Your shameless friend in lying to you.

Re read what you wrote. That sinerely makes sense to you?

@ topic

That man is a bastard! That wife should investigate. She might find out that he sold his previous family to pay her bride price!

I can't believe this.
A man would collect "shut up" money from his wife's rapist.
What an outrage!

If I were the woman,I'm never coming back
good riddance.

Dis story is suprisingly unbelievable,

d guy certainly does not have d mouth 2 ever voice out again, cos, its a matter of paying him to keep quiet!!!

I dont knw sha, bt den, dey jst ave 2 work things out, a yr of marriage n al dis calmity?! God help dem,

I don't blame her for not going back to him. I mean this is her husband, a man that is supposed to protect her from harm. And he accepts the money from the man that raped his wife? What kind of man is he I hope she divorces him, he doesn't respect her. Money means more to him than his own wife, that is God awful.

Never ever heard any quite absurd and ridiculous, . . . . . . . . . .

Now that's a man with no ounce of morals and dignity in him,

Sounds like a psychopath. . . . . . .

tell her to check the foundation of their marriage

Guys ,

Is forgiveness not an option in this matter,
Whatever happened to Love heals, ,Love covers a multitude of transgression.
Well I have been telling them (my friend and his wife) to take things easy,
sHE'S hurt (who won't be) and he needs 2 go the extra mile 2 re-assure her of his love and care,

These 2 guys have come a long way 2 let this part ,
Have I spoken well, nairalanders, pls offer your views,

Its hard if u ask me!!

But the truth is, none of the will make a better headway if the break up because of this because what God has joined together, let no man put apart,

I will want this dude 2 do all he can 2 make it up 2 his beloved, I will also ask the wife 2 find a place 2 bury this hatchet, if she ever truly loved him, and if he genuinely pleads for her to ccome back to him,


, the devil u no i better than the angel u dont see

mexy_fly:

Its hard if u ask me!!

But the truth is, none of the will make a better headway if the break up because of this because what God has joined together, let no man put apart,

I will want this dude 2 do all he can 2 make it up 2 his beloved, I will also ask the wife 2 find a place 2 bury this hatchet, if she ever truly loved him, and if he genuinely pleads for her to ccome back to him,


, the devil u no i better than the angel u don't see

How do you expect her to forgive and forget about her husband selling her? Because that is just what he did when he accepted the money.

How do you expect her to forgive and forget that her husband doubted her when she was violatated in one of the worse ways a woman can be? Because that is just what he did.

How do you expect her to forgive and forget that he told someone about this most disgusting act? Because that is just what he did when he told his friend.

How can a man ever understand what it is to be violated like this? You cant unless you walk in those shoes.

if he did not know what to do or say he should have spoken to her mother.

some marriages are just not worth saving.

in this case i think the wife must be out of her mind aaah and who wld she tell dat wld believe her,she's sick in d head meanwhile the guy must have a good excuse coz he was tryin 2 protect her 4rm hittin the court room which wld expose her shame 2 the public and such things are hard 2 overcome when it gets 2 dat level, plus the court case wld still boil down 2 moni, he's wise , she's foolish. please let her go. . . . .good riddance 2 bad rubbish

Joseph6:

in this case i think the wife must be out of her mind aaah and who would she tell that would believe her,she's sick in d head meanwhile the guy must have a good excuse because he was tryin 2 protect her from hittin the court room which would expose her shame 2 the public and such things are hard 2 overcome when it gets 2 that level, plus the court case would still boil down 2 moni, he's wise , she's foolish. please let her go. . . . .good riddance 2 bad rubbish

Exactly what was "bad" about her getting raped?

Who reported the rape to the husband? If my wife reported to me that she was raped, then I have to believe her especially if it was not like I suspected/caught her and she claimed it was rape. If I believe my wife and I agree with her to drop the matter, then I will not go ahead to collect any money without getting the woman (and the law) fully involved. If I don't believe the woman, I will be selling my soul and dignity by collecting the money. If I believe the woman, I am selling my wife, my life my dignity. so where does the money come in?

I don't think the woman overreacted by moving out of the house. If na my sista, I go help am pack her load from the house self. But, then, there is still room for forgiveness.

