One of the most widely misread verses of the Bible used by some Christians husbands to justify spousal abuse is…

Ephesians 5:22: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”

Some husbands feel they have god-like authority over their wives and are justified in disciplining them, if they refuse to “obey” or “submit” to their authority. In their sick, twisted minds, it’s their job to “keep their wives in their places”, as ordained by God.

With the rising tide of domestic abuse within the Christian community, why isn’t it dealt with more openly? Why are some pastors still counseling wives to stay put, pray harder and submit more to their abusive husbands, as a way of changing their husbands’ wicked hearts for the better and saving their marriages, because 'God hates divorce'?

In some cases such counseling has led to the deaths of wives and their children, at the hands of their abusive husbands who sometimes commit suicide after the act. Family and friends may also contribute to abused wives finding it difficult to leave their abusive marriages, by urging them to, in one way or another, stay with their abusive husbands, because "No one in our family gets divorced!"

Besides feeling tremendous pressure from their church and relatives to “keep the family together no matter what, many wives stay in abusive marriages because they...

...believe marriage is "'til death do us part”
...were taught that a woman is not considered a complete woman unless she's someone's 'Mrs.
...don't want to be pitied or gossiped about
...don't want to be blamed for the breakdown of the marriage
...don't want to disappoint their families
...don't want to be the object of jest by other married women
...are ashamed and embarrassed to admit they married the wrong man
...have been raised in abusive homes and believe violence is the way husbands and wives relate to each other
...don’t think they can support themselves and their children
...fear retribution from the abusive husband
...fear emotional damage to their children
...believe their abusive husbands will kidnap their children and they'll never see them again

In some cases, women in abusive marriages are made to feel they're responsible for their husbands’ brutish behaviors. Otherwise, why would supposedly good, loving, well-intentioned Christian men do such terrible things to their wives and sometimes their own children?

When abused women do find the courage to approach their pastors for help and advice, their pastors sometimes believe they're mistaken, exaggerating or just being too emotional. What some pastors don’t realize is that abusers are master manipulators and sociopaths and quite adept at presenting themselves as ideal husbands, fathers and pillars of the church and community. Even worse, some pastors are abusers themselves and less likely to empathize with an abused woman, give sound advice or steer her to counselors who have been trained to deal with domestic abuse.

Good pastors counsel troubled couples because they believe the power of Jesus can improve the worst marital situations and save the marriage but, in some cases, it’s just not possible.

Effective pastoral counseling, regarding domestic violence, requires education, excellent communication and listening skills and being open to seeking outside advice and counsel from other pastors and professionals who are more qualified in dealing with domestic abuse.

Abused women should be very wary of any pastor or person who advises them to stay in an abusive marriage, especially if there are children involved. If need be abused women should be open to finding a better pastor or a professional domestic abuse counselor who can safely guide them and their children out of an abusive marriage.

This is not the time for women to be silent. The lives they save may be their own and their children.

Copyright © 2014 zboyd

“There are far too many silent sufferers. Not because they don't yearn to reach out, but because they've tried and found no one who cares.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich

Today wives are the ones that wants their husbands to submit to their Stubbornness.

This world is full of choices for any one to be making noise about nothing. If you can't stand the heat, then don't bother entering the kitchen

I didn't read that your epistle but i know that, in that particular passage, precisely verse 25, there's also an important message for husbands too, it says...."husbands, love your wives as your own body just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it".
Husband,
If you love your wife, you won't treat her like a glorified housemaid, for example, you both come back from work around the same time, you lie down on the sofa watching TV while she's both cooking and taking care of the kids, yet you complaining why your food is served late, yet in the night, you still expect her to do some bedmatic acrobatic exercise for you.
If you love your wife, you won't cheat on her, with excuse such as "she's no longer as sexy as she was when you met her", even after popping out 2, 3 or even 4 kids for you,
If you love your wife, you won't turn her to a punching bag, claiming she's too stubborn, she need to be taught a hard lesson.
If you love your wife, you won't abuse her emotionally and psychologically.
If you love your wife, you won't treat her like a trash, you would rather treat her the way you will treat yourself.
If you love your wife, you would appreciate her and treat her the way you want her to treat you, and also treating her the way you will treat yourself, knowing fully well that she's your better half.

Until husbands start to love their wives accordingly, they should forget about their wives' submissiveness, afterall, action and reaction are equal and opposite.

