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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? (3424 Views)
Lady Accuses Married Man Of Impregnating Women With Fake Marriage Proposal / Is It Ok To Date A Married Man? / How Long Did You Wait For His Proposal? (2) (3) (4)
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by prosper86: 5:32pm On Nov 23, 2013 |
Thanks y'all for all d advice , I have discussed with him and he has agreed to postpone d introduction till we r ready,we have agreed to date for sometime,my mom adviced that I see his mom as agreed tomorrow so as to get a feel of his family and also see our pastor. All d same,he has agreed to also pray and we get to know each other more. |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by eagleeye2: 5:37pm On Nov 23, 2013 |
prosper86: Thanks y'all for all d advice , I have discussed with him and he has agreed to postpone d introduction till we r ready,we have agreed to date for sometime,my mom adviced that I see his mom as agreed tomorrow so as to get a feel of his family and also see our pastor. May the Good Lord guide you and let His light shine on your path. Amen. NB It's a good decision. Relax and let nature play its role. Que Sera Sera. |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by baralatie(m): 6:24pm On Nov 23, 2013 |
prosper86: Thanks y'all for all d advice , I have discussed with him and he has agreed to postpone d introduction till we r ready,we have agreed to date for sometime,my mom adviced that I see his mom as agreed tomorrow so as to get a feel of his family and also see our pastor.rem blessed! |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by Nobody: 6:41pm On Nov 23, 2013 |
@ op Well in my opinion, use wisdom to prolong things and use that time to study him and also pray also don't let him meet your family till you are satisfied with your study. If after studying him you don't like what you see, take a walk. A guy does not necessarily have to date a lady for 15years, propose to her in the 16th year before u know he is clean. A period of between 6months-1 year max is alright, IMO. |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by Annie2gud(f): 6:49pm On Nov 23, 2013 |
@Eagle its Qui sera sera*winkz* |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by temi4fash(m): 7:08pm On Nov 23, 2013 |
eagle,eye: |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by kenyarttar: 7:53pm On Nov 23, 2013 |
eagle,eye: O boy what the fu[ck is "get it over with"? Na quickie you dey talk about abi na marriage? You just end up sounding like a truant student killing himself the night before exams to crash cram while his mates have been studying since the start of the semester. Tell him to chill the fu[ck out and date some more. It's never good to make life decisions when one has an e[rection (the relationship is still at the initial gra gra lovey dovey stage) |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by EfemenaXY: 8:07pm On Nov 23, 2013 |
^^ Well said jare. Marriage is a serious game played by two adults. It's not about how quickly one get's married - but how long one REMAINS married. |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by eagleeye2: 8:10pm On Nov 23, 2013 |
kenyarttar:Please try reading my whole posts before resorting to the use of gutter language. |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by eagleeye2: 8:17pm On Nov 23, 2013 |
Efemena_xy: ^^ Well said jare.Efe, I still maintain that a time comes in a guys life that he gets fed up with all these dating and quiting, and all he wants to do then is find that serious babe who can complment him as a life partner. I have never said that Dating or Courtship should be removed from the picture. If the lady is ripe enough for marriage, she should try dating or courting this guy and see if they are compatible. But sometimes when a guy makes his intentions about settling down known before starting the dating, some ladies get scared and take to their heels. Only for them to stop and try to retrace their steps to the guy, but sometimes the guy has moved on to the next Lady who is ready to study him and if all things work out for both, they will become man and wife. NB Ladies shouldn't get scared immediately a guy mentions marriage at the beginning. I have cousins who dated for a short time with their husbands before tying the knot. And their marriage still stands after so many years. 1 Like |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by temi4fash(m): 9:51pm On Nov 23, 2013 |
kenyarttar: from ur assertion are u saying the longer d courtship d higher the probability of the marriage not crumbling ![]() ![]() |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by bisi16(m): 11:49pm On Nov 23, 2013 |
