Hmmmm....dis is so serious. so sorry that you are going through this right now. My advice is that you confront your mother, don't be disrespectful while doing this. You confront her to let her know that you knew all this while.
As for the DNA stuff, pls I beg you, dn't even try it, because if the result shows that your uncle is truly your biological father, this will cause you and your siblings more emotional trauma.
Once you discuss with mumsy, you will feel a heavy burden has been relieved off you.
Good luck.

This is a very serious issue, but before you go off and confront your mother I would like you to consider a few things. What would you gain from telling her? Relief? What if you tell her and she denies it which she would most probably do, and if she confesses what would her apology and tears do for you? If I were in ur shoes I would not say a word, chances are she already feels ashamed of herself and disgusted hence the hatred towards ur uncle, telling her would only make her feel even worse and may cause a big health problem for her which in turn u may even regret becos the depression and high blood pressure may even lead to her death. We all have our lives to live and ur mother choose hers and there is absolutely nothing u can do about it, she did it without you in mind so please don't let her past foolishness ruin ur future. Pray to God always becos He is a great comforter and will heal ur pain, yes I know it's not easy but wat other options do u have. As for the mental images in ur head they won't still go away even if u confront her, it's more of a phsychological issue which u have to find a way to get rid of either by making urself occupied with activities u enjoy doing or praying, with time u will heal. With regards to the DNA I wouldn't even go there. May God give u the strength to carry on and heal ur pain. God bless.

,EWO oo, Your mum had an affair with her brother-in-law and was f***ing him while you slept on the bed at the ripe old age of 6-8 years!!!!!!!! Yet you are afraid to confront her!!!!!!.

See I used to be timid like that, naija where parents rule with an iron fist and are always right. But am a grown independent woman, and for every trifling “older adult” in my life I have respectfully and not so respectfully called them out on their shenanigans. I too just like you,saw these “older adults” commit so many atrocities and live as they please, living me with so much hurt and pain. The only way to free myself was to LET IT OUT. And guess what? It caused some rift in the beginning, but now we all interact as the adults we are, no eye service on my part.

My husband and I will NEVER copulate in the same room with our kids but your “mom and uncle” did, how disrespectful and inappropriate. Yet you want to give them all the highest honors, why?What are you afraid of? Are you truly an independent adult? Why would you mortgage your happiness for trifling adults? No son, MAN UP. Call them out and put them on blast if you wish.

What sane dignified woman f**ks her bil and what sane dignified man f**ks his sil. @ileobatojo has given you great advice. You are damaged and don’t even know it!!!!!. And the adults responsible for this are walking around scot free. Mba nu.
I am not trying to be harsh bros, but I ve been there (not the same circumstances) and you are in a place of deep hurt and you need to get out of there and if you have to burst the doors wide open, then so be it.

Nairaland and their yeye censor. I wrote C..o..pul...ate and it changed to reproduce. Reproduce kwa!!!

@havilla,
mumc cannot even dare deny it. remember i saidmy elder sister is also a witness so how does she wanna deny that. if she develops high bp,na so God want am. she dint think of all that before jumping into bed not with a stranger but her hubby's bro. as for the bad relationship btw them now,na 2 of them know wetin cause am n i really dont care.what would bring a closure to all this for me would be to find out WHY she did.my pops was an angel so it beats me as to why she was stabbing him.

@thatchic
mehn,i wouldnt want to offend u at all cos ur so damn real. u say it as it is. no time for asss-licking. i just need to man up. its gotten to a point where the thougt of the whole ish occupies my mind, its difficult to focus. funny,mumc called me ystday. i looked at the phone n just smiled whilst responding "yes ma, yes ma" to her enquiries.

No be small mata...

Richfella: No be small mata...

@ all

.

bennysucre:
am no longer under her roof anymore. i know im an adult now buh it hurts each time i think about it. at the wedding ceremony of my elder, this same uncle acted as the father as our dad is no more. felt soooo outraged.

