wow weldone dear,keep em comin

One thing that makes me keep coming back is to see how each of you is going to make the other look silly in your update. It is hilarious. I tune in just to see who one-ups the other today.

texanomaly: One thing that makes me keep coming back is to see how each of you is going to make the other look silly in your update. It is hilarious. I tune in just to see who one-ups the other today.

texanomaly you be correct.

flow1759:

texanomaly you be correct.

Haha u may not hav such rare chance in d future so una suppose dey prepare for all possible questions wen carrying out ur coco business

I cant remember when last i laughed this much.

Thumbs up foxy and flow, una don make me laf out my flu and cough. Thank u Jesus or so i thought.

Still i Follow

Hahahahahahahaha....Nawa oo...Ah don throwey soup.....wey dae fire..."AH DON DIE".....

U guyz ar 2mach oo#I must confess

''Attai, why you no mess when those officers dey here?''

Flow asked. I looked at him like he just spoke nonsense.

''You no know say even my mess dey fear real soldier?''

''Na for my head you dey get power take...''

He did not complete the statement. I could see the gas leave my ever ready anus, follow the air like a ninja and jumped into Flows mouth.

''Hunn... Tua tua...''

He was choking on my fart. I was feeling the air as my fart smelt like boiled eggs to me. Flow wind down the glass, his face hanging out as he took gulp after gulp of air into his damaged lungs.

''Attai, God dey solder your nyash''

He cussed.

''I dodge am''

I played a childish game with him.

''Where we dey?''

Flow asked. I had been engross in trying to murder him with my fart that I did not notice I had long left the long row of houses behind. I was already on my way to the General's house.

''You no study the map wey Alhaji give us?''

I asked Flow.

''I no too get time and you know how Kareem dey take disturb for night''

He replied me.

''Him dey disturb abi you dey watch me act blue file with landlord pikin''

I asked him.

''You bad o.''

Was all that came out of his mouth. My mind sailed down memory lane to that night I nearly lost my diicck all in a bid to catch fun.

****************

''What is this!''

Landlord had screamed, his shout pulling me down from the cloud of estacy I had climbed. I was giving his daughter doggy style when he barged in. My dicckk slipped out of her steam puss''y with my reserved sperm splashing everywhere. My eyes were still rolled up but my instinct had kicked in.

''Crash''

I had dodged a giant 501 bottle aimed for my head.

''You bascard, you nanses, I will kill you today''

The landlord was chasing me round the compound with his big agbada bellowing in the wind. My gentleman was busy shaking from side to side as I ran round before making my way through the open door. Oga landlord chased me with the speed of light. I turned to see he was only putting on a singlet and boxers. He had discarded his agbada. The old man could run.

''Oloshi, olori buruku. Iya e''

Were all the abusive missiles he was hurling at me. The night was dark but I still ran. I saw a darker ground from the rest and I ran blindly into it.

I had run into a storage of faeces. The thickness held unto me while oga landlord in seeing my predicament turned and fled. I wondered if it was the sh''t or he was just being a coward. I had to stay in the pond of shit for some minutes to make sure the landlord had gone. The longest minutes in my life.

*****************

''Attai!''

I had to break suddenly. I looked at Flow with anger burning in my eyes.

''Na so my name dey sweet? You wan finish am?''

I asked him as I looked in front of me. My mouth fell open as I saw the most beautiful female soldier I had ever seen. Her head was covered with a golf cap, revealing curly hairs which sticked with the sweat on her beautiful face. Her eyes looked trained, mouth held together with her jaw moving like she was chewing an invisible food.

All this I took in in one breath.

''Flow, close your mouth''

I was the first to say it so Flow won't catch me staring.

''Na this ugly babe you dey open mouth for''

I had to complete it.

''Your mama fine like this when whe young?''

Flow asked, trying to annoy me.

''No.''

I answered. He was already smiling.

''She just fine pass your mother.''

I added.

''No call my mother for this matter''

Flow shouted at me. From outside, you would think two officers were just discussing when in reality we were actually fighting.

''Na my mother come good to call pass''

I answered him, dropping a silent fart as I said so.

''See, your mama dey alive and she dey...''

I quickly opened the door and jumped out as the smell got in contact with his nose. He coughed loudly and followed suit. He moved far from the car like it was about to explode.

''Do not move a step from the where you are''

Flow and I turned simultaneously to see a rifle nozzle trained at us. I dropped farts, loud ones in a frenzy while Flow convered his nose. His eyes were popping out like he was going to faint any moment.

''Officer, stand down''

A harsh voice said.

We were saved again this time by the tick of the clock.

nyc one

*sucks in air...coughs as popcorn is sucked down into my lungs. kingphillip starts slapping me on the back. The popcorn is dislodged and I gasp for air.*

chinedumo may be right...this story is for the guys.

*Gets up. Thanks kingphillip for the popcorn. Smiles at all and says good bye. Walks out*

Since ℓ̊ was born ℓ̊ ve neva farted b4. Gov Rochas Okorocha of Imo state is my nxt door neighbour. ℓ̊ always cut my hair @ indian Shoprite.

Who knows wentin save u dis time.

Attai u bad oo u and dis ur legendary mess lmao.nice update by foxy-flow

Foxy i'm back 2 TORMENT u

texanomaly: *sucks in air...coughs as popcorn is sucked down into my lungs. kingphillip starts slapping me on the back. The popcorn is dislodged and I gasp for air.*

chinedumo may be right...this story is for the guys.

*Gets up. Thanks kingphillip for the popcorn. Smiles at all and says good bye. Walks out*

Wence goeth thou?

