My wife is more than Jealous. I have a son from my past relationship which almost ended up to marriage but due to some circumstance which was my formal girlfriend fault made it impossible for us to marry which prompted my marriage to my present wife.

She knows about this child even from the first day we started dating up till marriage and she claim to love the child but whenever I go to visit the child she will get angry reason because I will see her mother, Whenever my son's mum call me to update me about my child her mood will change. She knows it is impossible for me to see or communicate with a 3year old minor without the presence of his mother at-lest until He comes of age.

What do I do? I love my son but I dont want my marriage to break

It's certainly possible she's just being unreasonably jealous in which case, if I were you, I would do absolutely nothing different (as long as I'm innocent of wrongdoing).

But, I have a question for you. Given a second chance, which of the two women would you choose to marry?

Your wife will have to deal with it since you never hid it from her from the beginning. Do not entertain fear, the boy needs you in his life as much as your wife needs you too.

It is your wife that needs counselling here. If she is insecure, why did she marry you in the first place knowing fully well of your status. Have you ever brought the child home to spend some weeks or days with you? If you have done that, what was your wife's reaction?

If she reacted and responded well to the boy, it could be that she is getting scared of you playing side games with the boy's mother and if otherwise, she has a big issue called jealousy...

Whichever way, find a way of dealing with your son by limiting contact with the mother if possible and if not, your wife should exercise patience...

My advice is this; if you really love your wife and your child which I suspect is the case, you must find a way to reassure your wife that she is the woman you love, not the mother of your son. Once she is secure she will not be so jealous. However if she is still acting up, include her in your visits to see your son. As your son grows up suggest he is allowed to spend time with you in your own house with your wife.

I suspect seeing how close you were to marrying the mother of your son, your wife feels threatened and under some pressure. Reassure her and you will see the difference.

Give her belle so that equation go balance.
It also depends on d tribe. That boy is obviously a threat to her. And since d boys mum is yet single( I assume),well, her heart rate will keep on increasing. This is d reality.

Some things r better said than practised. Majority of us ladies will feel threatened too if we find ourselves in her shoe.


No matter what,she gat to be jealous that u discuss with ur ex always(even though its only about ur boy)
So do ur homework well b4 it turns into another thing.

@ileobatojo Given 1 Million chance I will marry my wife serious

@bellong Am yet to bring the boy home but I dont think she will have problem with that provided my son's mother is not anywhere close to the house. I can swear with my life that am not playing sideshow with the mother of my son

@smartmom I have done that time and time again but jealousy has taken over her, she even expect me to communicate with the boy and not the mother but I keep telling her that it is impossible at this stage of his life.. @ yellowpawpaw She carry belle few months away from delivery

smartmom: My advice is this; if you really love your wife and your child which I suspect is the case, you must find a way to reassure your wife that she is the woman you love, not the mother of your son. Once she is secure she will not be so jealous. However if she is still acting up, include her in your visits to see your son. As your son grows up suggest he is allowed to spend time with you in your own house with your wife.

I suspect seeing how close you were to marrying the mother of your son, your wife feels threatened and under some pressure. Reassure her and you will see the difference.

this is the same advice I would give. Mr Delnib, take your wife with you when you go to see your son. Let her see the relationship btw the 2 of you and you need to reassure her there is nothing going on btw you and ur ex.

delinb: @ileobatojo Given 1 Million chance I will marry my wife serious

Great to hear. I hope she knows it, if not, please make sure she does.

Just make sure the mother of the child is not unnecessarily/excessively part of your time with your son that's all. But that's the most you can do. Beyond that, your wife will just need to take a chill pill.

@Daresh My Son and ex live in another city 2 hours drive away from where I stay. I dont think is Ok to go with my wife, she may get too jealous and do something stupid or maybe am wrong but I know my wife is extremely jealous.

With time my son will come and spend sometime with me until HE come of age for me to take custody of him but what I need now is my wife UNDERSTANDING. She promised me before I married her that she will take the boy as her own son but now jealous have taken over her sense of reasoning.

delinb: She carry belle few months away from delivery

This actually has me even more worried. Not for you dude, but for your son.
More often than not, jealousy is irrational and as such is very difficult to "treat" except the person who is jealous chooses to cure herself (in this case). I fear your wife may only get worse after the birth of her child. If it is a boy, she's gonna start scheming about inheritance. If it's a girl, either your baby mama or your son in a witch. Do you get where I am going?

The problem is not your wife. It is our society. When people live with the belief that men are always unfaithful or if they do not secure their children's inheritance, someone will come and take it from them bla bla bla, the truthful fact that you love your wife vanishes into thin air.

I don't really know what you can do except pray and pray very hard at that, but I think you need to comsider where this thing could end up and start making plans to difuse it before it blows up in your face.

Goodluck dude.

delinb: @ileobatojo Given 1 Million chance I will marry my wife serious

Awwwww! This is what you need to tell her. She just needs to feel assured of her standing with you is all.

My own sha is she shouldn't dare try to cut you off from your son or even treat him in any way but good and kind coz the gloves are gonna have to come off (I'm serious oh ). I ain't asking you to be suspicious of her every move when it comes to your little darling but just don't take anything for granted.

All the best!!

delinb: @Daresh My Son and ex live in another city 2 hours drive away from where I stay. I dont think is Ok to go with my wife, she may get too jealous and do something stupid or maybe am wrong but I know my wife is extremely jealous.

Look you have to find a way to make it work. With time she might take her jealousy out on your son. Take her with you even if it is 7 hours away. Let her know you trust her not to do anything rash and keep your distance from the boys mun while u are there.

