Ladies, I came across this forum from Google Search Engine. However, the discussion began in 2006 and seemed to extend to 2011. Now it is 2013 and African American women have the need to dialogue about men from Africa coming to America marrying an African American woman for the purpose of obtaining a green card, while most hold White woman to a higher level of praise. I am glad to see this forum. I have began blogging about this issue. Romance was limited. I believe my ex married me for the purpose of obtaining a Green Card. I was so in love with him. I am not sure if my video will be uploaded, but I want to know if African women from Africa agree with me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUFMyq1fYHg

Looking forward to marrying my very own 'Afro-American beauty'.. Who cares much about the green card anyways?? I'd always known it'll be in the mix!

I don't know your origin of birth, but when you did not sign up for the "mix" and did not learn of his citizenship until after you said, "I do," then caring about The Green Card become an issue that forever lingers in the back of your mind. Thankfully, you have honesty going into your marriage. Good for you! Sincerely, congrats and wishing you much love and prosperity.

I sort of read your profile and I noticed you've got some (serious) task up your sleeve.. Mind expantiating more on the initiative behind the 'green card game'?
P.S.. I'm a Nigerian

Sure. The Green Card Game: I Married an African Physician is specific to my story. The blog I have started this week is titled, "The Green Card Game" Perhaps others have fallen victim to African men marrying African American women for the purpose of obtaining citizenship. Therefore, their story may read The Green Card Game: He promised to pay me; The Green Card Game: We had children during our marriage-now what?
My initiative is to start a national dialogue to help other young African American women at minimal understand what they are truly getting themselves into. If you watched my video, then you have been introduced to my story. I am nearly finished with my memoir and it is full of facts from e-mails, written transcripts, and so forth to begin the process of cleansing my name. My ex was the most manipulative man I have ever met. It is time to share my story and begin healing. Thanks for chiming in.

The game is real!!!

By now, you AA peeps should have been wiser. Are you saying you did not gain anything from the 'manipulative man'?

Dear Tina, please stop hurting. If you think you had it bad, you need to visit Nigeria and see what NIGERIAN WOMEN go through with NIGERIAN MEN! At least you still have YOUR MOUTH TO TALK about your experiences!

You have to move on dear!

You do NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH A NIGERIAN MAN! They are NOT capable of loving even themselves. They can't help it.

NIGERIAN women go through the same manipulation from the sociopaths!

I am a NIGERIAN WOMAN! I would NEVER dream of dating an AA man. Not even an OBAMA!!!

Bottom line? Stick to your own AA man!!!

NO MATTER HOW DYSFUNCTIONAL AND 'MENTALLY-INCARCERATED AND CASTRATED' my NIGERIAN HUSBAND IS. . .I will prefer him ANY DAY, ANY TIME!!! I sabi deal with them WELLU-WELLU!

For most relationships, individuals tend to have reasons and motives for going into it. Some because the guy is rich, the lady will give free s-ex and many more sincere and insincere reasons. The onus lies on each partner to ascertain the sincerity and intention of each other in the relationship.

My blame will mostly be on the ladies that are swindled into marriage for selfish gain of the men involved because most, if not all, of those women do not apply their head and brain in verifying the sincerity of the men. They are always betrayed by their emotions and sweet talk, probably because they have not heard such sweet words from men in a long time. No matter how good a guy can lie, he will always leave a loophole showing his real motive for the relationship and only the lady whose emotion has not taking over her reasoning can detect this.

Advise your fellow African-American women to do their due diligence in verifying the identity and sincerity of a guy before throwing away all forms of sensible caution.

I wish you God speed. Deceiving people into marriage, toying with their emotions and making their life miserable is really unacceptable. If people must commit green card fraud, best to stick to the arranged one agreed upon beforehand by both parties. Sorry for what you went through and all the best as you heal.

