See The Most Beautiful Girl In The Whole Wide World, Click On This Link And Like Her Picture For A Surprise On Your Inbox https://www.facebook.com/missbeautifulnigeria/photos/a.423134531167207.1073741829.421116741368986/629584613855530/?type=3&refid=12&_ft_=top_level_post_id.629584613855530%3Atl_objid.629584613855530%3Athid.421116741368986%3A306061129499414%3A69%3A0%3A1467356399%3A3520150291397733393

Harry Potter fans
http://smstv.org/fotogalerija/fotogalerija/170

Very Funny Brand New Video Of The Week: I Need You Now (NJUWO Episode 10) Download Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/06/very-funny-video-i-need-you-now-njuwo.html?m=1

I walked into a shop
and asked how is
business. The man replied,
"Business is bad. Yesterday
I sold one dress and today is
worse. The dress was returned.
I Need You Now (NJUWO Episode 10) Very Funny Download Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/06/very-funny-video-i-need-you-now-njuwo.html?m=1

Ofego saw a notice board in the middle of a river, he tried to read it, but couldn't, so he swam to the board in the middle of the river and read "DANGER! CROCODILES INSIDE, PLEASE DON'T SWIM"

njuwo:
Three business associates, an Igbo man, a Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere. While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in through the window. It flew across the table to where the Igbo man was but he just waved his hands to chase it away. The fly then went to where the Yoruba man was, he also chased it away. Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese man was and was flying close to his ears. The Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and swallowed it. The other men saw this but just kept on eating. About Five minutes later, another fly came in and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased it away again. It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for sometime and then grabbed it. He then turned to the Chinese man and asked "how much you go buy am?"

trrrrr 9ja NINJASSS

Ofego after taking five crates of gulder went inside the hotel's toilet to urinate. On entering the toilet, he saw the reflection of himself on the mirror and shouted, "Oh, sorry, somebody is even here."

This is my first short-film TRIBUTE. It just dropped on Sunday. I dedicate it to all those that lost their Dads... And to all the Wonderful Dads...Happy Father's Day God bless us all... please view using this link for mobile devices:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akE5EIYfeSo

Last week there was a program going on in the company Ofego works in titled "Love feast". This is a program whereby, you will buy a gift, wrap and package it, and exchange with another person who brings a gift. So last week, Ofego did not have much money with him and he did not want to miss the program because, he must gain a nice gift from someone. So he decided to buy anything. He went and bought garri, you know that garri that is usually heavy , so he packaged the garri in form of television, he bought a carton of television, put the garri inside and supported it with a heavy stone which he packaged like a television. When it was the day, people were dragging, battling, and struggling to sit beside him because they wanted to exchange their own gift with his. (Una don die today) He said in his mind." Finally a female colleague who also brought her own gift sat near him, her gift has the shape of a fridge, he did not know what was inside but he believed it would be a nice gift. (I don hammer" He said in his mind. So when it got to the time of exchanging of gifts, Ofego and the girl both exchanged their gifts and she looked excited. He ran home quickly before the girl would change her mind.
When he got home, he locked his door and windows, very happy that he had cheated the girl and collected her nice gift but prior to that, he begged God for forgiveness because he did not know what came over him to cheat her. When he opened the gift, behold!!!!! He saw two bags of sand with two heavy stones bigger than the stone he put inside his own gift. When he opened the bag of sand he saw a written note, which read: "I saw you yesterday when you were packaging your own garri and stone, you think you are wise abi?."

Gud morning nairalanders....


so sorry to disturb u over here but I really need ur help to crown my sis the queen of nairaland. .my sis is a natural beauty


pls help me help her become the queen....

all u need to do is click the link below


https://www.nairaland.com/3180901/miss-nairaland-contest-2016-semi-final#46802897

then type

I vote OPTIONAL1

CC: NLjega

on the trend the link takes u to...


we really would appreciate all your votes...tnxx alot all....voting commences by 10am -6pm.
tnxxx
muchLove

