lorretta u: ok
In that case.you have to make her understand that maybe ur absence isn't what should be of great concern to her.

On the other hand,the other details,u knw what to do to fix them.and take the authoritarian note out of your voice.your wife is your partner and companion.not an errant child beneath you.treat her the exact same way you want her to treat you.

That being said,I don't support her being preoccupied with her phone and not giving u ur needed attention.that's rude

have a nice day.wish ur marriage the best.

@ lorretta, she already knew the nature of my job year ago before i proposed marriage, and this password thing have never been noticed, her fone have always been accessible its even mine dat has a lock though she was given the codes since de reason for de lock wasn't because of her but for security reason base on my position at work managing some confidential document and all that.

[quote author=dr_mike_adams]could be cheating or playing..but you dont leave a woman alone 4 2weeks or so...she could be lonely,,u know what they say about idle mind...i can get u proofs if ur interested,,[/qu

@mike-adams, she knew about dat long before we got married and i also spend two uninterrupted weeks with her every month.so i didnt totally left her lonely for two weeks intentionally, that is how and where i brings money that pays de bills.

thehunted:

sweetheart,u just wanna be like me.Copy and paste. coloured fonts. Seem u have issues with me or what i wrote. i settle my issues in d bedroom.....expecting u there...

Lolzzzz! I swear your sense of humor is something else! Keep it up.

Now this is the way to go. If ur wife isn't happy with you,instead of chasing her away,make her laff and she'll meet you in the bedroom!

@op
Am not a married man yet, but I sure hope to excel at it pretty soon.One of the things have observed is that absolutely no one can change overnight. Implying that you must av seen signs of this kind of behaviour before now and u allowed it or that the entire marriage was a marriage of convenience. As a man,you are the head of the home,some things shouldn't be accepted at all.Where did u meet this ur wife, how was she behaving before? U can't turn a wild dog to a pet by just putting a ring on it. In my mind, your short marriage is already doomed if u don't act...common! Its too early for that kinda crap.
You better take a casual leave and discuss with her or ANNUL dt farce u call a marriage. And pls,don't bring any kids into the equation just yet!

You're both acting like kids. Kids that haven't realized that there is more to marriage than "carrying face". No offence intended. I am not calling you guys children, I am saying you're acting like that. You are no longer boyfriend and girlfriend dude. You guys are flamming married for crying out loud. That makes you adults. Act it.

I can give you a hundred and forty six reasons why your wife will be chatting on her phone and "giving you less attention" and your next reaction is to angryly demand to see her phone. Why wouldn't she "angrily refuse". You are gone for 2 weeks in a month and your priority is to go play football when you get back then hang out with friends because she ignored you.

Enough of my ranting.

You are the one who's showing concern now so it is up to you to fix it. There is no proof or guarantee that she's cheating on you. So for the sake of your internal organs, do not bother yourself with thoughts of that. Change your attitude and treat her different. Toast her again. Kinda like how you hooked her in the first place. You are gone for 2 weeks in a month and I am sure she will get lonely so give her all the attention she craves. If you have to go play football, there are activities that can include her too. So take her along. Act better and don't get petulant whenever she doesn't treat you like God. You'll be surprised what being a good sorry great husband can make a wife become.

Goodluck dude.

Am not saying that there is a perfect marriage out there. but from your account, one can say that ur union is lacking the basis successful marriage. Love, respect and understanding. If she truly loves u she'll acknowledge ur presence and respect you by closing whatever she chatting. By being understanding, u don't need to leave ur house and sleep out at any little misunderstanding with ur wife. It would be better to calm down and talk with her about her attitude, maybe u could hear her views from their you can know who among u needs adjustment. I also think ur is wife rude and lacks humility, u r also guilty in this regard.

