You are making too many assumptions.

One no one said that the man would tell his girlfriend! We are saying it is possible! Not that he will be going out regularly to cheat!!

Two you are not a man and really have no idea what men are like and how we reason.

Three our parents are all living in the real world and if you want to pretend that everything is a fairytale between them that is your choice but it does not mean that stuff will/has not happen/happened.

I'll put it this way. If a man thinks there is a chance he might cheat on his girlfriend/wife etc, then it would be wise not to get tied up in a relationship and I wasn't making any assumption. I don't think men reason with their head when they cheat.

Faa Let us call a spade a spade . Nigeria is a polygamous land.
That means a man can marry more than one wife. The first wife can accept it or go.
Many of us even if we do not admit it here, have cheating fathers and brothers.
If everybody thinks >>>> you

faa:

I'll put it this way. If a man thinks there is a chance he might cheat on his girlfriend/wife etc, then it would be wise not to get tied up in a relationship and I wasn't making any assumption. I don't think men reason with their head when they cheat.

Then no two people will ever marry.
by the way Love is not the same thing for everybody.

crappppppp is a fairytale "and they lived happly ever after" thinking

mamaput:

Faa Let us call a spade a spade . Nigeria is a polygamous land.
That means a man can marry more than one wife. The first wife can accept it or go.
Many of us even if we do not admit it here, have cheating fathers and brothers.
If everybody thinks >>>> youThen no two people will ever marry.
by the way Love is not the same thing for everybody.

crappppppp is a fairytale "and they lived happly ever after" thinking

We aren't talking about Nigeria. We are talking IN GENERAL. A man who cheats on his wife, does not love her. I am sorry, it's not done. How can you say you love your wife but bang the next woman you see?
Besides, I don't think polygamous marriages are based on love. They are based on children and other issues BUT not love.

This is overwhelming. Saying 'I love you but I'll cheat on you because I'm a man, it's our nature'. *Yawns*, if a woman should do this, she'd be stoned to death, called a bitch, a slut or whatever. But when a man does it, it's his nature. Ha! What's next? Men are overrated.

The bottom line is; if my husband/boyfriend should cheat on me, *prepares bag* I'm off. He definately doesn't love me.

Seriously, how in the world can you cheat/hurt someone you love all in the sake of 'nature'. It's NOT in your nature! If men can do it, hell, women should do it too!

Try to be realistic, YOU CANNOT CHEAT ON SOMEONE YOU LOVE. That isn't love, that's your penis talking.

Quit thinking with your joysticks and start using your brains.

LOok if you are a Nigerian woman and you tell your people you are devorcing your husband because he cheated on you, They will never support you. Never.
By the way this is a NIgerian Forum so in general is here.
Do you think that even your kids will be happy or thank you (if you take their father away from them) just because the man cheated on you.
Wait till they grow and see what they will tell you. Most women i know add atol of lies and brainwash the minds of the kids so bad becaue they know a "he cheated on me is a lame selfish excuse"

To the rest i say it has always been a mans world always.and always will be .

@Mamaput. They are all living in fantasy island! Tell them!!!!!


We are not saying it's good but it happens everyday! They love their wives & they still cheat on them! PEOPLE STOP PRETENDING FOR GOD"S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!

Well with that kind of attitude men will continue oppressing women. If the woman is angry at her husband for cheating on her, her kids won't be happy. Maybe you can afford to do that to your kids but I'm sure not going to take such nonsense.
I get the impression you care alot about other people's opinion about you but eh 1 piece of advice for you, u'll go no where with that attitude. You better get rid of that mentality.

How can "he cheated on me be a lame selfish excuse" to leave your husband. The guy is sleeping with 2-3 (if not more) and you think you do not have any justification to leave him? Are you waiting for him to kill you? Cos I bet you such a woman will die of anger.

Jay-O-Jay:

@Mamaput. They are all living in fantasy island! Tell them!!!!!


We are not saying it's good but it happens everyday! They love their wives & they still cheat on them! PEOPLE STOP PRETENDING FOR GOD"S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not surprised cos u are a man looking for reasons to cheat and u men don't think with your heads ( u know the real head). I'm talking to bricks here!!!!

We are not talking about the good or bad in it, just that it happens.
And it happens everyday. so no need to be rude.
Fact is one dose not even need a reason to cheat it happens,

mamaput:

We are not talking about the good or bad in it, just that it happens.
And it happens everyday. so no need to be rude.
Fact is one dose not even need a reason to cheat it happens,

No offense but I do not share your opinion and I wasn't trying to be rude. It's just that it's shocking when people say it's natural for men to cheat and that the woman has to suffer the consequences and you are telling me women shouldn't have problems with that (leave her husband) is appalling.
That's my opinion and I do not expect you to accept it.

If you leave your husband, in most cases your standard of living falls.
You cannot compare two salaries with one.
So b 4 you leave a man you have to know it is really worth it. More so if children are involved.

@faa. Perhaps u've not read my contributions in the past on the topic.  I hate every bit of it and I can't stand anyone cheating a woman.  For your information I love every woman like my mother and I hate seeing her being hurt.  Even if I cheat, it does not mean I,m right nor is it my moral right because I'm a man & stand up to tell my woman, take it or leave it!  All I'm saying is, this thing happens not because u don't love your woman but because of the weak nature of man that can not take his eyes away from beautiful women like u, because of u women that can not stop making yourself look attractive. If I may say, one of the reasons why you make yourself look good is because of men!  I'm sure If u don't get a man toasting u once in a month, u will feel inadequate. I am just trying to be realistic, so don't get me wrong.

