hi people,  i need ya take on this

i met a girl recently like 4 months ago. i got her number and started calling her. we became quite fond pf each other and we like each other. she calls regularly now and sends me txt messages. we talk , hangout and spend time 2geda.
i really like this girl nd i know she likes me so i decided to ask her what she thinks about what we have. as in to define the relationship so i know what's goin onand she said we are just friends!!

i think i'm in lov wit this girl but she wants to stay as friends. i can't be a friend without thinking about her as a lover,

what do i do?

go and jump into river ocean

Sometimes a girl will say she just wants to be friends when presented with a question like that because she does not know where you stand.

Women dont care to put it on the line until they know the guy wants more.  So have you told her that you want more?

Have you told her how feel yet?
I mean if you tell her how you feel
She might see what you are talking about
And begin to consider that she might
Actually like you in that why too.

Seriously I don't know. Girls are different. Her "we are just friends" could mean she's playing hard to get or something else altogether. Have you really made your decisions clear? If you are waiting for her to say she's into you by your "define the relationship" question, you might wait till thy kingdom come.

disturbed:

hi people,  i need ya take on this

i met a girl recently like 4 months ago. i got her number and started calling her. we became quite fond pf each other and we like each other. she calls regularly now and sends me txt messages. we talk , hangout and spend time 2geda.
i really like this girl nd i know she likes me so i decided to ask her what she thinks about what we have. as in to define the relationship so i know what's goin onand she said we are just friends!!

i think i'm in lov wit this girl but she wants to stay as friends. i can't be a friend without thinking about her as a lover,

what do i do?

Why not appreciate being her friend first?

A sensible girl with not allow herself to be rushed into sex.

Do not see her as a sex object.

You may no longer appreciate her again after sleeping with her.

See her as a GOOD FRIEND and even help her to be a BETTER FRIEND.

What will be yours will be yours.

In fact, in my own case, she was the one who wanted us to be lovers and I made her wait for months.

Lovers come and go, but friends are forever.

@ poster

I will give u a simple advice, Give her sometime to figure her self out, lets say 2weeks,if she is not communicating anything, introduce another gurl to her as ur fiance/gurlfriend, then watch her reactions

disturbed:

hi people, i need ya take on this

i met a girl recently like 4 months ago. i got her number and started calling her. we became quite fond pf each other and we like each other. she calls regularly now and sends me txt messages. we talk , hangout and spend time 2geda.
i really like this girl nd i know she likes me so i decided to ask her what she thinks about what we have. as in to define the relationship so i know what's goin onand she said we are just friends!!

i think i'm in lov wit this girl but she wants to stay as friends. i can't be a friend without thinking about her as a lover,

what do i do?

Lay all ur cards on the table for her. . . . . . At this point, u got nuthing to lose.
If she plays ball(fyne), if she refuses ur offer. . . . .Move on.
There are many pebbles on the beach.

Another unfortunate soul trying to jump ladders. . . if you try it you shall be cast into the abyss!

My advice is for you to simply jump into the abyss yourself or remain on the friend ladder and admire from afar.

Ladder Theory

see me see question oooooooooooooo,
what are u xpecting her 2 say,if u are waiting 4 her 2 say yes u go wait ugo tire,
that's my problem wit ladies, they will never say yes
their reply will be; we can just be friends, friends and nothing more, as if say we be enemy b4
some will even tell u there is someone else or they are engaged whereas they are not

debosky:

Another unfortunate soul trying to jump ladders. . . if you try it you shall be cast into the abyss!

My advice is for you to simply jump into the abyss yourself or remain on the friend ladder and admire from afar.

Ladder Theory

That was hilarious!!!!

Why keep a female friend around when u got mad feenings for her??
Better u delete her contact if she's got no benefits to offer.

I've tried to tell her how i feel in little ways. i really dont want to scare her away so i'm careful about how i reveal how i feel to her.
she's the best girl i've ever met. .so i dont wanna ruin things.
we spoke on the phone until 4 am this morning, i just saw her off to her place this afternoon.
i really like her and i dont wanna scare her. .and i dont want to be just her friend. .

