sorry OP. how are u sure he married u just for papers? 12yrs is even too long. it takes 3 yrs for us citizenship. ur marriage didn't work maybe that's why he left u

baby_123:
You truly believe a person so unforgiving with such a rant would have truly settled for that if she had a choice? This is someone that was married for 12yrs. He probably had her sign as prenup or had something against her to use just in case she want to fight. Also she is claiming to build something with him. When she was still in uni when she married this rich physician. OP I recommend a counselor for you. Because you sound so irrational, unstable and on the edge. Maybe the guy was fleeing for his life. 3yrs and you are still so hateful. I think it is the money bothering you. I think you signed a prenup. As a physician as long as he has passed his exams he will get sponsored. He didn't need to marry you, and he didn't use you if he was with you for 12yrs. You seem hell bent on only believing the thoughts in your head and what you have convinced yourself of. Nigerians are known for what? I am sure what my great grand fathers have accomplished in this Nigeria, all your family line put together cannot hold a cup to it. With your $400 a month allowance. Go and get a job and stop being bitter. If you owned anything and built anything you wouldn't be dying of frustration. I actually pity the guy that endured for 12yrs with you. What a nightmare

, on point! She needs to wake up and see a shrink

Dear OP/Tina, I had to watch the video again, Na wa o ! Does it come as a surprise that you never mentioned what you do for a living? we know your type, child support and alimony crooners! A story like hers can only hoodwink few that have not visited or lived in US before. For any successful African immigrant in the US, the AA woman would be last choice even if all the other races were dead! They are devoid of character and their reputation is next to zero! I walk on the street of US daily and i see the mess these set of people live as life! Yes they got the independence on paper but that slave mentality never left majority of them! A slave master can free the body of the slave but cannot free his mentality. I have never seen a culture without an iota of moral values as these lots, their men make going to prison looks like paid holidays and their teens are the worst in my experience of interacting with hooligans! They live like lords and they have this vain belief that the land and government owe them a source of livelihood without lifting a finger, we are heavily taxed so that grubs like them could get free unemployment handouts to feed their b@stards and have left overs to get drunk and smoke weeds! Our elders have an adage - " It is the rain that caused the eagle and the pigeon to seek shelter under the same roof", I do not blame you i blame our greedy African leaders!

Damn.. You put it out there...

armyofone: OP dear,

with all you mentioned yet $400 per month?

Yes, $400 per month for 6 month's was enough. I married for Love. I divorced because I finally realized why he treated me so bad-he was not in love with Tina. My worth has never been tied to him and never will. People do marry for love and when the love is gone then in my mind everything else too should go bye-bye

pickabeau1: Damn.. You put it out there...

I am sharing as openly as I can

eeewise: exactly my point!!! Ts myopic for pple to think the whole world is hinged upon their own experience..whereas its jst their experience which is an experience not d norm.ask her how many nigerian men does she know?how many states in d us out of 50 has she visited?how many africa communities around d us hav she visited?

This is MY STORY!

Goldenboy007: Dear OP/Tina, I had to watch the video again, Na wa o ! Does it come as a surprise that you never mentioned what you do for a living? we know your type, child support and alimony crooners! A story like hers can only hoodwink few that have not visited or lived in US before. For any successful African immigrant in the US, the AA woman would be last choice even if all the other races were dead! They are devoid of character and their reputation is next to zero! I walk on the street of US daily and i see the mess these set of people live as life! Yes they got the independence on paper but that slave mentality never left majority of them! A slave master can free the body of the slave but cannot free his mentality. I have never seen a culture without an iota of moral values as these lots, their men make going to prison looks like paid holidays and their teens are the worst in my experience of interacting with hooligans! They live like lords and they have this vain belief that the land and government owe them a source of livelihood without lifting a finger, we are heavily taxed so that grubs like them could get free unemployment handouts to feed their b@stards and have left overs to get drunk and smoke weeds! Our elders have an adage - " It is the rain that caused the eagle and the pigeon to seek shelter under the same roof", I do not blame you i blame our greedy African leaders!

How can I get child support without any CHILDREN Genius? If you live in the U.S. as a Nigerian then you know why there is such a problem. I wish I had been his last choice-So Truly, it would have saved me 12 years. Tell all of your Brother's not to marry African American women-I am telling my sister's. I have learned enough from this forum. I am signing off-unfollowing for good. thanks for all the comments. It has been interesting. God help us ALL. I have a Master's in Psychology. I practice in mental health and work in mass media.

MyTeenCity:

How can I get child support without any CHILDREN Genius? If you live in the U.S. as a Nigerian then you know why there is such a problem. I wish I had been his last choice-So Truly, it would have saved me 12 years. Tell all of your Brother's not to marry African American women-I am telling my sister's. I have learned enough from this forum. I am signing off-unfollowing for good. thanks for all the comments.

