OlamiB: So sorry if this will look like generalization, but this is my humble opinion about married people. Things contained here are what I personally see happen among married people,that doesn't mean it will apply to you.
THE WIVES
1) Tends to love and give attention to her kids more than husband; I dnt know why this should be, but its true. This reminds me of when my sister and her husband came for visitation with their little baby girl, I cnt recall how many times she kept on telling her husband not to let the kid fall despite the fact that he was carrying the baby o? A good wife should know how to balance the love between her husband and her baby. She knows the husband first and they both own the child.
2) Some have sex only for making babies; maybe the married men here can attest to it. I have heard enough of 'I will close my vagina for him as soon as am through with having kids' this doesn't make sense at all, I once read in a news paper where a married woman said she only has sex with her hubby for baby making. If Ɣ☺u r in this category pls dnt complain of adultery from ur husband's side
3) Speaking ill of your husband to your kids; please stop if Ɣ☺u r among those turning father's against their kids. No wonder a 14year old boy in my street almost killed his father with cutlass just because of a minor fight between his parents. My mum does this too, but thank God I have a good nature I would have done something bad to him. Dnt tell them about how Ɣ☺u were the one that payed the school fee, how he didn't pay for your Ghana braids some even tell the kids how the dad wanted them to abort the baby in the first instance
4) lack of appreciation; one thing mum has taughtme is to learn to appreciate. Ɣ☺u fail to appreciate him because Ɣ☺u think its his duty to pay for school fee? Pay the house rents? Feed you and the kids? Yeah, its his duty but a little appreciation does wonder sometimes. Learn to say 'thank you' after he must have payed the school fee and every other FEE. Just know that some men are out there who doesn't do up to half of what he's doing
African culture has it that the man is the head of the family, so no sane African woman should get married if she doesn't see a man being her head.

greatgod2012:

and what aboutTHE HUSBANDS
Or are they not part of the married Nigerians
Or probably, WIVES are only the evil married Nigerians and HUSBANDS are the angels/saints in Nigeria marriages





Wives don suffer...........

OlamiB: So sorry if this will look like generalization, but this is my humble opinion about married people. Things contained here are what I personally see happen among married people,that doesn't mean it will apply to you.
THE WIVES
1) Tends to love and give attention to her kids more than husband; I dnt know why this should be, but its true. This reminds me of when my sister and her husband came for visitation with their little baby girl, I cnt recall how many times she kept on telling her husband not to let the kid fall despite the fact that he was carrying the baby o? A good wife should know how to balance the love between her husband and her baby. She knows the husband first and they both own the child.
2) Some have sex only for making babies; maybe the married men here can attest to it. I have heard enough of 'I will close my vagina for him as soon as am through with having kids' this doesn't make sense at all, I once read in a news paper where a married woman said she only has sex with her hubby for baby making. If Ɣ☺u r in this category pls dnt complain of adultery from ur husband's side
3) Speaking ill of your husband to your kids; please stop if Ɣ☺u r among those turning father's against their kids. No wonder a 14year old boy in my street almost killed his father with cutlass just because of a minor fight between his parents. My mum does this too, but thank God I have a good nature I would have done something bad to him. Dnt tell them about how Ɣ☺u were the one that payed the school fee, how he didn't pay for your Ghana braids some even tell the kids how the dad wanted them to abort the baby in the first instance
4) lack of appreciation; one thing mum has taughtme is to learn to appreciate. Ɣ☺u fail to appreciate him because Ɣ☺u think its his duty to pay for school fee? Pay the house rents? Feed you and the kids? Yeah, its his duty but a little appreciation does wonder sometimes. Learn to say 'thank you' after he must have payed the school fee and every other FEE. Just know that some men are out there who doesn't do up to half of what he's doing
African culture has it that the man is the head of the family, so no sane African woman should get married if she doesn't see a man being her head.

Kanwulia: Another 'masculinity-whiny' thread!

DEAR AFRICAN MEN. . .YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW! DEAL WITH IT!
If you give love. . . you will get love.
IF YOU TREAT MARRIAGE AS A MEANS OF SOCIAL RECOGNITION. . . YOU WILL GET THE SAME!

The children will ALWAYS COME FIRST. . . EVEN BEFORE MARRIAGE! We will always use YOU to get them. . . .and dump you afterwards!


