depopson:
Pastor was preaching about Infidelity as defined it as 'not being loyal', immediately wat popped into my head was 'these h**s ain't loyal'.

NO THEY AINT!!!!!!!

MNDY:


Oya Come Chop Your Slap!!!

*begging* oga oga abeg no vex
I no go look for ur trouble again sir
Lol

Na only u get dat bwess?

Today was my first time of attending mass in my ppa in ikwerre local government area of rivers state,I was like zombie,the priest did d whole mass in igbo n ikwerre language,d only word I heard was when d priest said in english “the mass is ended let us go in the peace of christ”

keandre:


wtf

any problem with that?

Haven't been to church in months!!! And I finally went today..Just 4 comminion to b over and those their usual prayers were being said...all dem Catholics in the house wud know wah I'm saying! Next thing I hear is 'prayer against Ebola'

Omo...I raise up head in shock o!!!

lwkmd

Don't know what you guys did at Church today. One pastor that owes us money must pay tomorrow or else..
Well, let me wait small sha.

I pity this generation

Tarokboy:
Today was Harvest
Harvest of one of the groups(meanwhile other groups have done or will soon do theirs and it will follow the pattern below)

Check out order of offering:

Tithers
General offering
Synod offering
Group 1 offering
Children's offering
Women's offering
Men's offering
other group offering
Clergymen offering
General Harvest offering
Contribution for a member offering

Reverend said 75% of the Bible is all about giving.

I do not have issues with the above as no one put a gun to my head to give but PLEASE SUMMARIZE OUR GOING FORWARD.

must b an anglican church, i bet ma nokia torch on dis one

Mysterious33:
Here's mine, the woman sitting next to me wore this hard lacy-material and each time it touches my hand, it's like I'm been scrubbed with a metal sponge and at every available opportunity, she rubbed that cloth on me. At a point, I had to check my hand for bloodstain, I could bet I would bleed if the service extended for another 10mins....guess its d case of a sheep in wolf-clothing.

LMAO....

This girl don post for religion section and see the kind topic.

Once again, There is a very big difference between a christian and a church-goer

~shakes my head~

Pastor/Alhaji Aliko Dangote breeze in n breeze out today at trinity house church in Oniru...

Most of these pastors are corporate thieves.

Superstar007:
My pastor asked how much I bought
my iphone6 . And I told him 25k
instead of 200k cos I didn't want him
to know I had that amount of money
on me.
Now he just gave me 50k to buy the same phone for himself and his wife.
Please, what should I do?

ur punishment is to complete the moni.
nxt time dnt lie to a god of man

krall:
Farano which church?

Wait let me remember




April, 2008
Pastor said all the single ladies come out to the altar for prayers...
Battalion of pretty and non pretty ones flooded like ants.
Then he said all the single men come out.... They also did..

All of them stood there gazing and "eyeing" one sister or the other and expecting a session of hot prayers to start, when the pastor looked.. and looked... and looked.... and out of anger said "infact, ushers ensure that no man here leaves without a woman!!!! also make sure every woman should select one man here and befriend!!!
How will we have fine women in this church and these men will still marry outside."

Commotion ensured and Two sisters in the choir ran and grabbed brother taiwo who previously gave a testimony of acquiring a brand new duplex in an estate in lekki...

lolz.u no go kill me with laugh abeg

Sammy okposo sang in my church todaydamn.different sizes of nyash come service today..god help men the nyashies ain't loyall?how man go concentrate?

2day was d first sunday in october, so we wer havin thanksgiving service, anoda man of God was invited 2 come and preach. Gosh, 2day we laughed d man cnt speak eng o! He was sayin rubbish, we wer laughing ehn.Lyk who d f*ck is dis dude? Did he go to school he wil blow 1 gbagaun lyk "dat man look resemble" "u shud be thankful 4 d air u are breath" "nd i wanted to broke it" choind d most annoying thing is dat my cousins based in london came 2 visit me, we all went 2 my church. Anytym d pastor release 1, their faces will be lyk 'wat d hell!' i was beyond embarrassed! Anoda thing dat happened was dat after d service, we went 4 refreshments 4 1 child dedication.. We wer all happy, like wow so we are eating rice nd chicken today? the couple doin d dedication said dat this food is goin 2 be special, our minds all went 2 shawama nd hotdog.. buffet sef! but guess wat they gave us BEANS! oh.. And did i mention that a wicked usher put me directly under A.C

krall:
Farano which church?

