Hello everyone

I've had this issue for as long as I can remember, it started after an unfortunate event took place BTW a girl and I

we were young and careless and we got hooked, the family got involved and took care if the issue, but ever since then, I've bin trying to feel a sense of emotion and I fail at each trial, what is wrong with me, pls help

Love is like every other emotion; something I can't truly understand because I just can't feel it. But like every other emotion, except sorrow,I'm good at faking it, giving the response I know is correct despite not feeling it

I want to be able to handle a relationship like everybody else, not keep faking emotions that are not there, I want to feel the care and importance of a woman, a lover, a romantic affair, I can't keep living this way, what is wring with me and how can I live for love?

Okay.

So what's the problem / issue?

just as efemena said,state the issue and we know where it itches you.

I want to be able to handle a relationship like everybody else, not keep faking emotions that are not there, I want to feel the care and importance of a woman, a lover, a romantic affair, I can't keep living this way, what is wring with me and how can I live for love?

True love isn't forced.

There's nothing you can do except be yourself and let it happen naturally.

Efemena_xy: True love isn't forced.

There's nothing you can do except be yourself and let it happen naturally.

Your right but how would I ever find such true love when am devoid of emotions, I've met girls, a lot of them, the desire to be with them heighten at the thought of lusting over them, but as soon as the thought fades away, so does the need for them, I go back to being who I am

hang out with people,appreciate people the things around you.open your heart.
#my lil advise,the mature ones can tell you better#

majour: Hello everyone

I've had this issue for as long as I can remember, it started after an unfortunate event took place BTW a girl and I

we were young and careless and we got hooked, the family got involved and took care if the issue, but ever since then, I've bin trying to feel a sense of emotion and I fail at each trial, what is wrong with me, pls help

Love is like every other emotion; something I can't truly understand because I just can't feel it. But like every other emotion, except sorrow,I'm good at faking it, giving the response I know is correct despite not feeling it

I want to be able to handle a relationship like everybody else, not keep faking emotions that are not there, I want to feel the care and importance of a woman, a lover, a romantic affair, I can't keep living this way, what is wring with me and how can I live for love?

Explain the bolded bit.

If you want specific advice, try to be a bit more specific about your issue rather than generalising - else you'll get a generalised response.

Efemena_xy:

Explain the bolded bit.

If you want specific advice, try to be a bit more specific about your issue rather than generalising - else you'll get a generalised response.

Well, what happened BTW us was something I never thought possible, she got preg and we were quite young, so the family had to step in and find a solution if u know what I mean, BT that event changed me, made me cold, I lost every reason to feel, well that's that, can't go further

^^ How old are you? (no offence intended).

And do you still have feelings for this other girl (your ex)?

majour: Your right but how would I ever find such true love when am devoid of emotions, I've met girls, a lot of them, the desire to be with them heighten at the thought of lusting over them, but as soon as the thought fades away, so does the need for them, I go back to being who I am

The bolded bit of your post there - what do you mean?

Look, it's getting cumbersome and quite frankly a bit irritating having to wax straight answers from you.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you saying that initially, when you meet girls, the desire to be with them / lusting after them soon fades away after you've gone the whole mile with them? i.e: slept with them? Afterwards you revert to how you previously were (hence that emptiness inside of you)?

If that's the case, then it's quite clear that you're not yet over the girl who got pregnant for you (this is why I ask what your age is). Whatever it was the truly happened between you both, you're still not yet over her. Give yourself time to grieve. These things take time and there are no hard and fast rules about how long it takes (or should take) a broken heart to heal.

The reason why you feel nothing substantial towards these other girls you meet is because you're trying to force a relationship on the rebound. It'll never work and secretly within your heart of hearts, you'll be comparing each and everyone of those girls with your ex.

How old were you both when she fell pregnant and how long ago was this?

its no big deal, am BTW 25-27, and no I don't love her anymore BT we still speak

^^ My post's been edited. Read the additional bits and respond.

Efemena_xy: ^^ My post's been edited. Read the additional bits and respond.