MyTeenCity: Sure. The Green Card Game: I Married an African Physician is specific to my story. The blog I have started this week is titled, "The Green Card Game" Perhaps others have fallen victim to African men marrying African American women for the purpose of obtaining citizenship. Therefore, their story may read The Green Card Game: He promised to pay me; The Green Card Game: We had children during our marriage-now what?
My initiative is to start a national dialogue to help other young African American women at minimal understand what they are truly getting themselves into. If you watched my video, then you have been introduced to my story. I am nearly finished with my memoir and it is full of facts from e-mails, written transcripts, and so forth to begin the process of cleansing my name. My ex was the most manipulative man I have ever met. It is time to share my story and begin healing. Thanks for chiming in.

this is hilarious.....
why do you think your husband is manipulative in what seems like a symbiotic relationship? just like you did the selection process of getting a man that is a professional, tall, dark & handsome is the way the african men also do their selection.....

why are the african men not whining that AA women only go for professional african men & not the layabouts? you cannot say you did not gain something in the relationship. as much as marrying for the green card may look immoral, it's the same thing as women marrying for physical looks or moneybags.

blah blah blah. cry me a river. I can not even begin to count the number of hardworking Nigerian men who have been thrown out of their homes by AA women. Nigerian men endure physical and verbal abuse from white and AA women. There are two sides to every story.

Since 6 yrs, you are still healing....

My dear, you need beyond sharing your story to get healed. The guy really messed you up!

Bringing it to this forum will certainly tear you down. You will then begin to question your opinion .

Welcome to nairaland, go and get your bullet proof cos more Naija men are coming on you. You wan come stop their hope. Lai lai.
Visa lottery is over, you want to block them using this opportunity. E no go work o.


Hehehehhe

Naija men change oooooooo.
*sipping my black coffee with Victoria's Secret gateau***

Dear Tina, Chillisauce has told you what you should know and expect from 'we', Nairaland folks (not everyone though). You do not need to listen to what everyone say, as some tend to post before they think.
However, just a little diversion in my opinion. I think marriage needs all those securities to work out, and the demand of those security is what leads to the one-sidedness of what should be a mutual affair. However, there should be 'Love' from at least, one of both parties in the worst scenarios. Meaning, maybe you should not get 'so' angry over the manipulation. Even if it's against your will and desire for a relationship, you just helped someone you love out. You really have to pull through and be strong for all who need you. Encourage others to be smart, but not afraid to take risks for those they love. Adele sure passes a similar message in 'Someone like you'.. God speed in your doings. It is well.

@teen city

I went through your vid

Its sad considering what you went through.. but if as you said there is nothing new with visa marriage fraud, why did you still get involved

You are and were aware afrikans may be coming from a less financially endowed situation so some unscrupulous ones will do anything to get residence in the west.

Sorry you got played but how is this different from women who serially marry millionaires so they can a good payday when they are divorced

Wish you the best in your rehab... stick to what u know

Move on....




Know you who love and Love who you Know

coogar:

this is hilarious.....
why do you think your husband is manipulative in what seems like a symbiotic relationship? just like you did the selection process of getting a man that is a professional, tall, dark & handsome is the way the african men also do their selection.....

why are the african men not whining that AA women only go for professional african men & not the layabouts? you cannot say you did not gain something in the relationship. As much as marrying for the green card may look immoral, it's the same thing as women marrying for physical looks or moneybags.

He he he lwtmb bobo cougar yi tun ti de o, make you no kill persin with laff. As my Yoruba people will say 'aaya gbon Ogungbe naa gbon, aaya n tiro Ogungbe n bere'

bellong: For most relationships, individuals tend to have reasons and motives for going into it. Some because the guy is rich, the lady will give free s-ex and many more sincere and insincere reasons. The onus lies on each partner to ascertain the sincerity and intention of each other in the relationship.

My blame will mostly be on the ladies that are swindled into marriage for selfish gain of the men involved because most, if not all, of those women do not apply their head and ubrain in verifying the sincerity of the men. They are always betrayed by their emotions and sweet talk, probably because they have
not heard such sweet words from men in a long time. No
matter how good a guy can lie, he will always leave a loophole
showing his real motive for the relationship and only the lady
whose emotion has not taking over her reasoning can detect
this.

Advise your fellow African-American women to do their due diligence in verifying the identity and sincerity of a guy before throwing away all forms of sensible caution.

