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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? (27886 Views)
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Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 12:29pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
lorretta u: Might be a generalization,but has anyone else noticed such too?@ Op, you cant settle this matter once and for all, not least on this forum. hahahah My mum should just join this forum and learn some lessons. That will go a long way in solving my/her problems. On a serious note, there is no right or wrong answer in this. Marriage is a big gamble, exciting gamble into the bliss or misery whether you live overseas or at home. Walk with God and everything will fall into place. If you live overseas and marry there, things can still go wrong; if you live overseas and marry from Naija, things can still go awry etc. Individuals take decisions as they deem fit. personally, I think we should just have a plan and parameters and believe God based on these. 5 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by logica(m): 12:29pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
It is hard for a Nigerian dude to settle for a girl who's mostly been passed around. The Nigerian communities abroad are small and we are not Oyinbos that don't care if their friends and acquaintances had slept with their wife-to-be. So the first date is a make or mar; once you as a Nigerian girl start off with a failed relationship, it will be a slippery slope of one after another. Your best bet is to marry the first guy you date over there; because I can assure you that when a guy gets interested in you and checks your background he will quickly lose interest when he finds you'd dated guys he knows. There are other reasons though, but that tops the list. 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by vislabraye(m): 12:29pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
lorretta u: Might be a generalization,but has anyone else noticed such too? Op U shud be happy that you have a man asking your hand in marriage though he hardly knows you. Well, its a matter of choice. How many Nigerian ladies will U find abroad compared to what U find @ home. U'll have a wider variety to choose from. |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by vislabraye(m): 12:29pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
lorretta u: Might be a generalization,but has anyone else noticed such too? Op U shud be happy that you have a man asking your hand in marriage though he hardly knows you. Well, its a matter of choice. How many Nigerian ladies will U find abroad compared to what U find @ home. U'll have a wider variety to choose from. |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Mikhaela: 12:30pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
Ihedinobi: What should I expect? I don't understand your statement. I really do not care how you were raised as long as we are compatible. If a guy expects me to cook or be a stay at home mom (If I decide one day I want children), he can walk away or I will. It will never work out... that's not how I was raised. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nnamdini(m): 12:33pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
Everything you wrote here is true.the major reason has to do with the orientation we grew up with.its better to marry at home because of stability of marriage and better upbringing of the children |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 12:38pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
vislabraye:why should that make me happy? What if I'd married then and I'm divorced now at a very tender age? I don't like nonsense. I may not be able to take it if he dishes it. That's why some romance is important in marriage. How will I love n romance a man I don't know in the name of recommendation marriage? 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by DonOms(m): 12:41pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
Alleinad: this thread has been an eye opener to me. There are virtuous women everywhere, it just depends on where you're seeking them from. I also think alot more ladies need advice, its not like they are intentionally that way, its just that they dont know any better. the media has brainwashed them n nobody has sat them down to re-orientate them. my mum once sat one of such girls, very beautiful girl, n spoke to her. the girl used to pass our shop, she was always dressed indecently n had been searching for a husband for some years, after my mom spoke to her, she broke down n cried for hours, she said no one had ever told her these things. long story short, she changed n is now married.Don't mind that I quoted you. I just love it when people with correct brain comment. 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 12:42pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
logica: It is hard for a Nigerian dude to settle for a girl who's mostly been passed around. The Nigerian communities abroad are small and we are not Oyinbos that don't care if their friends and acquaintances had slept with their wife-to-be. So the first date is a make or mar; once you as a Nigerian girl start off with a failed relationship, it will be a slippery slope of one after another. Your best bet is to marry the first guy you date over there; because I can assure you that when a guy gets interested in you and checks your background he will quickly lose interest when he finds you'd dated guys he knows. In fact, this is the case of Sydney;most Naija ladies have been passed around. 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 12:43pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
EBK2:lol I was kidding about that |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by 5megabyte: 12:43pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
Coming back home to marry is MOSTLY an Ibo thing, its not popular with other tribes. Ibos are very traditional no matter how travelled, 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by 2mch(m): 12:44pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