Wait let me remember




April, 2008
Pastor said all the single ladies come out to the altar for prayers...
Battalion of pretty and non pretty ones flooded like ants.
Then he said all the single men come out.... They also did..

All of them stood there gazing and "eyeing" one sister or the other and expecting a session of hot prayers to start, when the pastor looked.. and looked... and looked.... and out of anger said "infact, ushers ensure that no man here leaves without a woman!!!! also make sure every woman should select one man here and befriend!!!
How will we have fine women in this church and these men will still marry outside."

Commotion ensured and Two sisters in the choir ran and grabbed brother taiwo who previously gave a testimony of acquiring a brand new duplex in an estate in lekki...

Lol

Kachisbarbie:
This couple did thanksgiving today in church - the wedding was yesterday. The pastor said, if you don't want this year to pass you by...come forward.
...mehn, both male/female...every1 started adjusting/wearing their shoes well to take off to the altar.
No one wanted to be the first to get there(altar)- to avoid looking desperate...

Then the MOG said - come with a seed offering to challenge God. I actually saw some people sit back

Kachisbarbie:
This couple did thanksgiving today in church - the wedding was yesterday. The pastor said, if you don't want this year to pass you by...come forward.
...mehn, both male/female...every1 started adjusting/wearing their shoes well to take off to the altar.
No one wanted to be the first to get there(altar)- to avoid looking desperate...

Then the MOG said - come with a seed offering to challenge God. I actually saw some people sit back

Hishuula:
I be Muslim sha....yesterday as we no get moni buy ram na only musoro (he-goat) we wan kill so the rope cut naso musoro take tear race o,all my friend wey neva see am con join us dey find am dem con dey ask say Shea na cow or na ram.to talk say na musoro na wahala so I just dey use anoda talk cover am and you know say to catch musoro hard pass how u go take catch cow self....I'm telling you till now MUSORO Neva come house o & since that yesterday our pot just dey stranded

Lmaooooooooooooo!!! I'm sorry but this is too hilarious!!!! I have always imagined something like this never knee it could happen...

kika23:
I didn't attend service today

Hope there's a genuine reason behind it

Zohan:

Hope there's a genuine reason behind it

Ioono if you'd find it genuine but yes there is....

Enahi:
The guy that sat close to me was breathing like a fish,very disgusting and irritating.

How does a fish breathe abeg? Lmao

Emmysteve:
And this sounds funny to you? How old are you?

My dear friend, do not supress a fart. Let it gooooo like a free bird, anytime, anywhere... Lol

victorazy:


Ur useless. Islamised goon like u
Some f00lish christians that doesn't know whom they r in Christ have joined you making mock of pastors.

Oga relax abeg, no be fight. Mtcheww

Zohan:

How does a fish breathe abeg? Lmao

I sincerely don't know lol,but this guy's breath stinks.

Enahi:
I sincerely don't know lol,but this guy's breath stinks.

Really? That's bad tho....Buh still better than sitting beside a big ass woman who farts every 15 minutes

3coins:

lol. . . Maybe you guys do those stuffs alot

lol.

victorazy:
I pity this generation

which u are also a part of

EroticAngelina:
2day was d first sunday in october, so we wer havin thanksgiving service, anoda man of God was invited 2 come and preach. Gosh, 2day we laughed d man cnt speak eng o! He was sayin rubbish, we wer laughing ehn.Lyk who d f*ck is dis dude? Did he go to school he wil blow 1 gbagaun lyk "dat man look resemble" "u shud be thankful 4 d air u are breath" "nd i wanted to broke it" choind d most annoying thing is dat my cousins based in london came 2 visit me, we all went 2 my church. Anytym d pastor release 1, their faces will be lyk 'wat d hell!' i was beyond embarrassed! Anoda thing dat happened was dat after d service, we went 4 refreshments 4 1 child dedication.. We wer all happy, like wow so we are eating rice nd chicken today? the couple doin d dedication said dat this food is goin 2 be special, our minds all went 2 shawama nd hotdog.. buffet sef! but guess wat they gave us BEANS! oh.. And did i mention that a wicked usher put me directly under A.C

Zohan:

Really? That's bad tho....Buh still better than sitting beside a big ass woman who farts every 15 minutes

but shey u said it should be let go like a free bird?