Eight Ramadan Lessons for All Spiritual Seekers

Ramadan, the ninth month in the Islamic calendar, is special to Muslims as a holy period dedicated to fasting, self-purification, and spiritual attainment. Whether you're Muslim, Christian, Jewish, or just a spiritual seeker, you can probably appreciate the goals of Ramadan: a whole-body awareness of God and a humble thankfulness for whatever blessings He has granted.

Achieving those goals is a challenge for anyone. But after 20 years of fasting, I've learned some valuable lessons to simplify and spiritualize the Ramadan experience--and how to keep that special feeling alive throughout the year--lessons that can help anyone make their life a little more spiritual and uncomplicated. So check out these tips, whether you're a Muslim who's been fasting for years, or just someone looking for more depth in your spiritual life.

Text by Dilshad D. Ali, Islam

Take the Remembrance of God Inward

For Muslims: Do dhikr (reciting short du'as, or supplications) silently while you're driving, waiting in line somewhere, or doing endless household tasks. Keep a thasbi (the equivalent of a Muslim rosary) in your purse or pocket and use it to count off du'as (prayers).

For all: Spending whatever downtime you have to remember God or peacefully meditate is a great idea for everyone. Thousands of hours go by every year in our work commutes and in chauffeuring our kids around. Why not try to use that time to quiet our minds, remind ourselves of a higher being, and appreciate what we've been given?

Appreciate Technology, Then Tune It Out

For Muslims: In past Ramadans I always went on a sort of technology crash diet--television, music, inane web surfing, and movies were all self-banned for 30 days. All the extra time was designated for reading Qur'an, praying, and reconnecting with my family. Well, crash diets never work in the long term.

So the better thing to do is to use technology wisely: Use your email to stay in contact with friends and family, get the news from television and the Internet, and use your ipod to listen to Qur'anic prayers. And when basic needs have been met, turn the technology off and take the extra time to pray and reconnect.

For all: Use the technology to do what you need to do for work and family. But then, instead of spending hours surfing the web or TV channels, fight the urge and tune out. Discover your family, and discover meditation and prayer. You can start slow--cut out an hour of web surfing (or one TV program) every week and build up.

Share Meals Together as a Family

For Muslims: Having iftar (the fast-breaking meal at sunset) as a family should be easier this Ramadan. Muslims follow a lunar calendar, which moves Ramadan back 10 days earlier each year. This year most iftars will be after 7 p.m., late enough for the family to be home together. Breaking the fast with the family is a great opportunity to appreciate one another's holy efforts and discuss spiritual topics.

For all: The family dinner is a concept hammered home by family and social organizations. Even some television stations, like Nickelodeon, show spots advising us to "Make time for the family table." A weekly or bi-weekly family dinner is a great time to reconnect, to learn about each other, and to discuss a designated list of topics that are of interest to your family.

Do New Types of Charity

For Muslims: After becoming a parent, I used to get discouraged that I couldn't properly do those things recommended to Muslims during Ramadan: Go for tarawih prayers or read the entire Qur'an. But my mom and mother-in-law gave me sound insight: Everything you do for the comfort of your family is charity and a way of worshipping God.

That being said, Ramadan is a great time to try new acts of charity and goodness: Put aside a can of food a day and donate it all when the month is up. Cook a few dishes and take them to your mosque for those who come there to have iftar.

For all: Recognizing the things you do for family and friends as acts of goodness that are acknowledged by God is a great step toward achieving inner spirituality. But do take a step out of your comfort zone to tackle one small charitable project each month, whether it's donating a little money each day to your favorite charity or taking charge of your office's annual volunteer project.

Get to Your House of Worship and Find Community

For Muslims: About the only time most Muslim-Americans go to the mosque is for Friday prayers or for Sunday school. During Ramadan, why not make the mosque an integral part of worship? Go there for as many tarawih prayers as you can, especially the end ones when the Qur'an is being completed. Pick one day a week and go to your mosque for iftar. It's amazing how good we feel to see others fasting and striving as much as we are.

For all: If you are religious, try visiting your church, synagogue, or temple outside of regular worship services. You may meet different people and take part in different experiences that can replenish your spiritual well. If you don't favor any particular house of worship, designate some spot--a park or your backyard at sunset--where you feel some calm, and visit it with family or friends, free of mental distractions, and with a focus on each other.