"acted as the father"....hmmmmmmmm i wonder, i just wonder (Olu Jacobs)...This might sound somehow, how are you sure he isn't the father even for you?

andromida:

Some things you can't let go off,somethings you can't move on from until you address it. Go home and tell your mother you knew,tell her how you feel,forgive her and your uncle.

I second this motion

There's d possibility that ur mum might be feeling guilty about the whole issue right now and still carrying the burden on her too, S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ telling her about it will be relieving urself of that trauma n maybe relieving her of d guilt too. Tell her abt it, Ȋ̝̊̅ believe she's going τ̅☺ accept her wrong and ask for your forgiveness. It's well

cherieb2: There's d possibility that ur mum might be feeling guilty about the whole issue right now and still carrying the burden on her too, S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ telling her about it will be relieving urself of that trauma n maybe relieving her of d guilt too. Tell her abt it, Ȋ̝̊̅ believe she's going τ̅☺ accept her wrong and ask for your forgiveness. It's well

No iota of guilt, I'm sure about that. They just barely manage to speak to each other in public, I wonder how their affair ended. One day soon, I'll summon courage, prolly after my kids are here. May God spare our lives past then.

bennysucre:

No iota of guilt, I'm sure about that. They just barely manage to speak to each other in public, I wonder how their affair ended. One day soon, I'll summon courage, prolly after my kids are here. May God spare our lives past then.

has it ever crossed your mind that such a mother may attack you in any and every way possible ?

Stop whipping up ridiculous sentiments, you are a man for a reason.

You just have to man up and delete the memory from your life. I feel sorry for you cos you are the one carrying the guilt and the burden of someones seeming misdeamenor.

Finally, it is not within your exclusive preserve to adjudicate the case of marital fidelity/infidelity of your parents, marriage sometimes is a complex web of intricate complications .

The best advice now is for you to face your life and make something out of it for yourself. When you do that you earn her respect and attention and then you can do what you like.

All this scheming will only land you in a more unfortunate situation. As a man think with your head and bot your heart/emotions.

The world is what it is, a place of wickedness so learn to live with it and stop expecting too much from mere heathens including your own mother.

Goodluck!

Guitarlife: has it ever crossed your mind that such a mother may attack you in any and every way possible ?

Stop whipping up ridiculous sentiments, you are a man for a reason.

You just have to man up and delete the memory from your life. I feel sorry for you cos you are the one carrying the guilt and the burden of someones seeming misdeamenor.

Finally, it is not within your exclusive preserve to adjudicate the case of marital fidelity/infidelity of your parents, marriage sometimes is a complex web of intricate complications .

The best advice now is for you to face your life and make something out of it for yourself. When you do that you earn her respect and attention and then you can do what you like.

All this scheming will only land you in a more unfortunate situation. As a man think with your head and bot your heart/emotions.

The world is what it is, a place of wickedness so learn to live with it and stop expecting too much from mere heathens including your own mother.

Goodluck!

I know its not within my exclusive preserve to judge but they both should have thought about me before inflicting me with such kind of unforgettable memory. The least they could have done was to send me out or something.

My brother,walking around with the memory aint easy esp when mumsy tries forming holy. Its hard not to judge. Of all people, her BIL!!

Sad story! Try talking it over with your mum nicely. Bitterness and an unforgiving heart brews trouble and sorrow. AVOID IT! You are sounding so traumatised already. Unburden your heart but show understanding whichever way you can and remind her that you never told your dad but just want to clear your mind and move on. No point involving your uncle if you want peace.

Alternatively, if you are spiritually strong, talk to God, forgive and move on so you can key into your blessings with a clean and open heart. You need peace in your heart to make meaningful progress.

bennysucre:

I know its not within my exclusive preserve to judge but they both should have thought about me before inflicting me with such kind of unforgettable memory. The least they could have done was to send me out or something.

My brother,walking around with the memory aint easy esp when mumsy tries forming holy. Its hard not to judge. Of all people, her BIL!!

That's exactly what am saying. You need to toughen up and shaake out that guilt .

You need to concentrate on your own life and be engrossed with trying to force a breakthrough.

Their behaviour is definitely unbecoming and I agree you may be traumatised but you have to stop dwelling to much on that experience.

