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The New King And The New Kingdom - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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The New King And The New Kingdom by SamMilla1(m): 11:02pm On Sep 09, 2008
FIRST LADY (between lysa and ademiller)(non negotiable)

FOLAHAN - NAIRALAND ELECTION MINISTER

CLEMCYKUL - MINISTER OF INFOMATION

EVERY OTHER POST IS BY APPLICATION.



FILL THE FORM BELOW.


NAME --------------------------------------

SEX -----------------------------------------

AGE -------------------------------------------

AMBITION ------------------------------------

DO YOU LIKE BRIBERY -------------------------------

DO YOU LIKE JOKES --------------------------

ARE YOU STUPID ---------------------------------------

DO YOU LIKE  HENNESSY ---------------------------------

DO YOU LIKE WOMEN/ MEN ---------------------------------

DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. --------------------------------------

GOOD LUCK
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by iamunique(f): 11:16pm On Sep 09, 2008
NAME ----i am unique----------------------------------

SEX ------------hermaphrodite-----------------------------

AGE --------------------twenty one-----------------------

AMBITION -----------to establish the largest indo(ganja) processing factory in nigeria-------------------------

DO YOU LIKE BRIBERY ----------------of course yes---------------

DO YOU LIKE JOKES ---------------yup-----------

ARE YOU STUPID --------------------not at all-------------------

DO YOU LIKE HENNESSY -----------oh yes with a drag of weed----------------------

DO YOU LIKE WOMEN/ MEN ----------------men-----------------

DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. ----------------of course yes----------------------


Sir, i do hope that my application will be favourably considered. Thank you. kiss kiss
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by MrInfo1(m): 11:42pm On Sep 09, 2008
U king ?


That makes me kinger ? grin
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by SamMilla1(m): 11:53pm On Sep 09, 2008
iamunique:





NAME ----i am unique----------------------------------

SEX ------------hermaphrodite-----------------------------

AGE --------------------twenty one-----------------------

AMBITION -----------to establish the largest indo(ganja) processing factory in nigeria-------------------------

DO YOU LIKE BRIBERY ----------------of course yes---------------

DO YOU LIKE JOKES ---------------yup-----------

ARE YOU STUPID --------------------not at all-------------------

DO YOU LIKE HENNESSY -----------oh yes with a drag of weed----------------------

DO YOU LIKE WOMEN/ MEN ----------------men-----------------

DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. ----------------of course yes----------------------


Sir, i do hope that my application will be favourably considered. Thank you. kiss kiss


you are hereby declared the minister of drugs
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by Gabry(f): 1:53am On Sep 10, 2008
NAME -------------------------------------- Gabry Shannon Wong Yen Li

SEX ----------------------------------------- Depending on my mood. Sometimes I can be female, sometimes male and sometimes in between

AGE ------------------------------------------- negative 25

AMBITION ------------------------------------ Full time job : Farting and Burping Manager Part time job: Groundnut Seller

DO YOU LIKE BRIBERY ------------------------------- As the loyal follower of mama Ngozi, what do you think?

DO YOU LIKE JOKES -------------------------- Jokes? A person whom does not like jokes is a retard and is meant to be farted on the face

ARE YOU STUPID --------------------------------------- Stupid ? Hahah! Hahahaha! Hahahahah! noo. . . .

DO YOU LIKE  HENNESSY --------------------------------- I don't know. I have not tasted it before

DO YOU LIKE WOMEN/ MEN --------------------------------- I like men's koko and women's toto

DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. -------------------------------------- Eh. . . . . . . Depending on my mood. If you give me choc milk, I will
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by clemcykul(f): 8:07am On Sep 10, 2008
rotfmlo grin grin grin
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by SamMilla1(m): 11:04am On Sep 10, 2008
gabrywyl:

NAME -------------------------------------- Gabry Shannon Wong Yen Li

SEX ----------------------------------------- Depending on my mood. Sometimes I can be female, sometimes male and sometimes in between

AGE ------------------------------------------- negative 25

AMBITION ------------------------------------ Full time job : Farting and Burping Manager Part time job: Groundnut Seller

DO YOU LIKE BRIBERY ------------------------------- As the loyal follower of mama Ngozi, what do you think?

DO YOU LIKE JOKES -------------------------- Jokes? A person whom does not like jokes is a retard and is meant to be farted on the face

ARE YOU STUPID --------------------------------------- Stupid ? Hahah! Hahahaha! Hahahahah! noo. . . .