Realize That Faith and Worldly Life Go Hand-in-Hand

For Muslims: During Ramadan some Muslims indulge in spiritual extremes--they may try to shutdown all "worldly" aspects of life, like watching TV or playing with kids, and replace it with all spiritually related activities. But man cannot exist on prayer alone. Yes, Ramadan is the month when Muslims are told that God stops the devil from harassing us, and our prayers are more powerful. But though we must ramp up our spiritual practices, we need to keep up our everyday routines.

For all: Finding and maintaining a balance between spiritual pursuits and life practices is always a good idea. Resolving to remember God more or to be spiritual in other ways can be a soulful way to center ourselves. But I've found that only trained holy persons or gurus can be spiritual or religious-minded 100 percent of the time. The rest of us should make time for worldly and spiritual practices.

Don't Wait for Ramadan to Get More Spiritual

For Muslims: Imam Zaid Shakir has a popular video about preparing for Ramadan as if you're training for a big race. You can't just stand at the starting line and then all of a sudden run the spiritual race. Start by fasting on Mondays and Thursdays in Shaban (the month preceding Ramadan) as prescribed by hadith (verified sayings of Prophet Muhammad). Want to read the entire Qur'an in Ramadan? Then before Ramadan, put aside 15 minutes each day to read the Qur'an.

For all: If you want to become more spiritual, pray more, practice your religion more closely, or read religious scripture more, working up to it will help you attain your goal and maintain it in the long run. Starting any new practice (or giving something up in small increments) will help you gain a taste for it and work it into your regular routine. Going full blast or cold turkey is rarely the best way.

Avoid a Spiritual Letdown

For Muslims: One of the biggest Ramadan problems is what happens immediately afterward. Muslims are consumed with fasting and prayer. Then Ramadan ends and we resume the mantle of our everyday flawed lives. What we should be doing is keeping some of our good Ramadan habits throughout the year.

So be sure to engage in a cool-down period afterwards with an eye toward maintaining some of your Ramadan practices. Try fasting one day a week. Resolve to keep up a charitable practice. Read the Qur'an for five minutes daily. A little bit goes a long way.

For all: At some point you're probably going to work towards a big goal. Maybe you want to lose 10 pounds. Maybe you're going to kick smoking. So you'll go all-out to achieve that goal. But once it's done, avoid the letdown. It's so easy to go back to old habits once a goal is accomplished. Instead, focus on small ways to maintain that momentum. Making life-altering changes is great. But it's how we manage small, daily changes that make the real, long-term difference.

10 Tips for Fasting Healthfully and Spiritually

During the month of Ramadan, Muslims abstain from food, drink, and other sensual pleasures during daylight hours. The fasting month is also about spiritual cleansing and introspection, a time to re-energize the God connection. And it's a reminder of the plight of the poor--which hopefully pushes Muslims to do more charitable work.

But fasting isn't exclusive to Muslims (or Ramadan, for that matter) Most faiths prescribe some sort of fast. And done the right way, fasting is a wonderful way for us to cleanse ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually. Are you interested embarking on a fast? Then check out these tips to guide you to a more healthful and spiritual fast.

Text by Hesham Hassaballa


1. Get into the Mental and Spiritual Groove for Fasting

Fasting is way more than just going without food and drink (that's called a crash diet). At its best, it is a spiritual and physical cleansing and a declaration of independence from the shackles of earthly life. If you want to embark on a spiritual fast, you need mental readiness to forgo the normal things that define your life. Begin by thinking about the fast before it actually happens, why you are doing it, and what you want to achieve. Then you can be ready on Day One.

2. Slowly Eliminate Favorite Foods/Drinks

How hard can it be to forgo food and drink for a day? More than you know. For me, the first few days of Ramadan are spent in a somnolent stupor as I withdraw from caffeine. And an abrupt food/drink/nicotine withdrawal can take away from the spiritual benefit of fasting. Thus, try cutting back those things on which you are dependent for a week or two before you plan to fast. Start drinking decaf coffee, cut back on sweets, and cut down on cigarettes (if that's your vice).

3. Try to Always Have a Pre-Fast Meal

When Muslims fast during Ramadan from sunrise to sunset, it's strongly encouraged to have the suhoor, or pre-dawn meal. It helps give the fasting person strength and energy to go through the day without any nourishment. I'm not advising that you should wake up and gorge yourself before you begin fasting. But eat something. And if you choose to begin your fast at sunrise, it's also a wonderful, calm, quiet time of day to reflect on what you're about to do. (And don't forget a healthy post-fast meal (called the iftar by Muslims--and don't overeat when you break the fast.)

