How will he visit his son without discussing with the ex...its impossible... Visiting the son is not limited to just seeing his face, he will have to ask a lot of questions about the boy's welfare and development. Infact, so many things to discuss with the ex about the boy.

If what you have described above is the truth of all the actions you have taken, I want to say you have no fault and have done what is needful. For someone this jealous of a boy's mother she never met, how will it be if you take her along with you considering pregnancy hormones running in her. Taking her along to me is not a good choice except you are convinced she wouldn't create drama there.

This is why I do not like women who are irrationally jealous because their insecurity will make everything looks tricky and false. She has to find a way of dealing with her personal issues. As advised, you have to let her trust you too and be secured about her stand and future of the unborn child.

Never ever let her issues discourage you from performing your fatherly roles in the life of that innocent boy. He is in his formative years and he needs you more now than ever.

May God help you...

Thanks all. I want to stop eaten her food untill she trust me how about that?

delinb: Thanks all. I want to stop eaten her food untill she trust me how about that?

, na wah! Naija men dey enjoy oh.hahaha

If na me, hunger go quench you. I no send. Which kin small pikin sense you get sef.
Whether you eat food or not,if she doesn't trust you, trust won't suddenly come because you didn't eat her food.

By the way, she is far pregnant, and she is still cooking for you, when will you start cooking and petting her. She is carry your baby bro and here you are, whining..

Na wah!

Anyway, e no concern me jor

delinb: Thanks all. I want to stop eaten her food untill she trust me how about that?

Do not even try this. You will invite more horror to the drama than imagined..

There are better ways to let her earn your trust and food-strike is none of it. Be the man of the house, stand your ground in seeing to the welfare of your son and let her handle her jealousy.

Keep doing what you have been doing that is right.

@Chilli,

Thanks

bellong: ^^^ Do not even try that. You will invite more horror to the drama than imagined..

There are better ways to let her earn your trust and food-strike is none of it. Be the man of the house, stand your ground in seeing to the welfare of your son and let her handle her jealousy.

Keep doing what you have been doing that is right.

You might want to edit your post, cos unfortunately, I posted before you .

I guess you are addressing the Op

Poster, You have done NOTHING wrong, don't be guilted and blackmailed because you want to have a relationship with your son.
Your wife is the one who needs to act on her jealousy.

She knew you had a child not as if you had the child out of wedluck, she can't wish your Baby Mama away.

I have an ex husband, at one point we were not only caring for my Exes Mom but my Ex himself was briefly at our place before he left for treatment abroad.

My Exes Brother till he married recently had a permanent Food Flask in our house, infact it was a struggle for me to let go because he was like the baby brother I never had, I still find myself wondering if he is eating well, lol.

The point am making with this long story is that people need to be more in control of their emotions, especially of you marry someone you know has baggage. If she didn't want to deal with Baby Mama drama she shouldn't have married you.

The solution is not in malice of refusing to eat her food but in being firm on your decision.

Don't compromise your sons welfare because of her insecurity.
The boy didn't ask to be born, he is here and deserves the love of a father and a mother even if there are not together.

I don't support yanking the boy away from his mother because of her insecurity, because the way she is behaving I suspect she has tendencies to maltreat him when she has her own kids.

Sit her down and firmly tell her these facts:

1. She is not in competition in anyway with your son or his mother, she should find a way to make peace with that.

2. The welfare of your son is your top responsibility as a parent and she should make peace with that.

3. You will always have to deal with your son and his mother as long as you live so she needs to understand that tantrum throwing and fighting over this won't change the fact.

If she wanted a baggageless man she should have married one, not agree to marry one and come and shift goal post now.

Not everyone has the strenght to deal with someone with an ex or a child from a previous relationship, that is why when you realise the person you are with has baggage and you know you have jealousy monsters leave and let the person be with someone who can handle baggage.

My husband even when my ex was making our lives hell will always be calm and tell me that the man is hurt because he lost me and so I shouldn't blame him. He should have been adding petrol to fire but he was calm and kept it under control because he knew he could handle it.

If madam couldn't handle baggage she shouldn't have married you, blackmailing a parent is not it at all.

Sorry I am a little personal with this.

Best wishes

@ debrief08 I wish she will have the same reasoning like you.

@ chaircover: Am as truthfull as God in the bible. I dont have anything to do with my son's mum and will never do just for what she did that cursed our separation.

delinb: @ debrief08 I wish she will have the same reasoning like you.

Stop the lamentation and go and handle your family issues smartly.