my dear.. he's not ur hussy o! coz u're just a 2nd option. he sounds desperate |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by soulglo: 2:33am On Nov 24, 2013 |
Please don't be the rebound chick |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by eagleeye2: 7:10am On Nov 24, 2013 |
Annie2gud: @Eagle its Qui sera sera*winkz*thankz |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by EfemenaXY: 7:43am On Nov 24, 2013 |
eagle,eye: Irrespective of how many failed relationships and disappointments he's had in the past, there are certain things that just can't be rushed - one of which is the dating game. Yes, it's good to know what you want as an individual, but you have to make sure the other person you've set your eyes on is good for you and likewise she, him (vise versa). Marriage is a serious life-time commitment. It's not something you jump into when the going's good and then jump out of when the going gets tough... and if you're planning on spending the next forty, fifty, sixty or even seventy years of your life with your intended, surely taking a year or two to understand him / her isn't asking too much? To do otherwise (like Solomon Grandy - popular children's poem) is akin to judging a book by it's cover. No serious minded mature person should do that. You must scratch beneath the surface to make sure what you see before you is real. The only exception I see to this (taking your time), are cases of arranged marriages - which isn't the case for @OP or you either, abi? |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by eagleeye2: 8:14am On Nov 24, 2013 |
Efemena_xy:Okay ohh. But I saw a thread yesterday about some guy who wants to break of a 7 years relationship. Abeg, ladies in the house you can date as long as possible so that you can find all the 'skeletons' you are looking for. Like someone will say, when you date for so long you begin to see irrelevant things. To each his/her own. |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by kenyarttar: 8:34am On Nov 24, 2013 |
Efemena_xy:Well said Efemena_xy. This eagle,eye guy on the other hand thinks he's some sort of hot cake god's gift to women. Mature minds know that it's not how quick but how well. 1 Like |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by EfemenaXY: 8:36am On Nov 24, 2013 |
eagle,eye: You're deliberately misunderstanding what I wrote. Obviously seven years is a lot. Did you not see where I said taking a year or two out to date and understand your intended? Efemena_xy: |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by eagleeye2: 9:01am On Nov 24, 2013 |
eagle,eye: Efe, did you at least read the bolded in my earlier post? I wasn't advocating for any quick fix marriage. I am of the opinion the OP should give this guy a chance, let both of the date and study each other. Marriage is about compatibility, tolerance and two forgivers being in a union. Some guys don't believe in beating about the bush before making their intentions known. A Scenerio: "Babe, I like you. Even though I don't really know you, but I wouldn't mind if you let me into your life. I have come off age, and I am looking forward to settling down at the earliest possible time. If all things work out fine between us, we may become man and wife at the end of the day" ................ ....... ..... How about the above on a first date? |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by EfemenaXY: 9:14am On Nov 24, 2013 |
^^ There's a difference between making your marriage intentions known on the first date (I still think that's odd and I for one won't take such a person seriously) and expecting your intended to quickly say "I do" within a very short period of meeting. Yes, by all means, let your intentions be known from the start but do not expect the other person (girls especially) to jump into a wedding gown just because you're tired of the dating game. |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by eagleeye2: 9:24am On Nov 24, 2013 |
Efemena_xy: ^^ There's a difference between making your marriage intentions known on the first date (I still think that's odd and I for one won't take such a person seriously) and expecting your intended to quickly say "I do" within a very short period of meeting.The Bolded is so true about so many ladies. And I am saying that it's not all guys who want to keep beating about the bush. |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by EfemenaXY: 9:35am On Nov 24, 2013 |
^^ Dating and getting to know the other person whom you'll be spending the rest of your life with, isn't beating around the bush. What advice will you tender to your younger sister (or daughter when the time comes), if they come up to you, telling you about someone they met on Sunday - who on the first date announced that he wants to marry them? Honestly, what would your reaction be? |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by eagleeye2: 10:41am On Nov 24, 2013 |