DO YOU LIKE  HENNESSY --------------------------------- I don't know. I have not tasted it before

DO YOU LIKE WOMEN/ MEN --------------------------------- I like men's koko and women's toto

DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. -------------------------------------- Eh. . . . . . . Depending on my mood. If you give me choc milk, I will


BY THE POWER BESTOWED ON ME AS THE KING, I HEREBY REJECT YOUR APPLICATION,


NEXT,
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by lysaa(f): 11:27am On Sep 10, 2008
But ur royal daftness highness, I love that being naw sad

Pls re-consider her application. . LLTK!
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by ayusman16(m): 11:51am On Sep 10, 2008
FILL THE FORM BELOW.


NAME ---------------------------------------------------AYUSMAN STIFFMASTER--------

SEX -----------------------------------------------------EVERY NIGHT( 5hrs Straightaway)--------------------------------

AGE -----------------------------------------------------OLDER THAN YA PAPA------------------------------------

AMBITION ---------------------------------------------TO SLEEP WITH ALL THE NAIRALAND FINE CHICKS (Fine chicks i said)-------------------------------

DO YOU LIKE BRIBERY -------------------------------WITH A PASSION (ONLY TAKE)---------------------------

DO YOU LIKE JOKES ---------------------------------NOPE------------------

ARE YOU STUPID -------------------------------------CLOSE TO You-----------------------------

DO YOU LIKE  HENNESSY ---------------------------BRUSH MY TEETH WITH IT-----------------------------

DO YOU LIKE WOMEN/ MEN -----------------------FINE WOMEN ONLY------------------------------

DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. ----------------------AM DETHRONING YA BLACK HAIRY ASS------------------------------------
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by Nobody: 11:53am On Sep 10, 2008
nldrs its hightime i formed a coup against sam milla

whose wit me
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by ogorluv(m): 3:53pm On Sep 10, 2008
NAME --------------------------------------

SEX -----------------------------------------

AGE -------------------------------------------

AMBITION ------------------------------------

DO YOU LIKE BRIBERY -------------------------------

DO YOU LIKE JOKES --------------------------For sure

ARE YOU STUPID ---------------------------------------depends on my mood

DO YOU LIKE HENNESSY ---------------------------------and jack and johnnywalker and odeku and guilder and ogogoro. . . .

DO YOU LIKE WOMEN/ MEN ------------------------------I love chickalas

DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. ------------------------------which govt.?
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by Gabry(f): 3:55pm On Sep 10, 2008
Yes ohhb lysaa. Sam dont understand my talent. embarassed

Sam, common. . . Reconsider me nna. I will be good I promise grin
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by ogorluv(m): 4:11pm On Sep 10, 2008
NAME --------------------------------------ogorluv

SEX -----------------------------------------TWICE A DAY, sometimes trice

AGE -----------------------------------------ageless

AMBITION ----------------------------------none that I kno of

DO YOU LIKE BRIBERY -------------------its in my blood, my dad is a politician, and his dad was a cop, its in my blood.

DO YOU LIKE JOKES --------------------------For sure

ARE YOU STUPID ---------------------------------------depends on my mood

DO YOU LIKE HENNESSY ---------------------------------and jack and johnnywalker and odeku and guilder and ogogoro. . . .

DO YOU LIKE WOMEN/ MEN ------------------------------I love chickalas

DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. ------------------------------which govt.?
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by ogorluv(m): 4:16pm On Sep 10, 2008
Oyaletor:

nldrs its hightime i formed a coup against sam milla

whose wit me

You and which army, O.Y.O.
grin
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by folly69(m): 4:22pm On Sep 10, 2008
FILL THE FORM BELOW.


NAME --------------------------------------Folly69

SEX -----------------------------------------69 all day and year long
AGE -------------------------------------------45

AMBITION ------------------------------------To teach every nairaland babe how to do da 69 and swallow conviniently koko water.

DO YOU LIKE BRIBERY -------------------------------like ants to sugar

DO YOU LIKE JOKES --------------------------for shizzy

ARE YOU STUPID ---------------------------------------never tried to b

DO YOU LIKE HENNESSY ---------------------------------better than water

DO YOU LIKE WOMEN/ MEN ---------------------------------WOMEN

DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. --------------------------------------yep

GOOD LUCK
[quote][/quote]
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by iamunique(f): 4:34pm On Sep 10, 2008
SAM MILLA:


you are hereby declared the minister of drugs

Wow! Your Kingship, i am honoured. I promise to discharge my duties without fear or favour or prejudice.

