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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* (10493 Views)
The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) / 1985.... 1987.... 2014--[a Crime Story] / All In A Circle.....(A crime story) (2) (3) (4)
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Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by Olaooni88(f): 6:50pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
*following* |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by Seanixking: 7:03pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
Didnt see my name among the invitees....seems am nadt invited....#thinkin.......D9ty7 oya come and complete your story asap.... |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 7:16pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
Divepen: Chinedu shillaps nauh Lols..boss shey na latin you dey speek? |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 7:17pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
Olaooni88: *following* Welcome dear |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 7:19pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
Seanixking: Didnt see my name among the invitees....seems am nadt invited....#thinkin.......D9ty7 oya come and complete your story asap.... Oga no be so o..forgive your humble omoshe. *directs him to the high table* |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 7:21pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
Oga francistony I sight u o 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by Seanixking: 8:41pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
treasuregr8:Nw you r *tlkin* posting, uhmm were didt we stoped??i hey! Bring me pop corn and vitamilk am following this story still my Baby Mama comes Calling |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by Dopeyomi(m): 9:17pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
Nice one sister.. I've been unable to reach уσυ, my 2go account was suspended Keep on updating us On the story.. 1 Like |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by Nobody: 9:26pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
Tanks for d dedication ma 1 Like |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 10:17pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
Dopeyomi: Nice one sister.. Tnx dear..it's been quite a long Time |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by D9ty7(m): 10:17pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
Thanks for the dedication. And all I'll continue to say is welldone for the good job you've been doing here. But I have some corrections even though I have a feeling you have it in your next update already. Permission to spill it out ma? |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 10:24pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
D9ty7: Thanks for the dedication. And all I'll continue to say is welldone for the good job you've been doing here. What else are my here for?, go on. |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 10:27pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
D9ty7: Thanks for the dedication. And all I'll continue to say is welldone for the good job you've been doing here. What else are my here for?. I stand to be corrected |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by D9ty7(m): 10:34pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
Thanks for giving me the go at pointing out some mistakes. Note: I may be wrong too. 1. Characters: Lets get to know them? You are writing from your own point of view, with the use of 'I' therefore, I think we should know more about you and your siblings, Chinedu and Sandra.(*am I right?) 2. Description: The window slammed. Are you seated in the bedroom or the living room? What's the condition of the room? Well furnished or colourful? Even though from the way you described the area you lived in, am sure the room was not up to standard. 3. Let your updates be more frequent and lengthy. Also, take note. Little grammatical blunders should also be eradicated. The last thing I have for you is commendation. You started the story with a young girl, preparing for an exam. (*am I right?) And you called the story a crime story. Am watching to see how things will play out. |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 10:42pm On Oct 02, 2014 |
D9ty7: Thanks for giving me the go at pointing out some mistakes. Noted..tnx a lot But please, an instance for no 4 (grammatical errors) |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by Fatalveli(m): 7:34am On Oct 03, 2014 |
I believe dat no ordinary writer can write a crime story cos it is a story for the gods! Thumbs up bro |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by D9ty7(m): 9:59am On Oct 03, 2014 |
Story for the gods? quite funny. [quote author=Fatalveli]I believe dat no ordinary writer can write a crime story cos it is a story for the gods! Thumbs up bro[/quote] |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by Fembleez1(m): 11:43am On Oct 03, 2014 |
treasuregr8: #dedicated to D9ty7, snowprince, Timothy, Divepen# Good morning dear,...........before I point out something,I want to commend ur effort on sitting to write this story,...I tell u not everyone can do what u are doing,more so u being a she,....U are great dear,and I pray more power to ur elbow. Well the only correction I want to point out is this:- "Forgetting that blessed are 'them' that gives,than they that takes",............why not "forgetting that blessed are 'they' that gives,than they that takes" Because it seems 'they' is more suitable for that instance. My knowledge is limited dear,so I stand to be corrected You didn't offer me seat,snacks and soft drink o but I no vex |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 11:51am On Oct 03, 2014 |
