hispinkolo: @Godismystrength

It must be hard for you..Dunno what to say again except that I hope somehow things turn round for you both.
One fact is that if things keep on being this way,you will get frustrated and start resenting him due to frustration.
The worst part is that his family is supporting him so there's really not much you can do.
You will have to consider not paying the rent again though and wait it out.If you keep coming to the rescue,he won't have any motivation to change the status quo.
Lemme ask you,if moving to your parents and suffering maybe a couple of extra miles to work for a while would reset his brain would you do it?

I really don't want you to get to a point where you will be so frustrated that you start insulting him,you are human and such a scenario could happen when you can't take the burden again.

Does he feel any shame using up all the money you make or does he think it's his right?Is he like a house husband? Is he making efforts to remedy the situation? If he is,then you can go on helping out till he gets a job.
If not,tough love is the answer or you will end up looking like his grandma while he's a fresh young man.
Im sooo sorry my sister ooooo.God is really your strength

Moving to my parents' house is no option. We are not in the same state.
He feels no shame. I am the one that even feels the shame for him when i hear him talk about issues like this. He thinks it is normal and a right.
House husband ke? na God forbid things o. I am on my own in that area.
No effort to remedy anything. He is even on the look out for a more paying job for me. According to him, even if the stress of the work is plenty, as long as pay is good for me, i should be glad to take it up. He doesn't seem to want a paying job yet he is so not serious with the business he claims he is doing(this is the part that hurts most)

pickabeau1:

This is a very intensive one both time wise (about 3t years) and financially

You need to be strong

I wish you all the best

God wiill really be your strength

I got some exception. What can i do? or is there any other kind of certifications that is quick and yield result asap

Godmystrength: I got some exception. What can i do? or is there any other kind of certifications that is quick and yield result asap

by all means ..continue

ACCA is an international certification and very important for someone in the accounting field


I just stated it is tasking so you keep your focus.
Is all

pickabeau1:

by all means ..continue

ACCA is an international certification and very important for someone in the accounting field


I just stated it is tasking so you keep your focus.
Is all

okay.

My sister,you will have to focus your all on improving yourself as you've started doing.
I don't know how you will cope with taking exams while taking care of the baby.
If I could stretch my hands from here and help you,I would.
Just psych yourself into excelling and save save save for your child.

Some people are happy with the woman being bread winner while they do anything they like.It will be hard but you need to gather strength from within and forge ahead. Just don't give him your money or access to it or it will be wasted.let everything you are doing be focused on your child.i can't emphasise it enough.
I know someone in this same situation but the husband is a house husband and is happy taking care of the house and the kids.Business isn't working for him as well so the wife brings home money while he seems quite ok with helping out in the home.

The day will come though when you will feel fed up and you will have to give him an ultimatum.If not,you may have to face 20 or 30 years in the same situation..Something just has to give so that you don't go crazy or bitter.


If I say he will change,I'm a liar.We can only hope but in the mean time we can always offer a listening ear to help smooth out the times when you feel low.
Plenty hugs to you.


PS. IM so glad you are beefing up your certificates,I'm sure you will do very well.Strong woman!

Hmmmm,........all I can say is God is truly your strength!

I don't know you from Adam , but the story right here is my dilemma. Wow!! May God save us from enemies within.

hispinkolo: It's very difficult to walk the walk especially when hubby is the diplomatic type who will try to avoid wahala at all costs,always leaving you to defend yourself.
My inlaws have backstabbed me well well.I believe i'm married into a family of pretenders.
When i was pregnant,hubby and i decided to tell no one till we were 4 months along because i had health issues..Fastforward to this year,Brother in law and wife came to ours for holidays and i was shocked to see her big belle..We were on bb etc and it wasn't mentioned,hubby was shocked too and asked why they didn't talk and the wife said she thought her hubby had mentioned it..
Well,i said alright no wahala,i felt it was like revenge for not telling them about mine till 4 months.I now asked excitedly what are you having,SIS in law said she doesn't know,brother in law contradicted..evidently sis in law was lying..i said hmmm okayy.They had a great time in my home,behaviour off at times but no one is perfect jare.

