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Re: Is This Not Infidelity by Nobody: 5:12pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
bukatyne: Exactly. Don't assume what 'feminists' will tell someone to do until they do so. Imagine? I wonder what incentive one would have for posting an opinion that is not truly theirs? Common sense would dictate that a wife who wronged her hubby would apologize not so? Say it loud! COMMON SENSE being the active words here. |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by Nobody: 5:14pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
I rest my case! 1 Like |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by bukatyne(f): 5:27pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
alutacontinua: I rest my case! Why na? |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by biolabee(m): 5:34pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
Interesting comments on the african male, if the western men are so perfect and share tasks 50/50, how come the divorce rate is so high remember i asked you on the pro/con debate,.. if only one person's ideas are alway consistently more sound, will there not be resentment from the other party bukatyne: |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by Nobody: 5:40pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
Better that than making unfounded, inflammatory assertions! |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by TV01(m): 5:49pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
bukatyne: Can one be a "Christian first" and then something that is contrary to Christianity second? That makes you neither fish nor fowl. Please think about that. Indeed, your writing betrays the fact that you adopt procrustean means to make your Christianity fit your feminism. You never actually answered Aluta' question on what equality meant. Further you are unable to decouple "equality" and "submission". Evidenced by your last quote below and a clear pointer of your supposed faith warring - and perhaps losing - to your ideology bukatyne: What is it that warrants rudeness however you define equality? bukatyne: And here is the rub. Submission is not in view here is it? What's the tie-braker. Any power of veto by the male head? bukatyne: Again you hit a brick wall trying to reconcile two disparate concepts, one of which you have been unable to define, the other that is anathema to your feminist ideolgy. And finally you conclude. You are equal (whatever equality means). All Christians submit to one another, ergo you submit to no one. I won't ask you to expound on that particular scripture in context, as I fear you'd read it through your ideological lens I am not sure what faith or ideology Aluta subscribes to, but imho she is certainly closer to the Christian truth here, and rightly rested her case. I'll wait to see if I should do likewise. TV |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by bukatyne(f): 5:50pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
biolabee: Interesting comments It was Aluta that brought African men into the jist. She said a true feminist should not marry an African man As for the pro/con debate, I will give a recent example... We are planning where to live after marriage... I so wanted Agungi bços it is relatively near my office. He said Sango tedo that houses are cheaper bla bla... I said no way! It would mean waking up so early to work and coming back very late every day. He later said Ajah and I still wanted Agungi. We started scouting for houses and oh boy! it is expensive. I was like we would run a very tight saving plan till marriage but it would still not work. I had to see from his eyes and understand that it would make no sense getting such an expensive apartment since we both just started working. We have settled for Ajah (his decision) after viewing all sides and picking the best irrespective of whose idea it is |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by bukatyne(f): 5:52pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
TV01: Oga Tv, In summary, what is your post about? |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by biolabee(m): 5:54pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
very good example.... so the man won the argument Lets assume it goes on like that for two years... what next how does that gel with your equality beliefs Say you have to resign due to high costs of childcare as it occurs in the West or you DO NOT want a househelp How is this feminism compatible with your religion that says there shall be a head in marriage |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by biolabee(m): 5:54pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
bukatyne: He is referring to the inherent contradiction between your religion and the concept of feminism |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by TV01(m): 5:58pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
bukatyne: I'm following Aluta' lead here. Case rested - especially based on your penultimate post. TV *I edited my last post slightly. but it still reads essentially the same* |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by Nobody: 5:59pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
biolabee: Interesting comments Had that ^^ argument with hubby for a whole day and it nearly spoilt my vaca. I don't know! You'll need married white folks to do that research. |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by bukatyne(f): 6:01pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
biolabee: very good example.... so the man won the argument This is where your problem is... It's not a win or lose situation, we are not in competition. It is choosing what is best for the both of us. So we are not equal because he has a better idea than mine? I laugh in Spanish! Common sense and wisdom is extremely important in life. If a 2yr old gives me an idea that will better my life, I will grab it fast. If that makes her superior to me, fine I don't want to go back and forth oga. A husband being the head depends on what you both understand headship to mean. Uruguay's Presido is the head.... he donates 90% of his salary to Charity Nigerian's Presido is the head... He uses N1 billion for food allowance It is all perception dear! |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by coogar: 6:06pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
