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"Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey - Romance - Nairaland

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"Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 7:53pm On Aug 02, 2013
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending... Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE
individuals. Look for someone complimentary...
not supplementary.

Dating is fun... Even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... When a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him ~ he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says... You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts...

All my ladies...Oprah's making some great valid points!!!!

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Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by mployer(m): 8:22pm On Aug 02, 2013
Valid points ke? Follow dat and u will remain single for life. Oprah herself is a living witnesss.

1 Like

Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 8:44pm On Aug 02, 2013
m-ployer:
Valid points ke? Follow dat and u will remain single for life. Oprah herself is a living witnesss.
And a girl is the OP. I am sure she is abiding by those rules and is 59 year old! Smh
Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Saraben(f): 9:12pm On Aug 02, 2013
nice tips
Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Chinwem(f): 9:29pm On Aug 02, 2013
Ok
Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 9:39pm On Aug 02, 2013
maxwello.yg:

And a girl is the OP. I am sure she is abiding by those rules and is 59 year old! Smh
she's trying to tell women to respect themselves. if any man has a problem with that message then he's probably one of the men she's talking about......

8 Likes

Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 10:54pm On Aug 02, 2013
ROSYL:
she's trying to tell women to respect themselves. if any man has a problem with that message then he's probably one of the men she's talking about......
This is hilarious
Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 10:57pm On Aug 02, 2013
maxwello.yg:
This is hilarious

And true.

m-ployer:
Valid points ke? Follow dat and u will remain single for life. Oprah herself is a living witnesss.

You'd be surprised as to the number of women who'd rather be self-respecting, unmarried, and happy than disrespected, married, and miserable. I'm one of them.

Great words from a great woman.

5 Likes

Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Onyinyechimara(f): 11:02pm On Aug 02, 2013
^^^^^Self respect and marriage are not mutually exclusive me thinks

You don't have to give one up to earn the other

You can still be a madam at the top with a lovely family to show smiley

3 Likes

Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 12:06am On Aug 03, 2013
Onyinyechimara: ^^^^^Self respect and marriage are not mutually exclusive me thinks

You don't have to give one up to earn the other

You can still be a madam at the top with a lovely family to show smiley
#WORD
Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 1:44am On Aug 03, 2013
Onyinyechimara: ^^^^^Self respect and marriage are not mutually exclusive me thinks

You don't have to give one up to earn the other

You can still be a madam at the top with a lovely family to show smiley

I agree. They're not. I was simply giving opposing scenarios.

The number of women who will settle for someone unworthy of them and take all sorts of disrespect and abuse because they think he'll change or because they fear not being called his wife, or even girlfriend, is frightening. No woman should stay in a relationship only to become the next Rihanna or Halle Berry, most especially when the signs are there. A woman should slow down, think, and put herself first sometimes as some don't do that enough.

3 Likes

Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 1:51am On Aug 03, 2013
Oprah's message is on point!
Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 1:54am On Aug 03, 2013
I fart in oprah 's mouth.


WHO EVA TOLD U DAT MARRIAGE IS EQUAL HAS LIED 2 U
people lik her has done more harm dan good, in d name of gender equality.
no mata wat there most b a head in a relationship. d high rate of broken relationship is traced 2 people like dis who neva do well in a relationship coming out wit their stupidity 2 advise our women on hw not 2 b submissive to their men.


being sumissive has long been right frm d days of Abraham , sarah as i were in those days called Abraham my Lord



long lived d memories of our ancestors who were hero's 2 their wives ,mk relationships worked out even against all odd, wen d children goes astray there is always a daddy 2 b reported to, in time of crises there is always a man 2 satnd up, lived together b4 obeying d natural call of death.
Now u hardly see a woman in her 40s without ex husband, hw i pity d women of dis generation who give ears to dis home breakers.

metcheeeew

4 Likes

Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 2:14am On Aug 03, 2013
Ehoa igho. Who pissed in your cheerios? grin

1 Like

Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 2:17am On Aug 03, 2013
Onyinyechimara: ^^^^^Self respect and marriage are not mutually exclusive me thinks

You don't have to give one up to earn the other

You can still be a madam at the top with a lovely family to show smiley

On Point! wink

This brings to mind Nkonjo Iweala and Marissa Mayer
Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 2:19am On Aug 03, 2013
SniperInADiaper: Ehoa igho. Who pissed in your cheerios? grin
This ain't time 4 cheerios, its time 4 garri n groundnut

1 Like

Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 2:20am On Aug 03, 2013
ighoosagie: This ain't time 4 cheerios, its time 4 garri n groundnut

Then exchange the two.

tongue
Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 2:23am On Aug 03, 2013
Ighoosie, I will hide your comments and ban you if you change the size of your font again.

