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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? (2616 Views)
You're Not A Nigerian If You Didn't Do These Things As A Child / Lessons To Teach Your Daughter That She Will Never Forget... By Alison Bryant / Girl, 6, Who Was Sent To Her Room As Punishment Is One Of The Youngest People To (2) (3) (4)
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by texanomaly(f): 12:01pm On Sep 25, 2014 |
Kay17: Fear is fear. As zeemoore, and others here have said, obeying out of fear only teaches you how to not get caught. Teaching a child to understand how his actions affect outcomes, produces a child with the tools needed to solve problems, not hide from them. 1 Like |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Nobody: 4:16pm On Sep 25, 2014 |
Kay17:This is why I stay off this section The debates here are usually endless Mr Kay, I hope you hold on to whatever you feel is the right way to train up a child Cuss, spank, yell, tie him to an ant's nest so he'd remember the pains and the pains will in turn make him a better man Do whatever you like with your child Afterall, the child is yours and not someone else' I can only imagine the "sweet memories" he'll have of his childhood when he grows up *** I'm sincerely sorry if you find my post offensive |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Kay17: 12:38pm On Sep 26, 2014 |
zeemoore: No offence taken. But I think you are adopting a counterproductive approach that all pains are bad and must be avoided at all costs. One would want an emotional healthy child, and it must be taught that pain is part of life. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by qstar(m): 8:26pm On Sep 26, 2014 |
zeemoore: Fantasy much!! Her Lordship, Madam! In which section is your opinion binding and accepted by all? Advanced myopia or delusions? We are here to share ideas and to think you'd get no counter-opinions... Did i say "fantasy"? |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Nobody: 9:57pm On Sep 26, 2014 |
Kay17:I also think you're adopting a counterproductive approach that gentle discipline/loving guidance is bad and must be avoided at all cost The most effective "discipline" for a child is always positive, loving and gentle Children learn best when they feel heard and valued, not when they feel on the defensive I believe it's really not necessary to spank a child to have him understand the “error” of his ways. I believe in communicating in a way that teaches rather than punishes I believe in disciplining a child in ways that doesn't involve violence ***** I know this question I'm about to ask is gossipy and none of my business but I'm curious to know, are you a family man/ do you have child(ren)? 2 Likes |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by UyiIredia(m): 12:09am On Sep 27, 2014 |
texanomaly: I wrote an article about alternatives to corporal punishment. I'll read the article but believe it or not Tex, corporal punishment has its place here. People dey too stubborn for here and dats just it. However, being an elder son, I can authoritatively say force doesn't always work though sometimes it's necessary; sometimes one must simply leave people to life or try to talk gently. Flogging to me was preferable to insults. Staying in a spot and hearing all your flaws and insults can be really depressing; that I wouldn't want to do to anyone; cuz I didn't like it. I partially agree with the statement because the last statement is something I strongly disagree with. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by texanomaly(f): 12:20am On Sep 27, 2014 |
UyiIredia: Once you read the article come back and let me know what you think. I did not say corporal punishment is wrong. Nor did I say it should not be used. I simply gave alternatives. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by UyiIredia(m): 12:20am On Sep 27, 2014 |
zeemoore: Sometimes cussing and spanking are necessary, though one must be very careful with cursing, words are very powerful and many African parents are too quick to curse, I didn't like it but I did realize that it was for my good; though sometimes I was sure my parents were in the wrong. On some occasions they flogged me when angry; then there was the unrealistic expectation they would flog me in my 20's. I was never going to allow that. Fact is, that flogging or not kids will be stubborn. But a kid who isn't given some spanking is more likely not to be moved by life's hard knocks. We have these psychopaths, it's best we don't breed them. What I will strongly speask against is torture; what some parents do in the name of discipline is unacceptable. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by UyiIredia(m): 12:41am On Sep 27, 2014 |
texanomaly: Your suggestions are good but there are factors which hinder them. In fact, my parents attempted some of these techniques; for example, we had a family forum where everyone aired their views. and why I preferred my mum to my DD was because she was the go-to person. The factors are as follows 1) Lack of patience on the side of parents 2) The presence of bad influence on the part of kids 3) Lack of availability of the parents due to the need to earn a living amongst other things 4) I should also add that trends in the wider society will rub off on kids. Some kids are smarter, some are stronger but kids are inquisitive and intuitive. As you yourself said, they watch us. What you suggest will be easier to achieve in a village setting or for parents who are fortunate to have a flexible schedule. For working class people, it's difficult. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by texanomaly(f): 1:00am On Sep 27, 2014 |
UyiIredia: Are you serious? I can't imagine EVER cussing at a child. Talk less my own child. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by UyiIredia(m): 1:06am On Sep 27, 2014 |
texanomaly: You are very gentle person as far as I can tell, so I'm not surprised you would say this. I will admit that cussing and spanking aren't desirable, my parents knew that much. I certainly won't flog a child for the things I got flogged for and I won't want to curse BUT every person has their limit and circumstance. That's all I can say. Of course, I won't cuss a little child, I'd have to be really annoyed to do that. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by texanomaly(f): 1:12am On Sep 27, 2014 |
UyiIredia: If you can't afford kids don't have them. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by UyiIredia(m): 1:15am On Sep 27, 2014 |
texanomaly: Fair enough. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by texanomaly(f): 1:21am On Sep 27, 2014 |
UyiIredia: Hey...You don't answer emails anymore sef? |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by UyiIredia(m): 1:27am On Sep 27, 2014 |
texanomaly:It's been sometime I checked them. I'm somewhat occupied. And don't forget my phone was stolen. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by texanomaly(f): 1:31am On Sep 27, 2014 |
UyiIredia: It's been sometime I checked them. I'm somewhat occupied. And don't forget my phone was stolen. Well I've sent you 2 emails checking up on you. I worry you know. ![]() ![]() |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by UyiIredia(m): 1:34am On Sep 27, 2014 |
