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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. (2118 Views)
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Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Networkmaster(m): 10:24am On Dec 05, 2013 |
I will go straight to the point. By the end of this month we are scheduled to get married ( Court Wedding ). Two days ago i left my laptop with my lady to do some of her personal work and i forgot i didn't sign-out of Facebook and Skype. Unfortunately for me, she went through my messages and chats. She found out i have been having some online stupid flirts with some ladies. These ladies are far away from us in different countries. Some i have meet before and never had anything with them. One was my ex-girlfriend in South Africa and we still communicate till date even though we both know their is nothing more between us, but we just remained friends online. One is in the-same country with us but i have never had anything with her but from my chats with her i have been trying to convince her to fall for my evil mind. My girl read every single messages on my Facebook and choose to save them all. She has called off the wedding plan for December and has moved all her belongings out of my house yesterday b4 i arrived from work. I am so much in love with her and still want to marry her. I have pleaded with her for forgiveness but she wouldn't listen. She said she has lost all the trust she has for me. I have closed down my Facebook account this morning. My dear Nairalanders, I am so confused and don't know what else to say or do. How long does it take a lady to forgive a man in such cases? can i ever win back her trust? will she ever come back to me? My sister is her good friend and she has spoken to my lady but she told my sister, it will take her sometime but she didn't assure her anything. Please people, what else can i say or do to get back my lady. NOTE: I never slept with these ladies, except my ex girlfriend whom she knows about and that was two years ago. Please advice, you can aLl call me all the hard names like she has been doing since yesterday but all i want is to get my lady back. |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by KenJak(m): 10:33am On Dec 05, 2013 |
In this case,you dont have to lie at all,you have to be completely sincere. Go to her parents to explain everything and if possible,meet with the lady to explain and if compulsory/needed,you can swear for her. |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by oasis01(m): 10:36am On Dec 05, 2013 |
Just give her some time,but keep pleading with her.Also assure her of repentance from such act with evidences.Goodluck. |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Nobody: 10:47am On Dec 05, 2013 |
The trouble of social networks. U r about to get married and u still engage in silly chats ![]() ![]() |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Networkmaster(m): 10:57am On Dec 05, 2013 |
Ken_Jak: In this case,you dont have to lie at all,you have to be completely sincere. Go to her parents to explain everything and if possible,meet with the lady to explain and if compulsory/needed,you can swear for her.e problems I am so scared and even ashame to meet her mum, i don't want them to know i have problems with her, not yet. I am hoping she wouldn't tell them. She promised she is just going to brief them we have problems and won't tell it in details. Her parents trust and love me. I am just so sorry for my evil act, i pray she have a change of mind. |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Enoquin(f): 11:06am On Dec 05, 2013 |
This technology/social media era has really released inhibitions. There comes a time when one decides not to get distracted any longer, the only problem is there is no particular age when one decides that's why you see old men still behave like young men. Pls OP that last statement is merely one of reflection. The thing to be understood is this, just as you hit on other women, other men hit on your woman. Although this is almost the same thing it is not because why the onus lies on the woman not to give in, it lies on the man not to ask in the first place. Imagine that anger and betrayal you would feel, if you saw flirty chats on her laptop. Your mind would have put up many crazy scenarios and there will be this itch to look up her phone too to know how many more hidden mysteries abide there. That is the same way she feels. She is thinking how many unclad pics you might have seen and how far you have truly gone. You are in luck though, most women cannot stay angry too long at the ones they 'love' or better still are fond of. So, it's not closing your accounts on all social media that matters, it is having those accounts and not doing 'kurukere' that matters. Give her some time like 3 days but in those 3 days send her messages. Not long mushy messages but short ones. For example, you can send 'Babe, I am so sorry' in the morning. 'Have you had lunch? Love you' in the afternoon. 'Miss you. My day was boring. Goodnight' and bla bla... ( ![]() Don't let anyone tell you different, for a relationship to succeed, one person alternatively has to play the fool. Resentment only comes in, when only one person plays the fool all the time. 5 Likes |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Nobody: 11:23am On Dec 05, 2013 |
Renylee: The trouble of social networks. U r about to get married and u still engage in silly chats^ |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Nobody: 11:30am On Dec 05, 2013 |
OP, you two are about to be married, so for her to find out you were flirting with women online and chatting with your ex must've deeply hurt her. It always hurts when someone you love and have high expectations for disappoints you. Plus, your actions were disrespectful to her. You two need to speak about your boundaries and what you are okay with. To you, your actions were harmless. To her, they were not. You wouldn't like it if she's flirting with other men online and chatting with her ex, would you? No, you wouldn't. The Golden Rule. 3 Likes |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Nobody: 11:45am On Dec 05, 2013 |
Aren't you suppose to be open to her? Had you let in on your past with those your ex, it would have been easier to rectify the issue. And besides, i think what happened is not just what spoilt everything, but it was what broke the camel's back. 1 Like |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Networkmaster(m): 11:48am On Dec 05, 2013 |
Enoquin: This technology/social media era has really released inhibitions. Many thanks dear. |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by 190: 11:50am On Dec 05, 2013 |
Networkmaster: I will go straight to the point. Ehen move all your belongings from your house into her place since na belongings be the issue ![]() |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Nobody: 12:01pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
^ Lols! |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Networkmaster(m): 12:12pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
