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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Hubby Won't Talk To Me. (43669 Views)
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Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by tintingz(m): 9:41pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
RoyPCain: @laeroy; there is no evidence that christianity is the original way of the igbos or it is anomaly for igbo to become muslim. my wife is igbo and she is a muslim. and i encourage her to speak all the languages the knows. i happily introduce her to igbos and tell them to carry on in their language, because it is me she wants and no igbo man can get her. laeroy, it is a benefit for you to become muslim because your benefit extend to hereafter when there will be great Mercy from the One Who can show appreciation. unfortunately, men or individuals like the husband of shoeracks are the bad eggs of men, muslim or not, igbos or not.Well said brotha. You sound like Sweetnecta are you by any means the handle? |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Nobody: 9:42pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
IfyChuky: To hav had a 2nd Wife Shows how much he does lurv u. . That is the question these pro polygamy folks can't answer Have you noticed that you never see a woman advocating polygamy It is always the males telling us how great it can be managed Great for who? For him or her? What does a first wife IMHO the only legitimate wife gain from polygamy? Absolutely nothing I don't give a hoot about the extra wives Infact anyone that comes in willingly to be a second wife,I hope she gets replaced with a third,4th ,5th until the 10th wife If this OP had been the second wife,she would have regretted opening this thread I for show am Is there any man that wakes up and says to himself,wow I love my wife so much,she is the woman of my dreams,I just need to tell her how much I love her then to prove it he runs out and gets a second wife It never happens Second wives come as a result of infidelity emotional or physical Most times They don chop am taya for outside ,give am belle sef and say what the heck Let me make it official,anyone that doesn't like it can quench How many threads have we had here where a woman killed her co wife or killed her husband about to marry another wife |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by IYANGBALI: 9:44pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
crazymommy: stop bringing ethnicity into a marriage issue,a man that will mis-behave will mis-behave,come to my office and see different husbands and wives coming for counselling and let me shock u most of them are even from the same tribe or religion,so its not marrying someone from ur state or someone from ur tribe that determines the success of a marriage lets stop bringing ethnic differences and tribe into this issue,just drop ur advice and leave the op alone,stop acting like you are a perfect lady,she might have made a mistake then if u want to scold her scold her and give her good advice and not just scolding her and leave just because u want to talk.i never insulted u but u can dare insult me and see if i will not make your tongue touch ur nose.pls where is your office I need to see you urgently |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by radiosocial: 9:47pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
You are very lucky my sister. I broke my marraige because I prefer to keep a very happy face when my wife hurts me, she mistook this for weakness and started behaving as if she was the man. She goes out and comes in whenever she likes without a single trouble from me...I will even beg to let us talk things over to put the relationship back on track but she will tell me the marraige is over between us. I was acting like I wanted the realationship, in actual sense I was praying for a divine peaceful break which eventually arrives. Mind you I wasn't dating anyone. She eventually pack some of her things and left, she went as far as SA. Meanwhile she had no issues for me and after six months she came back begging. That was the time I let out my anger and laughed at her to go back to where she was coming...she thought it a joke. A year after I got myself a damsel who is worth more than the whole gold in this world to me. Be careful and deal with your man with respect...the hard moment will fade away soon but don't let the dust of present difficulties deprive you your man. 1 Like |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by CHoccolaTE: 9:48pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
tintingz: LOL, a fool talking to a fool Your using ad hominems don't change the fact that she was telling the truth. The truth remains that: 1. Muhammed married up to 11 wives and commanded muslims to marry only 4. 2. His wives were jealous of each other and had conflicts. 3. Muhammed favoured some of his wives over others for instance when the other wives sent Zainab to complain to Muhammed that he was spending too much time with Aisha then Muhammed claimed that he spends time with her because Islamic revelations always come to him when he is on Aisha's bed, Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 47, Number 755 |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Nobody: 9:52pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