Love ur reasoning, well we were young, I wud say 20 or 21 so abt 5 or 6years ago, and yes when am done with the whole lusting over in girls I tend to feel absolutely nothing for them, the need for them seizes to exist.

and pertaining me loving my ex, no I don't think thats true cus I don't, there is indeed a large hole in me, I pray to feel it cus deep inside me I feel alone, empty, u get me now aii

Hmmm . . . Spiritual wife tinzz

@op : YOU ARE FINISHED !

GBAM!

Huffin & puffin

i-smoke-weed:
Hmmm . . . Spiritual wife tinzz

@op : YOU ARE FINISHED !

GBAM!

Huffin & puffin

Lols, let's hook up, drop ur digits

majour: Lols, let's hook up, drop ur digits

So that you will go 'all the way' with me and later lose 'your way' ?

No thanx

I rather smoke weed

majour: Love ur reasoning, well we were young, I wud say 20 or 21 so abt 5 or 6years ago, and yes when am done with the whole lusting over in girls I tend to feel absolutely nothing for them, the need for them seizes to exist.

and pertaining me loving my ex, no I don't think thats true cus I don't, there is indeed a large hole in me, I pray to feel it cus deep inside me I feel alone, empty, u get me now aii

Sometimes in life, when we go through unpleasant experiences, we subconsciously try to avoid getting hurt next time. Different people react in different ways. Some try to mentally block out the entire episode, some on the other hand 'harden' their hearts.

I think you fall into the latter category. You don't want to be hurt again so you've built a defensive wall around your heart and this manifests itself in an 'I don't care' attitude. For the moment, what you're doing is having your physical needs met by these girls but emotionally, you've still got scars that are yet to heal - and until they heal completely, you won't be able to feel 'love' like you did when you were younger.

Again, reiterating my earlier advice to you - give yourself time to heal. You can't force this. One thing though. You say you're over your ex but you're still in touch with her? How come?

Have you considered cutting off all ties / forms of communication with her? I know you'll probably say you being able to discuss amicably with her is proof that you're totally over her - but why do you need that proof?

Cut her off and if after doing that, you don't feel any guilt / yearning to hear her voice on the phone or receive any text messages from her...basically, if you still feel indifferent - then yes, you're well and truly over her. I'm suggesting you do this because until you've done it, you'll never completely let go of your past. Don't let your past hold your future happiness to ransom.

In the meantime, be sure to practise safe sex.

It is well.

Advice: take a break from women,and go look for where you kept your emotions,which you obviously lost,and free the guilt perhaps,you know the pregnacy ish,got to you real bad.
*no need telling me,,,,the baby was aborted*

Efemena_xy:

Sometimes in life, when we go through unpleasant experiences, we subconsciously try to avoid getting hurt next time. Different people react in different ways. Some try to mentally block out the entire episode, some on the other hand 'harden' their hearts.

I think you fall into the latter category. You don't want to be hurt again so you've built a defensive wall around your heart and this manifests itself in an 'I don't care' attitude. For the moment, what you're doing is having your physical needs met by these girls but emotionally, you've still got scars that are yet to heal - and until they heal completely, you won't be able to feel 'love' like you did when you were younger.

Again, reiterating my earlier advice to you - give yourself time to heal. You can't force this. One thing though. You say you're over your ex but you're still in touch with her? How come?

Have you considered cutting off all ties / forms of communication with her? I know you'll probably say you being able to discuss amicably with her is proof that you're totally over her - but why do you need that proof?

Cut her off and if after doing that, you don't feel any guilt / yearning to hear her voice on the phone or receive any text messages from her...basically, if you still feel indifferent - then yes, you're well and truly over her. I'm suggesting you do this because until you've done it, you'll never completely let go of your past. Don't let your past hold your future happiness to ransom.

In the meantime, be sure to practise safe sex.

It is well.

thanx alot

I just said goodbye to an old friend a few days ago because of this kind of emotional disconnection.
I have known him for over 20 years. He has a hard time committing to women and he can't keep FRIENDS!!!. Despite all kinds of therapies and FAKING it, he is still alone. His out-of-wedlock children are grown and out of the house.