I hereby present my SEVEN POINT AGENDA.
*Legalise the public sale and consumption of ganja. Just imagine half of the population high on weed-they will forget all about the bad roads,poverty,traffic,corruption,etc. grin
* Aggressive public enlightenment on the benefits of ganja. Just as Fashola is know with the slogan 'Eko o ni baje', Obama - 'change is here', mine will be 'A SNIFF A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY'. grin
*Ganja planting across the nation, its adds aesthetic beauty to the environment you know. grin
*Mandating that all men MUST sniff before they hammer their women. (my boyfriend does this all the time-our sex life is simply out of this world. Besides, u need to see its positive effects of my looks) grin
*Introducing ganja as a food spice in all cookery books. grin
*Strengthen trade relations between nigeria and jamaica. Ganja export can be a major revenue generator for nigeria. It would surpass the peanuts we are currently getting from crude oil. grin
*Lastly, the construction of the largest ganja processing plant in sub saharan africa. This would create job opportunities for plenty nairalanders that have absolutely nothing doing with their time other than posting here. grin

Your Kingship, i hope you will approve my agenda and forward same to the senate/ministry of finance to discuss the modalities of the budget for my portfolio. Thank you.
tongue
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by iamunique(f): 4:34pm On Sep 10, 2008
SAM MILLA:


you are hereby declared the minister of drugs

Wow! Your Kingship, i am honoured. I promise to discharge my duties without fear or favour or prejudice.

I hereby present my SEVEN POINT AGENDA.
*Legalise the public sale and consumption of ganja. Just imagine half of the population high on weed-they will forget all about the bad roads,poverty,traffic,corruption,etc. grin
* Aggressive public enlightenment on the benefits of ganja. Just as Fashola is know with the slogan 'Eko o ni baje', Obama - 'change is here', mine will be 'A SNIFF A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY'. grin
*Ganja planting across the nation, its adds aesthetic beauty to the environment you know. grin
*Mandating that all men MUST sniff before they hammer their women. (my boyfriend does this all the time-our sex life is simply out of this world. Besides, u need to see its positive effects of my looks) grin
*Introducing ganja as a food spice in all cookery books. grin
*Strengthen trade relations between nigeria and jamaica. Ganja export can be a major revenue generator for nigeria. It would surpass the peanuts we are currently getting from crude oil. grin
*Lastly, the construction of the largest ganja processing plant in sub saharan africa. This would create job opportunities for plenty nairalanders that have absolutely nothing doing with their time other than posting here. grin

Your Kingship, i hope you will approve my agenda and forward same to the senate/ministry of finance to discuss the modalities of the budget for my portfolio. Thank you.


Na wa o! Make una no vex. I am so stoned that i had to submit the post twice.
tongue
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by SamMilla1(m): 5:27pm On Sep 10, 2008
lysaa:

But your royal daftness highness, I love that being naw sad

Please re-consider her application. . LLTK!

@lysaa, favouritism is not accepted in my govt.
no reconsideration unless she agrees to take lessons on ethics right in my bedroom.
=================================

ayusman16:

FILL THE FORM BELOW.


NAME ---------------------------------------------------AYUSMAN STIFFMASTER--------


DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. ----------------------AM DETHRONING YA BLACK HAIRY ASS------------------------------------



i have ordered my men to shhot you at sight.
===========================


ogorluv:

NAME --------------------------------------ogorluv

SEX -----------------------------------------TWICE A DAY, sometimes trice

AGE -----------------------------------------ageless

AMBITION ----------------------------------none that I kno of

DO YOU LIKE BRIBERY -------------------its in my blood, my dad is a politician, and his dad was a cop, its in my blood.

DO YOU LIKE JOKES --------------------------For sure

ARE YOU STUPID ---------------------------------------depends on my mood

DO YOU LIKE HENNESSY ---------------------------------and jack and johnnywalker and odeku and guilder and ogogoro. . . .

DO YOU LIKE WOMEN/ MEN ------------------------------I love chickalas

DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. ------------------------------which govt.?

application under consideration
=============================


folly69:






FILL THE FORM BELOW.


NAME --------------------------------------Folly69

SEX -----------------------------------------69 all day and year long
AGE -------------------------------------------45

AMBITION ------------------------------------To teach every nairaland babe how to do da 69 and swallow conviniently koko water.

DO YOU LIKE BRIBERY -------------------------------like ants to sugar

DO YOU LIKE JOKES --------------------------for shizzy

ARE YOU STUPID ---------------------------------------never tried to b

DO YOU LIKE HENNESSY ---------------------------------better than water

DO YOU LIKE WOMEN/ MEN ---------------------------------WOMEN

DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. --------------------------------------yes

minister of importation, alcohol only, congrats


=====================


iamunique:

Wow! Your Kingship, i am honoured. I promise to discharge my duties without fear or favour or prejudice.

