I bet you've never seen anything like 'auto-hate'. I coined it for the purpose of this discussion. As a kid, even till date, we dont travel to the village thanks to my dad. Tho he's late now we have imbibed the culture of not travelling to the village nor relating with my relatives. His reason??He was hated by his people.His family, his village, jealous on-lookers...He will always narrate stories of how so so and so set of people hate him even the people in his office.


My mom too has the same storyline.Back when we were in enugu, she'll tell u how much her colleagues hate and despise her. There was our neighbors in the yard, she was and still is a regular pilgrim to prayer houses cos she has so many haters.


In all the given instances, i never believe. I mean, how can it just be you the whole world hates?? Well, i grew and started work and im experiencing something similar. I am yet to admit, everyone hates me in the office and is workin toward my downfall (LOL)but seriously, its as if im lying to myself.


Now my questions are these: does this stuff happen to others. Asin are there people you know everybody just hates perhaps including you? Is the stuff hereditary? How can one avert it?? Obviously im not like others which is why i dont really blend like everyone else and have fewer and fake-er friends than normal people do. I'll just make a new friend in a new environment and we started off real good but before u know it, the whole relationship turns sour and its the same ol' story. Your thoughts pls

Nmeri17: I bet you've never seen anything like 'auto-hatred'. I coined it for the purpose of this discussion. As a kid, even till date, we dont travel to the village thanks to my dad. Tho he's late now we have imbibed the culture of not travelling to the village nor relating with my relatives. His reason??He was hated by his people.His family, his village, jealous on-lookers...He will always narrate stories of how so so and so set of people hate him even the people in his office.


My mom too has the same storyline.Back when we were in enugu, she'll tell u how much her colleagues hate and despise her. There was our neighbors in the yard, she was and still is a regular pilgrim to prayer houses cos she has so many haters.


In all the given instances, i never believe. I mean, how can it just be you the whole world hates?? Well, i grew and started work and im experiencing something similar. I am yet to admit, everyone hates me in the office and is workin toward my downfall (LOL)but seriously, its as if im lying to myself.


Now my questions are these: does this stuff happen to others. Asin are there people you know everybody just hates perhaps including you? Is the stuff hereditary? How can one avert it?? Obviously im not like others which is why i dont really blend like everyone else and have fewer and fake-er friends than normal people do. I'll just make a new friend in a new environment and we started off real good but before u know it, the whole relationship turns sour and its the same ol' story. Your thoughts pls

The solution to your issue likely lies in the bolded. Forget auto hatred and look at yourself, look for the behaviors you may have imbibed as a result of all the paranoia you grew up with. Examine how badly it comes off to other people. And change what you can.

That's a new one... Auto hatred.

Well according to your explanation , IMO I believe it happens ... First of all keep your office relationships strictly professional.

and second of all you don't necessarily have to be like everybody else before you're 'accepted' in their clique . or classified a good person according to their own definition, that's their own opinion , you're entitled to yours , there's such thing called an introvert and it's not a crime being one.

There're people out there who will accept you for who you are without being judged and put down... You just haven't met them yet.

Who needs many friends anyways.

Awww, I understand how you feel. Lets look at it from 2 angles.
1. Maybe you are different from most people around you. Are you often surrounded by people of your intellectual standing? Do you guys share the same aspirations, common goals or dreams? If no, this could be the cause of your rocky relationship with them because it has no common ground.
2. Maybe your parents belief has rubbed off you. It might have affected you psychologicaly which is why you might be quick to see your relationships with people giving the negative.
Just chill. Don't expect everybody to like you. Sadness really comes from failed expectations. Reply me first.

Not applicable. I DO NOT MAKE OR KEEP FRIENDS!!!!
I am very ANTI-SOCIAL.
I really could not care a whiff of fowl's fart if I am liked/loved or not! YOU ARE ONLY REQUIRED TO LOVE AND RESPECT YOURSELF in my presence!!!
Too much of a "narcissist' to care!

I love myself WAY toooooooo much to notice others! I have way too many jobs as a contractor. I don't have BOSSES!

My family LOVVVVVVVES moi! I DON'T NEED YOUR DANE GOD/JESUS, FACE BOOK OR YOU!!!!!

