Officially Owned....

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at
their office. John to George: "Man, I dated her last
Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot
better in bed than my wife!"
Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her
too and we had sex as well, but I still think your
wife is better in bed!"

F*ckin' Goofy...


Mickey and Minnie Mouse were at court for divorce
proceedings. The judge told Mickey, "Look here
Mickey Mouse, I can't grant you a divorce from
Minnie!"
Mickey Mouse was stunned and asked, "Why
not"
The Judge said, "I've reviewed all the information
you gave to the court, but I can't find any evidence
at all to support the grounds that she is crazy!"
Mickey Mouse says, "Your Honour! I didn't say she
was CRAZY, I said she was f*ckin' Goofy!"...

For Old times Sake...


An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th
wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to
the little town where they first met. They sat in a
small coffee shop in the town and were telling the
waitress about their love for each other and how
they met at this same spot. Sitting next to them
was the local cop and he smiled as the old couple
spoke. After the waitress left the table, the old man
said to his wife, 'Remember the first time we
made love, it was up in that field across the road,
when I put you against the fence. Why don't we do
it again for old times sake?' The wife giggled like
crazy and said, 'Sure, why not.' So off they went
out the door and across to the field. The cop
smiled to himself, thinking how romantic this was
and decided he better keep an eye on the couple
so they didn't run into any harm. The old couple
walked to the field and as they approached the
fence they began to UnCloth. The old man picked
up his wife when they were naked and leaned her
against the fence. The cop was watching from the
bushes and was surprised at what he saw. With
the vitality of youth, the wife bounced up and
down excitedly, while the husband thrashed
around like a wild man, then they both fell to the
ground in exhaustion. Eventually, they stood
up,shook themselves, and got dressed. As they
walked back towards the road, the cop stepped
from his hiding spot and said, 'That is the most
wonderful love making I have ever seen. You must
have been a wild couple when you were young.'
'not really,' said the old man, 'when we were
young, that fence wasn't electric.'

Tic tic tic...

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop,
with them are their 8 children. A blind man joins
them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives,
they find it overloaded and only the wife and her
eight children are able to fit in the bus. So the
husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a
while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of
the stick of the blind man and says to him.
"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of
your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!!"
The blind man replies: "If you would've put a
rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be sitting in
the bus.

Amazing collection you've got here..all except Akpor's jonzing.. That guy's really dry..
#loud ovation#