Seven traits to watch out for in a potential spouse so that I DO will not become I DON’T

I know that there are no perfect persons and we are all projects in the hands of God, however there are basic traits to watch out for generally. While you may not be able to find a person that successfully combines all these, the qualities should guide you in your decision. If a person does not have character defect and he does not live in habitual sin, some of these qualities can be improved upon by asking God for His grace.

1.    The test of integrity.
Test him for faithfulness and integrity in little and big things. Make sure she has integrity and her
words and actions line up. Integrity is very important because that is what will eventually preserve you.

The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. (Pro 11:3 KJV)

God loves integrity. In Job 2:3, God boasted about Job and he mentioned his integrity. Integrity in that verse means ‘innocence’

The potential guy or the lady must have integrity as well. It is a great legacy to pass to the children. Integrity is from the word ‘Integral” meaning one. You are supposed to be the same person within and without. Don’t marry a gentle saint on Sundays but a vicious
man on Mondays. Be careful of dual personalities who seemed to give their lives to Jesus one moment and then take the lives back the next moment. How will you know all these? These are the things you will find out when you are friends. 

That is why pre-marital sex should be avoided because it will get you confused and distracted. You see, the moment you are illegally bonded together in pre-marital sex, the obvious character defects that other can see will mean nothing to you. They will ask you questions like, “What are you doing with that kind of person?” And you will be like, 'leave me alone, I love him, he will change! You see, you have not even changed yourself! You are not the Holy Spirit who changes people! What the scripture says is that that you should not be unequally yoked!


Don't become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That's not partnership; that's war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? (2Co 6:14-15 MSG)

  2.   The test of diligence.  
You cannot afford to marry a lazy man or an indolent woman. It will slow your journey down. Diligence is measured with so many indices like tenacity, business acumen, career pursuit, doggedness and so on. You may not have so much today, but with diligence in a potential spouse, you can be sure you will be great in life.

Do you see a man diligent and skillful in his business? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men.  (Pro 22:29 AMP)

You cannot afford to commit your life into hands of a lazy person. That is subjecting your life to unnecessary afflictions that could have been avoided.

  3.   The test of focus. 
Is he or she focused? Where is his passion? A visionless man is so easy to identify. His speech will betray him because the mouth speaks out of the abundance of the heart. Once you know a particular friendship is getting deepened, ask a lot of questions when you can still reason well before emotions take over. The world is full of people who will readily compromise and who lack focus. You haven’t been together for long and he or she is already asking for sex? That is gross irresponsibility. Run from such people, they are not your friends!

Jesus said, "What a generation! No sense of God! No focus to your lives! (Luk 9:41a MSG)

You ask him what his job is, and he says ‘he is planning to travel out of the country.’ ‘Since when?’ ‘Well, for like three years now.’ Is that a job? Why must a young person stop his or her life because of plans to travel?

  4.   The test of sincerity. 
That is openness. Is he sincere about his faults, weaknesses, feelings? Is she willing to talk about them or does pretend? It is dangerous to walk with someone who lives in delusion of grandeur. Some of the most dangerous sets of people are those who are self deceptive. They can abort twenty times and simply use some scriptures to cover up. If it was done in ignorance, that is another thing, because God cleanses you and you can start your life all over again when you genuinely repent. But I am talking of those who have successfully combined this sinful lifestyle with serving God alongside. I don’t care if he is a pastor or she is a minstrel, if he or she uses scriptures to justify a habitual sin that even an unbeliever will often refrain from, you should run from such people and not be joined in their unrepentant sinful adventures.

An insincere guy will lure you into sexual sin and then turn around to say you seduced him. What are you doing with such people? An insincere lady will offer her body to get some money and then turn back to say you forced her. That is nothing short of wickedness. Those are not friends! He says he is a pastor and he slides his hands into your blouse each time you visit his office. I don’t care how much ‘anointing’ you think he has, he is a charlatan! What counseling are you looking for with such people, run for your life because there are counsels that can cancel destinies.

5.   The test of people skill. 
That is respect for individuals. People are like ladders. Does he treat people well? How about his mum, sisters, father, colleagues, etc Is she courteous? Is she respectful? Does she disdain with folk with a passion?

6.   The test of excellence. 
That is wisdom. Is he hungry for wisdom or does he think he knows it all? A friend who isolates himself will crash. He or she cannot be corrected. There are no authority figures that can speak to him or her. Let me tell you something here. The moment you look at a person and there is nobody you can report him to, there are no regards for parents or pastors, he is just an island by himself, you need to reconsider such friendships. It is a trap of the devil and such tendencies are symptomatic of an unhealthy outlook to life. 

7.   The test of God’s fear. 
He must love God. She must be a God lover. Does he value God and His word? Does she revere God? This is the ultimate acid test. If he doesn’t love God, he cannot love you! If he treats the things of God shabbily, he will end up treating you the same way. Let him or her be a person that fears God! It is not enough to say one is born again these days, because the term has been grossly misapplied. It is not even enough to say one is a pastor or a choir leader or administrator in church, the question is does he or she fear God? It was the fear of God that made Joseph run away from adultery. It was lack of God’s fear that made Samson with all his anointing to get into sexual sins repeatedly until he brought himself down. God gave him a long rope because the scripture says he judged Israel for twenty years.

A word here for married couples who are in marriage and later discovered that their spouses have changed overnight. I get called about this issue a lot about spouses who are caught in surprise about how their spouses have transformed from a lovely and gentle angel into something else. Well, he or she has always been like that, really.  

Most of the time, it takes two to tango, but I often say that divorce is not a good option. Stay there and fight for your marriage. God can turn it around for good. Pay the price in the place of prayer and redeem your spouse back. If it is not an issue of unrepentant adulterous lifestyle and physical abuse where one’s life is threatened, hang in there and pray for a revival in your home. It is only a job for Jehovah and you should take it to him rather than get sullen and depressed. God will make a way for you. He will turn your mistakes into miracles. He will fill your mouth with laughter

http://www.kissesandhuggsclub.com/2013/07/the-traits-to-watch-out-for-in.html?m=1

Wonderment! Op your post is simply awesome. This is too much. God bless you plenty.

@ OP, so if the person fail one no be my soulmate abi? If na so U dey use do ur own na him be say b4 U go marry U go drag shaving stick with Wole Soyinka. EVERY MARRIAGE IS A WORK IN PROGRESS

Hmmm

Well done op.you are on point.

Way to go...at least they are not physical things....

Princess zoe: Wonderment! Op your post is simply awesome. This is too much. God bless you plenty.

⌣̶·̵̭̌·̵̭̌✽̤̈̊ŧђɑ̤̥̈̊п̥̥̲̣̣̣kƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇✽̤̈̊·̵̭̌·̵̶̭̌⌣

Go out there & get a life. All these points enslave u

very good pointers.....nlers dont like truth

If u kip searchin for a partner wit dis complete 7point, u will neva marry o.

Thanks a lot.
God's blessings.

Nice write-up, although I think it might be kinda hard to find someone with all seven. If a person has point no 7 and 1, they are good enough for me.

Lalasticlal do your work