thehunted: @op,
there is something people dont understand. she prefered to go thru all that quarrel than show u who she was chatting with. I can bet u that she is cheating on u. Babes of nowadays cheat a lot and that is the reason guys study them before getting married to them. ever wondered why there are too many single babes? Cos guys arent convinced that these once - upon - a - time -runs babes (most of them ) cant be trusted in marriage. IF SHE CHEATS,SEND HER OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. A CHEATING WOMAN WILL NEVER CHANGE. Imagine amya here(this amya girl wanted to f0rk her aunty`s husband in one old thread so be wary of her advice) said that `Maybe she met someone who gives her satisfaction in some way which you don't meet up`. Why dont she go marry that guy. These babes fork around and still stay married to the rich boys. Most of them do. IF U FIND OUT THAT SHE IS A TYPICAL CHEATING NAIJA BABE,KICK HER ASS OUT AND LET HER JOIN THE SINGLES MARKET. I DONT PITY THESE SINGLE BABES ONE BIT.

I think she might have met another guy who shower her with fake compliments on social network..she may even be seeing the guy when the OP is out for two weeks.

All these comments on respect your wife amazes me!...of course one should respect his wife but this kind of issues should not be tolerated by any man.
showing excessive respect to your wife can push them into this act..and they will always take your respect and humbleness as weakness.hence,behave any how they like.

Another thing is that,if any one is hiding or passwording his/her phone to prevent his/her partner from accessing it,that person might be up to something too bad..in this case,that woman may be chatting with another lover

If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a dock...it's a fvcking duck.

This is a time for some BALLS man. No more pussy-footing.

chibansky:
@ lorretta, she already knew the nature of my job year ago before i proposed marriage, and this password thing have never been noticed, her fone have always been accessible its even mine dat has a lock though she was given the codes since de reason for de lock wasn't because of her but for security reason base on my position at work managing some confidential document and all that.

well you've to understand why it seems like I'm leaning towards her.
Her actions just speaks like someone who's taunting you.
If she's really cheating,she won't chat with the dude in your presence.and smart cheats don't even lock their phones.only leave it open but delete all her chat n text history.even sleeping out when she knows u can find out.and her people will even know she wasn't around,cos she should know you'd ask them.
lol think about it now.so I think she's just trying to get you riled up.

Now the question is why.if you find out why,you've found the solution to your marital issues.
Like I said,best wishes

Seriously OP. Dis is sumao disgustin...I can't take it 4rm any lady at all. Even my gf can't try sh.its wit me not 2 talk of my wife. I'm not sayin u shud beat her o. Bt seriously my pple talk say wetin person no fit take when hyn don rich,na when hyn poor hyn dey go against 'em. Nooooooooooooo. Its sumao.

1. hahahaha...
2. she is not cheating...
3. you did not tell us the whole truth...
4. this sounds like something i would do...
5. this is the plain and gospel truth...
6. thank you...

chibansky:

thanks for the detailed views, but my two weeks out of my home is spent offshore where the only companion u have is fishes and ur colleagues. am not cheating on my wife.

Yikes! Working offshore is really good money however it's hell on relationships. She may not be physically cheating (yet) but someone may be sniffing around her; STEP UP! I know you're tired from your hitch but you need to set time aside for your relationship. Book a romantic getaway, take her out for dinner at a nice restaurant, ask her about how she's been doing while you're away and truly listen to her...if that still doesn't melt her heart...

it is 75 percent obvious she is cheating on you.... Buh I would advice you just calm her down and find out whats wrong with her and her feelings for the relationship...

Good luck brother!!!

[color=#006600][/color]

lorretta u: Oh really?
U demand to see her phone? Even wrestle it from her?
You walk out of your home in Anger and spend the night outside and you're surprised she did same?
You walk her out of your home and expect her to do what? Not go?
u walked her out and she obeyed,HAPPILY!
If she can access your phone,I don't believe she'll password her phone.but no.I'm sure yours is passworded and u want her to leave hers open.

