I was discomdobulated by those red eyes. I had the feeling that the military guy had been smoking spiritual weed from Abuja sun. While Lagos felt cool, Abuja was as hot as hell. I had the feeling that one could take a bike to hell from that place.

''What do you have in your boot?''

The soldier asked in flawless English. I was taken aback cos I have always had the feelings that it is only the semi-literates that join the army. The police officers I have met all my life have always been speaking gbagaun. The only ones who would speak English albeit ''influently'' was the ones being interviewed on TV. The crazy thing is they answer the questions with a lot of uhm, ahh like they rehearse it.

''Nothing officer''

I replied smiling. Flow had shifted to a far corner of the chair like seating down in the whole chair was scaring him. This was the same guy that had worn an army uniform some months ago.

''How am I supposed to know that? Can you please open your booth?''

The officer was fucking polite. Damn, Nigeria was improving. Seems the media always had bad news about them officers to us.

''Owk Sir.''

I replied smiling while my heart pounder in my chest like someone was playing the nation anthem within. I looked at Uduak. He had practically disappeared. He was looking like some kid who was afraid of being caught masturbating.

''Flow, go down go open booth for officer na''

I said to Flow. He looked at me with a melting eyes. His eyes was busy screaming at me..

''Attai abeg no vex, I take God and my mama beg you, no do me this kind bad thing.''

It was really strange as I heard that voice loudly. His lips weren't moving but the mudafucka was communicating.

''Uduak, open the booth''

I said with my eyes focused on the officer who appeared calm.

''Oga, my belle dey pain me''

Uduak replied squeezing his face like his bal'ls was being grinded. Jeez, I was pissed off but then, the onus was on me. Them soldiers could just shoot my ar'se and I will be done for.

''I am waiting Sir''

The soldier said calmly. It was crazy hearing him calling me Sir. An officer of the Nigerian Army. Wow, the feeling was out of this world. I stepped outta the car and made my way to the trunk. I could easily have opened the trunk from the outside but the officer had insisted I do it myself. There aint no way I could run, those guys were fuckin armed to the eye.

I got the the back and saw that the number plate was covered. I had not noticed it the night I had driven the car out of Alhaji's mansion. Three stars were clearly embossed slightly above the number plates. Haba, we were Generals and Flow was acting like a sissy.

I turned the knob of the trunk and opened it. The booth was empty. I looked at the officer who smiled like he knew. I just shook my head while he saluted. Alhaji was surely a crafty man.

''Bow woow woow..''

A dog who had dragged its controller to the car barked. This seemed to get the other officers attention as they quickly circled the car their weapons trained at us. My hand was on the ignition button but the muscle operating the finger had gone on hibernation. The other dogs were barking from where they were tied, my mind was barking too.

''Attai, na die we dey oooo''

Flow said from a corner of his mouth. Since I had seen the number plate, I felt the dog had a misunderstanding with the car. I opened the car confidently and walked towards the soldiers. Other cars were at a standstill. I believe the owners were watching the outcome. Seeing a 3-star General being humilated.

''Officer, I think there is a mistake somwhere. My trunk is clean and the dogs aint sniffing. They are barking at the car.''

''Yes sir.''

One replied.

''It is more suspicious. Seemed there is an illegal package in the car.''

The officer continued.

''The car is clean. Let me call the general''

I said and walked stiffly to the car. I opened it and saw Uduak chewing his mouth. He looked and smiled at me.

''Na the dog meat wey remain o.''

He said with a tiny voice.

''Oya throway am through window.''

I whispered harshly to him which he did immediately. At the same moment, the dogs stopped barking. Seems there was a solidarity for their slained member.

''You are cleared to go Sir.''

One officer shouted. I jumped into the car, wind up and shouted at Uduak.

''You chop meat again wey be dog own go earn you one bullet.''





TO BE CONTINUED!!!

nice 1

Which dog uduack chop now the soldiers own or the wan wey him carry frm ous

UDUAK no go kill me oooo...LMFAO

9ce story guys, bt Where is flow?

Una don try thank u

Oh boy!!

Lmao nice update.lolzz

U guys are really trying, but where is flow?

I swear my father I go sue una for DELAY..if I no sue una make my mama buy new bulletproof car today

yemi2plus: Feed me more

na ryback u b ne...WWE...floxy nd flow nice one just repented i was reading it silently...more grease to ur elbow...

*eating garden egg while waiting for the next update*

Attai where are thou

The rock5555: *eating garden egg while waiting for the next update*

Attai where are thou

u wetin u dey do there? U sure say no be dog meat u dey chop say na garden egg?

