beeevan: This is scary ooo, asking ones husband to go for HIV test out of no where will definitely kill something in that marriage if he is innocent(never cheated) , what really is the way forward




Snazzy I really don't understand how a woman who never cheated can keep a positive HIV result to herself, that means she has been making love to him knowing her positive status, things dey happen oo.

snazzylove:

I asked her dat question oo. But she said because hubby was not always around it was easy for her to hide it. That the few times they made luv she insisted they use condom based on her doctors advice, and luckily for her, CDs were given to them at the antenatal class, so it was easy for her to use it as a cover up.

My sister, things dey happen sha o!

beeevan:




I can't stop imagining an innocent woman discovering a positive HIV status and still being able to contain it within herself. Once an innocent woman contacts HIV, her husband is the next person she confronts. For this one to keep to herself suggests that she might not be that blameless and innocent after all. Which man will not question why a doc suggested condom for his already pregnant wife? She might have tailored this gist to absolve herself,nah them sabi .



Congratulations on your new baby dear, may God protect and preserve him for you.

beeevan:
I can't stop imagining an innocent woman discovering a positive HIV status and still being able to contain it within herself. Once an innocent woman contacts HIV, her husband is the next person she confronts. For this one to keep to herself suggests that she might not be that blameless and innocent after all. Which man will not question why a doc suggested condom for his already pregnant wife? She might have tailored this gist to absolve herself,nah them sabi .
Congratulations on your new baby dear, may God protect and preserve him for you.

aisha2:

Exactly. My experience is usually immediate anger and most times they call their spouses immediately who come in mostly reluctantly for counseling and testing.

snazzylove:

Na dem really sabi my dear. I didn't go poking my nose into whatever it is she told her husband that her doc advised.

One really need to be careful and be as close to ur spouse as much as you can. Never giving room for little misbehaviours. Talk, talk, and continue talking with each other. Make communication a hobby, that way, it will be easy to handle challenges when they arise.

Thanks dear. Hugs

beeevan:
Things like this is the reason I don't subscribe to privacy in marriage, some things could have been discovered and nipped in the bud if only couples paid more attention to each other. I find it hard to fathom how a spouse could be on drugs for months, even years without the other knowing.

aisha2:

Exactly, all those who shout and insult spouses who suspect their partners for checking their phones are on their own.

If my spouse starts acting funny, I ask and dont satisfactory answers I will check oh, if it can be nipped I know what to do.

When I was dating if I see funny things I ask you to unlock your phone so I can check. That saved me from 2 bad relationships and I thank God everyday I saw what I saw on those phones and saved myself from heartache.

My spouse on the other hand is so open from day 1 so I never even considered touching his phone, all I need to know I ask and I am told immediately.

snazzylove: .

beeevan:
Really on their ownoooo , people hide a lot in phones, i should be able to do whatever I please with my spouse 's phone. People won't do certain things if they know it will be discovered. I always say, a woman won't be scared of her husband 's phone if she is sure he isn't hiding something , avoiding his phone like plague shows that you know he has something to hide but don't want to discover it to safeguard your heart.

sunvick: For that woman to hide dis most dreaded disease for days upto even weeks shows she ain't absorbed from dis crime. She can even do worst than that.
OR
She contracted it outside n tried using cd so as to save hubby frm been infected, not knowing hubby has already upgraded his status b4 her.

beeevan: This is scary ooo, asking ones husband to go for HIV test out of no where will definitely kill something in that marriage if he is innocent(never cheated) , what really is the way forward

one could just include it as part of a regular bi annual check up. Not making it solely about the HIV test may help to distract that that is what it's about. Just convince him it's a family health awareness thing
Thank God for some companies that make sure they conduct tests every so often for their staff. All yours truly has to do is to demand the result upon release. Every woman has a right to know what she's opening her legs to receive. Even the husbands should be concerned too even if they trust their wives. All those manicure and pedicure and sharing needles in the hair salon can prove to be a risk if madam is the careless type. I don't even want to mention infidelity on the woman's part cos them dudes fit swear for me .




Snazzy I really don't understand how a woman who never cheated can keep a positive HIV result to herself, that means she has been making love to him knowing her positive status, things dey happen oo.

right? Or maybe she found an excuse to avoid love making. Hmm

aisha2:

On their own totally. Was it not through checking phone I discovered someone just wanted to marry me to cover up his sexual orientation? I would have been crying and lamenting now because I chose ignorant "bliss" its not for me abeg.

If we are honest and open with each other then we have nothing to hide. Why would anyone be screaming dont touch each others phones as if its a worst crime than the cheating itself?

beeevan:
As in gay?wow!

aisha2:

Yes oh Gay as shit. Telling some guy that am a "good girl" and no one would suspect that after 2 kids if I like I should leave. I had my suspiscions something was not right and he was extremely secretive and would have so many nud-e pictures of ladies on his phone all to cover up.

Now I hear he is getting married I just feel sad because if you say something it will be as if you are jealous but when you ask women to do diligence they would rather be carried away with being a wife. The Lady he is marrying now I am sure if she is observant she may see the signs yet decide to ignore or worst still decide she can "manage" or "change" him then a year from now come writing Nairaland story

Funny thing is the guy is a church front liner lol.

ayaomoade: I have been following this thread and i must say that it is very interesting to see women support each other. My prayer is that God will make our homes heaven on earth.

I also agree with checking of phones. I check hubby's phone from time to time and he knows i do. Not that i don't trust him. I trust him but men can be careless in terms of their friendship with ladies. While they think they have a friendly relationship with a lady, the lady might be plotting an impeachment order against the wife and preparing to swear herself into his life permanently.

I check his phone to know more about him. Who he talks to and their line of conversation. I like to be in the know and i know how to handle it well.

hispinkolo: ^^

Those that cover tracks will definitely slip up and get caught one day.

BABE3: ^^^ The energy to cover your tracks can't/won't be enormous in this day and age. Except you go looking for hair strands and DNA samples on this shirts and pants.


"Instinct will go off" ke? Behavioral change could be due to anything.

That's why I said it's tedious to keep going through phones without having any tangible reason to be suspicious.

"My husband has been moody for the past couple of days, let me go through his phone, he's probably cheating"?

My point? Pray you end up with a man/ or a woman that'll be smart enough to use a condom/take precautions if/when cheating.