@bellong, please take your advice to OP a step further on how to do a due diligence on a Nigerian man. Where should she start as the guy is from a thousand miles away for once and the only thing she has to do is to trust and believe what he says. Unless your advise to the women of the world is never ever to trust Nigerian men. Its not like there are databases people can check on like US search etc, or numbers to call to verify any information you might suspect like if the guy is married or not.What you asking these women to do is a mamoth task
especially when one is inlove. I really think your blame is hugely
misplaced on this one.

Its not as if people only fall inlove with Nigerian man only, different races from different corners of the world get into relationships everyday and sincere ones at that, so what you are saying is ladies must treat Nigerian men differently with suspicion and mistrust? If this is is your advice please let it be known so thatwhen the Op writes and publishes her memoirs she could quote advice from a Nigerian forum, from Nigerians to advise her fellow sisters better.

@Op, Sis I can feel your pain. Its sad really that this happened to you and you are not to blame otherwise they would not say "love is blind". Do whatever you need to do to heal and have a new start. You are a beautiful lady and I know your children
(if you have any) are blessed to have a mother like you. It's
alright dear. May God help you in your healing process.

sweetcheecks: [/b]
@bellong, please take your advice to OP a step further on how to do a due diligence on a Nigerian man. Where should she start as the guy is from a thousand miles away for once and the only thing she has to do is to trust and believe what he says. Unless your advise the women of the world is never ever to trust Nigerian men. Its not like there are databases people can check on like US search etc, or numbers to call to verify any information you might suspect like if the guy is married or not.What you asking these women to do is a mamoth task
especially when one is inlove. I really think your blame is hugely
misplaced on this one.

Its not as if people only fall inlove with Nigerian man only, different races from different corners of the world get into relationships everyday and sincere ones at that, so what you are saying is ladies must treat Nigerian men differently with suspicion and mistrust? If this is is your advice please let it be known so thatwhen the Op writes and publishes her memoirs she could quote advice from a Nigerian forum, from Nigerians to advise her fellow sisters better.

@Op, Sis I can feel your pain. Its sad really that this happened to you and you are not to blame otherwise they would not say "love is blind". Do whatever you need to do to heal and have a new start. You are beautiful lady and I am sure your children (if you have any) are blessed to have a mother like you. It's alright dear. May the God help you in your healing process.

I am very sorry that I may not be able to help you to comprehend what I wrote. Is there anywhere in my comment that I mentioned "Nigerian man"? The OP was talking about Africans in general and not Nigerian men in specific.

If a grown adult does not know how to test sincerity of a relationship without resort to database, I am sorry I can't be of help. You may probably re-read my post to have a better grasp of what I was trying to say.

Thanks

bellong:

I am very sorry that I may not be able to help you to comprehend what I wrote. Is there anywhere in my comment that I mentioned "Nigerian man"? The OP was talking about Africans in general and not Nigerian men in specific.

If a grown adult does not know how to test sincerity of a relationship without resort to database, I am sorry I can't be of help. You may probably re-read my post to have a better grasp of what I was trying to say.

Thanks

The Op mentioned Nigerian man in her clip unless you did not view it. I think you are the only lucky human being who can test sincerety, I guess your heart has never been broken and will never be broken becouse you chose to love someone. Lucky you, hence I am saying give more advice on how to avoid such. I am just saying blame portioning is out of place. I am sorry too if you do not get my issues with your blame statement.

Know you who love and Love who you Know

sweetcheecks:
The Op mentioned Nigerian man in her clip unless you did not view it. I think you are the only lucky human being who can test sincerety, I guess your heart has never been broken and will never be broken becouse you chose to love someone. Lucky you, hence I am saying give more advice on how to avoid such. I am just saying blame portioning is out of place. I am sorry too if you do not get my issues with your blame statement.

Thanks for sharing your story, OP. Many people who go abroad do this, not just Nigerians. People're always looking for greener pastures and unfortunately, they leave their victims hurt and broken. Here's a video the gov't over here put out to warn people:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoyzsFaHk5g

They messed the country up and people are running away.