Couple of weeks later hubby called them to ask how their ultrasound went,and asked if they have finally confirmed what they were having and brother in law told him the sex of the baby but asked him specifically not to tell me.Unfortunately for him,i heard when he said it.And i confirmed i was actually singled out.
These are people that are always disturbing me to help them do this and that etc.I was extremely offended and expected my hubby to at least speak up but as usual,nothing.
It has affected my relationship with them as it made me remember other instances where BIL's wife would tell me one thing and do another.I am now just cordial and courteous to them.No more extending myself and bending over backwards.I do what i can do for them and nothing more..They asked me for my daughters clothes and i gave them a bunch even though i was so annoyed as this is the baby they were hiding from me.They wrote list for me,help me buy this help me buy that..i bought because its for their older child oo but i didn't do it with my heart.
I felt soo betrayed as I thought we were close..I now generally avoid any unnecessary discussion with them and that's it.

MIL,I took as my own mother..I confided in her and she twisted my words and cussed me out..She later apologised but I cant forget it..Visited her for holidays.She acted cold to me for leaving the house on the morning of an occassion,not knowing i was going to arrange a gift for her.I later told her that's what i went to do and i'm sure she was ashamed of her behaviour.BUT the way she acted is still imprinted on my memory..This is a woman that is soo demanding and always calls me to buy things for her.

SIL..first day she saw me she said that the day they would want to make a decision as a family and my husband says let him ask his wife first,that someone will go to prison.She has insulted my parents as well..not to my face though..
Ofcourse i'm not totally blameless..I am very opinionated and speak my mind,lol.When i do that,i may appear abrasive when i don't intend to.

I spoke with my parents about all these and was told to do my best,just basically be polite and do what i need to do.
That has been my motto for this year.Arms length.MIL maybe is having a conscience crisis cos she's been calling too often.I say what i need to and that's it.I can't just get past things she said to me..I'm sure she would never speak to any of her kids the way she did to me and i told her that.
Family dynamics differ ...Especially when you feel the hubby doesn't have your back,so you fight your battles solo..It's been a learning curve for me and i'm doing as my parents have advised.No more saying my opinions ,i now just concur..yes and no..no more personal gists.

When you are told to look into a family before entering,it seems like a joke BUT if i had known what i know now,i'd have bailed.Hubby is a fantastic man but his behaviour makes me feel he is spineless and somehow makes me resent him.

LIFE....

Godmystrength. I am not married and I am not in your situation, I am advising as someone that has seen 2 family members in this situation.

You have tried. Now stop feeding your husbands laziness. That man is USING you to get his meals for life. He is SELFISH and would not hesitate to betray you if he finds a juicier deal. I understand from your story that he resorts to shouting/anger and any other means to get you to do what he wants. He is also MANIPULATIVE. I am glad you have realized this yourself because some people in your situation do not see it till after a long time.

My aunty has just moved into her retirement home and her husband who has never worked a day in his life shamelessly moved in with her. You best stop making excuses and make changes now! Or you will continue like this for the next 20-30 years of your life.

My other aunty, after she paid the rent and fed the family year in, year out, her husband just disappeared after 15 year of marriage, when she went to his family they told her she is not their business. She was just like you, very submissive, constantly borrowing from family members, all our family knew her, after a while they know not to expect their money back. The man showed up more than ten years later with an oyinbo woman.

I am sharing this because I truly feel for you. Please I beg you, stop making excuses and make changes now! You have received some quality advice on this forum, choose not to be this mans meal ticket. As I am typing I wish I could just snap a finger and get you out of your situation, I have seen this with my eyes and it never ends well for the woman. My prayer for you is that 2-3years from now, you will have a different story to tell.

@Godismystrenght
My dear sister I really feel your pains. Like everyother person has advised, I will still tow d same line. Pls and pls don't obtain an ATM card for your salary account, I made that mistake and am still paying for it (just waiting for the right time to tactically dispose of it).
Secondly, in as much as you are working, keep looking out for better jobs on your own, just like he said even if d stress is much finally the money will enter your account, and don't ever make the mistake of telling him how much you are earning in case you happen to land a better job. I equally made that mistake (infact I gave hussy my offert letter, so he knows all) and it didn't go down well.
One thing u have to understand is that most men will want to spend wifeys money even if they are earning more than the wife. If you keep disclosing your finances to him, my sister, you cannot save anything oo, for urself or ur baby. And believe me, rainy dayz will definately come when you will need to fall back to what you saved.
Its good you are beefing up your certificate, but in the meantime, make good use of what you already have.
Since he is depending on you to be bringing in the money,I think you need to toughen up a bit, stop giving him money if u used to, stop paying the bills its not your responsibility (especially the rent), cos if you keep giving him the impression that you can handle all those things (either from your salary or from borrowed funds) he will remain in his slumber. For christ sake, make him wake up, if he tells you next time to borrow, don't say no, but give him the impression that you are really making frantic effort to get the money but its not working, let him go out and do the borrowing himself.
Finally, pay your sister her money, let him go and worry about his brother, afterall, is he not supposed to be the one paying the bills?