HALLELUJAH!!!!!

*off to my sweeeet job jare! Austin is beaurrrrriful*

Logging off!

Inasmuch as i try to sound modest i must say im not from the same intellectual background as my co-workers. They are just workers, i hope to be a computer engineer and programmer. I learnt computer from a different premise + i had other intentions aside just the salary and as such i happen to know more than almost all of them. But i choose to not believe they are jealous. Hymn be jealous if i were them. It really beats my imagination however i try to imagine that possibility.

Again same thing happened in high school and its not i was the brightest student so i cant really say anybody's jealous of me. Naturally im not noisy so i guess thats the demonic aura that curbs any attempts of potential long good friends. Once someone gets in contact wid me and finds how dull and boring i am, they ball

Ironically, i dont really like staying indoors. I love hanging out at night wid friends and laughin my balls off but sadly, here's my lot

do not worry you are not the only one on this. the are millions of people like you. when you are not a talker then people are kind of seeing you as bad person. they believe quite people are wicked and might do something bad without telling anyone and also boring to be around them. that's just it. they judge them before getting to know them really. they have the mentality of slow poison issue as well. i am talking from experience.

Well, I have met quite a few people in life who are not liked naturally by others!

But hating is on another level I don't wanna believe.

People might dislike you cos of ur aura, your facial expression, your wealth or your body carriage!!

Don't be so stuck up believing everyone just hates you. Concentrate on ur job & other things you do well.

As long as u are professional enough in your dealings with others, then the problem is theirs not yours if they go on hating.

Life is too short to be obsessed with people's perception of you.

I personally don't give a rat's asss what people think about me.....as long as I don't cross into their lane then they can go do a bungy jump with cobwebs tied to their waste!!

Royal Roy:

Well, I have met quite a few people in life who are not liked naturally by others!!

But hating is on another level I don't wanna believe.

People might dislike you cos of ur aura, your facial expression, your wealth or your body carriage!!

@bolded. Why is that so? That is also part of the op's complaint?

If everybody around you hates you or complains about you, then take another look at yourself!

There is nothing like 'auto-hate', it just doesn't exist . . . .

Your family has brain washed you, please don't continue that line of sadism!

There's nothing i personally hate more than seeing people who should be doing something useful with their lives, sitting on their haunches and thinking spending significant amounts of time hating on others, is a worthwhile activity?

However, its a free world, and everyone should spend their time as they like.

The only thing which is certain, at the end, is each and every one of us has a debt which we cant escape paying.

After that, its up to God to be the judge.

Topic

If you are outside of your comfort zone, you are likely to be seen as a target, by others who are in a group.

Its very rare to see indians, carribeans, etc being picked on, this is because they take strength in numbers, and you wont find just one of them in a place.

The chinese/asians, try picking on one of them and see what happens to you.

^the op is in nigeria

^ well, sometimes there are things which you just have to learn how to navigate.

Even friends can get separated after sometime, how much more strangers who are all struggling for scarce resources.

He should either try to build friendships ( good luck with that, in this day and age), or else understudy whatever he says people are doing, then do it better.

Royal Roy: Well, I have met quite a few people in life who are not liked naturally by others!

But hating is on another level I don't wanna believe.

yea they are two different things. My mom while living in enugu will often times find charms placed by her car or on top of it. Now she stays in onitsha and alas unknown persons scratch her car's body wid sharp objects and ties red cloths to her car. Thats not dislike. Thats hatred!!!!!

Ujujoan: If everybody around you hates you or complains about you, then take another look at yourself!

There is nothing like 'auto-hate', it just doesn't exist . . . .

Your family has brain washed you, please don't continue that line of sadism!

no dear. I've taken severall looks at myself before posting on here. Infact i have a topic asking what my problem is. If indeed i have a problem(which i kno i do) its such that i cant see it and the few people that can see it cannot say it to any living mortal

sounds like hometown things,

aka dem send dem send, ie messenger.

you should get close to God for protection.

Heee..heee Had a good laugh. Auto-hate, really? It may be envy.
Forgiveness rules!

[ I face the same tin bro.... people call me.lazy for no reason,even people that doesn't know me....wen I pass I hear such tins,it makes me depressed..... just the hate and gossips.