This is what I will tell my sister or my wife - She also must have taken some wrong steps to support/encourage the rape. She is a married woman so she should be able to know a man enough and perceive sexual advances from the man. Rape (from acquaintances ) doesn't come out of the blues. She was not drunk or serious physically injured so what are we talking about? I will need some evidence of physical injury on the woman or the assailant to believe a rape story. Otherwise you need to tell me that someone else held a gun/knife to your head/throat. That will be a good excuse for "no struggle" story.

believing her is one thing trustin her is an entirely different thing, u think any woman wld want 2 come out and claim 2 be raped , wat wld happen if its published? better accept the moni and even ask 4 more make the best of the already bad as it is more ova even if u get 2 court wat do u think the outcome wld be? u mite even be shocked dat he'd be allowed 2 go scot free and then the ur conscience wld be troubled

Im really sorry for the lady in question, but my advice is that she should not leave the husband. yes he has really blondered but remember " NO OFFENCE NO FORGIVENESS since the husband is now regretting his action let her forgive him.
Let her remember that marriage is for better and for worst, so now that the worst has happened , she should just try to forgive and forget. And look forward to a brighter future.

Can the story be real? Why on earth would a marry woman found herself in her boss bedroom? What did the woman do after the boss was "forgiven" by the husband? How did she find out about the "bribe" given to her husband? And did she continues working with boss after the rape incidence? Where is she working now? Is the boss married? If yes, what was his wife reaction?

Olanijin, this is for real,
The lady refused vehemently initially to pursue any police report or case, she said she had handled the matter via some spiritual means, that the husband shouldnt bother going 2 d police as the boss is a finished meat!!
but since he wouldnt listen to any of that he insisted she makes a report same day of the incident!!
It is 6months now and counting, she is still out of jer husbands house.
He see's her and still visits her in her parents house where she has returned to but she has refused to return home to her husband.
She says the husband should return the money as a condition to her return, she hardly calls him but he calls and even pleads her almost daily,

somehow, one begins 2 wander if she truly ever loved him in the first case. She still works in the same company though her boss has been sacked and her bosses' wife had also left his home when d matter came 2 light, as at now I do not know if she had returned 2 him, but as for this lady, she has refused to listen 2 pleas even from her husbands family to return 2 her husband,

There is hope! There is a way out. If the husband truly want her back. He can work it out. But before I contribute. Could you shed more light on whether the lady actually employed spiritual means against her boss? To the best of my know only witches and spiritualists use the word "dead meat".

Secondly, do you have influence over d lady? Or the husband? Is there anyone who have influence over the husband?

Are the two godly? What kind of r/ship is their marriage like before the bubble burst? I asked this because, it is possible the couple are not happy together in the first place.

Finally, what kind of person is the lady?

Olanajim,
I quite appreciate ur views! The husband is my very close pal I believe he lsitens to my insightful words.

The wife as he mentioned to me on a number of occassions ha been a little closer to the spiritaul. she is a xtian but she burns several candles overnight and specifically she said "mo-ti-pa- saye" a yoruba word that means I have killed him or made him useless in this world!!

As oer their marriage b4 the incidence, well a snewly weds less than 1yr at the time, I know the have been havin a lot of issues. I recall him always tellin me that his wife mother is killin their married life. she wades into everything and the wife wasnt helpin matters. she will rather discuss every issue with her mum than her husband a situation my friend said had been at d root of their many quarrels. the husband and his wifes mother never got along after their wedding.
As for the lady, well save for my friend, she is a very direct person. naive caring but also very possesive, somehow class sensitive, rigid and not very open/////////however she is of some good moral values, at least from all i know so far,

Ha! That is serious o! Please tell the husband to let the wife go! I don't see much usefulness in re-uniting with her if she is what you just said.

I think the rape case is a blessing in disguise. Let the man forget her and stop sending people to her. Two things can happen:
1. The wife would long to return to him when she is tired.
2. The two of them may part permanently, which is a blessing anyway.

He should act as a man and give her ultimatum to return home after which he should close her chapter for good. Believe me, that husband should count himself lucky. If they married in court, then let the go their way. If it is traditional, then it make thing easier.

Anyone that resort to spiritual means to settle score is dangerous. I can't even bear to live with her.