only an ignorant muslim abuses his mate so much so that she is talking about it to the public. the prophet [SA] said people like that are not from us. i pity the wife that is a convert, new to islam and Allah says to be patient with those type and husbands should be patient with their mates. @shoeracks; tell him to show you where in the Quran or hadith he is justified to demand for you not to speak your language and you will as a muslim woman take it. ask him to show you where Allah says he should abuse you and you will take the abuse. request to see the hadith where the prophet [SA] mistreated any of his wives and you will accept any mistreatment from him. demand that if he is truly a muslim, he should show the best quality that islam demands from husband to his wife, you in the case. or you may actually be an advocate for your sister, the other wife. You should tell him to fear Allah and know that He sees everything. and it is forbidden to hit anyone in the face. and no man should hit his spouse and she can feel that she has been struck. please don't do 3 some as suggest because it is not permitted for one woman to witness the reaction of another or see her nudity. |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Nobody: 9:55pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
Decryptor: . There are many Yoruba Muslim men who are monogamous Babatunde Mr Sex.y Fashola is one of them I have insisted that using religion as a cover for polygamy does not fly with me I agree it is more prevalent about Yorubas in the south but you have no proof where this poster and her man are from I have friends who are Turkish and Egyptian Muslims married to one wife In some Muslim countries,polygamy is a criminal offence So this is not about Islam It is about an excuse for bad behavior Their prophet sef was monogamous for a long time till he wanted to eat Ofe Owerre and couldn't stop to eat oha and nsala soup and others Once you start to wonder,you won't stop at 4 and he proved it |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by CHoccolaTE: 9:56pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
RoyPCain: How do you guys do child birth then? |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by tintingz(m): 10:05pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
[CHocolaTE:Mohammed(sa) was loved by the people that he help the widows, he married them. and commanded muslims to marry only 4.Allah command muslim men to marry 4 wives or stick to one, Mohammed(sa) was an example of a family man to the people so he married the widows who there husband were killed during wars. http://www.islamcan.com/common-questions-about-islam/why-did-the-prophet-muhammad-marry-many-wives.shtml This will help ^^ 2. His wives were jealous of each other and had conflicts.There is a chapter in Quran where Allah corrected them. Like brotha Roy said Jealousy doesn't mean hating on each other it is just worrying about what is special to you. 3. Muhammed favoured some of his wives over others for instance when the other wives sent Zainab to complain to Muhammed that he was spending too much time with Aisha then Muhammed claimed that he spends time with her because Islamic revelations always come to him when he is on Aisha's bed, [s]Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 47, Number 755[/s]LOL is this an hadith or what?? Mohammed(sa) treated his wives equally. |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Sunshinelady(f): 10:06pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
ileobatojo: When he fights you, he goes to her, when he fights her, he comes to you.. u funi die |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Dxpolymath(m): 10:09pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
I wud wanna subscribe to d idea dat ur husband is mad @ u for other reasons other dan dat of language.chek urself well and ur family if therz or was any standin beef btw ur family and him or maybe he was forced or askd to do somfin he probably wudnt do normally.and he feels d best way to get bak @ dem is by hurtin u and hence d language issue cos he probably dosnt wanna hear their voice @all sef.....just my opinion. |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Nobody: 10:09pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
tintingz: Mohammed(sa) was loved by the people that he help the widows, he married them. Which widows? He took his adopted son's wife,was she a widow? He made a woman a widow by killing her husband and brother them slept with her the same day dat one na widow too Women captured as war booties PleasE!! http://wikiislam.net/wiki/List_of_Muhammads_Wives_and_Concubines |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by omiobo: 10:11pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
Mynd_44: Childish husband. He drops money for food and refuses to eat. SmhThat's the best way to deal with a stubborn woman. Are u married? If no,then you need to start thinking of strategies to deal with your woman when she start thinking and acting like Esau. |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Nobody: 10:13pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