190: Note that dear, i am tryign to let u knw how serious it is. She moved all her things out. If really want to give me a chance she would have just taken a brake and not take all her things with her. Don't u get it? |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by walakolobo: 12:21pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
great. Let her go, then hook up with one of those numerous ladies on Facebook, you aint left without choice dude. |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Saraha1(f): 1:43pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
This is serious oh. I think tou should give her some space ,let say a week or more.if she love you she will surely come back to you,best of luck. |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by GeneralShepherd(m): 1:57pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Networkmaster: Say it wasn't you! Na Shaggy sure pass now. Blame it on hackers LMAO On a serious why are you ashamed if you really thought what you did wasn't harmful? First step, do not try to give her any justification for your actions and you tried to feed us with justification on your OP 2. Tell her how sorry you are and give her space and time. The more you call her,the more manipulative you'll appear. 3. Tell her to really think about all you said(please don't try to justify your act,focus on let her know how much you love her) and that you are ready to accept her final decision. Borrow this line, 'You are the jury but yet you alone are my attorney'. Thank me later 1 Like |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by SLIDEwaxie(m): 2:20pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Lemme be mynd_44 for a minute: Accepting the fact that u are wrong is a good one, but: Move on with ur life. At least u've satisfied ur conscience by begging, and if she won't listen, that goes to show the type of beast that she is. She is not worth a wife. Move on. It doesn't seem like she's the only lady around ![]() Okay, that beiing said, i'll like to be sexkillz: My friend, u are a goat! If u say u 'love' her, u won't be having other 'female' friends around. Is she not enuff for u! i'm glad she dumped ur sorry asss. ![]() ![]() Now, lemme be 190: Give me her number and let me beg her for u. But she must agree to come visit me and we settle it in the bedroom. Lastly, lemme be SLiDE waxie: What were u saying? ![]() ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Nobody: 2:27pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
^LOL, good job. I can totally see all of them giving those responses. But you forgot 190's ever-present red font. ![]() ![]() |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by LoveDecay(m): 2:38pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
All this wahala for wife. OP. Use ur head to think, think very hard. Are you thinking ? This is a mind game. That babe also has cockroaches in her cupboard. You need to retreat before you make a complete fool of yourself. You've started already. Haba, chicks online in another country and she knows about one of them. How many of her ex.boyfriends do you know about? Is this how you guys plan to practice that temporary elation called love. Any kpakam, nah war. Can't women pull themselves together, dialogue first and if they are not satisfied with the results , take another step. Call of wedding and this man, is screaming like he lists his lifesaving in a gambling bet. Am sorry to say. Mr.man _ u are a wuss and might find it difficult to manage the affairs your home. Think. Think. Think |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by ogeoflyf(f): 2:54pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Love_Decay: All this wahala for wife. Love really decay for your side. SMH ![]() |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Ruq: 2:58pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
SLIDE waxie: Lemme be mynd_44 for a minute: include yuzedo. |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Nobody: 3:00pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Good for you. 1 Like |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Kamdi2013: 3:12pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
OP, just give her some time to cool off; she will come around if she really loves you. In the interim, you have to keep pleading with her. Most guys do this online chat just for fun; I have caught my guy twice and I have learnt to ignore these online chats. 1 Like |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by 190: 3:19pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
SLIDE waxie: Lemme be mynd_44 for a minute:
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Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by GeneralShepherd(m): 3:29pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Love_Decay: All this wahala for wife. Na wah so what the op did is right abi? Do you know the meaning of breach of breach of trust? |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Nobody: 5:33pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Don't relent in your pleas to her,try to explain things to her,and if she doesn't agree,let her be,she would come around someday. But her attitude towards what happened is disheartening,what if she has married to you,would she pack her bags? She should have let you explain,then if she isn't satisfied,she can take action. Bro,you are getting to a woman,that takes a sledge hammer to kill an ant.(Same goes to man,if you see something like this). When she comes around,try to avoid unnecessary distraction in your marriage. so as not to create a hole in your marriage. |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by Beync(f): 5:34pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Love_Decay: All this wahala for wife.nawa for u o, ur love really decay. If you know what it means to build relationship to the extent of making marriage arrangements you won't be spewing this. May be you think to get a wife na to commot for road carry roadside girl. |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by ochon: 5:56pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Love_Decay: All this wahala for wife.
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Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by SLIDEwaxie(m): 6:43pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Yield: ^LOL, good job. I can totally see all of them giving those responses. But you forgot 190's ever-present red font.*face-palm* my bad!! LoL |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by baralatie(m): 6:59pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Networkmaster:then u move urself and ur belonging in2 her place! |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by NikKYLuv1(f): 7:13pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Op dat was very bad...few wks to ur wedding nd u stil engage urself in such act, it's bad i must say. U guys hv to meet nd discuss things nd settle it wit a matured mind. |
Re: Trouble Has Brought Me Back Here On Nairaland. by 2old4that(m): 9:23pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
OP... hmm similar ordeal made me close down my Facebook for 2 yrs now. U know, u think u can always be careful. but I tell. u can't. somehow u will always be careless one day. and that's wen everything will let loose. well just give her some time while praying and texting. don't call. 1 Like |
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