It has been interesting. God help us ALL. I have a Master's in Psychology. I practice in mental health and work in mass media.

Go see a shrink my dear, I guess your colleague will get the job done. You don't need to pay for one.

Chillisauce:

, on point! She needs to wake up and see a shrink

The Shrink sent me to this Forum...Lol

Chillisauce:

, on point! She needs to wake up and see a shrink

Baby_123 Wow! You tell me a lot without sharing anything. Please do not begin to know "Me" As I surely would not know anyone of your personality type. Sorry you do not believe in love. Perhaps you are miserable. I married for love. Prenup?Laughable? Why do you suppose I don't work? Never mind. I won't be back to hear your response. Still, it tells me A LOT ABOUT YOU! The comments on this forum has really helped me more than you realize. It is good to see how his people think beyond the United States. For those who know him personally they stand by my side. For those who are still trying to get to the U.S. I just say, "don't marry for a Green Card-It is hurtful." Physicians from Nigeria or any other country don't get the sponsorship that you may think-do your research in 2013.

Mamacita007: sorry OP. how are u sure he married u just for papers? 12yrs is even too long. it takes 3 yrs for us citizenship. ur marriage didn't work maybe that's why he left u

You know, for so long I did not want to believe it. What woman wants to believe her husband married her for 12 years? It took him 10 years to get to citizenship. It takes longer when a person comes over here on an Asylum claim, then adjusts the claim-especiialy if they had a previous marriage. I filed for divorce 03 Nov 2007. It was not finalized until 2011. He said he did not. He said he loved me. Love may have come later, but he took me through hell to get a divorce. Considering I was not taking anything from him, it was difficult to understand. Later I learned he is a man who believes in the Institution of Marriage whether that means love or not is a different story. Thanks for asking. I appreciate your sentiment. I won't be back to this forum. Some of your peeps are not communicating with substance, they are merely bashing. That is okay, but I have had enough. There are hundreds of more discussion boards full of substance and sincere questions.

So teencity, u came to a nigerian blog to get a general view on how african,s reason and behave eeh kwa?
Werin my eyes no go c?
Now u hv it, wil it heal u?
Why d bitterness?
Why d transfered aggression?
What did we on dis forum do to u?
U married and divorced a kenyan for how many yrs now and still yet, u can't let go and rebuild ur battered life and ego?
So tey u were addressing those whose comments don't hv a bearing to ur own.

When u threw ur attack and I trust my bros and sis them, they gave it back to u raw and undiluted, u then decided to mellow and start looking for intelligent discussion, where does that happen?
U don't know anything about Nigerians and with this ur mntality, I bet u will ever know.
Pls, grow up. What u just showed here is one very bitter and angry woman.
Ur problem is u. Loosen up.

MyTeenCity:

Baby_123 Wow! You tell me a lot without sharing anything. Please do not begin to know "Me" As I surely would not know anyone of your personality type. Sorry you do not believe in love. Perhaps you are miserable. I married for love. Prenup?Laughable? Why do you suppose I don't work? Never mind. I won't be back to hear your response. Still, it tells me A LOT ABOUT YOU! The comments on this forum has really helped me more than you realize. It is good to see how his people think beyond the United States. For those who know him personally they stand by my side. For those who are still trying to get to the U.S. I just say, "don't marry for a Green Card-It is hurtful." Physicians from Nigeria or any other country don't get the sponsorship that you may think-do your research in 2013.

his people? when did Nigerians and Kenyans become the same thing. Ignorance and self-hate...deadly combo

MyTeenCity:

How can I get child support without any CHILDREN Genius? If you live in the U.S. as a Nigerian then you know why there is such a problem. I wish I had been his last choice-So Truly, it would have saved me 12 years. Tell all of your Brother's not to marry African American women-I am telling my sister's. I have learned enough from this forum. I am signing off-unfollowing for good. thanks for all the comments. It has been interesting. God help us ALL. I have a Master's in Psychology. I practice in mental health and work in mass media.

It is in our best interest you sign off for good because you only brought bitterness, revenge and calumny to this board. If you want an intelligent discussion like you claimed, you would have presented an intelligent lay-out of what you wanted. Rather, you started a diatribe and collective character defamation of all Nigerian men for what has no bearing with your ex-husband who is a Kenyan from East-Africa.

Whatever you got here, you started it. No man reaped what he didn't sow. Good that you have a Master's in Psychology, that should have helped you not to start a verbal attack against people you have no idea of their culture, morals and background.

If you have a change of heart to have an intelligent discussion devoid of your diatribe, you will get one here in abundance. For now, nobody will miss you.

bellong:

IF you read her subsequent stories, the Kenyan Physician told her from onset he was marrying her for his own convenience. How is that manipulation? She knew what she was getting into yet she pushed on and came on here to spit venom.