I have more advice for you but let me stop here for now.
Best of luck.

....

Was ur husband working before you married him?
Is he educated at all?
The reason y i asked all these questions is to knw where the prob lies, because i dont understand y a man wld nt want to cater for his home.

Godmystrength: i can only smile. He pushed me to the wall o. in fact, he suggested i get the money from my parents and because i was just too ashamed of myself, i could not ask my parents (i have borrowed from them in the past and they didn't collect it back from me plus he is owing my mum some money he hasn't paid back), that was why i had to ask my sisters.

I have once opened a thread on NL concerning my case o but when i saw that some people were already resulting to insults and name calling, i asked for it to be deleted.

your husband is shameless, I'm soooo sorry to say, he is supposed to be giving money to your parents but instead he is comfortable to be dependent on them.

pls handle your finances, create a budget, save a little and never touch it. It will cause problems but you have to be strong. I really don't understand the kind of man that will sit and depend on the wife and her family.

as a godly person, I would have said be patient and long suffering but this man doesn't seem to deserve this so pls as a human being who is being taken advantage of, plan for your future because the way things are, you are on your own o!

since he wants you to take up his position, take it up fully and spend your money wisely... Not as he dictates but as you see fit! Dnt disrespect him o, just make your decisions and let him know why you did it. If he doesn't like it he should go and make his own money.

See I don't understand what is happening anymore,the story is same in 75percent of homes,the woman is the breadwinner while the men give variety of excuses.

I have been married for 8years and i have single handedly taken care of all the bills for 6years,my husband is 11 year older than me,He has an excuses for everything under sun,why he cant move forward and the latest one he tells me now is"I'm working on something,when it clicks i will let you know"just imagine.

When we met,he was working in the bank,he gave a customer loan,the loan went bad,he was suspended and asked to go recover the loan,he was home for 1year after which he was fired,yet he decides against better judgment to go work for the client he gave loan initially. the most annoying part is that you claim to be working for someone and you cant even boast 10k in your pocket at the end of the month,yet you have 3kids in school.

He comes home everyday and eats his food,he doesn't ask me how am managing,the kids school fees is paid ,he doesnt even ask,not to talk of other things.

Everyday I regret my decision,I am from a broken home,I am trying to end the cycle but its so hard. I am lucky I have a good job,thank fully am not in debt but it really frustrating hustling the way i do and seeing a grown ass man give excuses.
first he said his lack of having a car was stopping him from going out,I bought him a car,nothing has changed,i even offered to pay for his masters abroad,yet he doesn't want to do it,the thing tire me walahi.

I have prayed and fasted,but men...it seems God is upset with me because there has been no improvements oh...i have called his close friends to talk to him,but still same,i went to his family,his parents said i am a bad woman that i am complaining now,because he doesnt money. inshort am just tired.

Right now,i just to kick him out,he is of no use to me...am just holding and praying for divine intervention right now.

God please we need your intervention.

@Africaine, I feel so much for you. May God continue to be your source of comfort and strength. Have you tried this? During your next leave, tell him you've lost your job and see how he reacts. Or to be on the safer side, tell him they slashed he salaries of many people by 40%, because if you say half, someone like me will suspect foul play.
Which means funds will reduce drastically.
See his reaction. Determine new courses of action via that line.
This is the mistake I see women make. Close loved ones in fact. Catering for men as if they're babies. Why the hell are they men in the first place?
You shouldn't have bought him a car.
Anybody who likes should say I'm wicked but you should not have bought him a car. Its one thing for a man to say, I need some money to get a new shirt....or I need to recharge my fone......or borrow me money to give my siblings.......but you do not buy a lazy ass man a car!!! By doing so, you told him " you can be lazy all you like......I'll always be here to protect you and make you look like a normal human being in the eyes of others"

Marriage may be "for better for worse" but that second part, it requires quite a lot of wisdom.