To be on the safe side, the husband must NEVER fight her again or exchange word with her. If she come to forment trouble, he should just be calm and avoid stepping on "Iya oshoronga". I am sure the lady can go to any length to deal with him if he is not careful. He must however start praying fervently to ward off any occultic attack on him.

Above all, in the light of your last post, I suggest he let sleeping dog lie. No more begging. Let her go!

But if the woman want to return, he must try and win her confidence and find way of drawing closer to her. It is not right the her mother run her home anyhow. The mother might be the one urging her to burn candles and speak like witches. The trouble with that young family is not going away after their reunion. It would remain as long as the wife continues that way. I am sorry for the man for having such creature as wife.

Morality is useless, when the heart is unforgiving, corrupt, and turbulence.

Olanajim you amaze me with ur words!!

infact to say the least, the wordings are very differnt from what i've heard from a number of persons. The truth is my friend says it is difficult for him to understand what is going on. His wife's mum being a thorn in the flesh, his wife acting wierd and a number of things!!

the fact is the way her mum harped and worded the husbands family when they came to plead for peace was outrageous. Even when they had the rights to be angry and hostile, they went on prostrating and made the husband do the same for the mother in law in the name of making upfor peace, I was there, i saw it all and its hard for me to understand how after 3months they did all that for her mum to still harbour his son-inlaws wife under these reasons. iNFACT I personaly told my friend to stop goin 2 their houseat weekends 2 see her, he should let her be. For a woman he moves out of her husbands house under these circumstances, leaves so much to openspeculations.

I've heard people say the my friend should do thanksgivin for her leavin, that she culdnt accomplishher mission and there is a lot more that meets the eye than these.

Others say the girl will simply realise so late that she is being uses/possesed orsmthg like that only 2 late

Still, my friend who is very religious says divorce is not an option that the only ground he would leave his wife is adultery or death as the bible says, not rape, !!

I have reasoned with him several times that I hardly believe what has happened was rape. First remember she said the same boss fondled her in the server room then 3months latter she claims rape, well take it or leave it, it is a difficult story 2 swallow ,

I think he should move on, all the time he calls his wife who is still in the same office, she snaps and gives him attitude on the phone, he even said he bought her cakes and cars onher birthday in August and delivered it 2 her by himself,

thanks for your opinions, infact if u feel up to it, leave a number i can reach u on and i'll arrange u talk 2 my friend.

It is nothing special. Just a grace of God. Anybody could have said the same.

Look, the case is beyond rape. You said she still works in the same office? That is unfortunate. I don't want to believe she left because of rape. She wanted to leave.

On the religious issue, I am one of those that disbelieve that only death or adultery can make a man or woman remarry after parting from his/her spouse. That law is inhuman and very faulty.

Many pastors and men of God have violated. Pastor chris okotie is an example. We have scores of people that have discountenanced it. I think your friend would bring more pains to himself if he ignore those clear warning signals. If he were my relation, I won't let him take the lady back.

My number? Oh not on the forum. But my email is on the forum. Email me and I will send you my number. I am not a phone person though. Try send me YIM.

I really feel for that guy. He need to pray hard. That lady is not for him. Couples must be ready to live together, through thick and thin. To allow an In-law to rum the home from the backyard is a sure way to kill the joy in that home.

Cheers!

Queenisha:

I can't believe this.
A man would collect "shut up" money from his wife's rapist.
What an outrage!

If I were the woman,I'm never coming back
good riddance.

na real shut up money. some people and money

That man is a useless man, he is an opportunist.
Your wife was raped and assaulted and you 'relunctantly accepted some money in exchange for your wife's glory, that is a uselessly useless of a man, and now his friend is talking about love, where was the love, when he accepted the money? such a man shd cover his face in shame, so now that he has got the money, let him stay married to the money now, and to make matter worse, The man wasnt thinking right at the moment of collecting the money, so he didnt tell me wife of the money, but he was thinking right when he extended the hands to take the money, useless monkey.

For the boss, he shd be jailed, the wife can still sue him, cos the money wasnt paid to her, and she knows nothing about the money and for him to now start talking about the man and the woman plan to extort money from him? what a loser? u raped a woman and you have the balls to talk? he shuold be in jail for a long time.

better still lock the husband and the boss together in one cell.

This is a case of a rich man slapping a poor woman, na Nija now, na money e go take, what a sad thing