Of course, but I think a child's happiness is much more important than money. I know that most of the time when mums are unhappy the kids tend to be unhappy too. So it depends on how well you can control such a situation but I still think a man who cheats on his wife does not love her.

@ faa, the thing confuses me, sef. And those claiming that "everyone is doing it, so stop pretending" is a justification for cheating is even more baffling. And if you say you grow up in a home where such a thing is unheard of, they'll say just cause the man didn't say it doesn't mean it never happened. For people to still believe this one-sided  propaganda in 2006 and in the age of technology where you can get on the internet and find information for yourself, instead of living in perpetual lie and mental enslavement is disturbing.

Jay-O-Jay:

@faa. Perhaps u've not read my contributions in the past on the topic.  I hate every bit of it and I can't stand anyone cheating a woman.  For your information I love every woman like my mother and I hate seeing her being hurt.  Even if I cheat, it does not mean I,m right nor is it my moral right because I'm a man & stand up to tell my woman, take it or leave it!  All I'm saying is, this thing happens not because u don't love your woman but because of the weak nature of man that can not take his eyes away from beautiful women like u, because of u women that can not stop making yourself look attractive. If I may say, one of the reasons why you make yourself look good is because of men!  I'm sure If u don't get a man toasting u once in a month, u will feel inadequate. I am just trying to be realistic, so don't get me wrong.

Maybe it's me but I do not actually make myself look good for men. Though, I get ur point. Eh! flattering doesn't work here. I see cute men everyday it doesn't mean I want to jump into the sac with them.

@mamaput. As a back up to your statements, if you leave your husband what do you gain? You become a free lance and sleep with any man at all. How do u think people will look at u? How do u want you growing children to look at u.  Which ever way u take it in our society people don't like the idea of woman changing men like cloth. They will see u as nothing but a prostitute.  How unfair the society is the same look does not apply to men, even your own parents will not support u leaving tour husband because he cheated or cheats on your. The first question they will ask you is, does he bring the women to your bedroom? If u say no! They will say, what is your problem?!

@ Nia,

You are blessed. You are the best!!!!! Everyone just seems to have travelled a million years back.

Nia if you think we are in a modern world , you are deceiving yourself.
See what happened to Bill Clinton. Do you think if it had been Mrs Clinton  they would have forgiven her just like that.
Do you see what happened to lady DI .
Even in the schools in Europe today , single mothers are "frowned" upon.
A man talking to the teacher and a woman dose not have the same impact.

Jay o jay not every woman that leaves her husband is doing it to sleep around.
But you are right, if she dose people will talk about her.
I live here in Germany when i devoiced my husband, My White German neighbor that came to see me to borrow what ever never stepped into my place but stood at the door.
His Reason he did not want people to think that we are lovers. Because that is how peoples minds are.
When my husband was around he will come in and sit down.
ANd this is a white man thinking like this with on black influence in his blood.

@faa. Once again you are wrong. I,m not flattering neither am I saying U'll jump into bed with any man that toasts u.  U are a woman, sometimes to feel like a woman u need men to tell u and u know that when they come around u and it makes u feel good.  I'll tell u something, every woman is a Princess.  The best person to tell u that are the fathers.  " Monkey no fine im Mama like am!"

@ Jay-o-Jay,

*Faints*. So every woman who decides to leave her husband for cheating on her automatically starts sleeping around. Wow, I must have come from mars.


@mamaput,

I don't think your examples should be reasons why women have to stay with a cheat. What do you care about what society thinks of you.

@mamaput. Of course not every woman that leaves her husband sleeps around.  That was an average statement to back up a fact. Some may just be pushed to that extent.

LOL,

Every woman is a princess? Wow, I never knew that.

faa:

@ Jay-o-Jay,

@mamaput,

I don't think your examples should be reasons why women have to stay with a cheat. What do you care about what society thinks of you.

Thats not what my examples were for.
My examples are just to state  even if we are in 2006 , this world is not as morden as you think it is. I was adressing NIa ,that is claiming to live in a morden world

@faa. A general statement is an average statement.  There is always an exception in any case in life.  Man is not perfect only God!

@faa. To your father you will forever remain a Princess no matter what!

Jay-O-Jay:

@faa. A general statement is an average statement.  There is always an exception in any case in life.  Man is not perfect only God!

Mon Dieu, C'est incroyable!!!

Thanks to you guys (Mamaput and Jay O Jay) I learned something new. I've made up my mind; I'm going to cheat on my future husband, of course I love him but oh well, the devil in me is just too much. Also, thanks to your arguments, I'm 100 % sure he'll stay with me and love me. I mean, he doesn't want the society judging him (I'm sure the society cares about me).

Wow, THANK YOU *shakes their hands*. You've changed my life.

Come on guys, lets cheat away!!

[/sarcasm]

Hey we were talking about cheating Husbands not wifey .
For women its different.

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool; How did I know you were going to say that?

@faa.  We look like jokers to you?!  That is the irony of our lives, the truth is always bitter!

Come on, you guys are funny. I'm trying to be serious and you keep making me laugh.

The good thing about life is that every man is an entity, u can do whatever u want no matter what anyone says. It's a Free world afterall!