D9ty7: Thanks for giving me the go at pointing out some mistakes. For no 4, frequency and length. These are my reasons: 1. I'm always busy, so I reach u guys at my leisure time or whenever I'm less busy. 2. I type with a phone and not a system. 3. most times my network are bad. I'm sure u know how it feels when after typing the long post, you find out that all u typed have been erased. But nevertheless, I will try and make it up to u guys, because there is no room for excuses in the journey to success. And remember I'm still a learner. 1 Like |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 11:58am On Oct 03, 2014 |
Fembleez1: Noted dear..tnx for the corrections. If I no give u seat..na who I go give?.. *directs him to the high table* chucks! Get him a bottle of coke. 1 Like |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 12:03pm On Oct 03, 2014 |
Next update loading... I pray MTN go add sense to them nonsense. |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 6:02pm On Oct 03, 2014 |
#Dedicated specially to my big brother, Donpope# FLASHBACK 21--09--1994 Killer, a thirty-nine years old assassin swapped his normally worn clothing for a black frock coat, dark ashby vest, And a black shirt with a white collar. He change his normal headgear for a wider flat brimmed black hat. He added an eyepatch over the left eye for an effective allusion to the targeted victim. The eyepatch slightly clipped into his cheeks. He wore a bandana, And tucked his trousers into a set of jackboots. He opened the weapon box slot, And collected cadet 55, A revolver with serial no H-18426 and a colt 1911. *** Akboze, a 38 years old assassin wore his usuall black suit, A black T shirt And a long faded red tie. He puts on a red neck bandanna, A mask ; A bandolier, a piece of belt-like clothing designed to hold extra ammunition, With a repeater ammo and an AR-15 riffle rounds tied to it. He tucked in his black trousers into a Pair of boots and took his favorite weapon, Baretta 380 ACP, a stone tomahawk dagger and a double barrel pistol. *** Dillish, a 24 years old blackmailer and assassin, Also wore like them, But without a suit and a tie. She wore a black mask, A plain black polo, A pair of tight trousers which viewed her feminine figure eight shape. She wore a black boot with her trousers tucked in it. She packed her long Brazilian weavon her in a butterfly like shape, And pinned it with a black hair band. Not forgetting to add her favorite weapon, A dangerous hair pin which looked like a small unusual kantana weapon used for murder, during the ancient red redemption assassination to her hair. that was the usually hideout for the weapon. This was her favorite weapon. She used it professionally like it was produced specially for her alone. She took a pitcairn-putnam pistol from the weapon box slot and added it to the dangerously hair pin. They all looked like devils from the pit of hell. Eyes as red as a burning charcoal, with cocaine-induced ambition for murder. This was a well prepared mission. Whoever hired them, got the right culprits as they were so determined to succeed. There were sense of bad omen. A sense that death would rock an eminent personality. An Imminent threat of misfortune. A kiss of death. *********************** Chinedu was the baby of the house And he had the habit of annoying Sandra. Sandra on the other hand, Derived joy in lording it on chinedu, She knew everyone sides on him whenever they had a quarrel. She understood, But she always liked making him cry, Just to let him know that though he was the last, that does not make him the favorite. To be continued... 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 6:12pm On Oct 03, 2014 |
Dear readers, Please bear my short post and inconsistency in posting. I only reach u guys at my convenient time. Do not hesitate to point out corrections and criticism. I LUV Y'ALL Next post loading... 1 Like |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by Fembleez1(m): 7:08pm On Oct 03, 2014 |
treasuregr8: |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by Dopeyomi(m): 8:36pm On Oct 03, 2014 |
Cool... #waiting patiently for the next update I sight that "akboze" wey you use o.. If the story ωσυℓ∂ be conveted or transformed to a mOvie that means i will starr in it... Madam treasure shey уσυ understand 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 9:04pm On Oct 03, 2014 |
Dopeyomi: Cool... #waiting patiently for the next update Yes sir |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 9:56am On Oct 04, 2014 |
I hv a new idea of updating so as not to keep u guys waiting. I will be updating by 9pm daily. Agreed?. Please air ur views? 2 Likes |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by Timothy3113(m): 10:08am On Oct 04, 2014 |
treasuregr8:supported 2 Likes |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by Niwdog(m): 10:37am On Oct 04, 2014 |
Odi allowed 2 Likes |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by SegunFlames(m): 12:53pm On Oct 04, 2014 |
Nice work. Wanna see how it turns out Now following! 2 Likes |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by africanchoice(m): 10:14pm On Oct 04, 2014 |
[color=#990000][/color]nyc write up babe i always nu u cn do it..thumps up |