Swear on your life OP.that those your 2 week travels each month doesn't take u into other women's arms.I mean swear and die.
Mtchew.I'm sure this lady is already fed up by you attitude so what she's doing is to tell you she doesn't give a damn anymore
She most likely isn't cheating on you.

Like seriously.I think what she's doing is only a mimicry of what you do.maybe yours is even worse.
And your probably one of those men who think that a man being the leader in the home means he can get away with any attitude and expect total compliance from his wife.
No listen! You're the leader in your home.remember the Golden words


Leaders lead by example!
Don't leave your home in anger.Never spend d night outside cos u r angry.it's bad.
Leave ur phone open if u want hers open.during those your travels,can she reach u freely?

Consider what you're not doing right,correct yourself and your wife will love and respect you.

Ekwuchala m!

eziokwu bu ndu. Lol.]

chibansky: I AM YOUNG AND HAVE A GOOD JOB, JUST FEW MONTHS OLD IN MARRIAGE NO KIDS YET, MY JOB TAKES ME OFF MY HOME FOR TWO WEEKS.
ON THIS FAITHFUL THURSDAY 19TH SEPT 2013, I CAME BACK FROM MY NORMAL FOOTBALL TRAINING AND OBSERVED MY WIFE SERIOUSLY ENGROSSED WITH HER PHONE CHATTING,LEAVING ME WITH LESS ATTENTION, I GOT ANGRY AND DEMANDED TO SEE WHO IS MAKING HER IGNORE MY PRESENCE, BUT TO MY SURPRISE SHE BLUNTLY REFUSED, THOUGH I STRUGGLED OUT THE PHONE STILL COULDN'T ACCESS IT BECAUSE IT WAS CODED AND SHE REFUSED TO UNLOCK IT EVEN WITH ALL MY THREATS SO WE QUARRELED OVER IT WHICH LEAD TO CARRYING OF FACE AND ALL THAT.
THE NEXT DAY, OUT-OF ANGER I WENT TO MY FRIEND'S/COLLEAGUE'S (MALE) PLACE AND SPENT DE NIGHT AFTER THE BEER THINGS THOUGH THE FIRST TIME SINCE I GOT MARRIED,ONLY TO RETURN ON SATURDAY AND DISCOVERED SHE ALSO WENT OUT THAT SAME FRIDAY I LEFT AND DIDN'T RETURN, I CALLED HER FAMILY AND MY FAMILY SHE WAS NEVER THERE.
WHEN SHE RETURNED ON SUNDAY, I WALKED HER OUT AND SHE HAPPILY WALKED AWAY AND NEVER CALLED OR WENT TO EITHER OF DE FAMILIES HOUSE TILL I WENT BACK TO MY WORK PLACE THE NEXT DAY MONDAY.
3 DAYS LATER IN THE WEEK I WAS INFORMED BY A NEIGHBOR SHE RETURNED IMMEDIATELY I LEFT TO WORK,NOW AM DUE TO RETURN HOME FROM WORK IN FEW DAYS TIME.
my concerns are:
1. who was she chatting with that she refused to let me see?
2. why did she decides to sleep out and where?
3. could she be cheating on me?
WHAT SHOULD I DO? PLEASE I NEED UR ADVISE.

Questions, seriously
How old are you two?
How long did you know each other before you got married?

Now let us get down to business. I'm married. And I have a life apart from my husband. When he comes home and I am engrossed in whatever I am doing, he DOES NOT act like a petulant child and insist on my undivided attention. Let's look at it from a man's perspective. I assume that like most Nigerian men, you like, no adore, football. Are you trying to tell me that there has never been a time you have been totally engrossed in a game on TV to the point of ignoring everyone around you?

On to the next point. You DEMANDED? Meaning what? Because you are who? Even when I was still living with my parents, they never demanded. And my mate will be demanding. What rubbish. Didn't you ever learn to ask politely? And even if she ignored you, you couldn't go and calm down? Really, how old are you?

In anger, you spent the night away from your matrimonial home. Again, how old are you? In fact......
And then she does the same thing. How old is she? In fact, you two fit each other.

