OLD WOMAN WHO HAS A BABY

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says, "Not yet."
A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says, "Not yet."
Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?"
And the mother says, "When the baby cries."
So they ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?"
The new mother says, "I forgot where I put it."

Q: How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?
A: Give him a piece of paper with "Please turn over" written on both sides.

An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running.
A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.
Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, "I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer,
"I think I'm planting them too deep."

That guy must be really stupid.
Keep it up nice jokes

Nice jokes.

You guys're good.
Keep 'em coming.

Honestly speaking, i have started looking younger than my age cos u guys make me laugh everyday,
nice one,
keep it up.

Thanks for your posts.

Lets have this one.

FLOORING THE FERRARI
Doing 120 in a 65, he knew he was in trouble when the cop pulled in behind him with the roof lights on. Figuring he could just lose the cop he floored the Ferrari. 130, 140, 150 and still the cop was right on his tail. 170, 180, still could not ditch the cop. Giving up he pulled over.
The cop approached the car," Give me one damn good reason why I shouldn't give you the biggest ticket this world has ever seen"
"Well, he stated, " Just last week my wife ran off with a cop."
"SO WHAT!!!" the cop screamed.
"I thought you were trying to bring her back."

PHYSICAL EXAMINATION
A young man goes to a doctor for a physical examination. When he gets into the room, the man strips for his exam. He has a dick the size of a little kid's little finger. A nurse standing in the room sees his little dick and begins to laugh hysterically.
The young man gives her a stern look and say, "You shouldn't laugh, it's been swollen like that for two weeks now!"

WILL IT HURT MUCH, DOCTOR?
A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"
The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."
"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.
"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little, "
"Like this?"
"A little more, "
"Like this?"
"No. A little more, "
"Like this?"
"Yes. Does that hurt?"
"A little bit."
"Now stretch it over your head!"

NEW SECRETARY

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!"
Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!

Lets set the Laughing Tool!

segoye2:

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!"
Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!

Wtf?
Damn!

;Dvery funny sesgosy where do u get ur jokes frm