Ofego went to his Pastor one thursday night.
Ofego: Pastor, the enemies are after me! Pastor: My Son, what is it?
Ofego: My Business is running Down.
Pastor: Ah! That's a small thing na, kneel Down and let me pray for You. Aahhhhh, your business will surely rise again! Our Church members will buy from you, my family will buy from you! Aahhhhh, your neighbours will buy from you. Aahhhhh, Say Amen.
Ofego: Ameeeeeeeeen ooooooh Pastor, thank you very much .
Pastor: You are welcome my son. By the way, what do you sell sef? So that I can announce it in services on sundays.
Ofego: Oh Pastor! I make and sell coffins.
Pastor: Blood of Jesus!!!! Holy Ghost Fireeeeeeee!!!! Nobody will buy from you!!!! My family will never see your shop!!! Our Church Members will never buy from you!!! I decree and declare, your business will run down and dry in Jesus Mighty Name I pray, Amen! Amen!! Amen!!! and Amen!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7OM5lazoE4

Ofego was returning home with his salary and was ambushed by an armed robber on a deserted street. "Take my money, take my money!!" said Ofego, "But do me a favour. Shoot a bullet through my cap here otherwise my wife won't believe I was robbed." The robber obliged. He threw Ofego's Cap into the air and shot a bullet through it. "Let's make it look as if I ran into a gang of robbers," said Ofego " Otherwise my wife will call me a coward! Please shoot a number of holes through my suit." So the robber shot a number of holes through the Ofego's suit. " And now shoot...…" "Sorry," interrupted the robber. "No more holes. I'm out of bullets." "That's all I wanted to hear!" said Ofego. "Now hand me back my money and some more for the cap and suit that you've ruined or I will beat you black and blue!" The robber threw down the money and took to his heels.

Laugh Wants To Kill Me Oh, This Video Is So Funny http://www.njuwo.com/2016/06/very-funny-video-chatting-permit-njuwo.html

Ofego and Obuke were walking home and a lady was blowing a kiss to Obuke from the window of a storey building.
Obuke: Oh boy, it's like it's me that that woman is blowing kiss for oh! Ofego: Honourable leave her oh, don't mind her. (The woman then signaled to Obuke to come).
Obuke: Oh boy, the girlie oh is calling me oh. Ofego: Honourable, don't go oh.
Obuke: Why are you telling me not to go? Sweet Woman like that is call ing me, and you are saying I should not go?
Ofego: Honourable please don't go, don't go!! (feeling pity).
Obuke ignored him and went over to the woman, she went to meet him and they both went upstairs. Suddenly as they were about to have fun, they heard a car horning.
Woman: (on opening the window) Ha! It's my husband oh!! Obuke: Ewoooo!!! I'm finished!! Woman: Don't worry, just pretend that you are the dry cleaner and iron these clothes (pointing at a load of clothes) . Obuke spent the whole day ironing the clothes because the husband never left that day again.
The next day he came over to Ofego's place.
Ofego: Oh boy le, do you know that it was clothes that I ironed through out yesterday at that woman's place?
Ofego: Didn't I tell you not to go? All that clothes that you ironed, I was the one that washed them a day before yesterday.

brain teaser.... CRACK YOUR BRAINS: One fateful day a some rubbers went to rob a bank. The leader threatened to kill the cashier if he didn't open the vault. The cashier told him the vault is not opened with keys but with a password. You can't kill me since I am the only one who knows the password and everyday the password is different. He shot the cashier, entered the password,opened the vault and robbed all the money. What is the password?

valiantheartprod:
brain teaser.... CRACK YOUR BRAINS: One fateful day a some rubbers went to rob a bank. The leader threatened to kill the cashier if he didn't open the vault. The cashier told him the vault is not opened with keys but with a password. You can't kill me since I am the only one who knows the password and everyday the password is different. He shot the cashier, entered the password,opened the vault and robbed all the money. What is the password?

different

I'm still saying this and will continuously say it, you dated a girl for nine years without marrying her, and you are there complaining of a Governor that did nothing after eight years, honourable, abeg, how you take better pass the Governor?

Hahahahaha! Very Funny! What You Will See In This Video Will Surprise You http://www.njuwo.com/2016/06/very-funny-video-cut-njuwo-episode-12.html

smstv:
Harry Potter fans
http://smstv.org/fotogalerija/fotogalerija/170

Confirm magician

Yesterday, at around 1:13 am an admin for My Recent News with a nairaland username “Chefetalkane“, wrote a post on Nairaland with a caption ‘Not again! Amcon takes over afrijet airlines‘ which was previously on our website . The contents of the post was compromised by Nairaland and the heading subsequently was changed to ‘AMCON Takes Over Afrijet Airlines’. It was then made to be on the front page directing all traffic to The Nations Newspapers official website. Bringing to the front page simply means you cannot edit the... continue reading here http://myrecentnews.com/home/breaking-my-recent-news-set-to-sue-the-nation-newspaper-and-nairaland-to-the-tune-of-n100-m/