11. Don't create distracting posts e.g. posts in giant fonts or ALL CAPS or with silly gifs.

1 Like

Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by dasparrow: 2:28am On Aug 03, 2013
@Post

Great words of wisdom from Oprah. I agree with her 100%
Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by dasparrow: 2:34am On Aug 03, 2013
Onyinyechimara: ^^^^^Self respect and marriage are not mutually exclusive me thinks

You don't have to give one up to earn the other

You can still be a madam at the top with a lovely family to show smiley

With all the madams at the top with lovely families in Nigeria, yet Nigeria is still a third world country. Oprah is making a difference in the lives of poor people and she is in a relationship as well. Just because she did not sign some sheet of paper does not mean she is single.

ighoosagie: I fart in oprah 's mouth.


WHO EVA TOLD U DAT MARRIAGE IS EQUAL HAS LIED 2 U
people lik her has done more harm dan good, in d name of gender equality.
no mata wat there most b a head in a relationship. d high rate of broken relationship is traced 2 people like dis who neva do well in a relationship coming out wit their stupidity 2 advise our women on hw not 2 b submissive to their men.


being sumissive has long been right frm d days of Abraham , sarah as i were in those days called Abraham my Lord



long lived d memories of our ancestors who were hero's 2 their wives ,mk relationships worked out even against all odd, wen d children goes astray there is always a daddy 2 b reported to, in time of crises there is always a man 2 satnd up, lived together b4 obeying d natural call of death.
Now u hardly see a woman in her 40s without ex husband, hw i pity d women of dis generation who give ears to dis home breakers.

metcheeeew

You can preach from today till tomorrow it won't make a difference. We are in the 21st century. Times have changed and so you can either accept that or keep wallowing in misery. In the past, men did what they wanted and got away with it. Well, times are changing now and God knows I am glad.

3 Likes

Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 3:00am On Aug 03, 2013
ogugua88: Ighoosie, I will hide your comments and ban you if you change the size of your font again.

11. Don't create distracting posts e.g. posts in giant fonts or ALL CAPS or with silly gifs.
maam mercy. D cap is my personal quote, sorry 4 d enlargement, bt u no I'm an apostle of peace n I detest threat.





See as woman dey threaten me, shey operah don dey give una mind Abi?





Who like dis tin self?.
Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 5:32am On Aug 03, 2013
kwangi: Naah... The little girl wey be moderator just dey threaten dat Igho dude unnecessarily, so I called her out.
The dude didn't do anything out of the ordinary.
She just didn't like the guy's post, so she hard to resort to puerile threats like she did above "...I'll hide your post and ban you..."
Na talk be dat one?
Imagine that height of silliness?

I'll go ahead and explain it to you since some members are fond of being vocal for issues that don't concern them. The biggest font allowed on the forum is 13pt font. His fonts were 25pt and above. I modified his posts for him. Immediately after I changed the font to an acceptable size, he reversed my changes and enlargened his font again. That's why he received a warning.

Just an FYI, you are derailing this thread. Ighoosie went ahead to inquire about acceptable fonts in the complaints thread. If you have anymore questions or complaints, then I suggest you go there as well. Thank you for your cooperation.

2 Likes

Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 5:41am On Aug 03, 2013
Why all the hidden posts?
Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 5:49am On Aug 03, 2013
dasparrow: You can preach from today till tomorrow it won't make a difference. We are in the 21st century. Times have changed and so you can either accept that or keep wallowing in misery. In the past, men did what they wanted and got away with it. Well, times are changing now and God knows I am glad.

This is an excellent point. A lot of men had wives to make children for them and look the part. This is true from the poorest of men to Prince Charles of Wales. Because women didn't divorce then like they do now in no way correlates with happy, healthy relationships. A lot of women sacrifice happiness to sustain relationships and it's unfair. I'm glad someone as big as Oprah made this statement. Part of the rates of domestic violence and/or unhealthy relationships reducing is women learning to stand up and say "no, I can do better than this".

2 Likes

Re: "Never Let a Man Define Who You Are" - Oprah Winfrey by Nobody: 5:55am On Aug 03, 2013
ogugua88:

This is an excellent point. A lot of men had wives to make children for them and look the part. This is true from the poorest of men to Prince Charles of Wales. Because women didn't divorce then like they do now in no way correlates with happy, healthy relationships. A lot of women sacrifice happiness to sustain relationships and it's unfair. I'm glad someone as big as Oprah made this statement. Part of the rates of domestic violence and/or unhealthy relationships reducing is women learning to stand up and say "no, I can do better than this".
This is not an excellent point.
It's a drivel.
Please refer to Onyinyechimara's post.
Thank you.

1 Like

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