God knows how many many years of people's life they spend on pursueing another country's paper.

One nigeria is the problem.

I appreciate all of the comments...even the one's "not so nice."

As an African American women with so many African American men incarcerated, living below poverty lines, or barely able to care for their families-I was in love with my ex within 2 day's. I did not know he had been divorced from his wife in New York for less than 60 day's when we met. My ex is a physician, good looking, charming, affectionate and made me feel like a princess. With 0 children and God fearing-WHAT WAS NOT TO LOVE?Yes ladies the merchandise down low was good too.

On DAy 2 of marriage, this man looked me in the eye and said, "I don't like to kiss." I SHOULD HAVE RAN ON THAT DAY. We had been kissing before marriage; oral before marriage; now that we are married, you don't like to WHAT The pain of this day was the beginning of 12 years.

juman: They messed the country up and people are running away from the senseless country.

God knows how many many years of people's life they spend on pursueing another country's paper.

One nigeria is the problem.

I can HONESTLY SAY, There is so much truth in your statement. I won't even date a guy from African. When I meet them, I have to apologize with humility and say, "I can't date Nigerians anymore." Some I will feel compassionate for when they look at me strange-explain my past situation. Unfortunately for others I simply say "no thank you."

Kanwulia: The game is real!!!

By now, you AA peeps should have been wiser. Are you saying you did not gain anything from the 'manipulative man'?

Dear Tina, please stop hurting. If you think you had it bad, you need to visit Nigeria and see what NIGERIAN WOMEN go through with NIGERIAN MEN! At least you still have YOUR MOUTH TO TALK about your experiences!

You have to move on dear!

You do NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH A NIGERIAN MAN! They are NOT capable of loving even themselves. They can't help it.

NIGERIAN women go through the same manipulation from the sociopaths!

I am a NIGERIAN WOMAN! I would NEVER dream of dating an AA man. Not even an OBAMA!!!

Bottom line? Stick to your own AA man!!!

NO MATTER HOW DYSFUNCTIONAL AND 'MENTALLY-INCARCERATED AND CASTRATED' my NIGERIAN HUSBAND IS. . .I will prefer him ANY DAY, ANY TIME!!! I sabi deal with them WELLU-WELLU!

Thank you in kind. Now I do stick to my own. You are correct, I should have been wiser. I was STUPID, STUPID IN LOVE AND FOOLISH!!!!

bellong:

I am very sorry that I may not be able to help you to comprehend what I wrote. Is there anywhere in my comment that I mentioned "Nigerian man"? The OP was talking about Africans in general and not Nigerian men in specific.

If a grown adult does not know how to test sincerity of a relationship without resort to database, I am sorry I can't be of help. You may probably re-read my post to have a better grasp of what I was trying to say.

Thanks

My ex is from Kenya. After 12 years I met many, many, many, many friends and colleagues from Nigeria. I am telling my story, but The Green Card Game is Real. African American women are NOT ready for the raft that a Nigerian or Kenya man can bring to their life in the name of The Green Card Game. We are NO match and the minute I ever allow myself to believe I can judge sincerity from another dominant culture, then I am foolish all over again. What ADULT WOMAN does NOT grow up thinking about marrying a man who will provide, nourish, and cherish her? Are you serious REALLY REALLY? TEST SINCERITY----WOW!

bellong: For most relationships, individuals tend to have reasons and motives for going into it. Some because the guy is rich, the lady will give free s-ex and many more sincere and insincere reasons. The onus lies on each partner to ascertain the sincerity and intention of each other in the relationship.

My blame will mostly be on the ladies that are swindled into marriage for selfish gain of the men involved because most, if not all, of those women do not apply their head and brain in verifying the sincerity of the men. They are always betrayed by their emotions and sweet talk, probably because they have not heard such sweet words from men in a long time. No matter how good a guy can lie, he will always leave a loophole showing his real motive for the relationship and only the lady whose emotion has not taking over her reasoning can detect this.

Advise your fellow African-American women to do their due diligence in verifying the identity and sincerity of a guy before throwing away all forms of sensible caution.