The way I see this thing .....its like being in a relationship with a virgin. If she sleeps with the guy and they break up later, she'll resent him (mostly) cuz he deflowered her and left her. But if she remains with her innocence....then she feels she lost nothing.
If this stupid man pulls a jackie chan stunt anytime soon (which very well can happen......you should always be ready for anything madam), you'll resent him forever because you've spent a very long time trying to fix his mess and taking care of responsibilities that should be his.
Draw the line NOW! Delegate tasks, or employ division of labour. Specify which responsibilities would be yours and which would be his. Stop spoonfeeding him. You're a woman, money is never too much to take care of yourself. Enjoy yourself some more. Give yourself room to exhale. have beautiful moments. These are the things that will keep you from regretting your life with this man much later. Not that you won't regret. You will....which is normal. But you'll be able to say "thankGod I did this and that for myself and my kids, it would have been more painful if I spent it all on him"

Finally I'm sorry if I've been a bit too harsh. This is the first post I read this morning and made me very angry that a strong woman, whose strength could be channeled towards better things, has to be babysitting a grown ass epitome of laziness. But God sees you heart and may he continue to be your guardian.

@Africaine, I feel so much for you. May God continue to be your source of comfort and strength. Have you tried this? During your next leave, tell him you've lost your job and see how he reacts. Or to be on the safer side, tell him they slashed he salaries of many people by 40%, because if you say half, someone like me will suspect foul play.
Which means funds will reduce drastically.
See his reaction. Determine new courses of action via that line.
This is the mistake I see women make. Close loved ones in fact. Catering for men as if they're babies. Why the hell are they men in the first place?
You shouldn't have bought him a car.
Anybody who likes should say I'm wicked but you should not have bought him a car. Its one thing for a man to say, I need some money to get a new shirt....or I need to recharge my fone......or borrow me money to give my siblings.......but you do not buy a lazy ass man a car!!! By doing so, you told him " you can be lazy all you like......I'll always be here to protect you and make you look like a normal human being in the eyes of others"

Marriage may be "for better for worse" but that second part, it requires quite a lot of wisdom.

The way I see this thing .....its like being in a relationship with a virgin. If she sleeps with the guy and they break up later, she'll resent him (mostly) cuz he deflowered her and left her. But if she remains with her innocence....then she feels she lost nothing.
If this stupid man pulls a jackie chan stunt anytime soon (which very well can happen......you should always be ready for anything madam), you'll resent him forever because you've spent a very long time trying to fix his mess and taking care of responsibilities that should be his.
Draw the line NOW! Delegate tasks, or employ division of labour. Specify which responsibilities would be yours and which would be his. Stop spoonfeeding him. You're a woman, money is never too much to take care of yourself. Enjoy yourself some more. Give yourself room to exhale. have beautiful moments. These are the things that will keep you from regretting your life with this man much later. Not that you won't regret. You will....which is normal. But you'll be able to say "thankGod I did this and that for myself and my kids, it would have been more painful if I spent it all on him"

Finally I'm sorry if I've been a bit too harsh. This is the first post I read this morning and made me very angry that a strong woman, whose strength could be channeled towards better things, has to be babysitting a grown ass epitome of laziness. But God sees you heart and may he continue to be your guardian and your guide.

Make that 80percent.
I don't want to go into details

Africaine: See I don't understand what is happening anymore,the story is same in 75percent of homes,the woman is the breadwinner while the men give variety of excuses.

I have been married for 8years and i have single handedly taken care of all the bills for 6years,my husband is 11 year older than me,He has an excuses for everything under sun,why he cant move forward and the latest one he tells me now is"I'm working on something,when it clicks i will let you know"just imagine.

When we met,he was working in the bank,he gave a customer loan,the loan went bad,he was suspended and asked to go recover the loan,he was home for 1year after which he was fired,yet he decides against better judgment to go work for the client he gave loan initially. the most annoying part is that you claim to be working for someone and you cant even boast 10k in your pocket at the end of the month,yet you have 3kids in school.

He comes home everyday and eats his food,he doesn't ask me how am managing,the kids school fees is paid ,he doesnt even ask,not to talk of other things.

Everyday I regret my decision,I am from a broken home,I am trying to end the cycle but its so hard. I am lucky I have a good job,thank fully am not in debt but it really frustrating hustling the way i do and seeing a grown ass man give excuses.
first he said his lack of having a car was stopping him from going out,I bought him a car,nothing has changed,i even offered to pay for his masters abroad,yet he doesn't want to do it,the thing tire me walahi.