I hereby present my SEVEN POINT AGENDA.
*Legalise the public sale and consumption of ganja. Just imagine half of the population high on weed-they will forget all about the bad roads,poverty,traffic,corruption,etc. grin
* Aggressive public enlightenment on the benefits of ganja. Just as Fashola is know with the slogan 'Eko o ni baje', Obama - 'change is here', mine will be 'A SNIFF A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY'. grin
*Ganja planting across the nation, its adds aesthetic beauty to the environment you know. grin
*Mandating that all men MUST sniff before they hammer their women. (my boyfriend does this all the time-our sex life is simply out of this world. Besides, u need to see its positive effects of my looks) grin
*Introducing ganja as a food spice in all cookery books. grin
*Strengthen trade relations between nigeria and jamaica. Ganja export can be a major revenue generator for nigeria. It would surpass the peanuts we are currently getting from crude oil. grin
*Lastly, the construction of the largest ganja processing plant in sub saharan africa. This would create job opportunities for plenty nairalanders that have absolutely nothing doing with their time other than posting here. grin

Your Kingship, i hope you will approve my agenda and forward same to the senate/ministry of finance to discuss the modalities of the budget for my portfolio. Thank you.
tongue


our new ambassador to colombia and jamaica.
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by ogorluv(m): 5:34pm On Sep 10, 2008
better concider fast before I take up nother offer
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by SamMilla1(m): 5:36pm On Sep 10, 2008
threatning the king.

*phones my defence minister*
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by ogorluv(m): 5:45pm On Sep 10, 2008
*breaks out the big guns and head for the defence ministers house with murder on my mind, no more mister nice guy* angry angry angry
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by tufe(m): 5:59pm On Sep 10, 2008
@post

who made u king now cool
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by ademiller(f): 7:18pm On Sep 10, 2008
Sam , Choose, Me or she? angry

I dont share my man angry
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by studio43(m): 7:23pm On Sep 10, 2008
MADNESS IN THE MAKING angry angry
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by ademiller(f): 7:26pm On Sep 10, 2008
@ studio. Sam Milla shey? undecided hummm
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by toluxa1(m): 7:28pm On Sep 10, 2008
I think You guess are beginning to get crazy. Dont you pple have jobs?
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by studio43(m): 7:28pm On Sep 10, 2008
yes, including his loyalists  grin
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by studio43(m): 7:30pm On Sep 10, 2008
toluxa1:

I think You guess are beginning to get crazy. Dont you people have jobs?


guess or guys?
come, are u a yoruba man?
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by dani1luv: 7:36pm On Sep 10, 2008
NAME ------------------Thief Ganga--------------------

SEX -------------------Both sex----------------------

AGE --------------------One hundred and onety one-----------------------

AMBITION ------------------King of sex------------------

DO YOU LIKE BRIBERY --------------yes-----------------

DO YOU LIKE JOKES -----------------yes---------

ARE YOU STUPID -------------------like you--------------------

DO YOU LIKE HENNESSY --------------- ^------------------

DO YOU LIKE WOMEN/ MEN ---------------women------------------

DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. -------------------yes 4 sure-------------------

i hereby apply for the Minister of raping women tongue
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by ademiller(f): 7:51pm On Sep 10, 2008
U WISH tongue
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by studio43(m): 7:52pm On Sep 10, 2008
maybe he's a child molestor, cool
Re: The New King And The New Kingdom by Nobody: 8:07pm On Sep 10, 2008
NAME -----------------Oyaletor, Xzibit, Tommy, etc

SEX ------------------i don't know this one, my teacher did not teach me

AGE --------------------20moons 2suns 5stars 15candles

AMBITION ----------------to play under NFA (NO FUTURE AMBITION)

DO YOU LIKE BRIBERY --------------GOD FORBID BAD THING, I ONLY DO GOOD BUSINESS (CALL IT WHAT EVER U WANT)

DO YOU LIKE JOKES -----------------NO WAY, I JOKE NO LIKE AT ALL - I LOVE JOKES

ARE YOU STUPID -------------------ANSWER THIS YOURSELF

DO YOU LIKE HENNESSY --------------- HABA__of course na

DO YOU LIKE WOMEN/ MEN --------------I LIKE MEN AND I LLLOOOOOOOOVVEEE WOMEN FINE CHICKS

DO YOU SUPPORT MY GOVT. -------------I DO SOLEMLY SWEAR TO BE A GOOD KING AFTER THE DEATH OF SAMMILA -- OF COURSE I SUPPORT U WITH ALL MY LIFE

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