@[CHocolaTE]; is 3 some like childbirth? come on, woman. scholars make mistakes. for sincere effort, he gets 1 unit of reward. if he is correct [correction is in the Quran and Sunnah 'authentic hadith'], he gets double. i remembered when my wife and I were negotiating our contract. she demanded that i should not beat her. i was shocked that she would even imagine that i will be hard on a flower like her. i guess it is the nigerian thing. Islam transcend race, tribe, ethnicity. and since there is no adoption in Islam, like no interest in Islam, both were cancelled out using the household of the prophet [SA]. and the wife or daughter that sleeps with the one whose troop killed her me shows that she knows the man is head and shoulders above the dead family. every true prophet [AS] of God was better than the people of their time. Alhumma Sally alla sayiddena Muhammad [SA]. 1 Like |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by omiobo: 10:17pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
Chillisauce:Op,don't mind this poster. He wants to ruin your marriage. Keep begging,I think he is a type who finds difficult to bounce back from anger. If you have tried all you could,try the last weapon,"seduction". He will sure come for you. |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Nobody: 10:17pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
Decryptor: . They are both Muslims from different tribes That is all we know She could be from Auchi She could be Igbirra or Idoma We don't know |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by victorlexa(m): 10:18pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
tintingz: Mohammed(sa) was loved by the people that he help the widows, he married them.. So he helped d widows by marrying dem nd wer dey 11? |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Sunshinelady(f): 10:18pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
Baby mama:. Wonderful, wonderful points. But I don't agree wit option 2.5 though , but option 2 is superb. Shoerack, I don't knw how u can call a man who stopped u from youth service 'a gud man' 1 Like |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by mayorall(m): 10:18pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
shoerack6: Madam your husby doesn't understand this language, he uses ideas. He believes you can be using the language to cheat under his nose. Please accept his terms andlet peace reign. Op don't be angry you must be stubborn thats why your husby uses silence to punish you. Please seat him down and let him know you will change and malice is a sin. Please preach to him even if you dont know how to. Thanks. 1 Like |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Decryptor(m): 10:20pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
Baby mama:Please read the story well. She is ibo who got converted to islam after she married the monkey! Stop trying to cover up. 1 Like |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by cola: 10:20pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
SMH.... a wife comes to a public forum to report her husband and seek advice... and with no chance of hearing (knowing) the other party's side of the story... everyone goes out calling the man all sorts of names... insecure, foolish, wicked, childish, tribalist, even monkey..... the OP must be happy now! it would seem the op is not letting out everything, and maybe rightly so... but then it would be unfair to give advice and pass judgments in matters we don't have all the facts and details of... and worse still to 'crucify' a party whose side of the story we don't have. @OP I wish you the best of advice. May God help you and your spouse. |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Nobody: 10:21pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
Sunshine lady: . Wonderful, wonderful points. But I don't agree wit option 2.5 though , but option 2 is superb. Shoerack, I don't knw how u can call a man who stopped u from youth service 'a gud man' A man that won't talk to her for weeks,that won't eat her food or be husbandly,even threatens to slap her because she speaks her language with her people She kneels to beg for I hr straight and he commands her to get out of his face Sometimes she walks in to beg and he walks out What type of example is she showing her children? Let her go out there and find herself a man to make her happy and stop this almajiri behavior He is already making himself happy while she is miserable There is no chance he will have her as the one and only,chances are that he will get a new wife or mistress She should find a man on the side and she won't miss his affection that much since he obviously has no need of hers That is my advice for people in plural marriages He has other women,go get you another man Cunny man die cunny woman bury am |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by thehunted(m): 10:28pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
Kai,women dey suffer o. I fear for my sisters. 1 Like |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Decryptor(m): 10:32pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
cola: SMH....We don't need the other party's story. He is a møгøn and a bigot! Imagine a man opening his smelly mouth to tell the woman he married not to be speaking her language in his presence. What did he expect when he married her in the first place? For her to communicate with members of her family with latin? I swear, if i was the OP's brother or relation and had access to the fool, i'd put sniper in his food! Nonsense! And he even calls himself a muslim? Anyway, not surprised! SMH! 2 Likes |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Nobody: 10:33pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