I have prayed and fasted,but men...it seems God is upset with me because there has been no improvements oh...i have called his close friends to talk to him,but still same,i went to his family,his parents said i am a bad woman that i am complaining now,because he doesnt money. inshort am just tired.

Right now,i just to kick him out,he is of no use to me...am just holding and praying for divine intervention right now.

cococandy: Make that 80percent.
I don't want to go into details

Where are these people popping from

I know of no single family (from 5 years marriage to 20+) that the man isnot a breadwinner
Where do all these families whose men dont work come from

bankers, lawyers, trader, they are doing something

Whats the basis for 75 or 80 percent

Families where the man is the sole breadwinner as in wife is full time housewife may not be up to 20percent.

The rest of the 80percent, the man isn't the sole bread winner with a greater percentage having the wives as the bread winners.

Maybe you should try an anonymous poll.
Find out what people you don't know have to say about their fathers.

Sad thing is some have jobs so money isn't the problem.


But I'd rather not bring another angle to this thread sha.

pickabeau1:

Where are these people popping from

I know of no single family (from 5 years marriage to 20+) that the man isnot a breadwinner
Where do all these families whose men dont work come from

bankers, lawyers, trader, they are doing something

Whats the basis for 75 or 80 percent

pickabeau1:

Where are these people popping from

I know of no single family (from 5 years marriage to 20+) that the man isnot a breadwinner
Where do all these families whose men dont work come from

bankers, lawyers, trader, they are doing something

Whats the basis for 75 or 80 percent

The truth is you will never know until their wives open up and tell you what's the koko in their marriage.

You see the lazy men looking happy, plump and chubby, thanks to their wives that clothes,feed and shelter them .

To make matters worst the man's family will be accusing the wife of enjoying their son's money alone.

True.
I know women who buy the family property in the husband's name to avoid having any outsider criticize the man as not being man enough.


It wouldn't be so bad if these women get the respect and support they deserve.
As I'm typing my SIL's colleague and friend followed her home to spend the day yesterday before leaving this morning because her husband beat her up and sent her out of the house. Which she's paying rent for BTW.

softsparkyy:
The truth is you will never know until their wives open up and tell you what's the koko in their marriage.

You see the lazy men looking happy, plump and chubby, thanks to their wives that clothes,feed and shelter them .

To make matters worst the man's family will be accusing the wife of enjoying their son's money alone.

softsparkyy:
The truth is you will never know until their wives open up and tell you what's the koko in their marriage.

You see the lazy men looking happy, plump and chubby, thanks to their wives that clothes,feed and shelter them .

To make matters worst the man's family will be accusing the wife of enjoying their son's money alone.

I am talking of a wide range of people that includes people senior to me and junior to me
I know them very well.. however you may have a point

cococandy: Families where the man is the sole breadwinner as in wife is full time housewife may not be up to 20percent.
The rest of the 80percent, the man isn't the sole bread winner with a greater percentage having the wives as the bread winners.
Maybe you should try an anonymous poll.
Find out what people you don't know have to say about their fathers.
Sad thing is some have jobs so money isn't the problem.
But I'd rather not bring another angle to this thread sha.

You are mixing two unrelated statements
Whther the woman is outearning the husband is not the same thing as a man who does not want to provide
I have friends who outearn their husbands but the man is not a sit at home husban waiting for his wife to buy things for him

Your initial statement was 80 percent of households you know of have their non-breadwinner husbands feeding off their wives
Was that the initial statement

hmmmmmmmm.....with all these things am reading, marriage no be moi moi o........

one think I love this thread for is the real life situations and matured advice from people who have been there. this keeps me wondering why the moderator has not shifted this to front page all these while.

MODS abeg do the needful.

by the way, where is Babymama1

Please this thread should not be moved to the front page so as not to derail the contents of the thread. A lot of people are quietly reading and learning from here based on the very mature and useful contributions coming from various posters.

The moment it gets to FP, it becomes a mad house with all kinds of 'elements' throwing jabs back & forth and before you say jack, the whole thread has lost it's vibe and everyone runs away. Please let's keep it this way for now.....mature, focused and very intimate discussions going on here.

Good job to all the posters so far....Please let's avoid bickering and un-necessary arguements abeg to avoid the thread losing steam.