texanomaly:Thanks. I'll check. 2 Likes |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Nobody: 8:31am On Sep 27, 2014 |
UyiIredia:The part in bold, It's never ok, in my opinion, to swear/cuss/ use profane words at your child or anyone else's Cussing is certainly not a kind or an intelligent way to express oneself. I do understand frustrations and being overwhelmed sometimes makes words you really don't mean to say slip out but the constant use of nasty words is what I'm not in support of It's a bad example to set before your child. When you cuss, they turn it around and cuss at you too (remember kids learn fast) The world is too messed up to raise a delinquent and depressed child I believe good communication, love and limits, when practiced consistently helps in raising a happy and healthy child |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Nobody: 8:32am On Sep 27, 2014 |
zeemoore: I love this comment. 1 Like |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Kay17: 10:10am On Sep 27, 2014 |
zeemoore: Again you are assuming the kids are gentle, mature and rational. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by texanomaly(f): 5:06pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
Kay17: That is what parenting is all about. It is our job as parents to teach them coping skills that will help them become mature, rational adults. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Nobody: 7:18pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
Kay17:Again, you got my post twisted, and this time, I really don't know if it's intentional or not How does grooming a child in more humane ways rather than inflicting pains in the name of discipline translates to moa assuming kids are "mature/rational" ? Again, I ask, do you have kids? 1 Like |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Nobody: 7:33pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
It only confuses a child. And it often makes him harden his heart. Heartless kids start like that. A good talk often sorts it. Don't let him start to think "last last na cane'. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Kay17: 10:09pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
zeemoore: Again, you got my post twisted, and this time, I really don't know if it's intentional or not Wish you all the best. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Kay17: 10:11pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
texanomaly: But before they get mature and rational how do you deal with them with a method suitable for mature and rational people?! Isn't it a misfit of methods? 1 Like |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Kay17: 10:12pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
shoefreak: It only confuses a child. And it often makes him harden his heart. Heartless kids start like that. Even a good talk with adults leaves a lot unsaid. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by texanomaly(f): 10:23pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
Kay17: Did you read the article? I've dealt with some of the most stubborn, and even violent children. The techniques in the article work. Of course there may be times when things blow up, but that can be dealt with too. I'm not saying spanking doesn't have it's place. I just feel it should be a last resort. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Kay17: 10:29pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
texanomaly: @tex, I'm not going to doubt your communication skills, however I'm not just satisfied. Maybe your personality and aura along with your communication skills that breaks it for you. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by texanomaly(f): 11:45pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
Kay17: Personality can definitely be a factor in how successful your parenting skills are. I've been told that I am a very loving and patient person. I do try. That, on top of the training and experience I have, culminate into the attitude I use, and the techniques I have perfected over the years. Honestly, I wish every expectant parent was required to take a parenting class. Frankly, I don't care how the adults feel about it. Children don't ask to be brought into this world. They deserve better than what many have to endure. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Kay17: 10:05am On Sep 28, 2014 |
texanomaly: Whipping them reasonably and moderately is a sign of love also. For me, whipping is a form of condition to direct their behaviour into the desired patterns. You wouldn't always buy all the toys for them, or all the icecream, sometimes you have to force them to take the bitterest pills, force them to the best habits (waking up early, early independence, reading patterns). You just can't reason with them to have those done. |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Nobody: 11:30am On Sep 28, 2014 |
zeemoore:Same can be said of your so-called new age civilised non-hotting form of child discipline. Humans will naturally tow the path of least resistance and avoid pain and discomfort whenever or wherever it is necessary to do so zeemore: while cooperation based on respect lasts permanently, bringing many years of mutual happiness as the child and parent grow older.Yeah, that explains why all parent-children relationships in your heavenly America(your spelling gave you away) that didn't involve corporal punishment are thriving and brimming with love zeemore:So, what is withholding privileges and enforcing timeouts? Would you classify those as love, and if so, how so? In my opinion though, withholding privileges is just withholding privileges, it is not an expression of love. It's just a means whereby a parent tries to control the actions of their child zeemore:The same can be said of pvssycat moms/dads. A child could learn to be smarter knowing well that there'd be no tv or video games or freedom if they're caught doing something. The thing is, as humans, we attempt to get away with whatever guilty pleasures we can resist especially when it means death by flogging or boredom zeemore:No need to be condescending, you're don't have the right to command followership of your opinions. zeemore: I just want you to know children learn attitudes and behaviors through observation and imitation of their parents' actions, for good or ill.Yes, indeed. Though one wonders why there's so much high-school massacre in this Amayrica of civilisation and "love" by children from supposed enlightened parents. Wonder where they learnt how to shoot and bomb their school mates and teachers. Must be from their Nigerian facebook and twitter friends, don't you think?! |
Re: Do Nigerians Feel Corporal Punishment Is The Only Way To Teach A Child? by Nobody: 11:36am On Sep 28, 2014 |
zeemoore:Toss the melodrama and condescension, woman. Has Kay17 allded to cussing or strangling hos children? Maybe you shouldn't be opening threads like this if you have no interest in debate. This is an open forum not your private journal. 2 Likes |
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