Some people were r**aped by their own fathers. How do you describe that ? I have told you , the world is a wicked place.

Learn to live with it and stop trying to hard to exact revenge, something you probably will soon find out may not be the solution to your psychological situation.

Dude I don't envy you right now. Only thing I can say is you should face your demons..metaphorically....again that will depend on how mature you are. If you are going to confront your mom you have to make up your mind to listen to what she has to say without throwing harsh words back. You want to understand and so you should limit yourself to understanding only. No need to pass any judgements.
You could tell her a story of a little boy who found himself in the right place at the wrong time and how traumatised that incident has left that boy. After that let her talk..you just listen. I'm quite sure your mom will have answers dat will be beneficial to your family.

@OP, hard as it may seem - now you've started the process by speaking out, I think you should just get it over and done with, once and for all - then move on with your life.

Seize the opportunity while you can. Your mother and uncle are both alive. Ask them all the questions that have been plaguing your mind for nearly twenty years. Seek the explanation you request. After which your mind will be at rest.

Just be aware that as you speak to your mum about her past indiscretions, she may (as part of unburdening her heart), reveal to you that your uncle is indeed your father and probably the dad of one or more of your siblings.

Trust me, you'll get peace of mind once it's all out. Just remember that whatever the truth might be, none of what's happened is your fault.

Best of luck and keep strong.

It is highly possible that both of them (your mum and your uncle) are the ones that kill your DAD. So if you dont want to join your dad leave them and move on

lafex: It is highly possible that both of them (your mum and your uncle) are the ones that kill your DAD. So if you dont want to join your dad leave them and move on

There's no chance in hell that they killed ny father. He died of 'old age.' He was almost 80 years old before he died. As for them killing me, Its highly impossible.

People telling me to bone and move on just have no idea (I pray u never will) of how this shiit feels. Whenever I'm with mumsy, I might forget but once I see my uncle, my mind automatically flashes back to that day. At least popc never got to know n he's gone now,but me I must know why. Popc was the eldest and uncle was the 4th n last sibling so imagine the gap.

I need advice on how best to confront her cos like I earlier said, we don't relate with our parents as in, we don't play. Its only 'yes ma, yes sir'. So how do I man up when liver fit fail me?

Sometimes she calls to tell me sometin bad hapund to her n I'll be like 'sorry o' but I'll me madly happy in my heart like 'serves you right'. I'm tired of living this way honestly!!!

Even if it turns out that uncle is our dad, no wahala. We'll move on from there.

bennysucre: People telling me to bone and move on just have no idea (I pray u never will) of how this shiit feels. Whenever I'm with mumsy, I might forget but once I see my uncle, my mind automatically flashes back to that day. At least popc never got to know n he's gone now,but me I must know why. Popc was the eldest and uncle was the 4th n last sibling so imagine the gap.

I need advice on how best to confront her cos like I earlier said, we don't relate with our parents as in, we don't play. Its only 'yes ma, yes sir'. So how do I man up when liver fit fail me?

Sometimes she calls to tell me sometin bad hapund to her n I'll be like 'sorry o' but I'll me madly happy in my heart like 'serves you right'. I'm tired of living this way honestly!!!

Then quit the drama and just tell her!

For goodness sake, what's the worse that she can do to you? eh?

Don't even do it over the phone. Do it face-to-face. Like I said, get it over and done with. You know yourself that you'll never forget and this isn't something you can brush aside - so why torture yourself?

It will get easier once you've had that 'talk' with her.

bennysucre: Even if it turns out that uncle is our dad, no wahala. We'll move on from there.

Good - that's the spirit. Now go face your demons and don't let them torture you any second longer.

Thanks for the 'gingering'

Are you afraid that she will spank/beat you?... You are old enough to hold her hands if she wants to strile you... Even if she strikes you, then what?.... Will you die?... Just get this off your chest.. Talk to her alone or with your sis... Never confront your uncle (If you wished to do so ) when your mom is around...

Tnx for ur concern, I appreciate it. God go helep me do the needful