Godmystrength:
certification wise, i am seriously working on that.
thinking about the BC.
My folks are aware (or how do i explain to them the reason i am always borrowing from them)they just know and encourage me. My mum has called us both at one time to advise us on how to be prudent and plan well. She was even suggesting that instead of paying that much for rent, we should be thinking of starting to plan for building our own house even if it is just a small place. The way he lambasted me thay day when we got back home, i will never forget in my life.
His folks are aware. To them nothing wrong with what is happening. it is a normal thing. As i am encouraging him to get a job doing, they are discouraging him that business is his calling.
I had to pay the rent because the old rent has been long due and rent has been increase by a 100k and we had to move out asap. NEPA bills was already piling up plus the unpaid rent. And we heard from reliable source that building will soon be sold. We weren't the one given the quit notice, it was given to other tenants. If we were evicted, where will i go to with my baby?

Please pay your sister. Its your family that seems to always there for you dont burn your cables with them

You need to stop borrowing and start better planning, you were given great advice on the other thread, stop acting so helpless and lamenting without taking action, pay your sister and NO MORE LOANS. Have small savings for emergencies and live within your means. NO ATM. Heavens will not fall, stop trying to form "good wife" by giving him the money when you know he is not financially prudent and then be left looking for loans up and down and be left looking for how to pay up loans

aisha2:

Please pay your sister. Its your family that seems to always there for you dont burn your cables with them

You need to stop borrowing and start better planning, you were given great advice on the other thread, stop acting so helpless and lamenting without taking action, pay your sister and NO MORE LOANS. Have small savings for emergencies and live within your means. NO ATM.

I am not lamenting. I only asked for an advice on who to pay first. And i stated what the loan was for. For the RENT. I won't want to be thrown out of the house. I am no longer helpless just that at times you need to just let out somethings instead of bottling it all up. This is a faceless forum. I'll rather type away my heart here than bottle it all up to the point of breaking. Questions were asked and i was only responding. So sorry if i appear to be lamenting and helpless on NL.

Advices are just theories until applied. And you will never know the outcome until you have applied them. Sometimes, the results we envisage are not what we actually get in the real life scenario. I am the only one that knows how it is with me. Don't be conclusive that i am acting helpless and lamenting without taking action.

aisha2:

Please pay your sister. Its your family that seems to always there for you dont burn your cables with them

You need to stop borrowing and start better planning, you were given great advice on the other thread, stop acting so helpless and lamenting without taking action, pay your sister and NO MORE LOANS. Have small savings for emergencies and live within your means. NO ATM. Heavens will not fall, stop trying to form "good wife" by giving him the money when you know he is not financially prudent and then be left looking for loans up and down and be left looking for how to pay up loans

It seems you didn't get the reason for the loan. Where did i say i gave him money. I said his brother gave him money to run an errand for him and we spent the money in treating my baby when he was sick. I had earlier borrowed money from my sister to pay for our rent. The brother wants his money back and sister wants his money back. SO i was asking who should i pay first. I didn't see any trying to form good wife here. I just want to be sure it will be the right thing if i pay my sister first before someone will say i am selfish and only thinking of my own side. I am not looking for any loans up and down.

Godmystrength: It seems you didn't get the reason for the loan. I never said i gave him money. I said his brother gave him money to run an errand for him and we spent the money in treating my baby when he was sick. I had earlier borrowed money from my sister to pay for our rent. The brother wants his money back and sister wants his money back. SO i was asking who should i pay first. I didn't see any trying to form good wife here. I just want to be sure it will be the right thing if i pay my sister first before someone will say i am selfish and only thinking of my own side. I am not looking for any loans up and down.

I understand, pay your sister first and then his brother next month, after the rent no more loans.
10% of what you earn should be deducted via standing order to a savings account. Do a budget for food, and the necessities and leave the rest.
I will send you a private mail if you dont mind

aisha2:

I understand, pay your sister first and then his brother next month, after the rent no more loans.
10% of what you earn should be deducted via standing order to a savings account. Do a budget for food, and the necessities and leave the rest.
I will send you a private mail if you dont mind

Okay

Godmystrength: Okay

Sent oh, I dont know how these things work, I think you are supposed to accept it or something then we will be able to speak privately

edited

aisha2:

Sent oh, I dont know how these things work, I think you are supposed to accept it or something then we will be able to speak privately

okay. lemme check.