter? / Pictures Of Dance Queen, Olufunke Ayotunde Kafayat `kaffy` Wedding To Joe Ameh / I Won't Circumcise My Baby Boy (If Any)
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 75 |