I have to ask in kind? "How can you blame someone for being swindled for anything, much less marriage? Marriage is sacred. But yes, HATS OFF TO YOU FOR RECOGNIZING THAT THE KEY IS TO ADVISE MY FELLOW AFRICAN AMERICAN SISTERS.

juman: They messed the country up and people are running away from the senseless country.

God knows how many many years of people's life they spend on pursueing another country's paper.

One nigeria is the problem.

AGREED

funnyx:

He he he lwtmb bobo cougar yi tun ti de o, make you no kill persin with laff. As my Yoruba people will say 'aaya gbon Ogungbe naa gbon, aaya n tiro Ogungbe n bere'

Yield: Thanks for sharing your story, OP. Many people who go abroad do this, not just Nigerians. People're always looking for greener pastures and unfortunately, they leave their victims hurt and broken. Here's a video the gov't over here put out to warn people:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoyzsFaHk5g

HATS OFF TO CANADA....I HAVE NEVER, NEVER, NEVER SEEN A VIDEO LIKE THIS IN THE UNITED STATES....WE ARE BEHIND THE CURVE. WE KNOW IT EXISTS, BUT THERE IS NO NATIONAL ATTENTION LIKE THEIR IS IN CANADA....WOW! WOW! WOW! I am going to post this video next to mine.
If the United States had a NEW Rule like CANADA fewer Americans would be manipulated and scammed.

MyTeenCity:

I can HONESTLY SAY, There is so much truth in your statement. I won't even date a guy from African. When I meet them, I have to apologize with humility and say, "I can't date Nigerians anymore." Some I will feel compassionate for when they look at me strange-explain my past situation. Unfortunately for others I simply say "no thank you."

Sorry, but i thought your ex was kenyan?......

As much as I want to agree with ur assertions, all your grievances could have come if you were married to an African American brother. The problem I have with u is d generalization. All Africans are not in their marriages to African American women for green cards. I reside in Chicago and there are marriages of 20, 30 or even 40years between Africans and Americans. By d way I am a Nigerian American and I grew up in chi town. Dont tell me if u marry an American and things dont work out, you will attribute that to green card.

MyTeenCity: I appreciate all of the comments...even the one's "not so nice."

As an African American women with so many African American men incarcerated, living below poverty lines, or barely able to care for their families-I was in love with my ex within 2 day's. I did not know he had been divorced from his wife in New York for less than 60 day's when we met. My ex is a physician, good looking, charming, affectionate and made me feel like a princess. With 0 children and God fearing-WHAT WAS NOT TO LOVE?? ?? Yes ladies the merchandise down low was good too.

On DAy 2 of marriage, this man looked me in the eye and said, "I don't like to kiss." I SHOULD HAVE RAN ON THAT DAY. We had been kissing before marriage; oral before marriage; now that we are married, you don't like to WHAT The pain of this day was the beginning of 12 years.

Nne! YOU are a very beautiful lady. You can't force love from a loveless human being. . . this your 'pain' nor get 'end'?
E don do na.
WOMAN SHALL NOT LIVE BY MAN ALONE. . .
Abeg, there are many other men out there. . . DON'T LET YOUR HURT ROB YOU OF THE JOYS OF LIVING.

A NIGERIAN PHYSICIAN is the DRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEST kind of spouse to have! Even with all the money. . .social skills ZULCH!
The same thing you go through with your AA MEN. . . we go through with our 'A MEN'(one is physically-incarcerated, while the other is MENTALLY-INCARCERATED). . . So, please recognize that A BLACK MAN IS A BLACK MAN. . . running from POINT 'AFRICAN AMERICAN' TO POINT 'AFRICA' only makes you arrive at the same POINT!

All you can do is MANAGE THE CURSE!

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE ON!!!!

MyTeenCity: "most of us are not that are not diabolical, we are not that deceitful, we are not so manipulative that we would destory other peoples lives for the benefit of our own"

By "us" you mean AAs right? You are full of it for sure.

pickabeau1:

Sorry, but i thought your ex was kenyan?......

I'm equally confused.