I wouldn't know how long it takes for a green card to be issued but I know it doesn't take as long as 12yrs. If the physician was in it for green card, I want to believe the guy later changed his mind to be with her for 12yrs. You have not explained what led to the break up of the marriage so we can be sure the guy married you for a green card.

With the thrash you have written here, I wouldn't be surprised if the guy left you for a more intelligent fellow. Making up your mind not to have anything to do with an African is strictly and entirely your choice but going down the lane of categorizing all Africans as fraudulent is beyond your entitlement and we have the right to defend ourselves against your myopic view.

If you don't consider an African, there are millions of AA women looking for Africans to marry. Your choice does not stop the world from revolving.

When next you want to open a thread here, please make it an intelligent discussion devoid of myopic view and bitterness against race, culture and gender.

There are hundreds not millions of Black American women married to or dating African men.

In comparison, there are more non-Black women dating and married to African men.

It's not easy for BA women to marry outside of her zone and she would most likely to marry a White man outside a BA or Carrib man.

ileobatojo:

Bwahahaha!



This!!

I too thought she was here to have an intelligent discussion till she started spouting meaningless, emotional bs.

And you took it personal? There are a lot of ill comments said about her people on this site before this thread and I don't see you scolding those chatters.

If we are going to correct ignorance, we need to make sure we aren't ignorant ourselves.

Fact.

Goldenboy007:


Poster/Tina,

It's quite unfortunate that your marriage broke up, did you say 12 good years? but do you wanna act as if your divorce is peculiar to you alone? I would say by Black American standard that's a long marriage! 75% to 85% of black American families are broken families regardless of whom they were married to (I'm in the US i know). I read someone correcting you that a certified Physician do not need a spouse sponsored green card and it's not far from the truth, I have a Nigerian doctor friend trained in John Hopkins and he is a Green card holder by virtue of profession/job without marrying a citizen or green card holder. I do not dispute that there are cases of Green card fraud marriages but yours wasn't one. Does it take him 12 years to get a Green Card from you? in fact it takes approx 9 - 12 months if he married a citizen. Spreading a tale of calumny against Africans is like a mission based on personal vendetta for love gone sour between two people, also aren't you as African as they come? The sincere truth is that yes you were foolish but you weren't deceived at all, marrying a Physician is a dream come true knowing what your black American society looks like! you gambled on what you saw and liked and you lost! It is easier to bear when racial segregation comes from the Caucasians but it's shame when it comes from a Black African sister !!! If i should write all that is in my mind you won't like me!

The family can't be broken if it was never a family. Majority of Black women are head of household because the court awards sole custody to the mother based on facts provided. If the fathers aren't contesting then it makes the ruling fast and easy.

Men generally do not choose to be single parents and that is fact. I have seen married men act like they are single while their wives take care of the kids. Pathetic.

Yes, some Black women chooses to be single mothers and keep fathers out of the picture. Not everyone is into abortion. I know single African girls are encouraged to have abortions to preserve family image and hopefully obtain marriage.

Many African men are dating and married to African girls that had several abortions and many are barren as a result.

Grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Marriage isn't for everyone and unlike in America women do not need marriage to survive. Just because two parents aren't married doesn't mean the house is broken.

Marriage doesn't mean success and you know in Nigeria...there are many unhappy marriages and spouses living like room mates....which is worse?

MyTeenCity: Ladies, I came across this forum from Google Search Engine. However, the discussion began in 2006 and seemed to extend to 2011. Now it is 2013 and African American women have the need to dialogue about men from Africa coming to America marrying an African American woman for the purpose of obtaining a green card, while most hold White woman to a higher level of praise. I am glad to see this forum. I have began blogging about this issue. Romance was limited. I believe my ex married me for the purpose of obtaining a Green Card. I was so in love with him. I am not sure if my video will be uploaded, but I want to know if African women from Africa agree with me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUFMyq1fYHg

Hello MTC,

I do not know if you left NL for good or not but I wished I have caught you before the thread went to page 1.

Anyway....please do not take NL seriously and many of these chatters aren't representation of Nigeria or Africa as a whole. Trust me.

You did have some valuable responses that you can learn from and not all chatters are children on NL. You can't expecr teenagers to understand Adult life so the comments are true to their identity.

You have shared your story and aired out your grievance. It's easy for me to say move on and get over it.

Thank you for being honest when you said that you saw the signs and ignored it. As the result, you have suffered some unpleasant bullshit however you have stayed with him 12 years knowing what he was about or however long before filing for divorce.

It takes about 5 years for a person to reside in America without conditions and even if he stayed after getting his papers does not change his motives.

However, there are much worse scams that have been told and to be honest you got off easy in comparison. You may not think so and that's okay.

If you choose not to date African men....ok. it's your choice. A chatter on this thread said she will never date a BA man and to you both....African/BA men can live with that.