^^^ There is no magic formula for these kind of things. "All things worketh together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by LerrieJohn(f): 10:43am On Nov 24, 2013 |
eagle,eye:I totally agree with you eagle eye...probably one of the few ladies here who will. I met my hubby the same way too, though we knew ourselves from friends we had never met. He asked me to marry him 3 days after we met and I said yes. We starting courting and married two years later. I understand one can get suspicious and curious, but you can never fully know anybody in a month, 5 years or even a lifetime together. @ OP, give this man a chance, don't prolong getting married too long, once you accept his proposal concentrate on understanding the sort of person he is and if you want to pass the rest of your life together. Sit down and talk about all the important issues people have said earlier. The difference between this kind of relationship where a man makes his intentions known is that you know where you are heading to, the altar. You are not in a relationship of doubts. If you feel you are not mature or ready to settle down then please decline his offer. |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by EfemenaXY: 10:43am On Nov 24, 2013 |
eagle,eye: Keep religion out of it. You're assuming I'm a Christian? |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by eagleeye2: 11:22am On Nov 24, 2013 |
Efemena_xy:Ok Ma. |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by Nobody: 11:44am On Nov 24, 2013 |
Lerrie John: Best Advice so far......... 1000 likes ![]() |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by obowunmi(m): 12:01pm On Nov 24, 2013 |
It's not a one-sized fits all rule. What works for some folks doesn't work for others. The most important thing is to use your head and listen to your heart. I know that I don't like to be rushed. I also don't do poor, broke, fat, impotent, barren, ugly, uneducated, non-christian, short... So that narrows down my pool significantly hence, where am I rushing to? 1 Like |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by dad007(m): 12:33pm On Nov 24, 2013 |
I KEEP ON SAYING THIS,MARRIAGE TO A GOOD MAN OR A GOOD WOMAN IS BY THE GRACE OF GOD.EVEN THE GREATEST WISDOM IN A MAN,OR IN A WOMAN MAY NOT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.I, MYSELF FOUND A LADY,A WEEK LATER,I ASK IF SHE WILL MARRY ME. AND SHE WAS SO SUPRISE,AND ASK, WHY? I TOLD HER THE TRUTH.AND THAT IS,I HAVE BEEN WITH A LADY FOR QUITE SOME YRS,YET I COULDNT REALLY UNDERSTAND HER...BUT SHE SAID SHE NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ME.OFCUSS,I REPLIED.I TOLD HER ENGAGEMENT DOESNT MEAN SHE IS MY WIFE YET...IT WAS AFTER TWO MONTHS OF OUR COURTSHIP,SHE ASK ME WHEN ARE WE GETTING MARRIED? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by Annie2gud(f): 12:36pm On Nov 24, 2013 |
Shut ur loose.listen to the words of eagle and efe.your conclusions..too hasty bisi16: my dear.. he's not ur hussy o! coz u're just a 2nd option. he sounds desperate |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by Annie2gud(f): 12:40pm On Nov 24, 2013 |
Nice one.happenned to me too.my traditional marriage is this dec.my husband just came,asked me,annie are you ready to marry,i said yes.i hav done my court marriage in naija..and next month is the trado stuff.God bless ur home. dad007: I KEEP ON SAYING THIS,MARRIAGE TO A GOOD MAN OR A GOOD WOMAN IS BY THE GRACE OF GOD.EVEN THE GREATEST WISDOM IN A MAN,OR IN A WOMAN MAY NOT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.I, MYSELF FOUND A LADY,A WEEK LATER,I ASK IF SHE WILL MARRY ME. AND SHE WAS SO SUPRISE,AND ASK, WHY? I TOLD HER THE TRUTH.AND THAT IS,I HAVE BEEN WITH A LADY FOR QUITE SOME YRS,YET I COULDNT REALLY UNDERSTAND HER...BUT SHE SAID SHE NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ME.OFCUSS,I REPLIED.I TOLD HER ENGAGEMENT DOESNT MEAN SHE IS MY WIFE YET...IT WAS AFTER TWO MONTHS OF OUR COURTSHIP,SHE ASK ME WHEN ARE WE GETTING MARRIED? 1 Like |
Re: Is It OK To Accept His Proposal? by Geometrix(m): 12:53pm On Nov 24, 2013 |
eagle,eye:@eagle.eye, this ur analogy quite explains my present predicament.am really tired of the dating game and the lady i've been meeting,i always let them know of my intentions at first.Infact the present one finks i have a skeleton in my cupboard and is really taking her time which i understand.but my problem is that she still expect me to be spending on her which i actually did at first because i believe in giving once there is a legitimate reason.i have stopped, one to give her ample time to decide what she actually wants and to knw whether she was really into me because of the giving.for now i dont how long am gonna wait but thanks for the insight. |
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