Stories av got no sex


After "Man wey dey reason" i havn't really "laughter" hard . . . .fortunately for me, there'z a remedy.


Make una make this story "Sex free" naa. I mean for both sex.. . . It's too masculine

Make i update small

"Officer stand down"

A harsh voice shouted. I could see the trouses of flow getting wet.

"Flow na piss be that?"

"No na my saliva"

He fired back, i would have laughed but the fart coming out from my anus was enough to close my mouth. We turned to see who saved us and we came face to face with the General.

For someone with a huge voice we never expected to see a very short little man that owned it.

"How are you boys?"

The general asked us, as they female assasin who nearly killed us saluted him, the eyes which she looked at us made us salute quickly.

"We are fine sir"

"Attai, you sure say na the man be this?"

Flow wispered.

"No, no be him na my houseboy"

i wispered back.

"You boys are lucky that i was taking a stroll and saw you guys, but am sure you were well trained so that would have not been a problem. Lets go inside".

We followed the General as Flow walked like someone that had been struck by epilesy, his legs were firmly pressed together like his baggy trousers were super glued.

"Grrrrrh"

Two huge artasian dogs growed at us immediately we entered the General's well endowed compound.

I wanted running but i looked to see what flow would do, i saw him increasing the rate of urine on his trousers.

"Flow, piss no dey finish for your prick? Abi you know wear pampars during childbirth"

"E go finish when fart finish for your yansh"

He countered back, that was when i farted a loud one that made the dogs silent.

Or would i say the fart made the dogs dillusional and even the General stood still for a second.

I wanted releasing a trilogy of hot fart but Flow held my ar'se firmly to prevent any air leakage.

"Was that a sound of gun firing?"

The general asked.

"Sir yes sir". We answered like the soldiers in the movie 'Full metal jacket'

"Ok lets go in"

The dogs had kept quiet, maybe they were trying to prevent my horrible fart smell to penetrate their nose, or so i thought. For once i thanked the mama put we ate from before coming, atleast her food works wonders.

"Make your selves comfortable boys, am coming to see the stuff later"

The palour we entered was the most spacious i ever saw, i wondered if this was how soldiers got enough money or was it another business they did to gain all this wealth.

"Attai"

"Wetin?"

"This chair soft o"

"And so you think say na that abgero house you dey?"

"No be that one, i no wan dirty the chair"

Then i remembered that Flow had been busy downloading urine on his uniform, i smiled.

"Thank God say na only mess, i mess atleast e no fit stain chair"

I crashed on a comfortable soft chair and i almost fell asleep immediately. Flow stood at my back like my bodyguard. He was only trying to cover his trousers so he had no choice.

"I hope you boys made yourselfs comfortable"

The general said as he came down from the stairs with his pajamas or nightgown as we africans know it.

"And you why are you standing?"

He said pointing at Flow.

"General, he is my bodyguard"

I said proudly.

"Attai you dey mad, if no be say i piss, i for show you wetin happen for 1975" flow wispered to me as i smiled.

"So where is the stuff?"

It dawned on us, we had left itin the car.

"Oya Bodyguard go carry am come"

"You dey mad,i resemble your mate, with your oblong head. Na you make soldier woman decieve your fish brain so you go carry am"

Flow wispered at me angrily as he went to seat down not minding whether his urine would stain the chair or not.

I got up reluctantly and excused myself. I wanted running back but since i had stood already and we had gone this far in the mission. I choosed to finish it expectantly.

Now how i go take pass those devilish dogs, then i remembered my farting formula. I walked outside as the dogs started their usual growling.

"Poowuwu"

That was the sound that came out of my anus, the first dog just fainted immediately as the second one ran for his dear life as the aroma of my ar'se wonders chased him.

Am sure if TB. Joshua was there to see me, he would have made me one of his wise men or so i thought.

I went to the car and raised the seat where we kept the substance up, i was about grabbing it when a cold soft hand grabbed my shirt at the from behind....

E<R>F:


Wence goeth thou?

Stories av got no sex


After "Man wey dey reason" i havn't really "laughter" hard . . . .fortunately for me, there'z a remedy.


Make una make this story "Sex free" naa. I mean for both sex.. . . It's too masculine

You are right. There was sex in MWTR. I don't remember it being that graphic.

I think another air leakage will send the soft hand back with immediate effect...very nice one the tori is getting more interesting

Foxy you don take mess scatter dis page oh *covers nose and ranned out page* *comes back with a mess extinguisher and sprays round* oya continue!

kai see fartoo dis one na Osoma bomboo.guy u be correct man chai.no kill General with ur fartsoo.

lolzzzz...#stil followin

Foxy-Flow una too much..best collabo ever!!

Who tapped you? Evil spirit? Lol.

Oboy your mess don too much so tey i don dey "hear the odour" From here.

Meanwhile you can encourage an amateur here. .

www.nairaland.com/1458354/lesser-power-short-amazin-story#18441129

thanks

foxy nd flow..... Aal iz well....see as i dey laf lyk mumu

Can sum1 plz pass me d mess evaporatn machine... Area soap no go fit cumot d odor 4rm u trousa o foxy...nice update..more plz

LwkmDead!!!Come n continue oo b4 ah vex....

Dem don catch una,lol nice update though it will be better if u update more frequently

In with my MESS DETECTOR....... AMA CATCH Y'ALL

I still dey here oo

#gush down d remaining hollandia# baba flow u favourite fan don join d ship o, oya aluta continua

come do[b] independence [/b]for us na.