Come to find out he was ABANDONED by his father and 6 of his siblings.

He was left to raise himself practically. He has never been able to 'love and trust' again.
Psychologically, the residual hurt and paranoia cannot allow him to open his heart to any woman.
He is almost sixty and lives alone.

It is a way of life for many raised without an emotional bearing. Out of the 7, only the last of them still remains MARRIED.

You need to examine your circumstances and accept the realities of what lies beneath your inner psyche.

All the best!

Kanwulia: I just said goodbye to an old friend a few days ago because of this kind of emotional disconnection.
I have known him for over 20 years. He has a hard time committing to women and he can't keep FRIENDS!!!. Despite all kinds of therapies and FAKING it, he is still alone. His out-of-wedlock children are grown and out of the house.

Come to find out he was ABANDONED by his father and 6 of his siblings.

He was left to raise himself practically. He has never been able to 'love and trust' again.
Psychologically, the residual hurt and paranoia cannot allow him to open his heart to any woman.
He is almost sixty and leaves alone.

It is a way of life for many raised without an emotional bearing. Out of the 7, only the last of them still remains MARRIED.

You need to examine your circumstances and accept the realities of what lies beneath your inner psyche.

All the best!

eeehhhheeeen kanwulia,mgbeketoto,calloti di halloti,mama chi chi so you can be this sober and serious?

jesus is lord.

Ashe kosieyan ti olorun ole yi pada

i am suprised o

It is simply because of Trauma .

U have lived a solitary live as a kid or Youth Or you have been despised which made you to reclined to yourself and work things out on your own without feeling the need for Other's intervention !!


U are suffering from ''Early Rejection Syndrome'' and your chemistry has resolved ''NO one can fill YOU BUT Yourself'' therefore,U don't feel like needing anybody to get there !


U need a Psycho to retract your mentality and its InBuilt Chemistry back to Normalcy all the same U can't do it alone unless U are with peeps that love U for real e.g GF,mum,dad,bro or sis ............ Without peeps that love you by your side, PsychoTheraphy won't work On you, the best that would happened is ''Trauma Management'' which is Temporary Solution and Not Permanent !

The processes shall begin with evaluating certain issues in your History .... BlahBlahBlah !


What is your status in life ? Are U satisfied ?

How easily do U bored yourself ?

How much do You need to be with People ?

Do U think they respect,regard and really wanna be with you too ?

Do U think You are loved for real ?

Op, how many times do U Masturbate in a Day ? ........... Do U feel fulfilled afterward ? ....

Do U feel Insecured ?


Those questions when properly evaluated can resolve your issues and return your life back to Normalcy !

donroxy: It is simply because of Trauma .

U have lived a solitary live as a kid or Youth Or you have been despised which made you to reclined to yourself and work things out on your own without feeling the need for Other's intervention !!


U are suffering from ''Early Rejection Syndrome'' and your chemistry has resolved ''NO one can fill YOU BUT Yourself'' therefore,U don't feel like needing anybody to get there !


U need a Psycho to retract your mentality and its InBuilt Chemistry back to Normalcy all the same U can't do it alone unless U are with peeps that love U for real e.g GF,mum,dad,bro or sis ............ Without peeps that love you by your side, PsychoTheraphy won't work On you, the best that would happened is ''Trauma Management'' which is Temporary Solution and Not Permanent !

The processes shall begin with evaluating certain issues in your History .... BlahBlahBlah !


What is your status in life ? Are U satisfied ?

How easily do U bored yourself ?

How much do You need to be with People ?

Do U think they respect,regard and really wanna be with you too ?

Do U think You are loved for real ?

Op, how many times do U Masturbate in a Day ? ........... Do U feel fulfilled afterward ? ....

Do U feel Insecured ?


Those questions when properly evaluated can resolve your issues and return your life back to Normalcy !

hmmm, quite an interesting view, thanx for ur piece, wud look up to it