Uduak the dog eater

Attai plow and udsuak I dey waitin u faa

Where is plow and attai na make u come update I take God beg una wallayiii

I hv been following this thread for quite some time nw. Nice story u guys are puting up here and very funny story too. Thank God i hv caught up with u guys *smiling at my remaining dog meat*

Abeg make una update oooo......continue chewing ma dog meat......e must not finish before I receive another dog meat.....frown

I beg make una come update naa

Lmfao... *waiting*

Wetin wetin wetin sef

E no good as u pple just abandon us for dis thread o.....God is watchin you

Jumizie13: Uduak the dog eater

Hey Jumizie, on your signature, na three 2go accounts you alone get?! U try O!

Typing.....

"Flow na wetin dey smell inside this car"
Attai asked as soon as he got into the car.

"Na Uduak meat oo" Flow lied.

"Uhmmm, Flow your lie dey smell oo, no be you dey mess like say Attai dash you him unbeaten mess record"

i used my left side of brain to say that statment because like on cue Attai and Flow landed one hot slap each on both sides of my face. Which rendered me deaf and dumb for five minutes.

"Attai abeg make i kill this our secetary, we go tell Alhaji say he died on CoCo duty"

Flow pleaded with Attai.

"So CoCoyam business dey kill person? I no know na, but my mama don teach me the work, even under rain and harmattan i dey i dey farm nothing dey kill me" i said with my useless mouth.

Before i could laugh at my dry joke a .45 caliber pistol was pointing to my forehead. Flow was pointing the gun at me while Attai began laughing because i contracted his disease as small quantities of mess started floating out of my anus.

"Oga na hoe and cutlass dem dey use for Coco business na, how come gun come enter?" i asked confused.

"You get sense at all?" Attai asked.

"Ogasses i no get sense o, infact na third class lower i been get for school" i confessed as they bursted into laughter.

"Flow abeg comot that gun from that boy head, him don confused. See as him mess dey sound like na him do instrumental for Skelewu" Attai begged Flow.

Flow slowly withdrew his gun as i heaved a sign of relief.

"If i hear any rubish again your own don finish, you go greet my grandpapa for heaven be that" Flow warned as i quickly peg my lips with my fingers.

"No be Cocoyam busy we dey go do, na Cocaine. you don hear?" Attai shouted as i quickly nod my head.

My eyes opened with shock to the realisation that i had entered a big business.

"Ogas abeg if i die for this business na wetin go happen to my body?" i said.

"Ask George Weah" Flow shouted while Attai rebuked him.

"Uduak no worry, as far as you no kill anybody dog you no go die. But if you die that booth go fit contain your body na abi?" Attai said as i began shivering like i was under fever.

I was in deep thought when we finally landed in a big house with a big gate.

"Flow mouth was opened wide while Attai eyes were opened wide but my ears were the most opened cus i did not want a mistaken gun shot on my head.

"Attai close your eye small na abi you be Segun Arinze younger brother" Flow mocked Attai.

"You wey open big mouth, you be train tunnel, abeg close your own mouth before the gate man go come inhale your mouth's horrible smell" Attai repiled as Flow silently shut his mouth.

I was suprised at the turn of events, Flow that would never give up an argument unless Attai released one of his thundrous bombs called fart which could suddenly keep Flow quiet as Attai teased him. Maybe the house was still affecting him or so i thought.

"The gate man peeped through a small space in the gate and quickly rushed to open it, he must have been informed of our arrival.

As we entered into the spacious compound all our mouths and eyes were opened in amazement, it was like Aso rock.

And if you ask me wether i have ever seen Aso rock i would tell you i saw it in my imaginations.

What caught our eyes mostly was the number of babes swimming in the spacious pool, the owner of the house was having a pool party.

"Mehn, Cocine business good ooo, see yansh and br east abeg" i screamed as my JT responded to what i saw.

"Two hot slaps and knocks from quickly brought me back to my senses"

"Na wetin i do na?" i said almost in tears.

"Rule no1 for CoCo business be say, dont look more than your superior, you don hear?"

Flow said while holding his ears while i nod like a little dog on heat.

"Flow the boss, we go kill this boy o" Attal smircked as they walked to the pool side while i followed gently.

To be continued by Attai...

Oga Attai, give it to them hooot

This story still dey in shape, na lack of update dey kill the vibe.

Una no go kil me wit lauf oo.uduak na u i pity pass,
i sure say ur face n head go wear extra cloth b4 una go aus
......plow,attai n uduak una 3 much joor.

Uduak sorry oo I hope say ur head never get gallop cuz d beatin dey too much oo.....

We dey wait for more update oo

Its da Rock babey.....thumbs up! Unto the nXt one now.ATTAI!

Attai give am one.

abeg no delay in updating...kudos guys