It is not easy for anyone having to deal with baggagge so don't compare our reasoning.
Half of the things my husband dealt with and still deals with I doubt I would be able to handle so well and so smoothly.

My only problem with your wife is she knew what she was getting into, the reality of the situation may be different from what she imagined but she should work on her jealousy.
People are different and respond differently.

I will only carry her along if she can reduce her jealousy. I dont want her to create any scene there.

Women. . . Women . . . Women . . . SMH!

rigormortis: stewpeed be-ach, fvkc one last and divorce her

agwa m gi kwusi icha anya ahu I na acha mana I geghi nti, u see ur life nw...

@OP stop eating her food ke? Hunger neva wire u bt anyway judgin frm ur wife's personality she is d kind dt will cry n begin to beg u... Anyways in doing that u'll b doin more harm than Good as she'll believe ur EX hs given u sth to eat that u re nw rejecting her own food.
U hv to carry ur own cross for having a baby out of wedlock, U hv to love her like that n keep assuring her of ur love n faithfulness until 3/4 yrs time wen ur Son is mature enuf to come live with u. Den she won't worry no more abt d baby mama n anything she is cookin up to seduce u back(cos dts her state of mind nw).

PS:IF u resort to any unloving Act towards her to solve dis prob, den trust me it'll escalate more than u'll ever imagine, she'll transfer watever hate u show her towards ur son n nt just d baby mama dis tym.

Chomzy19: agwa m gi kwusi icha anya ahu I na acha mana I geghi nti, u see ur life nw...

@OP stop eating her food ke? Hunger neva wire u bt anyway judgin frm ur wife's personality she is d kind dt will cry n begin to beg u... Anyways in doing that u'll b doin more harm than Good as she'll believe ur EX hs given u sth to eat that u re nw rejecting her own food.
U hv to carry ur own cross for having a baby out of wedlock, U hv to love her like that n keep assuring her of ur love n faithfulness until 3/4 yrs time wen ur Son is mature enuf to come live with u. Den she won't worry no more abt d baby mama n anything she is cookin up to seduce u back(cos dts her state of mind nw).

PS:IF u resort to any unloving Act towards her to solve dis prob, den trust me it'll escalate more than u'll ever imagine, she'll transfer watever hate u show her towards ur son n nt just d baby mama dis tym.

ikpi ree kwa gi okun there

Raincoat is very cheap. Manufacturers and govt knew why they made it cheap so its not a case of no money.
A lot of marital problems would not have surfaced had boys and gals like using their sixth sense.

Gals more especially, u r always on d losing side considering ur tribe.
Not only will u be termed single parent, after puttin ur life on hold and probably messed up bc of one irresponsible act, at the end of the day d child looks for his daddy,he will also answer daddy's name.
Daddy will go and marry one omoge while u r viewed by many as dustbin.
Or better still, when will u stop aborting? It will definitely haunt u especially when u marry and pregnancy is delayed.
Let those that have ears hear.

this is called baby mama drama.

when the thing dey sweet you, you werent planning for this no doubt.

of course, regardless what you "work out", the boy remains at the receiving end of the drama, after all is said and done, you, your baby mama/s and whichever woman/women you end up with, will sort yourselves out, not so for the products of una romps.

@ topic

panshing the baby mama, no doubt.

super story.

the hunger strike part..lol

Oga ur wife jealouss,she change after marriage,she is diobedent,dnt u tink dis r signs dat she wasn't meant for u?how can u be cmplaining of a woman wit all dis attributes.na u carry ur hand put for fire.u ave a luvly son out dr.pls oh wateva u do know dat God fights for those dat r innocent.and wit dis problem mind u u will ave more to cm nd u will never rest cos of dat innocent child oudr.who knows if ur baby mama has cried unto d lord.I pity u sha.

I just feel for the innocent boy because with the way your is going,i doubt if she'll take your son as hers.
Sit and down and talk to her. Don't even know what to say. Just go with chaircover and debrief's advice. It is well.

@delinb, hmmmmmmm...my penny thot.

You have to stop telling yourself she's jealous. Her preggy hormones can be an added factor here you know, so please remain calm with her I sincerely plead.

Also make sure your son's mother doesn't call you at odd hours except its so serious abeg so it doesn't ignite unnecessary tots in her head(like some posters said its a function of men not been trusted). I also suggest you get her distracted (hug her, peck her unexpected etc)when you want to mention anything about your son;don't dwell too much on it so she doesn't take it as u pride your son over her.

She'll be fine no worries and above all she's not jealous!!!!

Rubish jealousy. Was d boys mother not there before her. Wen she starts just remind her of dis