crackhaus:
@emboldened, is that the only proof of headship I gave? Or you're doing your selective reading again.

Relationship101:
And you end your comment with an insult 'Idiot'. Seems you sound like a lunatic as I am.
And just like you said, Nairaland has a lot of rooms for plenty of hypocrisy.

Relationship101: Kudos to all the women (and men) that are standing up against domestic abuse. Africans has experienced a large dose of abuse (especially to the women) and we need to stand up against this devilish act. I love women. They are queens. They are strong, energetic, important and compassionate. Damn! Did I forget to mention that they are sexy?
.....................
BUT*clears throat* for those idiots that think men are the HEAD which automatically place women somewhere beneath, I pray you fall into river niger and drown (fortunately for you, that isn't going to happen) but I still wish bad for you. To all those stupid women that has been brainwashed into thinking that they need to be beaten, harassed or maltreated for them to BE a woman, I pray you go to hell fire. You have lost your sense of becoming 'yourself'. You've sold your soul to an ideology that is contrary to the ethics of being a human being. To all those clergy that preaches 'submission' to women. I come against you with all my might. You have destroyed our women. You have made our wife remain in an abusive home simply because they need to be submissive to their fucking husband. What actually is submission? Is it the 21st century term for slavery. Woe unto you! You have made the teenagers in my street think that they need to FEAR men and give them respects they don't deserve simply because they are men.
Marriage is not a hierarchy of positions. It is partnership. It is BEING together. It is LOVE. It is kissing all night by the moon light without any thought for tomorrow. Women are not baby making machines. Their DUTY is not to be used.
A marriage without children can also be a sweet marriage if both parties agree together. Don't call the woman witch. (Yes I am talking to you the useless in-laws). Go get a job and stay away from peoples life. Women pride is my pride. Women courage is my courage. Women freedom is my freedom. I love women.

Acidosis: The originator of marriage called MEN Heads of their families. You a self-accalimed relationship "expert" says the man is not the head

OP, don't you think you're going m a d?

vicoson: I know full well that every woman needs a head in the home. In fact every woman wants a head. Any woman who comes out here to say she doesn't need a head either married the wrong person or is a wrong person herself.

avuekwe: I do agreee with some of the points the OP raised but some of them sha are somehow
no weapon fashioned by ranting men on Nairaland against the OP shall prosper.

Relationship101:
So who told you that every woman needs a head? Did EVERY woman tell you that they NEED head? And why is it necessary for a woman to need head. You mean she can't think and do things from her own judgement?

vicoson: Why don't u ask them? Well mine needs cos she won't let me be the tail. Should we send her to sambisa?

femilicious:

Can I ask you, apart from the part where it says woman be submissive, what other part of the bible do you know off your head!

femilicious:


OMG, OMG, OMG, if I was single I would marry you this instant

EnlightenedSoul:

Respectfully, your one thread states otherwise.

"Complaint, complaint,complaint. Nagging,nagging,nagging. She is at the centre of the universe, everybody must worship her, she must be in charge.

Trust me, with this pride I made sure she wields zero power in my house."

vicoson: exactly my point. I gave her the power and it was too much for her. How did I do it? I decided not to give her any opportunity to disrespect me. Take all the decisions, do as you like, do not consult me about anything. Is that not what every woman wants?

EnlightenedSoul:


That right there is the definition of being SINGLE.

vicoson: How can you be married to a man u cannot submit to? It's either you a married or single.

Take all the decisions, do as you like, do not consult me about anything. Is that not what every woman wants?

EnlightenedSoul:

How can you be SINGLE in a marriage. It's either you're single or married, no?

vicoson: It depends on what you call marriage. An ideal marriage is one where there is harmony. But when a woman enters marriage seeking to compete with instead of complementing her man, then there is no harmony rather you have tenants in the same house which you mistaken to be marriage.

EnlightenedSoul:

Please, what do you mean when you say "compete"? So we're clear.

vicoson: what is the meaning of equality which women are clamoring for? How do you apply it in marriage without it resulting in competition? You don't take all the decisions all the time. You decide today, I decide tomorrow. Me think the role of a woman is akin to that of a special adviser. You give your advice or your objection while the final decision is his. Let me give you an instance for you to know where I am coming from. I decided to name my first daughter without consulting my wife cos I knew she would object it even though the name was a nice Christian name. She actually complained about it and proved me right.

kilokeys: for a long time I hvent felt this angry


@op
if I am the world's highest paid assassin, I'll kill u for free.

EnlightenedSoul:

The ideal marriage is a partnership. When partners in a marriage value equality, they see each other as equals, treat each other with respect, consider each other’s needs, and support on another. Equal partners agree on goals together and work as a team to achieve these goals. They show equal commitment to the relationship and provide mutual support and nurturing. Each values the other’s work life as highly as his or her own, even if that work life doesn’t include employment outside the home - each piece is crucial for a healthy whole.

What's a "special advisor" who's advice always goes unheeded, or who's counsel isn't sought?

What does your example prove, but the fallout they occurs when you "Take all the decisions, do as you like, do not consult about anything".

Why rob your wife of her say? Why not choose a name you both agree on? She was probably more angry about your complete disregard than she was about the name itself.

vicoson: what if there is no name I chose that she will agree on? Obviously you do not get it. Some women are just out to rebel.

vicoson: Please note that I said I refused to consult her because I knew she would object it. Why would she agree with me in the first place when she is the head and the neck?

EnlightenedSoul:

You can take turns naming the children, or come to an agreed compromise - give and take. You have nine months to choose a set of names, it's not so difficult. Disagreeing about every little thing just to disagree is not adult behavior. Sometimes you have to take one for the team. There has to be a balance.



Head? Neck?
You're obviously going to come across disagreements you have to work through, and compromise on. Going solo willy-nilly opens the door for disagreements and further arguments. It creates the friction-filled atmosphere for your partner to do the same, leading to break-down and instability. It isn't worth it, my opinion. That's just how I see it.

Have a good one.