logica: It is hard for a Nigerian dude to settle for a girl who's mostly been passed around. The Nigerian communities abroad are small and we are not Oyinbos that don't care if their friends and acquaintances had slept with their wife-to-be. So the first date is a make or mar; once you as a Nigerian girl start off with a failed relationship, it will be a slippery slope of one after another. Your best bet is to marry the first guy you date over there; because I can assure you that when a guy gets interested in you and checks your background he will quickly lose interest when he finds you'd dated guys he knows.Passed around? You mean girls in Nigeria who have slept with all your fathers age mates and all your age mates? When you try to seek political position people will be laughing at you. Guy you funny die. Girls in Nigeria are more passed around than abroad. They are hungry and will cheat. Many guys go to Nigeria and do 3somes. Who are these girls they are doing it with. You say we should marry prostitutes? Even village girls are big time prostitutes because of poverty in the country. Tell another lie. You know how men who marry wives from naija get divorced? Like water 4 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by oldbende: 12:44pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
But the Nigerian girls here only like doctors and highly educated men, they won't marry a security guard or a taxi driver to grow together. 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Tekzyflex(m): 12:47pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
lorretta u: Might be a generalization,but has anyone else noticed such too? Nigeria girls are even worst than the above mentioned white girls. My bros in US said he wanted a wife here in Naija and I ask him if there isn't a gud girl over there;he said all the girls are wild,lazy gud for nothing blah blah blah. He back to naija and got married to a girl that is soo lazy. The truth is that good girls are everywhere verse ver sa bad girls,it all depends on how to identify the one that is suitable for u. |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Incrizz(f): 12:48pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
nayef:Who is Sydney? |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by pickabeau1: 12:50pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
Sadly true....... 2mch: 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by MsNas(f): 12:51pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
Some Naija girls here can make men run away to Nigeria to marry. Why? They can so form? As Ogugua said "Food? They can't cook.. Language? They can't speak." but yet they be like Nigerian men are this and that. They make fun of most of us that wasn't born here. One (Girl o ) called me FOB (Fresh Off the Boat) when I came and I was like your parents were also FOBs so get over it. I know some who are cool though. |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by KingEdwardI(m): 12:52pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
ebamma: a word of advice for those guys, many girls here in nigeria can't cook too, aren't that submissive, love expensive wigs, jewelleries, and clothes, so my advice stick with the devil over there u know, cos its hard seeing angels over here Can't agree enough with u. Never been a fan of wigs/hair extensions (huge turn off). Prefer ladies with natural hair; black, white or asian. Ever since I arrived, I haven't found any YET, of note...... Most I come across usually have one demand or the other. Asking once in a while ain't an issue but frequent 'it's-your-responsibility'/'if-I-mean-something-to-you' style of asking....and she ain't accepted/we ain't even married yet. Some weeks ago, I went to see a lady at her house. On getting there, the security guard told me she had just stepped out. Called her phone and she said to come meet her at a small supermarket 4 houses from hers. No worries, might as well walk down d road to meet her. After getting d things she wanted, we started walking back to the house. The next thing I hear is 'when are you guna you get me a ride?'.... cos she doesn't want to walk in the sun on d way bak to her house. I just smiled. Wth? 4 houses away, you wanna drive there. You aren't carrying the shopping bag, you're too tired to walk. The car was parked at her house, nowt I could do. It must have been sunny or cloudy when she left her house. Now, the weather is too hot to go back to your house. Obviously didn't say none of that out. She ain't my girlfriend yet. That was the last time I went to see her and stopped contacting her. 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Incrizz(f): 12:54pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
logica: Good luck (Jonathan).Lol |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Okijajuju1(m): 12:55pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
Answer includes but not limited to; 1. The Laws of Nigeria: In Nigeria, the marital laws are more favorable to men. They can divorce their wives and not be tied down by laws like Alimony law, Child support, spouse support, e.t.c.. 2. Tradition: Most Nigerian men are still very traditional in their hearts. They may be attracted to the flash, the glam and the shine, but at the end of the day, they still want wives that were like their mothers in many ways. Women who understand the traditional values of marriage and home-keeping. Women who wouldnt start thinking to divorce at every provocation of fight. 3. Upbringing/Character: Most 'Western Wives' are all caught up in this whole 21st century nonsense of 'Independent woman', 'Working Class woman', 'Gender Equality', 'Geneva convention' thing and most Nigerian men are not ready to be married to another 'Man'. We all still want women who understand thier 'Traditional' roles in the home and their responsibilities to their husband and children and are ready to meet them. 4. Food: Nigerian men that have been raised in Nigeria for the better part of their youth have some fundamental that have been inculcated into their upbringing that they most times return in search of. Example: Food; Men may love KFC, but when they return home, they want a steaming hot plate of Pounded Yam (not poundo) and Ewedu soup. 5. To be continued 8 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 12:56pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