@op was she doing this befor, befor she got preg? preg women tend to feel they are out of shape and their spouse may not see them attractive. If this is the case, she will feel more insecure now than before. If U can, limit Ur visit now, invite your son over instead or go with her always, as someone has emphasied. Spend more time with her and she will feel prefered. In your discusion about your son, AVOID frequent mention of his mother...Draw the line.

You can also gradually make her feel its her first son..."when have you decided we go and see our son"...hard but possible, that way she may feel involved... She decided to marry you, she automatically "adopt" your son...
All the best.

LewsTherin @ I fully understand you bro, I dont know if she expect me to be hidden things from her, maybe next time if am visiting my son I wont tell her maybe this will solve the problem. Women dont like someone telling them the truth they prefare lies than truth serious.

@Daresh How do you expect me to keep distance from the mother of my son at this time, my son is only 3yrs do you expect him to come out on his own and meet me? impossible

delinb: LewsTherin @ I fully understand you bro, I dont know if she expect me to be hidden things from her, maybe next time if am visiting my son I wont tell her maybe this will solve the problem. Women dont like someone telling them the truth they prefare lies than truth serious.

You see this is the thing that annoys me about you men, you think you know it all. Ok then lie to her, and let her find out you went there secretly. What message does that pass across? It will seem like you are playing hanky panky with your ex. Im a lady, I gave u good advice, instead you choose to ignore and do what you think is wise. Tomorrow you will come and start singing divorce tunes. Well goodluck to you.

delinb: @Daresh How do you expect me to keep distance from the mother of my son at this time, my son is only 3yrs do you expect him to come out on his own and meet me? impossible

Keep ur distance doesnt mean you should stand outside and horn for the boy. It means dont talk with her too much, or pay her any mind. Just ask her the most necessary questions and focus your attention on the boy.

@itsmelex Not that I visit him always my last visit was 6months ago, I actually went to register him in school. Am really confuse here

@ Daresh All my attention,discussion etc are my son and not his mother, whenever I go there I take picture of my son alone and I make sure that her mother is not included in the picture. I dont know what else to do to prove that am innocent.

Daresh has given you good advice, take your wife along to see the boy, after all he is going to have a sibling soon. I would have suggested you get a phone for him, but he is too young.

First of all congrats cos she loves u and if she doesn't care or stop caring and getting jealous that means she doesn't give a f**k and concerning your son keep on talking 2 her calmly or better still u guys should go together!!!

Your wife knew what she bargained for before she married you. I placed myself in her shoes with her attitude but she's just plain jealous and doesn't sound very nice.

I'm terrified for the poor young dude if you she ( wife) never have a boy child for you.

Why should you take her by all means , the boy's just 3?didn't she trust you? So she'll make a scene if you even take her? 6 months interval visitation and she's still turning green? Treat others how you want to be treated.

Verbally assurance is enough, put your foot down diplomatically for her, I know her type, no matter how you try to make peace , they won't buy it.

Take note of what somebody said, don't take anything forgranted, human beings are crude.

Good luck.

Thanks all. I have learn't alot f rom you all but no matter how hard I try she is too jealous to reason.

Of course she won't.

That boy is better off either with his mom , your mom or boarding school , not your house, I smell horror in there for the boy.

You'll be gone all day if you know where I'm heading?

Good luck! SMDH

delinb: Thanks all. I have learn't alot f rom you all but no matter how hard I try she is too jealous to reason.

Then ignore her abeg. Do your part, do what you have to do, let her deal with her own issues by herself. There's no reason for you to continually have to walk on eggshells just to maintain a relationship with your son. The son she knew about all along and promised to love. I just hope she won't take out her jealousy on the boy if he is ever in your house. Gosh I can't stand unreasonable people. I hope for your son's sake she is not wicked to boot.

Why is it that women can promise everyrhing in this world only for them to change after marriage?

Not all women.. next life look wella before you leap.

There are desperate wolves out there in sheep's skin ... Make it work , be strong and don't fret... that's all I can say. Good luck

You must be a VERY POOR MAN!!!
No woman can DARE question a TRUE breadwinner's authority I swear!

You are married to a WITCH simple!
As you take enter for dia, COMOT YA AZZZZE!

You have made your bed!
YOU BEEN DEY FAIN "FRRRRRESH", VAJIN-BRIDE, WITH OKIJA-CHRISTIAN FLOWING WHITE GOWN ABI?

Next time, MARRRY A WOMAN THAT HAS BEEN ABANDONED BY A FELLOW BABY-DADDY LIKEY YA!!!!

Don't allow one miserable and insecure BYTCH of a wife to make you dis-inherit your first son, LIKE OJUKWU AND "DEBE"!

When you quench, YAWA GO GASSS OH!!!

After ya wife go SLEEP FFK finish, NYYYYYANSH BOTH YOUR DEAD-BARRRRRY AND GEJ OWN TAKE REACH SPAIN, this your EXTREME BITTER "KOLA-WOLE" of a son go KAM to tanda for NL dey shout "HARLOT-HARLOT"!!!! While YOUR QUEEN OF ASSSSHAWO-SHEBA, abi na CARRIBEAN-BIAFRAN QUEEN locks OUT ALL YOUR older children out of their own home, ALL THE WAY FROM SPAIN!!!!

@op, if you have sincerely and consistently assured her of your love and she knew about your status before you both married, then, leave her alone, she will sort herself out someday. The problem I guess with her is that, she's insecure, but for now, there is little you can do about that, since you are already married.
Keep on taking care of her and your child, keep on updating her on when you are going to visit him and when you are back, also tell her what happened there. Do not allow her to turn you to a bad dad, continue doing good and keep informing her, with time, she will realize you are being honest with her and will relax.
But sincerely, I will advise you not to bring your son over to your place now until she comes around to reason with you and believe and accept everything you tell her concerning you and your ex relationship as true, because jealous people can be hard to predict o.
May God uphold your home.