Febup:
Today wives are the ones that wants their husbands to submit to their Stubbornness.

so, it's only wives that are stubborn.......na wa o....women don suffer!

greatgod2012:
I didn't read that your epistle but i know that, in that particular passage, precisely verse 25, there's also an important message for husbands too, it says...."husbands, love your wives as your own body just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it".
Husband,
If you love your wife, you won't treat her like a glorified housemaid, for example, you both come back from work around the same time, you lie down on the sofa watching TV while she's both cooking and taking care of the kids, yet you complaining why your food is served late, yet in the night, you still expect her to do some bedmatic acrobatic exercise for you.
If you love your wife, you won't cheat on her, with excuse such as "she's no longer as sexy as she was when you met her", even after popping out 2, 3 or even 4 kids for you,
If you love your wife, you won't turn her to a punching bag, claiming she's too stubborn, she need to be taught a hard lesson.
If you love your wife, you won't abuse her emotionally and psychologically.
If you love your wife, you won't treat her like a trash, you would rather treat her the way you will treat yourself.
If you love your wife, you would appreciate her and treat her the way you want her to treat you, and also treating her the way you will treat yourself, knowing fully well that she's your better half.

Until husbands start to love their wives accordingly, they should forget about their wives' submissiveness, afterall, action and reaction are equal and opposite.

faints...

The annoying part is the commandment by Paul wasn't even sanctioned by Christ.
Infact, 1 cor 7:25 & 40 opened my eyes to how Paul made some decisions by himself which weren't led by the Holy Spirit. No wonder he often contradicts himself but I don't blame him, he's human afterall.
However, what annoys me is when shitheads like TV01 and his accomplice start to spout gibberish without that plumeled part of their cerebrum able to decipher love itself is a submissive act and Paul's directiveness/commandments was led by the flesh/common reasoning and not given by the holy spirit.
As a matter of fact, love equate submission. You can't love without being submissive to that very person. When Christ says 'love your neighbour as yourself', how much more is your wife/husband who's your bone of bone and with whom you've become one with?
In other words, if every pastors out there preaches about love and treating one another as you want to be treated, all this form of strife and selfishness wouldn't exist in christian marriages. But, what they talk about is submission and submission of the wives only, forgetting that love equate submission. Hence, a husband ought to submit to his wife too, if he truly loves her.
It's a shame the blind have been leading the blinds since Paul's days...

A wife shows submission unto her husband when she allows him to take leadership in the relationship but you should not expect a woman to submit to a man who has no plans and in fact doesn't know where he is going. She is not dumb.

Shirley07:
The annoying part is the commandment by Paul wasn't even sanctioned by Christ.
Infact, 1 cor 7:25 & 40 opened my eyes to how Paul made some decisions by himself which weren't led by the Holy Spirit. No wonder he often contradicts himself but I don't blame him, he's human afterall.
However, what annoys me is when shitheads like TV01 and his accomplice start to spout gibberish without that plumeled part of their cerebrum able to decipher love itself is a submissive act and Paul's directiveness/commandments was led by the flesh/common reasoning and not given by the holy spirit.
As a matter of fact, love equate submission. You can't love without being submissive to that very person. When Christ says 'love your neighbour as yourself', how much more is your wife/husband who's your bone of bone and with whom you've become one with?
In other words, if every pastors out there preaches about love and treating one another as you want to be treated, all this form of strife and selfishness wouldn't exist in christian marriages. But, what they talk about is submission and submission of the wives only, forgetting that love equate submission. Hence, a husband ought to submit to his wife too, if he truly loves her.
It's a shame the blind have been leading the blinds since Paul's days...

very astute of you...

I am coming

Shirley07:
The annoying part is the commandment by Paul wasn't even sanctioned by Christ.
Infact, 1 cor 7:25 & 40 opened my eyes to how Paul made some decisions by himself which weren't led by the Holy Spirit. No wonder he often contradicts himself but I don't blame him, he's human afterall.
However, what annoys me is when shitheads like TV01 and his accomplice start to spout gibberish without that plumeled part of their cerebrum able to decipher love itself is a submissive act and Paul's directiveness/commandments was led by the flesh/common reasoning and not given by the holy spirit.
As a matter of fact, love equate submission. You can't love without being submissive to that very person. When Christ says 'love your neighbour as yourself', how much more is your wife/husband who's your bone of bone and with whom you've become one with?
In other words, if every pastors out there preaches about love and treating one another as you want to be treated, all this form of strife and selfishness wouldn't exist in christian marriages. But, what they talk about is submission and submission of the wives only, forgetting that love equate submission. Hence, a husband ought to submit to his wife too, if he truly loves her.
It's a shame the blind have been leading the blinds since Paul's days...

We can treat you fumble about love = submission later .

First, please tell us how God allowed Pauls epistles (which you claim as below) to be included in the canon of holy scripture. Did God make a mistake or plan to mislead us?

Shirley07:
And those letters of Paul were one show of horror, ought to be locked up in a pit of hell. I'm sure he was the one James and John advised the children of God not to listen to.

Feminianity - "for when you love a little rebellion with your Christianity, and know that Jesus was just a really sweet guy"


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