EBK2:lol I was just kidding about that |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Tekzyflex(m): 12:56pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
sexkillz: I noticed that too. And it hardly goes down well, in my opinion. Jesus wept! God bless u broda...this is exactly what is happening to my elder bros is US...I wish he will read this...I jst sent the link to his page 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 12:58pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
dotcom_na_me_na_me:An unsubmissive Nigerian woman who suddenly becomes submissive because she smelt abroad money will become unsubmissive when she has gotten to the diaspora and realized her full potentials as a woman. She would one day get tired of you always telling her what to do and when that happens, she'll become more unsubmissive than that lady you left in the diaspora to come marry her. . . The devil you know in the diaspora is better than the angel you do not know in Nigeria. Unless of course you knew her before you travelled abroad. 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 12:59pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
lorretta u: lol Cool. Of course I know you are |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Deschil: 1:00pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
Some of these guys are gay and can't date a girl that lives close to them. They can only compromise by getting a girl far away while hoping her naivete will stop her from noticing his lifestyle when she eventually moves over. I know this for a fact. |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by jerrymania(m): 1:01pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
Okija_juju: Answer includes but not limited to; the most complete answer so far 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Ukofelix18: 1:03pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
I think, it depends on the individual. Coming to reality, men in abroad should come down home and marry. |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 1:06pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
Billyonaire: SexKillz, Tell me more......cos I got this pemperempe I liked from Anambra, and there were 4 suitors coming for her last December, (na me give am transport oh), I heard 1 from Malaysia, 2 from US and 1 from London. Why would Diasporans be that silly to come to marry babe wey just comot from my bedroom to go enjoy xmas for East, as in correct by-the-side oshofree.Because they know that girls at home will hardly resist a fresh abroad guy who has promised her things and places she has only seen in movies and magazines. They are easily manipulated and lured with the good things of life. Most of those girls believe that guys abroad are better. The pressure from parents as well to have a "well to do" son in-law from abroad is there too. . . Those guys know all these and they'll try to use it to their advantage. . . |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 1:09pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
King Edward I:Hahahaha. Doesnt matter who you marry. You will be asked for a car at some point whether on a first date, before marriage, after marriage, after first child etc. This question will prop up one day even if she has more money and cars than you. But asking for a car in the first instance may be a revelation of flawed motive (it may not be). But girls should seriously wait for sometime before asking. Most men hate it (although most men like to give... at the right time). I do!. This topic is not a easy one and before you know it, both sexes will start abusing each other (by that time, i will be out the door. lol) |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 1:10pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
Mikhaela:I'm just trying to balance the equation here. He has to take you as you are and expect no adjustments, you say, but he has to "make you comfortable". Have you ever seen anyone who makes anyone else comfortable without adjusting in some way to suit that other person? Relationships are two way, ma'am. He gives, you give. You both get. You'll have to adjust too. You'll probably have to learn how to cook and you might sacrifice a bit of your career too. Unless you're willing to put down, you're not gonna get anything. You'll just waltz through a series of relationships and end up maybe bitter but certainly alone and possibly lonely. 4 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by clapham(m): 1:10pm On Dec 03, 2013 |
Make dem talk me i go yarn @ op you are on your own What make people here conclude that naija babe are the best submissive and good housewife? its a great mistake many guys in the land of great britain have made. Most nigerian ladies in UK are even more worst than thier british born counterpart,its our ladies who were born in nigeria and migrated to britain that want to explore and in the course of exploring they dont care and why do you think a guy will settle for such. everyone to his own opinion, guys coming back home is just a trick and maybe to use the lady to serve one purpose or the other, their are still good naija babes here,i still have loads of suitor back in naija ,nothing will make me think of going there to bring someone here, believe me experience is the best teacher. Many of my friends are happily married to oyinosha and they are very excited,some osha are even to supportful than naija babes who are secretly saving money to build mansion back home. yea some occasions where some guys are engaged before travelling occurs where the guy goes home to bring the babe but personally i wont support that idea cos when the babe see london finish ................... you know what will happen. 3 Likes |
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