I am a 31 year old married woman wit a son less than a year,my marriage is almost 2 years. I noticed my husband don't really like making love from d 1st week of our marriage,he responded to my complaints by saying he's fratigued from d wedding stress.....but it has lingered until now, we barely have sex 2 times in a month,anytime I complain he will laugh and say it's because am a self employed woman and I have a lot of time to think about sex,so am so tired of complaining and feeling like a slut...but I feel so deprived,am a Christian,I can't ,cheat on him,sometimes I masturbate just to get satisfied,but I always feel guilty and dirty afterwards, this is not a topic I can easily walk to anyone to discuss,am really frustrated,pls I need as many advice and ideas I can get........

pls in God's name,no insults....I just need candid advise....thanks.

I think your pastor or his mom or dad or urs shall know about it a problem share is half sovle

Just pray he's not getting it from elsewhere cos i don't know how a man can refuse sex this much.

hmmm it must be so hard on you...if ur marriage is almost two yrs en u ve sex problems which ve been there since day one...dnt u think u need to see a marriage counsellor?

Be romantic with him. If you make him notice your sex symbol.
Eating together,
Say beautiful words to him,
Hold hands together,
UnCloth and dress in his presence.
Bath with him.
Kiss him,
Get him want you.
Body no be wood, he will definitely respond

Yur husband is Gay!!!

Gv hm osomo or stout .
Or take hm to a counsellor.

I watch this funny series called Desperate Housewives. Anyway, I'm going to tell you what Tom told his wife one day on the topic of sex: men are never too tired to have sex. So to me, I don't buy your husband's excuse that he's tired from work. I know a guy that does it almost everyday. He's a carpenter. (don't ask me how I know this cos I won't tell). My point is, maybe you should try and revitalize your sexual relationship. Men often get aroused by what they see. Do you know his turn ons? I know it sounds childish but some men are turned on by a certain dress.
And then you need to talk with him. Ask him if there's some fantasy he wants to try out. The problem is between the two of you, and as such, I don't think you should involve a third party, especially your in-laws. If you try every other thing and it doesn't work? Honey, get a Love Machine. They are sometimes more effective and trustworthy.

fabulousdame: hmmm it must be so hard on you...if ur marriage is almost two yrs en u ve sex problems which ve been there since day one...dnt u think u need to see a [marriage counsellor?

Are u a Nigerian

Did you guys date at all before marriage? Was there pre-marital s..ex? Did you guys ever talk about it?

ULSHERLAN:
Are u a Nigerian

yep why?

Your husband is either gay or he is getting it from some place else. Even if he is getting it from outside, he shouldn't be tired at all. Was sex like this before marriage?

I have not met that guy yet that is too tired for sex. Even if he works 22hrs in a day, he is never tired for sex. You may not have the right organ that your husband is attracted to.

fabulousdame:
yep why?

Maybe ur not based in Nigeria cos not every married couple in Nigeria knows abt the counseling ur talking about. Percentage is sure less than 5%

[color=#000099][/color]

vivianc: Did you guys date at all before marriage? Was there pre-marital s..ex? Did you guys ever talked about it?

yes we dated for 18months,premarital sex was a no no for both of us....we did talk about sexuality but how was I suppose to know dis by merely talking.

Omo_Alata: Your husband is either gay or he is getting it from some place else. Even if he is getting it from outside, he shouldn't be tired at all. Was sex like this before marriage?

I have not met that guy yet that is too tired for sex. Even if he works 22hrs in a day, he is never tired for sex. You may not have the right organ that your husband is attracted to.

I don't think I understand wat" right organ"means...maybe u should elaborate

ULSHERLAN:
Maybe ur not based in Nigeria cos not every married couple in Nigeria knows abt the counseling ur talking about. Percentage is sure less than 5%

i'm based in nigeria and i agree with you though.. most married couples in nigeria either do not know about counselling or dont buy the idea

It could be more of a psychological problem and less physical problem,u and ur husband or better still you alone can go to see a marriage counselor with experience,something is wrong somewhere,most times when I hear complaints like this it is usually the men that complain that their wife is not giving him sex but for a woman to say it out that her man is not giving her sex that shows how hurt you are,most men do not get tired for sex,infact they will be the one disturbing,sit ur husband down,make him happy,cook his best food,let him have a good shower,after that just start talking to him and tell him that u are not happy with the way he is treating u,if he does not change,then marriage counselor is an option and if that does not work too,na to beg GOD oooo make him change ur husband mind and if still he does not change then you have to make a smart decision

bossybom: [color=#000099][/color]

yes we dated for 18months,premarital sex was a no no for both of us....we did talk about sexuality but how was I suppose to know dis by merely talking.

I asked you these questions so that I could understand how water passed under the bridge. This is your husband's nature and yes, you couldn't have known by a mere talk. You are gonna have to make some efforts; seduce him, plan romantic moments, initiate s...ex, get dirty, keep talking to him about it. Don't ever feel like a 'slut' anymore while at it cos he is your husband and you are a co-owner of his body.

However, also prepare your mind that this is what you are gonna live with for the rest of your live.

Goodluck my dear, you'd need plenty of it.

The guy is not gay, and please discard this "he is getting it from somewhere else" idea. Pls for the sake of your marriage, don't let this idea sink into your head. Not all men like s..ex, there are people like that and unfortunately, this is his nature. He did not change, you didn't even get the chance to find out how lively his s..ex.ual life is before you married him.

Lure him to synagogue

sexytabhi: stop disturbing him,he doesn't find you sexually appealing shikena.
Ok on a serious note,pretend like you are gettin it from another guy nd make it know to him,let's see his reaction.

smh

fabulousdame: hmmm it must be so hard on you...if ur marriage is almost two yrs en u ve sex problems which ve been there since day one...dnt u think u need to see a marriage counsellor?

Hi5 babe..dat shud be d it..marriage counsellor

born2fuck: ...Or try add sex enhancer to his drink...

Seriously...are there stuffs like dt?

I have gone through your post and I really pity you.There are 3 reasons why he refuses to have sex with you

1) He might have poor libido and might not be sexually energetic to handle your sexual demands

2)He might be asexual.Asexuals are a set of people who do not like or have sex at all and when forced to do so find it very unpleasant

3)Your husband might be Gay and have attraction only for same sex

Go to any doctor and tell the doctor to order testosterone level, prolactin level and thyroid hormone level from your husband blood
Low testosterone and high prolactin level can cause reduce sexual interest.

Start with that first .

this is siriyos!!!
you sure he doesnt like being bleeped by dicks?

make sure you are a clean chick, use lots of seafoods to cook. give him water melon often, spanish fly don finish for market?
babe...
he cant fit tok d@ he doesnt want after all dis na...

bishopoliver: Yur husband is Gay!!!

My thought exactly.

vivianc: The guy is not gay, and please discard this "he is getting it from somewhere else" idea. Pls for the sake of your marriage, don't let this idea sink into your head. Not all men like s..ex, there are people like that and unfortunately, this is his nature. He did not change, you didn't even get the chance to find out how lively his s..ex.ual life is before you married him.

Keep living in denial. All non- girly gays in nigeria must marry a woman to fit in and satisfy the society and family members,and the plight of this op,will be the plight of their wives.

1 of d reasons why there should be sex before marriage!

austushi1: 1 of d reasons why there should be sex before marriage!

When I started a thread on it, encouraging sex in a relationship, nairalanders wanted to tear my head off! Now this is where your happily ever after has landed you.
Endure it, afterall, its going to be a 75 years of misery, your reward is in heaven.

#did you say 2 times in a week? Damn! That's half of what you're supposed to enjoy PER DAY!