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Incredible! Read The Best Divorce Letter I Have Seen Exchanged By A Couple / Ex Husband Got The Divorce Letter And He Suddenly Wants Reconciliation. / Best Divorce Letter Ever Between Ex- Couple !!! (2) (3) (4)
Best Divorce Letter Ever by fellybabe(f): 11:52am On Sep 26, 2008 |
Dear KEMMY, I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says: "There's no one like you, Connie." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn't believe and an ass that just wouldn't quit. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a intimacy gadget." Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Connie, she really is. So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, Connie. In your heart you must know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can. If you feel the same please, please, please let me know. Otherwise, can you let me know where the fucking remote is. LOVE, TUNNDYYYYYYYYYYY |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by Seun(m): 12:10pm On Sep 26, 2008 |
Hehe. |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by timbabng(m): 1:43pm On Sep 26, 2008 |
That was excellent ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by olukemih: 2:30pm On Sep 26, 2008 |
Extraordinary ![]() |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by sistawoman: 3:21pm On Sep 26, 2008 |
that was great. |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by rubi(f): 5:39pm On Sep 26, 2008 |
That is sweet you don't know the value of what you have until you loose it |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by SeanT21(f): 5:45pm On Sep 26, 2008 |
Haha. This dude is crazy. |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by wanitas(f): 6:55pm On Sep 26, 2008 |
d guy's an ass, surely ![]() |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by kokoye(m): 7:17pm On Sep 26, 2008 |
crazy ![]() |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by fellybabe(f): 11:39pm On Sep 26, 2008 |
yep, very crazy indeed |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by lobinoxebe(m): 7:37pm On Sep 29, 2008 |
crazy |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by sosodat: 8:20pm On Oct 02, 2008 |
LMAO ![]() ![]() ![]() This is crazy, damn rubi: rubi, seems you didnt read the letter ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by osculate(m): 9:11pm On Oct 04, 2008 |
best thing I've read in a long time, got me laughing my ribs out |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by MissyB1(m): 9:42pm On Oct 04, 2008 |
If I were the woman. . . . think I'm jst gunah strangle maself. Nice one tho. ![]() |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by Nobody: 12:20am On Oct 05, 2008 |
rotflmao!!! Hilarious! ![]() ![]() |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by bawomolo(m): 6:41pm On Oct 05, 2008 |
lmao |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by HumbledbYGrace(f): 3:55pm On Aug 18, 2013 |
fellybabe: Dear KEMMY,Wow....atleast he was being honest but damnit ![]() |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by Kanwulia: 6:20am On Aug 19, 2013 |
And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole BehindBased thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, Connie. In your heart you must know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can. Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Behind the BASE wahala again? LOL!!!! Oh dia!!!! Brings back sweeeeeeeeet memories of the dudes who have asked me for that kain tin. . . since toto nor dey tight enough! I should try it one of these days. . . just to SHYTE ALL OVER SOMEBARRY'S BED! Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!! Thank my H-Agnostic Gawd say porson don 'tessss' marriage! NA DIS KAIN 'WERE' DUDES WOMEN GO DEY DIE TO MARRY? Fiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by Nobody: 8:07am On Aug 19, 2013 |
Kanwulia: ![]() ![]() |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by Nobody: 8:28am On Aug 19, 2013 |
Ars....e..hoe. He should try it with his freeeging mother to see if he would still miss her ![]() Good riddance to bad rubbbish ![]() |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by Tinkybabe(f): 9:29am On Aug 19, 2013 |
The guy is an arsehole..haba!! What did the girl do ??good thing she left his sorry arse The letter is not even funny. rubi: That is sweet you don't know the value of what you have until you loose itSo you'll be grinning from ear to ear if a man sends this to you? Smh |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by oxygen47: 2:19pm On Aug 19, 2013 |
Pathetic fool!!! Good Riddance by the lady He doesnt deserve her |
Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever by nbright: 2:51pm On Aug 19, 2013 |
Tinkybabe: The guy is an arsehole..haba!! What did the girl do ??good thing she left his sorry arseIt is funny.. |
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