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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Crazy Jokes (1810 Views)
New crazy jokes to spice up your weekend. Hahahaha / Crazy Jokes / Share Your Crazy Jokes Here (2) (3) (4)
Crazy Jokes by manickal(m): 12:13pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell, the wife answers. 'Hi is Tony home?' 'No he went to the store.' 'Well, you mind if I wait?' 'No come in.' They sit down and the friend says 'You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one.' Nora thinks about this for a second an figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Chris says 'They are so beautiful I got to see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see the both of them together.' Nora thinks about this and says what the hell, opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves. A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says 'You know your weird friend Chris came over.' Tony thinks about this for a second and says 'Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?' |
Re: Crazy Jokes by manickal(m): 12:15pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
A man travels to Spain and goes to a Madrid restaurant for a late dinner. He orders the house special and he is brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects. "What's this?" he asks? "Cojones, senior," the waiter replies. "What are cojones?" the man asks. "Cojones," the waiter explains, "are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon." At first the man is disgusted; but being the adventurous type, he decides to try this local delicacy. To his amazement, it is quite delicious. In fact, it is so good that he decides to come back again the next night and order it again. This time, the waiter brings out the plate, but the meaty objects are much smaller. "What's this?" he asks the waiter. "Cojones, senior," the waiter replies. "No, no," the man objects, "I had cojones yesterday and they were much bigger than these." "Senior," the waiter explains, "the bull does not always lose." |
Re: Crazy Jokes by manickal(m): 12:20pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
A blonde walks past three men in the office who are all bemoaning the fact that they are about to be audited during the coming month. Says the first guy with a groan, "I'm screwed!" "I'm screwed, too!" says the other guy, slapping his forehead. "Guys, I am about to be f*cked beyond all recognition by this audit!" exclaims the third guy in anguish. Just then, one of the guys notices the blonde who has been standing there listening. She now has a very thoughtful look on her face. "Are you OK?" asks the guy. "Yes," replies the blond, "but I was wondering: how do I go about getting audited?" |
Re: Crazy Jokes by manickal(m): 12:25pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong and it breaks down. Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse. She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "It's Sunday night and my car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until tomorrow when I can get some help?" "Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messing with my sons Jed and Luke." She looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer. She judges them to be in the early twenties. "Okay," she says. After they have gone to bed for the night the woman begins to get a little Hot just thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?" They say, "Huh?" She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers." She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go it all night long. Forty years later, Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Jed says, "You remember that blonde woman that came by here about forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?" "Yeah", says Luke, "I remember." "Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" "Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not." "Me neither" says Jed, "Let's take these things off!" |
Re: Crazy Jokes by manickal(m): 12:26pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
A man has a conversation with his girlfriend. Man: Every times I see you I think of the sea. Girlfriend: Because I'm fun, wild and excited? Man: Nope, because you make me sick. |
Re: Crazy Jokes by manickal(m): 12:33pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
This man goes into a pet store and asks the owner for something special for his wife. The owner says, "I have a parrot that sings Christmas Songs". The man says, "I have to see that!". So the owner takes out his lighter and holds it under the parrots right foot and the parrot sings, "Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way" The man says, "Can he sing anything else?" The owner holds the lighter under the parrots left foot and the parrot sings "Up on the house top, reindeer paws". The man says "I'll take it". He takes the parrot home to his wife and tells her the parrot sings. She says, "I want to see that". The man takes out his lighter and holds it under the parrots right foot and the parrot sings "Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way". Then he holds the lighter under the parrots left foot and the parrot sings "Up on the house top, reindeer paws". The wife says, "Can he sing anything else?". The man says, "I don't know - lets try". He holds the lighter under the parrots middle and the parrot sings "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, ". |