Re: RENEGADE. *A Crime Story* by treasuregr8(f): 2:57pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
“is that how to greet your elders, chinedu?" I asked retorically, Trying to divert the discussion to avoid our neighbor's attention. Though the stomachache in the family of the lizard, is also in that of the crocodiles, most of our neighbors were potential gossips. They so much derived joy in gossiping other's ill, rather than solving theirs. Sandra ignored me and continued yearning over her hunger. Even though she knew I was indirectly trying to stop them. “don't you dare me this afternoon, chinedu" She warned with an accusing finger and a wicked look. “shut up!, if u are really hungry, why not soak garri...”. I shouted at her, reducing my voice while pronouncing the last two words. “..or still, take a gong and go broadcast it at the street, I'm sure you will see people lining up to volunteer foods”. my family had always been the best thing that had ever happened to me. Though we lived in abject poverty, happiness and love was one thing we never lacked. Laughter was one of the bedrocks of my family. Father had the habit of making us laugh and causing happiness whenever there was nothing to eat, Then chinedu and Sandra would dish it with their co-wives quarrel. Happiness was like a food to us. We were just three kids in the family of Mr Kelvin Anderson, and unike other kids in the double 'v', we all bore a white name except for that of Chinedu. He had always asked father why he was the only one who had a native name, And had always gotten "because you are a special one" as a reply. The the fact was that chinedu was born when terrorism was at its highest rate, So he had taken the name which meant 'God protects'. Something had always bothered father. I had a felling he was living in fear of what he kept secret, But whatever it was, Nothing could forever be hidden under the sun. They had always looked up to me. They believed I would be the one who would save them from that austere plight of life. Sandra had proved her fastidious hope in me by sacrificing her education for three years so I could finish mine. She believed I would get a job Immediately after my education and send her back to school. I had promised to prove my allegiance. I would do anything.....anything possible, to change the status of my family. ************************ Mr yussuf adekunle got down the stairs to the sitting room. He adjusted his white buba dress as he sat on a grey white two-seater sofa adjacent to the panasonic TC-P60VT60 plazma television which hung at the top of the wall. At the right side of the room were latest model of a home theater CD player. In the room were other varieties of ostentatious goods. The room looked simple but enriched with wealth. One does not need any prophet to tell that the owner of the house was rich. Mr yussuf adekunle was a retired admiral of the fleet officer in one of the member states of the north Atlantic treaty organization. He got the position during the organization's partnership for peace program during which its troops were deployed abroad for an expeditionary warfare after the peace program proved abortive. As the then rare admiral who coordinated other junior fleets, he was promoted to the rank of admiral of the fleet, with huge salary running in nine digits, As a reward for his Impact. He picked up the TV remote, as he patiently waited for his wife. He change the TV channel to a popular international media station, ajazera. “..........was killed in a reckless attack by a terrorist group in the government house of iran..." "this Iran are never tired of war” he said to himself as he listened to the caster. "in few hours time, the popular young midshipman of the united states naval academy, Royco Adebola yussuf, would be receiving a medal award from the US government at Dallas paradise, Pittsburgh island by 2:30 pm. The young midshipman is being commended on his efforts in curbing the high rate Of illegal bunkering of oil and pipeline vandalism. Recently, vessels containing stolen crude oil were Impounded within the country's coastal region..." The caster broadcasted. He smiled and glanced at the large picture frame of his son which stood elegantly against the wall. That was the only picture in the room. He choosed to place it there so as to take glimpse of his pride at intervals. That was picture of his son in a navy uniform, with the rank insignia on it. It reminded him of his youth age in office. When war and treasure hunts were orders of the day. When the blood of betrayal flows in human veins. "gone are those days" He murmured with a soft smile on his lips. The memories of the old flowed into his mind. That was the sign of old age. When one travels through the lane of one's past, With either regret or pride. He's was pride. He was proud of his past achievements. He looked at the picture once more, That was his pride. His mirror. To him, there were no differences between him and his son. Royco was the sheep off the old block. and now he has continued with the work of his father. But this time, it was to right his father's wrong. He glanced at the wristwatch, "dammit! How time flies" He could not Imagine why his wife kept him waiting. "honey hurry up, we are already late” ”just a minute dear”. His wife answered from upstairs. ”women are always women, it takes them two hours just to dress up, as if they are dressing heaven and earth" He soliloquyed. In few minutes time, they left for the airport. 1 Like 2 Shares |
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