@victorlexa; if the husband of shoerack6 were to emulate the prophet [SA] she will not be here complaining to anyone. widows are people, too and only noble soul can consider them and will not have all the negative opinion about them needing a mate. Muhammad [SA] happened to be that noblest of sous. i guess since the husband is a born muslim and shoerack6 is a revert and an igbo, its an open season on Islam, and sheniqua, aka osisi/baby mama is leading the charge. watch out there is a pit ahead and its big enough to bury a herd of bull elephants. why am i warning you of the doom? islam will not let me let you throw yourselves face forward. 1 Like |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by CHoccolaTE: 10:34pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
tintingz:My point was that Muhammed's polygamy made his wives jealous and miserable to the point that they quarelled with each other. Why did Allah endorse a practice that makes women so unhappy? There is no woman that likes polygamy, don't let anyone decieve you, it's just not possible. The only instance where a woman will be happy with polygamy is if she has absolutely no love in her heart for her husband. LOL is this an hadith or what?? Mohammed(sa) treated his wives equally. You don't know your religion ba? Yes it's an hadith, biko let me quote it; Narrated ‘Urwa from ‘Aisha: The wives of Allah's Apostle were in two groups. One group consisted of 'Aisha, Hafsa, Safiyya and Sauda; and the other group consisted of Um Salama and the other wives of Allah's Apostle. The Muslims knew that Allah’s Apostle loved ‘Aisha, so if any of them had a gift and wished to give to Allah's Apostle, he would delay it, till Allah’s Apostle had come to ‘Aisha's home and then he would send his gift to Allah’s Apostle in her home. The group of Um Salama discussed the matter together and decided that Um Salama should request Allah's Apostle to tell the people to send their gifts to him in whatever wife’s house he was. Um Salama told Allah’s Apostle of what they had said, but he did not reply. Then they (those wives) asked Um Salama about it. She said, "He did not say anything to me." They asked her to talk to him again. She talked to him again when she met him on her day, but he gave no reply. When they asked her, she replied that he had given no reply. They said to her, "Talk to him till he gives you a reply." When it was her turn, she talked to him again. He then said to her, "Do not hurt me regarding Aisha, AS THE DIVINE INSPIRATIONS DO NOT COME TO ME ON ANY OF THE BEDS EXCEPT THAT OF AISHA." On that Um Salama said, "I repent to Allah for hurting you." Then the group of Um Salama called Fatima, the daughter of Allah’s Apostle and sent her to Allah’s Apostle to say to him, "Your wives request to treat them and the daughter of Abu Bakr ON EQUAL TERMS." Then Fatima conveyed the message to him. The Prophet said, "O my daughter! Don’t you love whom I love?" She replied in the affirmative and returned and told them of the situation. They requested her to go to him again but she refused. They then sent Zainab bint Jahsh who went to him AND USED HARSH WORDS SAYING, "Your wives request you TO TREAT THEM and the daughter of Ibn Abu Quhafa ON EQUAL TERMS." On that she raised her voice AND ABUSED ‘Aisha TO HER FACE so much so that Allah’s Apostle looked at ‘Aisha to see whether she would retort. ‘Aisha started replying to Zainab till she silenced her. The Prophet then looked at ‘Aisha and said, "She is really the daughter of Abu Bakr." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 47, Number 755) |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Sweetlemon(f): 10:35pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
See how people are lamenting over the OP being in a polygamous marriage. Lol! Most of us women are sharing our men one way or the other! That's the painful reality. The only thing about polygamy is that it's in your face. I don't look down on women who choose to marry polygamous men. I will just advice that the man must be mature enough to be able to handle his women well and also she must check the behaviour of her co-wives and be sure that the man is not the kind to marry or tolerate troublesome women. He should be able to allow his wives freedom to do business or pursue careers or anything that will make them feel valuable. He should also be mature enough to respect his wives and not make other wives feel too bad if he has a favourite wife (they always have favourites!) by compensating them with other things. Of course he needs to be rich too. As in rich! Nothing like potentials here o o! Unless you are the first wife. Why suffer with a man when you won't be the only one to enjoy the fruits later? Mtcheeew. The OP didn't check for all these and that why she's in this mess now. Sorry my dear. But from the looks of things, you need a divorce..... 1 Like |
Re: Hubby Won't Talk To Me. by Decryptor(m): 10:36pm On Jan 03, 2014 |
Baby mama:Seconded! Now you are talking like you should. Only that it seems to me that the OP's husband might have charmed her. |
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