*next topic please*

azuson:



You are right.my wife is a good wife she is doing very good in appreciating and is making me to do more

greatgod2012:

and what aboutTHE HUSBANDS
Or are they not part of the married Nigerians
Or probably, WIVES are only the evil married Nigerians and HUSBANDS are the angels/saints in Nigeria marriages





Wives don suffer...........

OlamiB:
Seriously? Anyways am not yet married, but I will try to balance the two.

Kanwulia: Another 'masculinity-whiny' thread!

DEAR AFRICAN MEN. . .YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW! DEAL WITH IT!
If you give love. . . you will get love.
IF YOU TREAT MARRIAGE AS A MEANS OF SOCIAL RECOGNITION. . . YOU WILL GET THE SAME!

The children will ALWAYS COME FIRST. . . EVEN BEFORE MARRIAGE! We will always use YOU to get them. . . .and dump you afterwards!


*next topic please*

SAMBARRY: I tire o.all this raving winnings, what's it all about.



anyway op I agree with you on everything except don't say negative stuffs to your kids about their dad . even the Bible says the righteous are as bold as a lion. If your character is good or worthy of emulation as a father, why should you be bothered or afraid of your wife speaking ill about you to them. Hunnn? No answer abi?




it is only men who knows their ways are not clean get pained by that. Is it not good for the kids to KNOW THE KIND OF FATHER THEY HAVE, GOOD OR BAD AND KNOW HIS CAPABILITIES


in like manner if your ways are good, she will say pleasant things about you. It's the men who have attitude defects especially in fatherhood that should check themselves if they are SO PAINED ABOUT WHAT THEIR MOMS TELL THEM CONCERNING THEIR DAD.PERIOD!

Kanwulia: Another 'masculinity-whiny' thread!

DEAR AFRICAN MEN. . .YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW! DEAL WITH IT!
If you give love. . . you will get love.
IF YOU TREAT MARRIAGE AS A MEANS OF SOCIAL RECOGNITION. . . YOU WILL GET THE SAME!

The children will ALWAYS COME FIRST. . . EVEN BEFORE MARRIAGE! We will always use YOU to get them. . . .and dump you aft
see mentality smh
*next topic please*

OlamiB:
It still doesn't make sence speaking ill of ur husband to the kids. What good will it do you? Will the child stp the bad attitude in the father? Rather it builts hatred against the man. I know what m saying, there is nothing the man will do that the child will appreciate, only if God. Grant Ɣ☺u a good child.

thorpido: OlamiB,do you live in Mushin?

SAMBARRY: In addition sef if you are doing the right thing you will always want your wife to talk about you to your kids because you know your ways are worthy of emulation and you are proud of your character. Moreover kids are not stopeed.they see things.if what their mom says always match with what they see, then, case closed. .....next

SAMBARRY: yes o.it will stop the bad attitude because when he is conscious that the mother is saying unpleasant things to his kids about how irresponsible their father is and how their father prefers to spend his money in the beer parlour and street ladies than on his kids, hr will start feeling ashamed that his kids a aware of his evil ways and that will force him to change for the better. In fact if he cannot change because of his wife he will change because of his kids because he won't want to appear in front of his kids that he has failed them. Those are the reasons o.


you cannot eat you cake and digest it.you can't be a father and still act irresponsible.stop letting all this men think they can be irresponsible or abandon every thing to the mother and when the child is some body tomorrow he will say that is my daughter. She took after me.let them know that he wasn't there for them.

OlamiB:
Where is that supposed to be?
Ɣ☺u think all this happens in slums? I live in an estate, so?

OlamiB:
There are some things the children doesn't know.

OlamiB:
In this Nigeria?

OlamiB: The most surprising thing to me now is that most teenagers no longer feel the loss or absence of their fathers. Some of my friends have lost their dads and from my point of view they show no remorse unlike when its the mother. Parents should please try to unite ur family o! It won't be good if ur child is happiest each time Ɣ☺u travel, especially the dads. Stp being a monster. I used to be very happy as a small girl each time dad says he is travelling. Tank God m grown up now

cococandy: If a man is a good dad,he doesn't need his wife to launder his image to his kids.
And vice versa.
That speaking ill of the father is a moot point.
It's that simple. You can't bad mouth a parent who is up and doing. The kids can see things for themselves.