onyinye2:

Pull him close
Look his straight
In the eye
And say
"You see i really need this done,
And i would really appreciate it
If you did it for me now"
That is what i think would work

But if he still doesn't do it
I would resort back to my
Old ways of getting things
Done. . . .

sistawoman:

I like your approach but what if the response is for you to wait and the time he wants you to wait is too long? What do you do then? How do you get him to do it sooner? Is that even possible?

rampant:

sistawoman don't tell me you're d nagging type?

topup:

This is the secret which I always tell my friends,

If you give a man what he wants, and you satisfy him, emotional, physically, (and other things ), he will start to want to please you, without nagging at all.

If you bring it up to him and he ignores you, keep playing his game, then usually the conscience comes in, and he'll think 'how can I please this wonderful woman of mine?' and he'll remember what you said, OR he'll come and ask you.

It's seen as sucking in your pride, and it truly is, want to be pleased? Please your man first. I hate this, because it sounds SO against all the equal rights we have worked for, but it truly is that way.

My dad has told me a million times, men are selfish and tend to think about themselves a lot, so if you give them what they need to be happy, they will soon start seeking for the things that makes the person sustaining them, also happy.

I think this is also the secret to any good marriage.

sistawoman:

And when you have done all of this and this is still not working?

onyinye2:

Topup, I hate you for this
Gosh i hate admit it but it true
Easiest way to get what you want
Is to please him
Even someone as stubborn as me
Has to suck some of that
And please the guy first
Then I know i will get what i want

sistawoman:

Maybe it is just that what i am asking for is not something that he is trained to do.  He is romantic, I will not take that away from him but I NEED more time, more attention.

He works at night i work during the day.

I don't want to have to tell him that when my stomach cramps you should rub it.  I don't want to tell him that when my back hurts he should offer to rub it.  He does not need to tell me these things.  I have told him I NEED a date night, just one night that he does not work, lets go to the movies, dinner, dancing, walk in the park, something outside of the house and away from the kids.

It may seem small to other but this is what he did to get me, now keep doing it.

davidylan:

Onyinye2, good thing you are learning here . . . nothing annoys me more than a woman who thinks she can whine and nag her way to getting what she wants. 101% of the time i wont budge.

rampant:

if u think you're stubborn then come to me and i will show u the hard knot stubborness in full

onyinye2:


Mba, im fine
I'm not ready to meet
My match.

It may seem small to other but this is what he did to get me, now keep doing it.

rampant:

u will see the real stubborness by d time i start exhibiting mine

sistawoman:

Maybe it is just that what i am asking for is not something that he is trained to do. He is romantic, I will not take that away from him but I NEED more time, more attention.

He works at night i work during the day.

I don't want to have to tell him that when my stomach cramps you should rub it. I don't want to tell him that when my back hurts he should offer to rub it. He does not need to tell me these things. I have told him I NEED a date night, just one night that he does not work, lets go to the movies, dinner, dancing, walk in the park, something outside of the house and away from the kids.

It may seem small to other but this is what he did to get me, now keep doing it.

j-girl:

topup, you are so right. I hate the idea of giving him everything just like that. It's like you are spoiling your man with too much and he might take you for granted
I[b] think the best way to get your needs met without nagging is to have a grown up discussion with the man. [/b]
Men cannot read our minds contrary to the idea that they all have in their heads. If you don't tell them, how are they supposed to know what your needs are?
When you treat your guy like a King, I guess he'll treat you like a Queen. Meet his needs _{I cannot believe these words are even crossing my mind} and he MIGHT meet your needs _{Remember some men are just born dogs. They don't know how to appreciate things like that.}