Despite a number of black men being in prison has nothing to do with the number of black men who are not in prison and are successful in every areas. It's up to the women to engage in circles of productive black men.

A black man is a black man regardless of his origin of birth. You have to screen the men better before saying I do no matter how in love you are....you aren't invincible.

Good luck and listen to the warning signs!

Mrs.Chima:


And you took it personal? There are a lot of ill comments said about her people on this site before this thread and I don't see you scolding those chatters.

If we are going to correct ignorance, we need to make sure we aren't ignorant ourselves.

Fact.

On this family section? There are lots of ill comments against her people? Please show me a thread I was on where I encouraged ill comments against her people for no reason. Otherwise, spare me the misdirected righteousness.

I would say the bolded applies very aptly to you right now. Take your own advice. If you don't get my point, ask for clarifications instead of directing some pent up anger at the wrong party. Thank you.

ileobatojo:



On this family section? There are lots of ill comments against her people? Please show me a thread I was on where I encouraged ill comments against her people for no reason. Otherwise, spare me the misdirected righteousness.

I would say the bolded applies very aptly to you right now. Take your own advice. If you don't get my point, ask for clarifications instead of directing some pent up anger at the wrong party. Thank you.

Amnesia much?

I see you are still butthurt and adding shit to what I said won't ease the pain.

Hit dog hollers everytime.

Ignorance is a mofo.

Mrs.Chima:


Amnesia much?

I see you are still butthurt and adding shit to what I said won't ease the pain.

Hit dog hollers everytime.

Butthurt? You may remember me, but I sure as hell don't remember ever having any conversation with you before today, so if anyone is butthurt, it's definitely not me. Since you have no plans to intelligently defend your ramblings or look at this thread objectively, but are instead on a revenge mission for some unknown past grievance, I will leave you to your butthurt.

Have a good day.

Rotfl. This place is crawling with haters! Known and unknown! Lawd have mercy!

Una don use bad mouth finished this bitter AA Lady
Remember God is watching Una ooooo .......

Mrs.Chima:

Just because two parents aren't married doesn't mean the house is broken.

Lol. Keep making excuses for dysfunction

I am so glad I found this discussion. Yes, the green card game is alive and well. I am a survivor of a sociopath who tried to use me for a green card.

My ex husband is from Ghana - yes, I know, 2 different countries, however, still West Africa. He failed in his attempt to get to the USA because I refused to help him. I married him telling him that I do not want to primarily live in the USA, he agreed and knew this and despite all the hours of talking about this before the marriage he then switched it up about 6 months in to the marriage saying that it was my responsibility to help him by getting him to the USA. Ladies, it is not your responsibility at all. What were they doing before they met you?

Anywho, I decided to share my experience on my blog, Wanted: Green Card. Many ladies are coming forward - from the USA, UK, China, and even Mexico. We are learning that there is a well established network of men using ladies - even to the point of where as soon as they receive the green card they disappear and cannot be found. They move on to an established network where they assist each other with housing and money to get resettled as they even drag your name through court with lies. The ladies should get just as organized as the men in these cases. After all, it's your home country; home court advantage.

Check out the blog: [url]http://www.wantedgreencard. [/url]

There is nothing to be bitter about ladies, marriage is a business. Why be in it if only 1 person is making a profit.

MyTeenCity:
Ladies, I came across this forum from Google Search Engine. However, the discussion began in 2006 and seemed to extend to 2011. Now it is 2013 and African American women have the need to dialogue about men from Africa coming to America marrying an African American woman for the purpose of obtaining a green card, while most hold White woman to a higher level of praise. I am glad to see this forum. I have began blogging about this issue. Romance was limited. I believe my ex married me for the purpose of obtaining a Green Card. I was so in love with him. I am not sure if my video will be uploaded, but I want to know if African women from Africa agree with me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUFMyq1fYHg

If an African who loves you for who you are and is ready to stick with you through thick and thin comes around but he is not a professional or a rich dude will you consider marrying him? The problem with the world is greed and "selfishness". You are a selfish fellow. Greedy people always get hurt! You want to eat that bar of snickers with the wrapper yet you want everything to be fine? You have your choice in a man and you didn't consider it selfish right? One of my specs in a woman is for me to be able to get a green card through her...what's the crime? if a lady can choose a husband because he is tall, dark rich and handsome why can't I choose mine with my own yardstick.......So you feel you are the only one with all the right to make choices?................You are greedy, selfish, self-centered and a covet. You will continue to remain hurt because that is what greedy people like you deserve.........


Now there is no more visa lottery...babe no go pour sand for boys garri o. You think say e easy to marry black Americans wey no get good home upbringing? Becos we wan hustle get card you wan block the last resort? See the strong thing wey go do you dey do press up for oshogbo....you better stop the useless campaign and allow boys hustle.....