Ofego rented a house and moved in with his family. After four years his rent was increased from 200,000 Naira to 300,000 Naira, he didn't complain because he likes the house. The following year he could not come up with the money an d the caretaker was on his neck. His wife saw what he was going through and decided to go and borrow the money so that Ofego will pay it back later. Ofego was very happy. He paid back the cash when he got it. Four years later the rent increased again to 600,000 Naira and Ofego became upset. So he begged the Caretaker to introduce him to the Landlord so that he can talk to him one on one but the Caretaker bluntly refused. Ofego decided to do underground investigation to uncover who the Landlord is. The revelation of his investigation shocked him: The house belongs to his wife. Now my question is: As Ofego in this situation, what will you do?

Ofego took a medication. It escaped his mind to read the instruction on them. After a while, the label on the medication caught his attention. It reads, "Shake the bottle before usage". He realised he didn't do it and got up jumping up and shaking his body.

njuwo:
Ofego took a medication. It escaped his mind to
read the instruction on
them. After a while, the
label on the medication
caught his attention. It reads, "Shake the bottle
before usage". He realised
he didn't do it and got up jumping up and shaking his body.

you're dope

njuwo:
Three business associates, an Igbo man, a
Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat
lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere.
While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in
through the window. It flew across the table
to where the Igbo man was but he just
waved his hands to chase it away.
The fly then went to where the Yoruba man
was, he also chased it away.
Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese
man was and was flying close to his ears. The
Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime
and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and
swallowed it.
The other men saw this but just kept on
eating.
About Five minutes later, another fly came in
and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased
it away again.
It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time
he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for
sometime and then grabbed it. He then
turned to the Chinese man and asked "how
much you go buy am?"

u be idiot ,,,,hahahhahahhah lmao

Ofego who had long been vilified by his girlfriend for not buying her female underwear decided to oblige her on her birthday. So the day came and he went into a shop. He went straight to the bra section and just stood there staring at the several racks of diferent bra sizes . One of the shop attendants noticed him and came over to Ofego to assist. Attendant: Excuse me sir,can I help you with anything?
Ofego: Yes, yes!!
Attendant: Okay, how may I help you sir? Ofego: I want to buy a bra for my girlfriend, a beautiful bra.
Attendant: Well sir, as you can see, all our bras here are beautiful, what's your lady's bra size?
Ofego: Err, ermm, err, well I don't know.
Attendant: Okay, are they as big as paw paw? Ofego: No, not at all . Attendant: Okay, then,are they like water melon?
Ofego: No!
Attendant:How about oranges? Ofego: No!
Attendant:Well then,are they like eggs?
Ofego: (Smiling) Yesssss,they are like eggs, but fried eggs.

New Video From NJUWO: Network Complainant (Episode 14) See It Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/06/very-funny-video-network-complainant.html

Lol laugh wan kill me just can't stop laffin

njuwo:
Ofego saw a notice board in the middle of a river, he tried to read it, but couldn't, so he swam to the board in the middle of the river and read "DANGER! CROCODILES INSIDE, PLEASE DON'T SWIM"

Lmao

#TEAMFYNESTBOI

njuwo:
I'm still saying this and will continuously say it, you dated a girl for nine years without marrying her, and you are there complaining of a Governor that did nothing after eight years, honourable, abeg, how you take better pass the Governor?

Lol... I wonder o

Check for more at

http://gistzntrends..com.ng/

During the world war II the German POW Camp was getting over crowded, So the authorities decided they will set some prisoners free, so they called the head of the England section, the head of the Nigerian section and the head of the Ghanaian section to a meeting. The Commander said to them, "Due to our mighty armies capture of new prisoners we are going to give you old prisoners a chance of release. I will ask each of you a question, if you get it right or if you are reasonably close you will be set free along with your comrades. Pointing to the British man he said, "You British, what was Germany's Greatest Battle ?" The British man pondered, then said, "Dunkirk!" The Commander said, " Very good, British, you may gather your comrades together and leave the camp." Pointing to the Nigerian, he said, "You, Nigerian, how many died in that Great Battle?" The Nigerian pondered, then said, "About 5,000". The Commander said, "That's near enough, you may gather your men together and leave the camp." Then he pointed to the Ghanaian man and said, "You Ghanaian, what were their names and addresses?".