Re: Crazy Jokes by manickal(m): 12:35pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date, nor any sex, in quite sometime. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her MD recommended a Dr. Chang. She went to see Dr. Chang and, upon entering the examination room, he said, "Ok, take off all your crose" "Now, get down and crawl reery fass to the other side of room." She does. Dr. Chang then said, "Ok now crawl reery fass to me." So she did. Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, "Your probrem vewy bad, you haf Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, that why you not haf sex or dates." Confused, the woman said, "What is Zachary Disease?" Dr. Chang replied, "It when your face rook Zachary rike your ass." |
Re: Crazy Jokes by mykali(m): 12:41pm On Jun 14, 2008 |
nice jokes man. |
Re: Crazy Jokes by Nobody: 12:44pm On Jun 14, 2008 |
good jokes dear ![]() ![]() |
Re: Crazy Jokes by manickal(m): 1:17pm On Jun 14, 2008 |
A fella finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. Ol' Peter explains that it's not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed. For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No? , that's bad, that's bad , Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? , No?. , not good, not good, Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? , NO?? Exasperated, Peter says, "Look, EVERYBODY does something nice sometime. Work with me, I'm trying to help. Now think!" The man says, "There WAS this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around. Taunting and abusing her. I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought thru the crowd and got her purse back. Helped her to her feet. I then went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and SPIT in his face". "Wow", said Peter, "That's impressive. When did this happen"? "Oh, about 10 minutes ago", replied the man. |
Re: Crazy Jokes by manickal(m): 1:26pm On Jun 14, 2008 |
Good Alaskan Fishing The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. "We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper. "Tell me! Did you find her?!" Wilkens shouted. The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first." The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay." "Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "what's the good news?" The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her." Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?" The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow." |
Re: Crazy Jokes by manickal(m): 1:28pm On Jun 14, 2008 |
A guy moves into an apartment complex. He's putting his name on his mailbox when he hears a door open in the hall. He glances towards the door and sees a gorgeous woman dressed only in a bathrobe come out. He tries not to look at her as she gets her mail, but she engages him in conversation. As they talk she turns to look down the hall and her robe opens slightly and he notices she is wearing only the robe. They talk a little more, and she says, "Shhh, I think I hear somebody coming. Could we continue this conversation in my apartment?" He agrees to this. As they talk in her apartment, she moves and her robe falls to the floor and he gets a good eyeful. She then says, "Now that you've had a good look, what do you think is the best part of my body?" He says, "Your ears." She replies, "My ears? Look at these breasts, look at this butt, look at my pussy. How can you say my ears?" He replied, "Remember in the hall when you said you heard somebody coming? That was me!" |
Re: Crazy Jokes by Jeovy(m): 7:11am On Jun 15, 2008 |
Oga,u go share all the jokes finish.leave some for us to share |
Re: Crazy Jokes by krama(m): 12:05pm On Jun 15, 2008 |
Cool ![]() |
Re: Crazy Jokes by CrazyMan(m): 3:26pm On Jun 15, 2008 |
Nice jokes |
Re: Crazy Jokes by FELORE(f): 6:48pm On Jul 17, 2008 |
don't get da last joke, explain! |
Re: Crazy Jokes by mohawkchic(f): 8:36pm On Jul 17, 2008 |
~ Mohawkchic Applauds manickal ![]() |
Re: Crazy Jokes by benjay1(m): 11:20pm On Jul 17, 2008 |
manickal: ROFLMAO ![]() |
Re: Crazy Jokes by mykali(m): 8:05pm On Jul 18, 2008 |
were are the jokes mahyn !!! |
Re: Crazy Jokes by manickal(m): 6:59pm On Apr 07, 2009 |
@mykali i see you have taken over from where i stopped. |
Re: Crazy Jokes by benjay1(m): 10:04pm On Apr 07, 2009 |
Hi there people ![]() |
Re: Crazy Jokes by Lolabbey: 5:22pm On Apr 08, 2009 |
ur teeth are getting bigger by d day |
Re: Crazy Jokes by D1KeleVra(m): 7:53pm On Apr 15, 2009 |
Jeovy: ur lappy still dey boot shey? ![]() |
Re: Crazy Jokes by jmkbond(f): 8:01pm On Apr 15, 2009 |
nice jokesssss |
Re: Crazy Jokes by Lolajoy(f): 5:16am On Feb 01, 2010 |
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Re: Crazy Jokes by mykali(m): 1:15pm On Feb 01, 2010 |
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Re: Crazy Jokes by Kunbee: 11:45pm On Feb 01, 2010 |
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