4. Drink Plenty of Fluids Pre- and Post-Fast

Muslims will be fasting for long, hot days now that Ramadan is moving into the summer months. So it is of the utmost importance that one stay fully hydrated. If you plan on fasting, fluids should be consumed regularly before and after the fast--and slowly. (Chugging water after breaking a fast can make you feel sick.) If you can't get up for a full meal before beginning your fast, try to drink some water. Proper fluid consumption pre- and post-fast is always important--whether or not it's summertime when you fast.

5. Avoid Strenuous Physical Activity

Fasting within the routines of a normal day can be testing. You're challenged to complete your tasks without that food or coffee break. It is always important to pace yourself throughout the day, and if strenuous activity can be avoided, then do so. In many Middle Eastern countries, work and school days are shortened during Ramadan. But many of us need to do our work while we fast. So try and make it physically easier on yourself so that you have enough energy to strive for that spiritual connection.

6. Start with a Partial Fast, if Need Be

The fast of Ramadan is a complete fast: no food, no drink, no intimate relations, no cigarettes, etc., from dawn to dusk (after which these things are allowed until the next day's dawn) for 30 days. Other faiths prescribe 24-hour fasts. All these fasts are meant to bring our focus back to a higher state of being, to remind us to be thankful, and to help cleanse ourselves of bad habits. But if a Ramadan-type fast is too much for you, then just fast for a day or two and gradually eliminate fluids. But trust me: Though it seems tough, fasting is not really that hard.

7. Fasting Is Not for Everyone

Some of us are not meant to fast at certain times, or ever. For Muslims, if a person is ill, he or she does not have to fast but must make up the day later. There are other times a Muslim should not fast (traveling, pregnancy, nursing, etc.). And you shouldn't fast if it comes to the point where it will harm your health. Sure, fasting is a wonderful way of inner spiritual cleansing. But there are other things we can do if we can't fast, such as feed the poor. Meditation, reading scripture, reciting prayers, doing acts of charity--all these acts help turn up our spiritual dial.

8. Learn What You Can Do Without

One thing Muslims learn during Ramadan is how many things we can learn to do without, such as that cup of coffee. In this way, fasting can be a great opportunity to reevaluate your daily routine and see if there is anything harmful that you can take away permanently. This works spiritually as well. We can use fasting to eliminate (or lessen) the things that inhibit us from attaining a God-connection or a general sense of spiritual well-being. Do you spend a lot of time watching television or surfing the web? See if you can do without so much of it.

  9. It's Not a Diet Plan

The Prophet Muhammad once said, "He whose fasting does not prevent him from doing evil, God does not have any need that he quits having his food and his drink." This highlights the essence of the Ramadan fast: to improve one's spiritual self (and become God-conscious). For anyone fasting, the purpose should be to become a better person, to recharge one's spirit. Try to avoid conflict with other people; try to improve your character; try to find your own connection to a higher power. Otherwise all you are doing is an extreme diet.

10. Keep Up the Spirit of Your Fast

Fasting in Ramadan is an amazing spiritual exercise. When we're fasting, we're in a spiritual zone. But once our fast ends, it's all too easy to lose what we have gained. So try to keep the spirit of your fast alive throughout the year. If you got rid of bad habits, don't go back to them. If you've just ended a lengthy fast, try to keep fasting a few days every month. Keep up whatever spiritual practices you did (as much as you can) during your fast. Let us not be angels during our fasting days and devils the day after our fast is finished.

Hello my Muslim Brothers and Sisters here is a message from Saudi Arabia find Attachment below

Five Tips on Parenting Facebook Kids - By Hesham A. Hassaballa

Parenting kids of the Facebook generation is tough. Here are five tips to help you navigate your hi-tech kids

Teach Kids that God Loves Them

One thing I wish I had been taught growing up was that God loved me. I was taught that God will punish me if I do anything wrong. I admit, it kept me in line as a teenager: I really never got into trouble. But that was also because I had a number of goals I wanted to accomplish in life, and so I made a "deal" of sorts with God: If You give me what I want, I will do what You want.

But this kind of teaching is fraught with danger, because the child can grow up with an image of a God that is cold, distant, and cruel-hearted. That is not the God whom I worship now. The God to whom I bow five times daily is a beautiful, loving, merciful, kind Lord, always ready and willing to embrace me when I come calling. He loves to shower His grace and mercy over his devoted servant, and He does not tire from hearing our incessant begging for more.

Whenever we do make a mistake, His forgiveness is overwhelming and readily accessible. Everything we have in our lives is a direct result of His love and mercy, and I want my children to know that through and through. Because if they know how much God loves them (and Islam teaches us that God loves us 70 times more than our own mother does), then hopefully they will want to do the right thing to honor that love.