You have to tell the girl, I am sure that she feels the same for you. If she is spending all of that time with you talking and seeing you she is waiting for you to make the first move.

By telling you she sees you as a friend she is protecting herself incase you are not really feeling her.

@sistawoman
thanks a lot. .
wld muster every ounce of confidence i've got. .
she gotta know,

but wat if? wat if there's a slight possibility she really sees me as a friend?

u've got to tell her how u really feel and trust me since she's giving u all dat attention and all, dat chic like u dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. so u guys need to do a lot of talking.

disturbed:

@sistawoman
thanks a lot. .
would muster every ounce of confidence i've got. .
she gotta know,

but what if? what if there's a slight possibility she really sees me as a friend?

then you hang back and be her friend.  If you are really feeling her like that then just do as she asks and see where it takes you.  But for real the girl is showing the signs from what you have written here that she is open and ready for you to step out there so she can catch you.

Women dont like to be the aggressor.  We like to be chased and we put the signals out there for yall to catch on and when you dont it will crush us and disappoint us to the point that when you finally see it we are no longer interested.

So jump on it quick before her ego gets crushed.

i can see u are truely disturbed but truth is girls find it difficult to say the word, just continue as been her friend, and keep spending time with her, from play, you guys will move to the real thing, just like that. you dnt need to ask her again. she likes you.

smooooooth:

i can see u are truely disturbed but truth is girls find it difficult to say the word, just continue as been her friend, and keep spending time with her, from play, you guys will move to the real thing, just like that. you dnt need to ask her again. she likes you.

i dont need 2 ask her?
we should just go on and on like that? and hope everything clicks?

thats just it, these days ladies trying not to act cheap, will opt for a structured friendship and then finally u guys consummate it on your bed later.
in other words, modern girls will rather see a love relationship as friendship, which infact is the main and real thing guys look for, so indirectly or directly, however u want to take it,this girl don fall for u since, just be bold and do the things u will do if she had said a YES.

disturbed:

i don't need 2 ask her?
we should just go on and on like that? and hope everything clicks?

If you do that she will move her feelings from romantic to friendship. Listen to him if you want but he is a man like you. I am a woman and so are the other females here. We can tell you what goes on in our minds.

I have done it myself. We dont want to step out there until yall do.

smooth
girls are different. .
some girls would prefer a guy who starts out as a friend, gradually, they become closer and closer and without the guy offically askingher out, they both know they are already dating.
But some other girls might prefer a by the book kinda. where the guy meets her, he calls her, then he asks her out officially and she says yes. .
so how would our bro here know wat kinda girl she is?

dont confuse the guy more than he already is,

disturbed
sistawoman looks like she knows wat she's saying.
let this girl know how u feel.
let it be official . .no hidden stuvzz
just muster all the confidence u can gather like you said. .

Hannibal:

Lay all your cards on the table for her. . . . . . At this point, u got nuthing to lose.
If she plays ball(fyne), if she refuses your offer. . . . .Move on.
There are many pebbles on the beach.

i disagree with the pebbles part,but its true just let her know wat you feel, maybe she was scared of admittin how she feels 4 u cos she thinks you dont feel the same. take it like a man!

first for poster:
Like most people here have said, tell her how you feel. Make the first move and see her reaction. Dont be dismayed if she says no or she wants u to be just friends. Wait for her. Give her time and enjoy what you have as friends.

for some posters:
Y do we always equate going into a relationship with sex. Im not trying to sound righteous or anything but I do think that that a guy asks a girl for something more serious than friendship should not be equated to time to start having sex by either party.
Thats my take anyways. I wont say more than that.

Not every news behind a relationship is about sex.get dat right

disturbed
like i said before, tell her how u feel already, and see how she reacts. .

@ phanthom

U c urself ur first comment 4 nairaland na 2 insult person.

my guy, tell her how u feel, else someone else will beat u to it.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. and if she doesnt see u in that light now or in the future move on

u will just become ''FRIEND''. The earlier the better b4 ur present relation ship becomes ï love you like a brother".

Maybe she's already in a r/ship