biolabee: Interesting comments i will play the devil's advocate for one hour.... now to your question, the divorce rate is high in the west because there's a big incentive attached to any divorce for the women. if such laws are put in place in africa, the divorce rate in nigeria would get near 100%. it's even your wife herself that would set you up with a mistress so she can get 50% of your wealth.... |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by bukatyne(f): 6:11pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
jidegirl12: The truth is that Nigerian marriages are not better... If all the women who complained their hubby was cheating on NL divorced, The stats will climb real high. Besides, divorce is a modern concept in Nigeria; it's throwing of the wife's load or marrying no 2 to displace her that reigns. |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by TV01(m): 6:11pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
biolabee: very good example.... so the man won the argument Biolabee, you could be more insightful. The "man" did not win the argument. His position was better - in fact hers was unworkable. A true example here would be if both positions seemed of equal merit, who gets to make the call. Who submits? who exercises authority? I'll give you an example; I once dated a girl and pointedly asked her "will you follow my lead". Her response was "if you make sense". You can see that was a "no" right? Red Carded instanta ! TV |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by Nobody: 6:21pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
bukatyne: WOW!! My parents divorced and shared assets tho ( both educated) and that was decades ago in court.... @Mordern concept you implied , are we moving forward or backwards?? |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by Daresh(f): 6:23pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
Mavrick2012: Gooday folks,please i need your candid advice. This man are you possessed? Why would u demand she deletes someone's number from her phone for no reason? Abi she cannot talk to another man? You Kiki timed the call. I see you are a jobless and insecure man ba? Rubbish 2 Likes |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by bukatyne(f): 6:25pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
jidegirl12: Believe me, it's an extreme case... I know a lot of people separated... nothing like court o! We like to pretend too much for Naija. A woman her husband finished beating thoroughly will still be insulting a 30 year old for been single |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by Nobody: 6:25pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
Daresh: |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by EfemenaXY: 6:29pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
Daresh: Are you a new comer here? Do you not realise that, that is more than enough proof that someone is grinding on her something?? |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by Nobody: 6:30pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
bukatyne: Yeah it was extreme and dirty, fire for fire divorce. It has a lot do with individuals involved and how selfish they are. In Nigerian concept , You don't expect a sole earner to compensate someone that stays home 24/7 doing nothing...it's a different ball game in the west esp if there's no prenup. |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by biolabee(m): 6:45pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
bukatyne: I typed won cos im in a hurry n typing on my small fone Won is a bad choice of words.... Answer the rest of the q |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by biolabee(m): 6:52pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
TV01: Noted... I asked her q where the man consistently has the better ideas or she has to resign due to childcare or no help policy |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by biolabee(m): 6:53pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
Daresh: Hahaha.... welcome |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by biolabee(m): 6:56pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
coogar: It will not be so bad Granted there is an innate power struggle between the sexes from time immemorial but it will not be as bad All they do in the west is serial marriages jidegirl12: Thanks for the response but i really hope buka can answer too If whites are the model of good marriages, their statistics will be better than our own Feminism at its core is rebellion against the status quo// how can that gel with a religion that advocates forgiveness, kindness and humility Funny to me.... The funniest thing is that these same feminism, after they got the empowerment, they just hustle for settlement up and down, leave their partners houses to be phocking around, kill babies up n down instead of closing their legs... The matter tire me sef |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by coogar: 6:58pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
biolabee: nigeria is worse - many wives are just suffering and smiling. as long as they wear the "mrs" tag, it's good in the hood. the moment nigeria's divorce laws get near what we have in the west, you would see a drastic change! |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by biolabee(m): 7:01pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
coogar: Still goes to the core battle between the genders preordained from the garden of eden Women will never willingly submit to rule by men |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by Nobody: 7:05pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
biolabee:Exactly! Welcome. But u de vex o! Cool down and go tru d posts. |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by Daresh(f): 7:10pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
Mavrick2012: @efemena_xy tanks tanks tanks.u know,somtimes emotns deprives one of simple logic.tanks for opening my eyes.but note,i didnt say d call lasted for 3mins,i said 3mins after d call.d duratn was even one of d tins dat made me unconfortable,over 10mins.also,y couldnt she explain til d folowin monin?buy time?uptil now she doesnt even hav an xplanatn to y she couldnt xplain til nxt monin.we not just hus n wife,we also like frnds.i waited 4 almost 10mins yet she couldnt xplain Believe me if she was cheating, she would never ever make or receive such a call in front of you. Never 1 Like |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by biolabee(m): 7:19pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
Daresh: She may be using this fact as reverse psychology to fool him |
Re: Is This Not Infidelity by NathiNkosi: 7:24pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
do then same thing with a aunt Ada... until she get it... and go further |
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