Teach Kids to Live in the Light of God’s Love

Once children know and understand that God loves them, the next step is to live in the light of that love. This means that since God loves us so much, it is only right and honorable that we love Him back. And we must show that love for God by doing what God asks of us to the best of our ability. That means staying away from the things that God does not like. So would God like us to avoid Facebook? I don't know the exact answer, but I believe He would not want us to lose ourselves in it. He wants us to be modest in our deeds and actions—in person and online. When couched in the perspective of loving God back for all of His undying love, it is not a burden, but a welcome sacrifice for one's Beloved.

If I can teach my children to love and honor God because He loved us first, that will go a long way toward making them be good, upright children who do not get into trouble. But relying solely on this is horribly naïve, I know. I remember what it was like to be a teenager: So many forces pulling in so many different directions. It is a maddening time of one's life, and truly, you could not pay me enough money to relive those years of my life. So, along with teaching our children that God loves them and to live in that love, we have to inject some practicality when it comes to raising our kids in the 21st century.

Keep the Computer in a Public Place at Home

Even if our teenagers are St. Peter or Imam Ali walking on earth, they are teenagers: They are susceptible to mischief and vulnerable to those who would harm them. I think it is reasonable to have the computer in a central place in the home so that what our kids are doing online is visible to the whole family, especially the parents. That includes laptops--no laptops in the bedroom. If what my kid is doing online should not be seen by my eyes, then it should not be done.

Facebook, but with a Parental "Friend"

So many people are on Facebook, MySpace, and other social networking sites, and I know that soon, very soon, my daughters will be asking to go on Facebook. I am quite torn about this: Most of my friends and family are on Facebook, and thus far, I have resisted the temptation to join them (for a whole host of reasons, not the least of which is lack of time). Yet, it can be a nice forum to keep in touch with friends and family and share photos and messages. There is a positive value to social networking sites. So, what to do? Well, I know that I will probably cave and let them have an account, but with a number of conditions.

First, they cannot put whatever they want on their Facebook page. Second, only their real friends should be given access to their Facebook information, and I reserve the right to know who these friends are. And their Facebook page is subject to random "spot inspections" to make sure there are no strangers who have asked to be their friends. It will be a tricky situation, because I'm sure my kids will feel that I'm invading their privacy. But I hope to avoid this feeling by explaining to them why I need to check up on them—not because I don't trust them, but because I know of the temptation around them.

Social networking can be a tremendous time sink, and it is of the utmost importance that Facebook not take away from schoolwork. If their grades begin to suffer because of Facebook, then , poof! The account disappears into thin air. A good idea is to let the children have a Facebook account with me as a "friend." That way I can keep a loving eye on my baby's online activities , and I can be "hip" at the same time.

Cell phone? Yes, but with Limitations

A cell phone can be a life-saver: If something were to happen to my child, I want her to have a way to communicate with me and my wife immediately. But cell phones can be another portal for danger, especially with the cell phones of today. They are not just phones. They are internet browsers, cameras, MP3 players, video players, televisions, and video cameras. Now I would not want to make my daughter the laughing stock of the school by getting her a cell phone with minimal capability. (But she won't get the latest Blackberry either , that's for me!). Thus, the same issues apply to the cell phone: She can have one, but there will be limitations on who she can call, text, send photos, etc. And, again, the phone is subject to random inspections, just to be sure that the people in her contacts folder are people we know and trust.

Of course, this is going to be a work in progress, and I know there will be rough patches along the way. Still, I think my generation has an advantage over my parents' generation when it comes to raising high-tech kids. I know what it is like growing up in America--something my parents did not experience. Thus, I can relate to some of the pressures they are facing. And, although I am not a computer specialist, I am still quite familiar with the ins and outs of technology (I am thoroughly addicted to my Blackberry), and thus when I am talking to my child, hopefully we will both be speaking the same language. Again, something that was not true with my parents.

At the end of the day, I think a very important component of this is open, honest communication with our kids about how challenging it is to be a kid today. They should know that all this fretting over their online and cellular lives is out of love for them; we are not trying to torture them. And, we as parents must learn to trust our children, especially if we have done all that we can to instill spiritual, moral values in them. But still, kids will be kids. Thus, I will operate with an age-old principle: Trust, but verify. I may be a dumb parent, but I am not stupid, either.

JazakALLAH khayran

Dunno if u're male or a female bt ur orientatn is valuable

may ALLAH (SWT) lead us all to the right path & make the good deeds easy for us to perfom. . . . Ameen