Then you come back, find out she is doing tit for tat and your oh so matured response is to send her away. Nigerian film.

And after thoroughly acting like a ..........(fill in the gap), you want advice.

Are you sure you are ready for the institution of marriage? Marriage is about communication. And I see no mention of it in your story. Go home and talk with your wife, not to her.

lorretta u: ok
In that case.you have to make her understand that maybe ur absence isn't what should be of great concern to her.

On the other hand,the other details,u knw what to do to fix them.and take the authoritarian note out of your voice.your wife is your partner and companion.not an errant child beneath you.treat her the exact same way you want her to treat you.

That being said,I don't support her being preoccupied with her phone and not giving u ur needed attention.that's rude

have a nice day.wish ur marriage the best.

You just labelled him wrongly and he deserves an apology

lorretta u: Oh really?
U demand to see her phone? Even wrestle it from her?
You walk out of your home in Anger and spend the night outside and you're surprised she did same?
You walk her out of your home and expect her to do what? Not go?
u walked her out and she obeyed,HAPPILY!
If she can access your phone,I don't believe she'll password her phone.but no.I'm sure yours is passworded and u want her to leave hers open.

Swear on your life OP.that those your 2 week travels each month doesn't take u into other women's arms.I mean swear and die.
Mtchew.I'm sure this lady is already fed up by you attitude so what she's doing is to tell you she doesn't give a damn anymore
She most likely isn't cheating on you.

Like seriously.I think what she's doing is only a mimicry of what you do.maybe yours is even worse.
And your probably one of those men who think that a man being the leader in the home means he can get away with any attitude and expect total compliance from his wife.
No listen! You're the leader in your home.remember the Golden words


Leaders lead by example!
Don't leave your home in anger.Never spend d night outside cos u r angry.it's bad.
Leave ur phone open if u want hers open.during those your travels,can she reach u freely?

Consider what you're not doing right,correct yourself and your wife will love and respect you.

Ekwuchala m!

Did u bother to ask the op where he works? Cos as far as I know, he works offshores nd u don't get to see a woman but water everywhere, why all the hate? Pls take a chill pill. I don't think u should really support the woman, give this man advice like u would give ur brother and ask him intelligible questions to clarify issue #peace#

there is something that happened that made her think that u wer not faithful and she is trying to teach u a lesson. Be calm and talk to her. woman only act crazy when hurt by something coz woman love n respect marriage

Tyche: Op, if she was cheating, you have messed up any chance of catching her. Your lack of self control have put her in a commanding position.



Never show your woman you are angry or agitated, It's umanly

My opinions. As stated above.

But just one episode no way.........you need more. Remember never show your feelings .....

Love more and deeper but open your eyes.
in a film called last done the main soldier was also the best dancer.
my question, did you marry your wife or g friend.

Take am inward look at yourself.

Tyche: Op, if she was cheating, you have messed up any chance of catching her. Your lack of self control have put her in a commanding position.



Never show your woman you are angry or agitated, It's umanly

My opinions. As stated above.

But just one episode no way.........you need more. Remember never show your feelings .....

Love more and deeper but open your eyes.
in a film called last done the main soldier was also the best dancer.
my question, did you marry your wife or g friend.?

Take a look inward, look at yourself. .

Remember marriage is nt for boys but men.
Sorry but from the color of your voice you are a boy.
you got to learn more.pm me for mp3.

Heineken: Seriously OP. Dis is sumao disgustin...I can't take it 4rm any lady at all. Even my gf can't try sh.its wit me not 2 talk of my wife. I'm not sayin u shud beat her o. Bt seriously my pple talk say wetin person no fit take when hyn don rich,na when hyn poor hyn dey go against 'em. Nooooooooooooo. Its sumao.

You write & sound like an illitrate.people like you take loads of crap from your gf,yet you come online & be formin boss.abeg let's hear word.